FabSwingers.com forum: Are men scared to admit they are bi-curious?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is it fine for a woman to freely admit she likes the idea of licking another womans pussy but not so cool if a guy says he would like to try sucking a cock??

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

(M, male here)Personally I'm not afraid to express my personal sexuality and preferences, as I want play meets to go well, without any issues or problems. However, many men do seem afraid to do this, as they believe, probably correctly, that they will get less opportunities for straight sex on forums like Fab. Some have told us that they have received snide remarks and even hate mail from other people, usually but not exclusively men.

Why are people like this? Dunno for sure, but homophobia is part of it, perhaps the fear that admitting even mild curiosity will either turn them 'gay' (which, for the record, I'm not) or make them appear less manly or weaker to other people (men!)

I'm BI sexual.. which means I love straight sex with women, as well as enjoying sexual activity with men, mostly in 3 or 4 somes with both sexes getting involved.. best of all worlds in our view, as we both have the same opportunities and outlook.

No, it can't actually be 'right' that bi girls are happily tolerated, whilst bi guys are often vilified and ostracised, but hey, it's not a perfect world. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, and will never ram it down anyone's throat (unless they ask me to!

). At the end of the day, we're not likely to play with anyone who doesn't know all these things about us first, so it hasn't been a problem to date.

But a lot of people won't necessarily have this confidence, and yet they will still have their own feelings to consider. For some of them, keeping a straight profile, whilst looking/hoping to find some bi opportunities may well be the best way for them to manage things.

Mr 2Bi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the honesty its refreshing!! I am amazed at how many replies we have had to our profile that state the male is straight even though i have made it quite clear that we are both up for a bit of experimentation. I was lucky, from myself and hubby talking it only took one trip to a swingers club to satisfy my fantasy but its proving to be more difficut for us to implement his

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cause some men like 2

think men r men

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

mmmmm So does that mean that they think that a woman who enjoys another woman is not a woman??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wonder where the bi-curious guys are but you also block all males from contacting you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"mmmmm So does that mean that they think that a woman who enjoys another woman is not a woman??

no they just like 2 think they r manly lol

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By *ord and ladyCouple
over a year ago

around Glasgow

"Why is it fine for a woman to freely admit she likes the idea of licking another womans pussy but not so cool if a guy says he would like to try sucking a cock??

"
every guy is curious to whats going on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By the way my question was not meant to be read in an aggressive tone, I can understand you not wanting to be inundated.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think it very unfair for a man to say he is straight but really bi curious. But then equally unfair for people to be wary of men who like a bit of male play too. At least they have the balls to admit it. I admire men who will admit to being bi.

In my opinion if you bi say it, if your curious say it, but dont lie and pretend to be one thing when your actually curious.

Mind you I daydream about having lots of men f**k me (gang bang) but know damn well I will very likely not ever have the balls to do it so it isnt on my list ok likes.

Just be honest and lay it all on the table before meeting.

If any male wants to come and play with each other while I watch then yes please. But only those who actually admit to being bi lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By the way my question was not meant to be read in an aggressive tone, I can understand you not wanting to be inundated.

think ur post was didnt sound aggressive xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

only single males as we are looking for couples with bi male and female

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just makes me wonder when bi males are part of a couple they tend to keep quiet about their bi curiousness, is this bacause women have a problem with bi males, men have a problem with bi males or is it that actually no one WOULD have a problem with bi males, but males arent quite as confident as women when it comes to acting out and discussing their fantasy's as a female i have met mant other females who have said in the right situation etc they probably would play with another female whereas most mens reaction straight away is Im not gay !!! erm that wasn't the question....sorry for rant just passing time whilst rice is burning lol on a nicer note isnt it great to see the sunshine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just gone cloudy here

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By *eppoch1970Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

?? because he is scared of being called a bent shot poof like us real ones and not being queer bashed??

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"?? because he is scared of being called a bent shot poof like us real ones and not being queer bashed??"

.. possibly and maybe probably, but they don't need to meet anyone they don't like the look and sound of, and can report/block anyone who is verbally abusive on here or anywhere else... stick and stones etc?

Part of it may also be that it's almost 'trendy' to be a bi woman these days, but definitely not for most, average guys. Again, this is a cultural problem, and it won't change easily, except by open discussion like this in suitable forums, where gradually more people may be encourage to be open about their sexuality and preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men are definatly scared to admit it, it's less tolerated in society compared to bi fems/lesbians because a lot of men get a kick of the thought of 2 women together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a shame that on a swinging site, in fact any adult site, men feel the need to lie!!

We all have personal preferences who we play with - tall, short, slim, bbw - sad that some men have to hide it! Daft really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Phil) am fully bi and happy to admit it on here. However, in "normal" society there is a stigma attached to it (it's the same as being gay to many people and that's just not "manly", is it?) and I will admit that I keep my sexuality a secret away from the scene.

I agree that it's damned annoying when we keep getting messages from apparently straight men telling us how much they want to suck my cock or vice versa. If you're bi or just curious about it, admit it.

Nothing to hide on here, is there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it fine for a woman to freely admit she likes the idea of licking another womans pussy but not so cool if a guy says he would like to try sucking a cock??

Titillation!!

For a woman to perform for a man, well, that's fine, however, not if she's full lesbian. this has been accepted slowly but surely for many years, with porn adding to that. now. women being Bi for their own satisfaction is good too.

For a man to admit it isn't always so easy, not right now anyway, give it time and things will change, like the bi fems, slowly and surely we will see a difference, just as we already are doing.

Besides that, I'm aware of some Bi females that hide that fact.

Women had their liberation fight years ago, men have started theirs more recently.

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By *haven767Man
over a year ago

plymouth

"Why is it fine for a woman to freely admit she likes the idea of licking another womans pussy but not so cool if a guy says he would like to try sucking a cock??

Sometimes it could be because they do not want to be found out that they are bi by people in their hometown or at work. So they say straight but really want to be Bi

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

"Are men scared to admit they are bi-curious?".

This appears to be true, I was in contact with a woman only today who was going on about meeting up with guys who were supposed to be straight but then turned out to be bi. She was totaly pissed off about it.

They could give us 'realy' straight guys a bad name, if we had'nt apparently got one already!!!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men don’t admit to being bi so they can attract a bigger audience, that’s our opinion anyway, if you cannot state your sexuality on a swinging site, then where can you state it? we're not falling for the, some people become abusive so we hide it sob story, jesus some people become abusive for just being told no thanks, would you really want to meet these people anyway? It’s all about success, or it is on swinging sites.

