FabSwingers.com forum: Cheating behind partners backs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Big question

I feel that if your going to swing as a couple or single and r in a relationship it should be honest and not done behind anyone's back am I alone on my morals . What do you think ?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's behind backs it's not swinging it's cheating. End. Of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheat fright in front of them...see how well that goes.............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you're alone in your morals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it's behind backs it's not swinging it's cheating. End. Of"

we could not agree more xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheating every time. Honesty is the best policy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what about if your doing it doggy??

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

If the other half don't know then it's cheating. Very nasty!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what about if your doing it doggy??"

It's a serious subject. However I did have to chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met "single" women on here who I had my suspicions of but I didn't judge them I just figure people have there own reasons and needs.. It didn't bother me. Just been honest

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I've met "single" women on here who I had my suspicions of but I didn't judge them I just figure people have there own reasons and needs.. It didn't bother me. Just been honest"
I quite agree with your post. While I personally prefer not to meet people who need to keep secrets - I totally agree that it is not up to me to judge those who do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is my view too but a lot on here seem to not see it this way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've met "single" women on here who I had my suspicions of but I didn't judge them I just figure people have there own reasons and needs.. It didn't bother me. Just been honestI quite agree with your post. While I personally prefer not to meet people who need to keep secrets - I totally agree that it is not up to me to judge those who do. "

Yeah to me it didn't matter about there past or things they have going on in there life. I live for the now and just try and enjoy the moment.. For me that's what swinging is about..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The bit that I don't understand is when they get off/ moody with ya because you have morals . I always say swinging is about trust and being open so I can't see how ya do this if you being deceitful, even more so when they lie on the profile if it says on pf then it's giving you the choice but when they out n out lie on pf but then ya find out well just wrong end of .

Sorry for the rant but it just ticks me off lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which partner wife or mistress?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is my view too but a lot on here seem to not see it this way "

I agree with you last time i was on fab i met a guy said he was single but suprise he was married. His wife gave me a call told me to get over being used.

I gave the twat a piece of my mind alot of swingers have no morals but i bet if their partner cheated on them they would hate it.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big question

I feel that if your going to swing as a couple or single and r in a relationship it should be honest and not done behind anyone's back am I alone on my morals . What do you think ????? "

its when you stop to think, things go wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it. "

and you believe married men are honest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?"

They do... but Miss_tress has some amazing filters!

No married man would lie to her. I remember what her filters are.

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By *zanyCouple
over a year ago

truro

We will not knowingly entertain anyone cheating. Enough genuine people on site just got to filter them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree even though my wife dosnt want any part of swinging she knows that I do it and it turns her on witch has made are sex life lots better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm I have noticed on here if people are honest about it, they get stick or are told they are less likely to get meets. If I was cheating, I wouldnt say I was in relationship. I am not cheating though, I am single lol

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By *ickedxxxCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

The male half of a couple who was on our friends list wanted to single meet my wife. He then came clean and told us he was doing it behind his partners back. We did not like that at all. We couldn't see why he wanted to cheat he's a swinger there is no need to cheat it turns out he just liked to do it. Not sure what's worse cheating on your partner because he\she doesn't want you to meet them or cheating for the sake of cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big question

I feel that if your going to swing as a couple or single and r in a relationship it should be honest and not done behind anyone's back am I alone on my morals . What do you think ????? "

Behind back and pulling her is my favorite..,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the partner hasn't agreed then it's cheating a lot of people on here do it

not nice. X

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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?"

It's not nice being told after the event that they are married or have a partner.

Men do lie to get their own way , they are so good at it too . They can even lie on the spot . Might have to change my ways of filtering them out .

Any advice would be welcome

Very off putting for a single lady on FAB.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheating on here will happen wether people like it or not.its the same wherever you meet people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

I'm married .... Told my hubby I want a divorce ! He won't move out ! We sleep in single beds (my choice not his) I have made a choice not to tell him about this life, he never asks where I'm going, why would I want to rub it in his face !!!! What good would come of that !!!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all get older and wiser. Being honest about naughty fun is a lot easier and it's much more fun too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?

It's not nice being told after the event that they are married or have a partner.

Men do lie to get their own way , they are so good at it too . They can even lie on the spot . Might have to change my ways of filtering them out .

Any advice would be welcome

Very off putting for a single lady on FAB. "

Tell them you'll leave them with a calling card (sharp nails/teeth)

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By *ickedxxxCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?

