FabSwingers.com forum: Safe word

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you have a safe word when playing. ??

I sometimes say no but really I want the guy to take control and with me saying no they stop. Which of cause is a good thing . But really in my head I'm thinking. -fuck don't stop!!!!

Does that make sense ?

So need to think of a safe word. Any comments /thoughts or suggestions ??

V xx

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a safe word that runs through our lives and onxe ot is said then what ever is happining at rhat point in time stops with out question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do we have a traffic light system which seems to be quite popular for a lot of people, Amber is a warning that I'm reaching my limits and to either slow it down a bit or go a bit gentler and Red which means stop right away.

I am also one who says no stop when in my head I am screaming don't stop

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We do we have a traffic light system which seems to be quite popular for a lot of people, Amber is a warning that I'm reaching my limits and to either slow it down a bit or go a bit gentler and Red which means stop right away.

I am also one who says no stop when in my head I am screaming don't stop

Not just me then. Traffic light system sounds good. Thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The simple advice is to choose a safe word that has no connection with what you are doing or possibly might do.. ours is tesco.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Traffic lights are great - however you should also be able to use sensory awareness to gauge the congruence of your partners reaction, but hey that some times comes with time and trust. So yes early relationship - traffic lights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Traffic lights are great - however you should also be able to use sensory awareness to gauge the congruence of your partners reaction, but hey that some times comes with time and trust. So yes early relationship - traffic lights

agreec, body language and reactions can tell you alot but you fo have to know each other very well

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Traffic lights are the most simple. Remember you need to be able to recall it when you could have fireworks going off in your head.

Obviously this should all be thoroughly discussed between the partners. There's absolutely no point if no ones paying attention. Be careful who you offer a safe world system to. Some will see it as a right to push every noisy they can did and that's not always a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Traffic lights are the most simple. Remember you need to be able to recall it when you could have fireworks going off in your head.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you. X

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Traffic lights are the most simple. Remember you need to be able to recall it when you could have fireworks going off in your head.

That's 'right to push every boundary they can find and that's not always a good thing'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged

Fuck. Might need to learn sign language !

Ps. Have u been a fly on my wall ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged

very good point indeed...lol now where did I leave that ball gag..lol

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

We used to have a safe word when we first started meeting folks..

we use the 'traffic light' system for bdsm play but any other meet a gentle reminder to go easy or no usually works..

having said that cant remember the last time we used any safe word..

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged

Lol true enough but you can't say 'No' either which the Op said she had in the original post.

Can see hand signals when hands are tied behind someone's back either.

It all depends on the situation.

There's loads of things, hand signals and holding objects that if let go indicate stop. Depends on the people playing and how experienced they are.

Personally we'd recommend keeping it as simple and as easy to remember as possible.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged

Lol true enough but you can't say 'No' either which the Op said she had in the original post.

Can see hand signals when hands are tied behind someone's back either.

It all depends on the situation.

There's loads of things, hand signals and holding objects that if let go indicate stop. Depends on the people playing and how experienced they are.

Personally we'd recommend keeping it as simple and as easy to remember as possible."

Can't see hand signals.

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

No we don't.

But I know her fairly well these days and anyway tend to stop when it is sensible to do so which is often before she would at that point wanted me to do so. The day after however she admits I am usually right to have done so.

She can always , and has previously, say she wished to be pushed further and when I am happy to, I will.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

The issue with safe words that I have is trust.

If you dont trust your partner enough to realise when you can't take any more or things have gone too far, then they are either the wrong partner or dont know what they are doing.

Pretty simply really

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

We havr a safe word for playing with visitors that wouldn't be noticed x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no"

I agree No means No

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

To add. If it gets to the stage where safe words have to be used, then the onus is put on the submissive not the one doing it.

A case of, 'well, you had a safe word and didnt use it'.

Or, once a safe word is used, things have gone too far already, which means all play will stop and discussion will ensue.

Either way, safe words end up being wrong.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"no

I agree No means No"

Er not necessarily in BDSM it doesn't.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/222729

This one is already running

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