If it was about anything else, or even because its not socially acceptable to be a bisexual man, then surely they would just pass by profiles that state NO BI MALES in flashing neon lights??? But they don’t, they message away, just like they message profiles of openly bisexual people, pleading they’re really bisexual when their profile says they’re straight.

Either way, if someone wants to hide behind any label, they should be able to, we respect their choice, however it would also be nice if everyone’s choices and preferences could be respected, it should always work both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (mr) have recently decided bi fun is somethign i realy want ot try and have updated my status accordingly

my other half is encouraging me to explore this with her full blessing but thinks i should try it 1st 1on1 with a guy like her 1st few bi experiances

so for the last couple days i have spent loads of time saying no to bi / currious guys some with a straight profile who seem to think claiming ot be bi is a shortcut into my wifes nickers

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By *eppoch1970Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I have a married friend on here who has had dogs abuse over the years on gaydar because they throw the verbal excrement at him, claiming that he is a "real" homosexual but is too scared to admit it etc.

He is also totally bisexual, and so is his wife. This is a "Queer" one on me lol and shows how things are moving on from the days when I met some sad, lonely married men in the gay bars/discos in the 1980s.

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By *eppoch1970Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Meant to say (((HUGS))) to bisexual men today. They really do have the worst deal in the pack, straight men are scared of them, a lot of people think they are less of a man, and their gay brothers who should stand shoulder to shoulder rip them to bits too. Is it any wonder I "rescue" them and give them a bit of tlc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like you enjoy meeting sad lonely married men, or you seem to mention it in every post, so what’s the problem, surely being gay is not as negative as you keep portraying it to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men don’t admit to being bi so they can attract a bigger audience, that’s our opinion anyway, if you cannot state your sexuality on a swinging site, then where can you state it? we're not falling for the, some people become abusive so we hide it sob story, jesus some people become abusive for just being told no thanks, would you really want to meet these people anyway? It’s all about success, or it is on swinging sites.

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm bi, and openly admit it on my profile, however in my non-swinging life, its a closely guarded secret.

I had a situation, very recently where a colleague joined this site and for a few days I had to change my profile until I could block him. (He's since been banned) It was far easier to do this than face him blabbing around work as I work in quite a backwards and unenlightened environment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dunno , lots of bi man kicking about on here , but as stated maybe in everyday life they dont really say much about it . others maybe its an insecurity they dont want to knwo about it who knows , me im not bi just an average very boring straight guy lol never felt the urge or attraction to a guy , but reckon if did i would give it a go cause you never know lol

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By *edro71Man
over a year ago

newcastle under lyme

although not stated on my profile i am bi curious if the situation were to arise i would have no problem getting stuck in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only have to look around at the different profiles which have no face pics to get a sense of how many people do not want to risk having their sexual activities discovered, no matter how ordinary those activities may be. Most of us may claim to be open and understanding, but I've noticed varying levels of this attitude.

Just being a single male on a site like this can be rough on the ego. In the outside world we're just ordinary people, but in here we're the lowest of the low.

I wish I could just post a picture (face, body, and cock) and declare nothing else about myself, so anyone who just 'likes' what they see can inquire for themselves. I like to please women, first and foremost, but there are lots of things I will do to achieve that, and lots of things that I find a 'turn on' but if it's not what someone else wants then I'm happy to do without, I'm flexible.

In fact I'd rather declare the things I won't do than the things I would do, it's easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i love womans bodys but i do love to play with a cock aswell. im not afraid to admit that. its all good fun so theres no problem

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By *ayc_BigballsMan
over a year ago

Derby

"although not stated on my profile i am bi curious if the situation were to arise i would have no problem getting stuck in.

why dont you state it on your profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

although never tried it I would happily play with another guys cock in the moment!however I can't win as when I say I am bi curious couples tell me they not interested in case I try shag the male!!believe me it's not the case.but bi couples turn me down if I claim to be straight.I can't win.how can somebody who is open to try new things with other similar minded people win? Bi means you do both and not necessarily at the same time just with the mood.I won't shag your boyfriend unrelentlessly just cos it's says I am bi, please!!!not how it works

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Did I actually read people in this thread saying if a guy is curious about sucking cock he should admit it on his profile

Feck me! Does that mean everyone has to detail everything they have ever fantasised about on their profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok another theory to why men are scared to admitt they are curious in our opinion is that not a lot of women are actually turned on by the thought of seeing 2 men together

tho this is just an opinion

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"although never tried it I would happily play with another guys cock in the moment!however I can't win as when I say I am bi curious couples tell me they not interested in case I try shag the male!!believe me it's not the case.but bi couples turn me down if I claim to be straight.I can't win. ..."

You can't win because they are obviously not open minded and like to make you fit into a compartment in 'their' minimalist box set of sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Open minded is not a sexuality though

If we had more options like bi playful, orally bi, or any other for that matter, most would still use the straight label

Perhaps there should only be 3 choices, straight, gay and open minded

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Strange question this. For people who are so open in their sexuality we find it odd that so many have hangups about bi-guys.

If a guy professes to be bi so what? as the other guy you don't have to indulge, just play with the ladies and make it clear you are straight, its no big deal!

As to myself I have no such qualms about it. I am straight, but should we be in a situation with a bi-guy and the moment was right, I would possibly try oral sex with him.

Its no big deal is it? after all, who's gonna find out? If you can't trust your wife/partner to keep the secret then you really shouldn't be swinging anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a shame that on a swinging site, in fact any adult site, men feel the need to lie!!

We all have personal preferences who we play with - tall, short, slim, bbw - sad that some men have to hide it! Daft really!

Excellent post!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/10 20:51:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/10 20:54:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it fine for a woman to freely admit she likes the idea of licking another womans pussy but not so cool if a guy says he would like to try sucking a cock??

Some guys do but most of us think the male body isnt a patch on a womans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately some people, both men and women are turned off by just the thought of seeing two men together, sometimes the mere thought of what people do can be the turn off without having to witness anything, the mind works in strange ways, it’s not always about the male being scared he’ll get jumped on, the way we see it is if something makes someone uncomfortable then they shouldn’t do it and be honest about it, people should respect their choice without having to question it.

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

Had a message conversation last week with the male of a couple that were both bi, asking if I would meet with them. When I pointed out that I was straight, he replied he always 'tries it on' (with people they actualy want to meet) as so many men on FAB say straight on thier profiles but are actualy bi but are afraid to put it in their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a message conversation last week with the male of a couple that were both bi, asking if I would meet with them. When I pointed out that I was straight, he replied he always 'tries it on' (with people they actualy want to meet) as so many men on FAB say straight on thier profiles but are actualy bi but are afraid to put it in their profile.