It's not nice being told after the event that they are married or have a partner.

Men do lie to get their own way , they are so good at it too . They can even lie on the spot . Might have to change my ways of filtering

them out .

Any advice would be welcome

Very off putting for a single lady on FAB. "

That's the very reason I'm put of messaging single ladies I'm a married swinger we do play alone but how many would believe me until I get a verification ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Behind partners back is cheating and wrong.

Apart from a few posts saying 'people' , a fair few only mention men cheating yet I have come across a fair few 'single' female profile who say they are playing away and don't want hubby/partner to know.

I think a lot of it is down to the individual's circumstances of why they are doing it behind a partners back ie like the last poster.

But some do just do it for the sake if it tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Behind partners back is cheating and wrong.

I think a lot of it is down to the individual's circumstances of why they are doing it behind a partners back ie like the last poster.

But some do just do it for the sake if it tho"

And by last poster I was referring to ms hx at the time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I don't think that's cheating. You've told him you want a divorce so that is being honest and as you say you openly go out. Good luck and hope it all works out for you.

"Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I don't think that's cheating. You've told him you want a divorce so that is being honest and as you say you openly go out. Good luck and hope it all works out for you.

Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male/female tells you their partners have given them full permission to play away and many just accept that,as the truth ?

Would sooner play with someone who says their other half is unaware,at least these types are being honest about the meet lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

As i re read my posts I wasn't meaning that Ms Hx is cheating as she has asked for a divorce..I was using it to referto individual circumstances

Just wanted to clear that up before I start getting a bashing from other posters lol

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Don't judge the person .you don't know there reason. If they where getting all that wanted at home. Stands a chance they would not cheet every one has needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't judge the person .you don't know there reason. If they where getting all that wanted at home. Stands a chance they would not cheet every one has needs.

"
I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the men I meet are married so I wouldn't be having much fun if I only met ' single ' men !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing that I have learnt from this site is that even swingers cheat, which is mental!!

I will never have another relationship again because there's no way I will ever trust that person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife has problems downstairs since giving birth . So I come on sites such as this for a release with like minded people. I'm still in love with my wife but wouldn't it crush her already deflated opinion of herself if I told her I was swinging and the stigma attached to such . I'm clean and discreet and aim to stay that way. Its all about fun surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't judge the person .you don't know there reason. If they where getting all that wanted at home. Stands a chance they would not cheet every one has needs.

very easy to cheat.

much more difficult to face the reason why your missus has gone off sex and to hear that she doesnt love you/fancy you any more.

guess its better to hurt them before they hurt you, yes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One thing that I have learnt from this site is that even swingers cheat, which is mental!!

I will never have another relationship again because there's no way I will ever trust that person.

I was discussing this last night. I guess some people get off on the deceit. They must be the lowest life forms.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"One thing that I have learnt from this site is that even swingers cheat, which is mental!!

I will never have another relationship again because there's no way I will ever trust that person.

I was discussing this last night. I guess some people get off on the deceit. They must be the lowest life forms."

Well if you asked your partner if it was ok for you to cheat on them what would there answer be. If there not giving you what you need. You are going to look else ware. People should not judge Them .we all have needs and if our partner is not giving us what we want stands a chance we will look elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in my opinion there is a clear distinction between swinging and cheating. swinging is a lifestyle which myself and my partner enjoy together, and are completely honest with each other about. cheating is cheating, it involves deceiving someone and covering your tracks/sneaking around. however, while I acknowledge the difference I try not to be judgemental. I have not lived a perfect life - far from it. people have their personal reasons for doing things and to classify them all as "immoral" is a bit sanctimonioius.

The thing that really bugs me is people who decide to cheat and think Fab would be an easy place to score cos swingers have fuck all morals anyway. THAT pisses me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One thing that I have learnt from this site is that even swingers cheat, which is mental!!

I will never have another relationship again because there's no way I will ever trust that person.

I was discussing this last night. I guess some people get off on the deceit. They must be the lowest life forms.