Difficult one - may be his way of testing the water? Not sure we would agree to the way he goes about it, honesty is better, then there won t be any unpleasant surprises and evenings gone sour?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Have some of you ever considered some guys don't say they are bi because they don't think they are bi... not according to their definition. And your definition may be different to theirs?

I am not trying to say all straight men are straight... I know for a fact some are not.

I also know not all bi-guys are bi.... some are gay but a bi-curious male may be put off meeting a gay guy.

Pretending to be something you are not - I don't agree with.

Being pushed to proclaim a sexuality label you don't even identify with just because some fella gave you a wank once or because you thought about a guy sucking your cock ... is equally wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have some of you ever considered some guys don't say they are bi because they don't think they are bi... not according to their definition. And your definition may be different to theirs?

I am not trying to say all straight men are straight... I know for a fact some are not.

I also know not all bi-guys are bi.... some are gay but a bi-curious male may be put off meeting a gay guy.

Pretending to be something you are not - I don't agree with.

Good post - wondering whether or not we actually need labels at all?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I would say yes on a NSA sex site.

If you didn't find out what sexuality someone was before a meet because you don't want to label yourself, you could end up meeting someone the total opposite of who you are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking for my self personally i don't consider my self to be the least bit bi. I'm not homophoic but the thought of being with another in that way...nah it just sends shiver down my spine.

No offence to anyone who's gay or bisexual but it just isn't my thing. Which is a shame in a way because single bi guys probably have a better chance with meets than what the single straight guys do.

I've had guys kiss me on the cheek and vice versa or given a guy a smack on the lips for a laugh or in a manner of just being affectionate

but that's it. I'll confess to having gone through a breif phase in my teens but i think most guys go through that at some stage of their teen years.

I've had MMF threesomes in the past but under the strict understanding that their will be no screwin' around going on between me and the guy. Its just the two of us being with the one woman. I would ofcourse never turn down the chance of being in a MFF threesome course, especially if the two ladies in question are pleasuring each as well.;-)and they feel comfy doing it. Its not an ego thing with me

as like i said i've been in MMF threesome before. Its just totally not my thing.

I would never be pushed in to being made to think i was something or not and if anyone did i would have to wonder why? I think some (and i mean small minority of bi and gay men/woman)like to think that all of us are at least bi.

And those who say otherwise

are in some denial.

That or they're those who will wind up a straight guy for a laugh

. That i don't mind if its done in all good funa and the guy is kind of aware that its a bit of banter (because jokes can go too far, particularly when the one on the recieving end isn't so sure its a joke).

But any way. I think maybe a small minority like to think we're all bi because maybe they think it validates to them that we're not all so sexually different

I'm sorry but we're just not and its out differences that as always should be accepted and celebrated.

After all, isn't it the French who coined the phrase Viva la' difference!

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

i know a guy who is guy but first came out as bi and that boy went through hell from all sorts of ppl but it might of been diff as he told family and friends etc all in one go didnt ease into it

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

i know a guy who is guy but first came out as bi and that boy went through hell from all sorts of ppl but it might of been diff as he told family and friends etc all in one go didnt ease into it

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Here is another question (or more), the answer to which may be part of the answer to this thread.

Why do so many people make assumptions about what a man will do sexually if he has bi or bi-curious on his profile?

Are all bi males equally attracted to both sexes?

Do all bi males have to play with both sexes if both sexes are present?

Does it mean they will suck any cock within reach?

Does it mean because they fancy poking the missus they won’t be able to keep their hands off of the hubby?

Does it mean they kiss other men?

Does it mean they give/take anal with another man?

Does it even mean they suck cock at all?

Does it mean they don’t mind being sucked and fucked?

When laid out as a series of questions, most of us realise it doesn’t necessarily mean any of the above, yet plenty of people will assume it means something when they see it on a profile.

If a hubby fucks his wife up the arse does he expect to fuck every other women they meets up the arse… or ws fans do they feel the need to piss on everyone they meet.

So why do so many people make assumptions about what a bi/bi-curious male will want to do with them? And it’s pretty obvious they do if you have studied the posts on this subject over a period of time.

May be if a few more people stopped assuming they know more about an individual’s sexual behaviour than the individual does (yes, individual… because we all are and should be treated as such) then may be a few more guys would feel more comfortable in being a little more open without being pre-judged.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think for someone who is saying people do a lot of assuming that you are making a lot of assumptions yourself

I don't think anyone has assumed what people do in the bedroom and voiced it on the forums the way you say.

I also think that most people are adult enough to know that not every person will like everything to do with sex, and that by leaving one part of sex out of the equation won't make you any less or more bi, straight or gay.

To be honest, I think you are analyzing it way too much.

Be proud and honest of whatever sexual preference you are and enjoy it.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I think for someone who is saying people do a lot of assuming that you are making a lot of assumptions yourself

I don't think anyone has assumed what people do in the bedroom and voiced it on the forums the way you say.

..."

May be not so much in this thread but in threads gone by there has been assumptions by the bucket load.

And if people are not assuming being a bi male means anything in particular... why do people keep making an issue of men NOT calling themselves bi?

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

As your (polo's) lengthy post above indicates, there are MANY shades of grey in the straight- bi spectrum. Unfortunately, we don't have enough labels to cover each shade, so we use the two or three popular ones. But I dont think it matters. As Rugby says, enjoy what you are, and respect others freedom to live their lives and fantasies as they see fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/10 08:52:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for someone who is saying people do a lot of assuming that you are making a lot of assumptions yourself

I don't think anyone has assumed what people do in the bedroom and voiced it on the forums the way you say.

...

May be not so much in this thread but in threads gone by there has been assumptions by the bucket load.

And if people are not assuming being a bi male means anything in particular... why do people keep making an issue of men NOT calling themselves bi?"

Personally I take issue with it as I state on my profile I'm not interested in bi men - my preference. Therefore if someone contacts me saying they are straight but in subsequent conversations it transpires they have had bi experiences then I would be annoyed!

The same way I would be if someone said they didn't smoke but when we met they smelt like an ashtray, a man porporting to be single but was in fact married...

I don't contact men when I'm looking I make it clear what I'm looking for. Therefore I don't think it's unreasonable to expect said man to read and note what my specific requirements are and exclude himself if he doesn't match!

I can only speak for myself, what other people do or who they do is not of interest to me, all I expect is honesty from those that contact me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May be if a few more people stopped assuming they know more about an individual’s sexual behaviour than the individual does (yes, individual… because we all are and should be treated as such) then may be a few more guys would feel more comfortable in being a little more open without being pre-judged.

Brilliantly said hun, let hope more people take notice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of men feel it emasculates them if they admit they like having sex with other men, and will put off couples and some women if they admit they enjoy it

What i never get is when clubs have bi and none bi nights yet its still ok for women to openly play together on none bi nights, same gender sex is just that, i really can't see the difference

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I am not knocking your preference... it's yours and your right. I am curious though what difference it makes to you if a guy in a group situation has received a hand job from another guy?

I can understand the example of someone saying they are not a smoker and then turning up smelling of smoke.

I am not so sure of the difference it makes if they say they are not a smoker but enjoy a cigar at Christmas?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I think a lot of men feel it emasculates them if they admit they like having sex with other men, and will put off couples and some women if they admit they enjoy it

What i never get is when clubs have bi and none bi nights yet its still ok for women to openly play together on none bi nights, same gender sex is just that, i really can't see the difference

Good point - I'd forgot about clubs and bi-nights.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of men feel it emasculates them if they admit they like having sex with other men, and will put off couples and some women if they admit they enjoy it

What i never get is when clubs have bi and none bi nights yet its still ok for women to openly play together on none bi nights, same gender sex is just that, i really can't see the difference

if only the rest had felt the same way, I dont know why its acceptable for women to play together but its frowned upon when two guys play together, in my experience with contacting couple, I get pigeon holed straight away and the assumptions are there, the guy assumes I want to do everything possible to him as well as his partner and thats never the case, boundaries are always discussed before any playing begins, I've met straight couples and respected their wishes but on the occasion I've been surprised by the "straight guy" giving me oral

but I just go with the flow, indeed, you admit your bi and you do get less opportunities that those who declare they are straight on their profile, I like to be truthful from the start so those who do contact me (I say those but to be honest, I dont get many messages) know what they are getting, it is frustrating though when single "straight" guys or even the guy from a couple who contacts me cause his mrs is out and wants a quick fix

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Henry has only ever had sexual experiences with women. But he does have a huge gay porn collection, his favourite being ‘The Postman Always Rims Twice’. He finds himself sexually attracted to both genders. In the chatrooms he often struggles with deciding who to watch on cam… the ladies or the guys wanking… he does love the sight of a long straight shaft being hand pumped.

Defining sexuality by the sexual acts we do with others…. Henry is straight, even though it is obvious he is bisexual.

Charlie often meets a couple for a 3some. He’d met the couple several times when on one occasion he noticed the hubby was holding Charlie’s cock for the wife to suck and cupping his balls so she could lick them. He was a little phased by this but at the time he was so horny and it was such a good blowjob that he let them continue. They discussed this afterwards and Charlie said he could cope with what had happened but he didn’t wish to do the same for the hubby or for the hubby to go any further than he did.

Defining sexuality by the sexual acts we do with others…. Henry is bisexual, even though it is obvious (to me anyway) he is a straight guy who was just horny as a horn-dog and tried to block out the gender of the person holding his cock whilst he enjoyed a woman sucking it.

Depending on how you define sexuality, both could claim to be straight and both could claim to be bi... but there is a world of difference between them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't let this thread kid you all.

There are actually some straight guys that have no interest at all in other guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Henry has only ever had sexual experiences with women. But he does have a huge gay porn collection, his favourite being ‘The Postman Always Rims Twice’. He finds himself sexually attracted to both genders. In the chatrooms he often struggles with deciding who to watch on cam… the ladies or the guys wanking… he does love the sight of a long straight shaft being hand pumped.

Defining sexuality by the sexual acts we do with others…. Henry is straight, even though it is obvious he is bisexual.

Depending on how you define sexuality, both could claim to be straight and both could claim to be bi... but there is a world of difference between them.

And that world of difference is denial, so the question is why? because theres someone for everyone out there, Its a real shame that on a sex site, putting straight on your profile leaves you open to interpretation because so many shuffle behind that label, we might not like being labeled, but thats why they are there, it's the dishonestly thats the major problem to most people and not the fact they're actually bisexual.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Defining sexuality by the sexual acts we do with others…. Henry is straight, even though it is obvious he is bisexual.

Depending on how you define sexuality, both could claim to be straight and both could claim to be bi... but there is a world of difference between them.

Which one is in denial?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think too much over analysing is going on here and I don't think any one should have to justify how or who they play with.

I'm here for fun with certain types of people. If I wanted to simply get laid all I'd need is to put on my profile "woman" and hire a social secretary!

There are things I question: to myself ie why do straight single men want to play with straight couples, the male half is redundant surely, but that's not for me to question in forums.

We're here to have fun, there'll ALWAYS be someone to play with just be honest with what you want and who you are and enjoy!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I think for someone who is saying people do a lot of assuming that you are making a lot of assumptions yourself

I don't think anyone has assumed what people do in the bedroom and voiced it on the forums the way you say.

...

May be not so much in this thread but in threads gone by there has been assumptions by the bucket load.

And if people are not assuming being a bi male means anything in particular... why do people keep making an issue of men NOT calling themselves bi?"

Assumptions will always be made, but I would be very surprised to the depth you suggest.

You look at a profile, you see a straight couple, you can't tell me you then think, I wonder if they have done oral or anal or snogged etc, so why do you think people looked at a profile, see a bi male, and think to themselves I wonder wether they have sucked fucked or been fucked from a man.

You just look at a profile and decide if you fancy it.

I really am at a loss now as to what or who you are getting at anymore.

We have had lots of mails from people saying they are bi but put straight on their profile , we don't ask them why they do it, but because they are not being honest with that, then we can't be sure they are being honest with anything else, ie that they will turn up so we say no thanks.

As long as people are honest with themselves and the people they meet, I can't see what the problem is.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I think too much over analysing is going on here and I don't think any one should have to justify how or who they play with.

I'm here for fun with certain types of people. If I wanted to simply get laid all I'd need is to put on my profile "woman" and hire a social secretary!

There are things I question: to myself ie why do straight single men want to play with straight couples, the male half is redundant surely, but that's not for me to question in forums.

We're here to have fun, there'll ALWAYS be someone to play with just be honest with what you want and who you are and enjoy!

And there was me thinking you'd help me understand your point of view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which one is in denial?"

Charlie, but you’re over analysing again, the only other label we need here if any, is “really straight” because straight people get confused when they read these threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Im bi and confused

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

I cant believe that there are statistically more bi/curious women in the world than men, (even though, allowing for slight exaggeration

you have a hard job finding a 'straight -straight' couple's profile on here!) but the male dominated culture we live in gives men who express a bi leaning such a hard time that many bury their feelings or are cautious about how they list themselves.

You see a lot of profiles from couples and women who state that bi males/couples with a bi male need not apply, but rarely see any warning off bi fems/couples.

As Shag says, of course there ARE loads of straight guys, not hiding their bi side, but the factor that influences the others the most is the pervading, cultural, macho bollocks that bi or gay guys are less manly than the straight ones.

And it pisses me off that my wife can lick pussy any night of the week in any club, but if I want to play with a willing guy's cock, other than in a locked room, I'll be committing a breach of etiquette! Fucking hypocrisy!

right, off me soap box now! That feels a lot better!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As long as people are honest with themselves and the people they meet, I can't see what the problem is."

And that is my point... some people who may have experienced same gender contact and wouldn't rule it out 100% in the future are being honest with themselves and others when they say 'straight'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i remember watching a programme on the tv years ago about Bisex people . The so called expert said we have hetro and we have gay/lesbian he said bisex was a sex pervesion ie people who have this perversion will have sex with the same sex because they can and get a sexuall kick our of it but at the same time would not seek to have long term same sex relationship etc because they are not gay.

He went on if you put a group of medium to high sex drive males or females on an island and left them for a few months some would have same sex with each other.

Now from my experiance years ago in my free and single days i was living in swindon and i met a similar age couple through the old contact mags before we had these great groups we have now on the net, they were looking for a guy for 3some fun anyway after a few meets we met up for an evening of sex where i am happy to say we the guys pleasured the lady in question however during the evening the lady was straddling my face as i licked her lovely pussy i felt my cock being wnked when she raised herself in order for me to bloody breath i looked down and their was her guy wnking my cock and he carried on until i came . Now i am not bi in the sence i would seek out bi guys buy i think in a group sex thing it can happen as it is part of a full on sex session where you aint going to say stop wnkin my cock mate lol.

Saying all this my wifes friend confided in her, once that her then husband who was macho man when he was single and if he didnt pull on a saturday night use to have wnkin sessions with his flat mate while watching the odd porno film never touching each other but wnkin and watching so i think it is more popular than we think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And that is my point... some people who may have experienced same gender contact and wouldn't rule it out 100% in the future are being honest with themselves and others when they say 'straight'."

So when do they become bi curious?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Which one is in denial?

Charlie, but you’re over analysing again, the only other label we need here if any, is “really straight” because straight people get confused when they read these threads. "

So because a man touched his cock once he is in denial about being a bisexual male?

And I'm the one being told I am making assumptions

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

As long as people are honest with themselves and the people they meet, I can't see what the problem is.

And that is my point... some people who may have experienced same gender contact and wouldn't rule it out 100% in the future are being honest with themselves and others when they say 'straight'."

Sorry I quoted the wrong one before .

That is your take on it polo, we all havn't got the same view.

I personally would say I was bi if I dabbled and enjoyed it, but thats me.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I think too much over analysing is going on here and I don't think any one should have to justify how or who they play with.

I'm here for fun with certain types of people. If I wanted to simply get laid all I'd need is to put on my profile "woman" and hire a social secretary!

There are things I question: to myself ie why do straight single men want to play with straight couples, the male half is redundant surely, but that's not for me to question in forums.

We're here to have fun, there'll ALWAYS be someone to play with just be honest with what you want and who you are and enjoy!

errr they are never redundant in our house when I get to play with two males

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As long as people are honest with themselves and the people they meet, I can't see what the problem is.

And that is my point... some people who may have experienced same gender contact and wouldn't rule it out 100% in the future are being honest with themselves and others when they say 'straight'.

Sorry I quoted the wrong one before .

That is your take on it polo, we all havn't got the same view.

I personally would say I was bi if I dabbled and enjoyed it, but thats me."

And I understand your view and accept it is different to mine. I understand it because I have questioned it before and you have explained how and where you place the defining line.

Doesn't mean I won't question it again if I see a possible exception to your rule... just as I have no problem with people questioning my view.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You can't win because they are obviously not open minded and like to make you fit into a compartment in 'their' minimalist box set of sexuality."

If you did indeed accept other peoples views on the subject you wouldn't be calling them narrow minded for having a view on it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Or rather not open minded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think too much over analysing is going on here and I don't think any one should have to justify how or who they play with.

I'm here for fun with certain types of people. If I wanted to simply get laid all I'd need is to put on my profile "woman" and hire a social secretary!

There are things I question: to myself ie why do straight single men want to play with straight couples, the male half is redundant surely, but that's not for me to question in forums.

We're here to have fun, there'll ALWAYS be someone to play with just be honest with what you want and who you are and enjoy!

errr they are never redundant in our house when I get to play with two males

Forgot about greedy girls!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol sassy, seriously though, we have had many assumptions of what goes on in our meets....the main one being the hubby can't service me as it were so I need others to.

Was that yours or a different one? Be honest.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You can't win because they are obviously not open minded and like to make you fit into a compartment in 'their' minimalist box set of sexuality.

If you did indeed accept other peoples views on the subject you wouldn't be calling them narrow minded for having a view on it.

Some people are though and in the context of the reply and what I was replying to... I stand by that statement. It doesn't mean I feel everyone with a different view is narrow minded... just the narrow minded ones

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol sassy, seriously though, we have had many assumptions of what goes on in our meets....the main one being the hubby can't service me as it were so I need others to.

Was that yours or a different one? Be honest."

Rugby as I said albeit tongue in cheek, didn't look at it from the female perspective. I just couldn't see the point of a straight man or straight woman in the middle of a couple!

I certainly didn't assume the male partner had any form of penile dysfunction and needed another man to assist lol!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol yeah, you wasn't thinking that the men are on either end !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol yeah, you wasn't thinking that the men are on either end !!

Lol as I said, forgot about greedy girls, especially as I've often fantasised about being spit roasted! Looks like I'm more under the weather than I thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which one is in denial?

Charlie, but you’re over analysing again, the only other label we need here if any, is “really straight” because straight people get confused when they read these threads.

So because a man touched his cock once he is in denial about being a bisexual male?

And I'm the one being told I am making assumptions

Polo, I like reading you’re posts, you come across as wise and educated, so I’m totally bemused as to why you cannot see the difference between someone’s opinion and an assumption, why ask the question if you’re going to assume the answers an assumption.

Charlie is no different from yourself, he’s comfortable having another man hold his cock in the heat of the moment, be doesn’t want to return the favour, so why would you argue the point Charlie should descibe himself as straight, when you yourself choose not to use the straight label?

It’s nothing to do with being narrow-minded, it’s more a case that some of the things being mentioned throughout this thread, not you're posts, is making straight people question what straight actually means, why over complicate things? and add other variations to being straight rather than chose the next available category, whether we like them or not, they’re there for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was (scared that is) but now, if it really puts a prospective couple off, they weren't for us anyway.

We play with bi-fem/straight-male couples, and they don't seem to mind that I'm bi-curious.

As long as everyone knows upfront that there's no bi-play among the guys, that's fine - and when we do meet with a bi-couple, there's nothing hidden.

Mr66.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The good thing about being bi is it doubles ya chances lol xx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

And they say I am greedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This all seems a tad confusing, particularly I would imagine to people new to the scene. My hubby Paul is not homophobic but is straight, he wouldn't freak if in the heat of playing, another guy accidentally brushed past or something but he wouldn't want any other type of contact either. I describe myself as bi playful, by that I mean I am comfortable playing fully with other women, but I don't go to tesco and want to drag other women into bed, I like men too much lol .... confused anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This all seems a tad confusing, particularly I would imagine to people new to the scene. My hubby Paul is not homophobic but is straight, he wouldn't freak if in the heat of playing, another guy accidentally brushed past or something but he wouldn't want any other type of contact either. I describe myself as bi playful, by that I mean I am comfortable playing fully with other women, but I don't go to tesco and want to drag other women into bed, I like men too much lol .... confused anyone?

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

All the time ... do you shop in our local tesco?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

All the time ... do you shop in our local tesco?

I do now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

All the time ... do you shop in our local tesco?

I do now!

I'll see you by the fire exit next to the weetabix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

All the time ... do you shop in our local tesco?

I do now!

I'll see you by the fire exit next to the weetabix

Ahh, my favourite aisle, how did you know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

All the time ... do you shop in our local tesco?

I do now!

I'll see you by the fire exit next to the weetabix

Ahh, my favourite aisle, how did you know?

Womens intuition ... didn't have you down as a rice krispie man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope... do you drag men in from tesco though?

All the time ... do you shop in our local tesco?

I do now!

I'll see you by the fire exit next to the weetabix

Ahh, my favourite aisle, how did you know?

Womens intuition ... didn't have you down as a rice krispie man

I go for the shreddies.... but I stay for the coco pops

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Which one is in denial?

Charlie, but you’re over analysing again, the only other label we need here if any, is “really straight” because straight people get confused when they read these threads.

So because a man touched his cock once he is in denial about being a bisexual male?

And I'm the one being told I am making assumptions

Firstly my apologies, the assumptions comment was not a truly a direct response to you but more a flippant remark regarding other comments on the thread… it was naughty of me.

The subject of what is bisexuality, why men don’t say they are bi etc has been discussed many times on many swinging forums, so whilst there may not be any of the best examples of assumptions about bi males in this thread… they are out there nevertheless. I also know people make assumptions about sexuality by the conversation I have with couples and singles who contact me because I have ticked the bisexual box on my profile. Usually “sorry we assumed you were a real bisexual” and often followed by “you shouldn’t advertise yourself as bi”.

Whether I tick a box on a profile or not… I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Straight people say I am bi and bi people say I am not.

Yes I chose the box I ticked. But I tell people I am straight and for sometime now I have been considering changing it back to straight on my profile. So why did I choose it in the first place? Well it was a combination of things:

Being pressurised by people who kept insisting they knew my sexuality better that I did.

So I didn’t have to listen to people trying to tell me I am in denial.

Picking the lesser of two evils… at least this way I don’t get ignorant women saying “eeewww you never said you fancy women”… when I don’t fancy women in the slightest.

If I tick that I am straight I risk putting off the couples who would like to both be able to play with their female guest… and understand my situation. And I then risk attracting more of the type of couples I don’t want to meet than the ones I do.

And it seemed just less hassle.

Why shouldn’t straight people question what straight is? It’s exactly what this thread and many like it ask bisexuals (or what they think are bisexuals) to do?

It’s easy to say ‘why don’t you just accept you fit in this box or that box’… when you have a box you feel comfortable in.

Beside me, because nobody knows me and what makes me tick like I do, there are only a few dozen people in this country who are qualified enough to tell me about my sexuality and challenge me from an informed position. I doubt many of those people are posting in this thread. That doesn’t mean other people have no right to an opinion on how they view sexuality or how they would categorise me… it means they are not qualified to tell me I am wrong about my own sexuality.

Every time someone states that men (similar to me) are in denial, they are also tarring me with that brush. Do you think this thread is being unfair in making straight people question what is straight… you should try sitting in my seat and have people questioning your sexuality all the time. Until you’ve experienced it, it’s difficult to truly appreciate…. and that’s why I will always post in this type of thread in defence of a minority of guys who are indirectly being labelled and accused of something they don’t believe they are. The ones who know they are bi and just say straight to play the numbers game.. fuck them they are on their own!

. btw... thanks for the comment on my posts in general x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As your (polo's) lengthy post above indicates, there are MANY shades of grey in the straight- bi spectrum. Unfortunately, we don't have enough labels to cover each shade, so we use the two or three popular ones. But I dont think it matters. As Rugby says, enjoy what you are, and respect others freedom to live their lives and fantasies as they see fit.

Actually that is what I meant when I asked if we needed labels, only you expressed it a lot better.

Yes, we sure do need to state whether we are essentially straight or bi or bi-accessible etc..

We just wondered whether we needed so much labelling for the fine details, the shades of grey you are referring to... it makes the whole matter of swinging a bit too analytical and non-spontaneous.

Also agree with... just celebrate what you are... "you" meaning anybody...it is meant to be recreational not governed by self-administered red tape?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually that is what I meant when I asked if we needed labels, only you expressed it a lot better.

Yes, we sure do need to state whether we are essentially straight or bi or bi-accessible etc..

We just wondered whether we needed so much labelling for the fine details, the shades of grey you are referring to... it makes the whole matter of swinging a bit too analytical and non-spontaneous.

Also agree with... just celebrate what you are... "you" meaning anybody...it is meant to be recreational not governed by self-administered red tape?

Exactly: that's what I was trying to say.

Some people seem hell bent on sucking the fun out of this by analysing every...single...permutation and shade of "biness".

I'm not looking to date anyone of this site so there's no need to delve so deeply.

I say no bi men as I play with men discovering their submissive side. Seeing the look on their faces when they first see my toy chest and feel how their bodies react when they are introduced to anal play is a major turn on for me. I bi male wouldn't give me the same thrill now would he!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Anyone else wish to throw in the over analysing card? An interesting card to be played in a debate

Just to clarify…. especially for the confused.

I have not suggested there needs to be any more boxes on profiles to cater for the complexity of sexual identity.

Yes we should use the boxes there are as accurately as we can.

People should celebrate what they are…. without being told they have ticked the wrong box and are in denial, when they have ticked the box they feel DOES best describe their sexuality.

(I say 'people' having looked at one or two profiles where the lady states she is 'straight')

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else wish to throw in the over analysing card? An interesting card to be played in a debate

Just to clarify…. especially for the confused.

I have not suggested there needs to be any more boxes on profiles to cater for the complexity of sexual identity.

Yes we should use the boxes there are as accurately as we can.

People should celebrate what they are…. without being told they have ticked the wrong box and are in denial, when they have ticked the box they feel DOES best describe their sexuality.

(I say 'people' having looked at one or two profiles where the lady states she is 'straight')

Agreed in principal.. and the last part of the above statement is a difficult one I think, because I for example consider myself straight as I am attracted to men, their brains, their bodies, their minds (which works quite differently from ours, not being cynical here), their scent (again not being funny... talking pheromones here...

I am not sexually attracted to women but can, and have been known to play with genuine, lovely ladies... for me I got a lot of pleasure out of pleasing them but it is not a sexual pleasure..

I do not know how I could possibly label myself as "bi"... for I am not.. but for some folks I would by definition not be straight either.

I draw the conclusion to put myself down as straight.. as that is what I consider myself to be.

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By *ayc_BigballsMan
over a year ago

Derby

is that then any different to a bloke who doesnt fancy other men but has been known to play with other guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me? In a play situation, I do enjoy everyone being able to lick, touch or suck whoever they want. It adds to the fun, it creates endless possibilities and can make the fun go on longer. That means, in that kind of situation, I must be bi as I'm happy to play and be played with by the male in the couple.

I previously played as one half of a MF couple, and when there was 4 or more likeminded people together - wowser!

I am most definitely not gay. I've never, ever fancied a male and I have no wish to play with a male alone. one to one.

Given all this, to say I am straight would be a downright lie. Just like finding out that someone I was looking to meet with/had met with was telling lies about themselves, I wouldn't want to play with them, if people found out I was lieing by labelling myself straight I would presume they would run a mile from me.

I'm being honest about what I like. It's not saying that is all I'm interested in. It's just like other sexual interests that you can label on here. You may say you like making videos - it doesn't mean you are going to film every session, you'll only do it when you meet people with a similar interest that you feel comfortable with. Likewise other interests, anal, dp, ws whatever. Because you say you do it, doesn't mean you expect it every time you meet someone.

By labelling myself bi, I realise that in many people's eyes on here I have a stigma attached. I realise that it means I will potentially meet a lot less people because the more narrow minded think that they can't go with a bi male or else he'll jump on them.

And to be frank, I'm glad of that, because if they can't realise or accept that I'm not going to jump on them, then we aren't suited anyway!

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"Me? In a play situation, I do enjoy everyone being able to lick, touch or suck whoever they want. It adds to the fun, it creates endless possibilities and can make the fun go on longer. That means, in that kind of situation, I must be bi as I'm happy to play and be played with by the male in the couple.

I previously played as one half of a MF couple, and when there was 4 or more likeminded people together - wowser!

I am most definitely not gay. I've never, ever fancied a male and I have no wish to play with a male alone. one to one.

And to be frank, I'm glad of that, because if they can't realise or accept that I'm not going to jump on them, then we aren't suited anyway!"

....well said. If this doesnt cover it, I cant imagine what will! Shades of grey folks, shades of grey.

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By *hrisy104Man
over a year ago

dudley

well id like to say that years ago id never go there , but the one day at chams i let a wife and her husband suck me , i found it quite a turn on , since then i let both play and have since then sucked on cock at first it was quite strange , i love to cum in side a woman and lick it out then kiss , would like to try this with another mans cum in her , so i say to all men and women , dont knock it till you tryed it

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By *eprobatepairCouple
over a year ago

london

The problem here is one of interpretation.

To many heterosexual men, a bisexual male is effectively a homosexual. To many homosexual men a bisexual man is a effectively a homosexual in denial.

There seems to be a much less judgemental attitude to women expressing their sexuality with members of the same sex.

So, lets be clear here. A lesbian is as physically repulsed by the idea of sex with a man as a heterosexual man is repulsed by the idea of sex with another man. A homosexual man is as repulsed with the idea of sex with a woman as a heterosexual woman is repulsed by the idea of sex with another woman.

So, then , there are many areas in between. We have a profile where Mrs R is happy to be classified as bisexual. Mr R prefers to be classified as straight.

That does not necessarily mean that Mrs R would find every woman attractive, or that Mr R would reject the idea of male to male contact in a play situation.

The fact is there are many shades of grey. We live together in a heterosexual relationship. A play situation is different. The dynamics change. Simply reacting to the individuals in that situation does not label you as gay, straight,bi,lesbian, homosexual or anything else. In the same way that listening to classical music makes you culturally superior to someone who likes The Sugarbabes or Motorhead. (Mrs R is an opera singer Mr R is a rock guitarist). It makes us different in different situations. Labelling people actually labels the labeller more than the labelee.

It took a few goes to make sense of this..best go and suck a nice wet...whatever your label prescribes........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you've hit the nail on the head there _eprobatepair, the selection you choose on here is for the benefit of playmates, and not for how you live your life outside the site/scene, think a lot of people think if they describe themselves as bi curious on a swinging site they have to put it on there cv as well and stand at a street corner with a placard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is that then any different to a bloke who doesnt fancy other men but has been known to play with other guys?"

No, to me it is not.. but that is just my opinion? I am not bothered by the fine detail of the labelling anyway as stated above and can see your point entirely.

It is funny how language works and shapes the way we think and perceive our world. If somebody has committed an offence (of whatever kind) it makes him/ her a criminal even though he may have only done it once and regretted it afterwards.

So, I would not worry too much about the fine detail, put on your profile what you genuinely believe to be... and with an honest attitude to swinging you probably find like-minded honest open people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think you've hit the nail on the head there _eprobatepair, the selection you choose on here is for the benefit of playmates, and not for how you live your life outside the site/scene, think a lot of people think if they describe themselves as bi curious on a swinging site they have to put it on there cv as well and stand at a street corner with a placard.

Seconded both posts - could not have worded it better.

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By *Pebble-Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

most of the men i play with or chat with are bi, but then this IS withing a group they feel safe in

i find Bi persons of both sexes tend to be more open and less judgemental.

certainly at clubs male bi action is often still not understood or accepted where as gurl or gurl brings out the baying cavemen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I LOVE women - head to toe but I also Love playing with cocks,(orally and manually bi)but I'm not bi- wouldn't even consider kissing,caressing or any thing else with a male...just sucking and masturbating a cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem here is one of interpretation.

To many heterosexual men, a bisexual male is effectively a homosexual. To many homosexual men a bisexual man is a effectively a homosexual in denial.

There seems to be a much less judgemental attitude to women expressing their sexuality with members of the same sex.

So, then , there are many areas in between. We have a profile where Mrs R is happy to be classified as bisexual. Mr R prefers to be classified as straight.

That does not necessarily mean that Mrs R would find every woman attractive, or that Mr R would reject the idea of male to male contact in a play situation.

It took a few goes to make sense of this..best go and suck a nice wet...whatever your label prescribes........"

Nicely put...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the term bi-curious!! If a woman goes down on another woman for the first time does she then move from bi-curious to bi-sexual? Perhaps she is merely being "experimental" as in I want to see if I like this?

Anyway I don't want to rant too much so will try and state my point.

It is practically "suicidal" on this site to identify as a bi-curious male whether single or in a M/F couple. The hit rate just dives!! In most people's minds bi-curious equates to being "gay" at least when the term is applied to men and thus not "a Real Man

Well "arguably" using that "old school" mode a guy who is happy for his partner to shag another guy in front of him is not a "real man either".

I like 'sucking' Big Black Cock and have not met many "straight" guys who refuse (there are some and I respect them) when when H and me meet with them.

Some adore it and "really" get off by finishing in my mouth. They will happily admit to a huge sense of "power" when their cum splatters on my face or hits the back of my throat but would be terrified as being identified as "gay" etc.

I would like to say "go figure'?

However I understand and largely sympathize.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s simple really, most do it to attract a wider audience, they just cannot accept that some people don’t want to meet bisexual people, not because they’re homophobic or narrow minded, simply because its outside they’re comfort zone, or it turns them off, most people who are straight know they are straight because they have experimented and it’s not for them, the biggest assumption is that most straight people have closed minds and it scares them, so when you read the word narrow minded thrown about on threads like this, it’s the people that shout “men are scared they’ll be jumped on” that I feel are narrow minded, because having an open mind, is being open minded about everyone’s sexuality and preferences, and respecting them, and not just your own.

This may sound hypocritical because it’s being posted by a straight female, who is part of a straight couple, but you’re welcome to that opinion, I’m straight because I’ve experimented, not because I’m homophobic, narrow minded, or because someone will jump on me, although funnily enough they have, twice, but that’s another story, even though on these threads people tend to throw in that it will never happen, and its just an assumption, well it DOES happen, trust me, I’ve experienced it twice and its not an assumption, It certainly hasn’t put us off meeting people, but it might to some.

Now to the hypothetical bit, if we were a bisexual couple we would only meet other bisexual couples, so being straight, we think we’re best suited to meeting other straight couples, we know bisexuals can play straight, but its always on our mind, why would they want to meet a straight couple, this isn’t just an assumption, it’s through experience we’ve gained by reading forums and chatting to bisexual people rather than ignorance, the consensus is, that bisexuals have the best of both worlds, and there’s nothing better than a group of bodies having fun with wandering hands and mouths, it’s the ultimate, so when straight people constantly read or are told these things, it makes them wonder if they are inadequate, surely a bisexual couple/single would be more suited to meeting similar people??? As far as I’m concerned, if we meet a bisexual couple/male we’re limiting their fun, it’s not because I/we are scared they’ll make unwanted advances, even though it’s happened, it’s because we feel we’re limiting there fun, also after experimenting in the past and finding it turns us off rather than turn us on, so its safe to say its best avoided if you’re not 100% comfortable with something for any given reason.

Best stop slavering now, probably won’t understand a word I’ve written when I read it back later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Instead of fuelling the debate on what constitutes bi-curious, bi-sexual, b-accessible, situationally bi etc....

Would it not be easier to state one's boundaries? For me (female) it would be ...

I will try most things once, although I will not snog a female. I MAY play with her but,as I stated somewhere else, this is not sexually driven. I just love giving pleasure to people I like.

To me this is simpler than explaining within the parameters of a label where ultimately you still have to define what you do and don't?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

The only people who need to know what bounderies we have are the people we meet.

The basic information is enough for us to go on with any profile.

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By *hrisy104Man
over a year ago

dudley

Don't knock it till you tried it , scary at first , they say they straight but like watching cock

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By *odylanguageMan
over a year ago

Dundee

Puberty does not a man make, a real MAN is not scared of another mans penis !

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Is it the gay thing that worries some men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not afraid to admit I've played with guys as well as girls. For me good sex is good sex, irrespective of the type of bits and bobs your partner has got. TBH it first happened when I was offered a BJ from a guy on here, found I really like it and since then I've had my best experience so far with a MF couple where we all played together. If you are curious about it, be honest and "suck it and see". If you don't try how you gonna know if you like it or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it the gay thing that worries some men? "

i am Bisexual and not once thought of myself as GAY, because i see the distinction between both sexual preferences

GAY men/women prefer same sex

Bi sexual men/women are just greedy buggers lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it the gay thing that worries some men?

i am Bisexual and not once thought of myself as GAY, because i see the distinction between both sexual preferences

GAY men/women prefer same sex

Bi sexual men/women are just greedy buggers lol

What's wrong with that!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Yes I think alot are.

The ones thst have they are bi on their profile well done to them.

I prefer bi men anyway mmm

Fruit x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it the gay thing that worries some men?

i am Bisexual and not once thought of myself as GAY, because i see the distinction between both sexual preferences

GAY men/women prefer same sex

Bi sexual men/women are just greedy buggers lol

What's wrong with that!

absolutly nothing lol

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