You're missing the point here of a pair of swingers. THEY decide what their boundaries are but if one decides to go beyond those boundaries without consent, then they are being deceitful. THIS is what is low.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trouble is men and women are so different, most men are more interested in sex than women are. Quite a few women have hang ups about sex. They dont even like talking about it to their own partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think swingers have no morals, to make others happy one has to be happy in their own skin . While an attached guy may not be to everyones taste, he Is here for the same reason as seasoned swingers and new. To have fun . Personally I'm a better husband,dad , friend because I'm happy, my needs being met without having an affair or breaking up the marital home. If attached guys not a single ladies or couples cup of tea just say no thanx . I just reply no worries and happy swinging . I'm sure other attached guys are good men,husbands ,fathers etc and this just an outlet to restore their own sanity and have something just for them without hurting those they truly love .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think swingers have no morals, to make others happy one has to be happy in their own skin . While an attached guy may not be to everyones taste, he Is here for the same reason as seasoned swingers and new. To have fun . Personally I'm a better husband,dad , friend because I'm happy, my needs being met without having an affair or breaking up the marital home. If attached guys not a single ladies or couples cup of tea just say no thanx . I just reply no worries and happy swinging . I'm sure other attached guys are good men,husbands ,fathers etc and this just an outlet to restore their own sanity and have something just for them without hurting those they truly love . "

If you are cheating, do you think your wife would view you having extra marital sex here as any less deceitful/hurtful than if you were having an affair?

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Married females cheet as well. Like i have said if your not getting your needs met at home you will look elsewhere. I am not here to judge any one . yes i am cheating. And your not here to judge me or my reasons .but if your local and your on here for the same reason as i am . I for one won't be judging you. Live and let live each to there own reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly off thread but many prostitutes reckon a very high percentage of their clients,are married.

This is also cheating but a prostitute has no right to judge anyone.

In my opinion swingers have no right to judge anyone either,taking the moral high ground just makes you feel better about your own lifestyle.

The swinging lifestyle is still frowned upon by mainstream society and always will be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly off thread but many prostitutes reckon a very high percentage of their clients,are married.

This is also cheating but a prostitute has no right to judge anyone.

In my opinion swingers have no right to judge anyone either,taking the moral high ground just makes you feel better about your own lifestyle.

The swinging lifestyle is still frowned upon by mainstream society and always will be.

I'm my opinion NOBODY has the right to judge anyone. Hookers and swingers (odd that you seem to be making some sort of comparison between the two) have no less of a right than anyone else. Also you use "your lifestyle" to describe swingers. If you don't see yourself as a swinger - what the hell are you doing on a swingers site?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Proberbly more so due to the stigma attached to swinging. But personally I think sites such as these are the safest enviroment to do it in . Its not her fault she has problems downstairs so why would I want to leave her? I wouldn't entertain trying to pull on a night out, chatting up a neighbour, work colleague etc as chances are it would be found out. I've just a high sex drive and it no ones fault I choose to have extra marital activity its just fact . When all said and done there is a risk to her finding out but a price to pay to make myself happy which in turn has more positives in my own life and that of others daily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

barnsleybulldog is the most sensible poster on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should have said 'their' and not 'your' lifestyle,to avoid any confusion.

However my reasons for being on a swinging site are my business only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the ONLY people that say dont judge are those that are mixed up in deceit.

those that arent, and most likely have been a victim of it, generally are unwilling to get involved.

as people say, live and let live, but if the question is asked, then answers will be forthcoming, and if they arent what you want to hear, then its only you that can ignore or not.

lets be honest, no matter how you justify it to yourself, if you have to hide it, its wrong

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I am not going to disagree with anything any one has said . I am not here to judge or be judged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Proberbly more so due to the stigma attached to swinging. But personally I think sites such as these are the safest enviroment to do it in . Its not her fault she has problems downstairs so why would I want to leave her? I wouldn't entertain trying to pull on a night out, chatting up a neighbour, work colleague etc as chances are it would be found out. I've just a high sex drive and it no ones fault I choose to have extra marital activity its just fact . When all said and done there is a risk to her finding out but a price to pay to make myself happy which in turn has more positives in my own life and that of others daily "

so, your first post said you do it so she doesnt feel bad about herself, now you say you do it for purely selfish reasons because you want sex and she cant give it you.

thats the thing with lies, unless you keep to them, you get caught out

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

His reasons may not suit you. So why judge him each to there own reasons.

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By *aith boyMan
over a year ago

Worthing

mm cant be bothered to read all the replies as they are always on the same line.... is the deceit only against your partner?.. arent you deceiving all your family into thinking you are not into this.. how far can you be righteous.. i'd say.. not to far if you are into swinging...now i'll sit back and await the tsunami of.. people who are being deceitful, but thought they werent...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His reasons may not suit you. So why judge him each to there own reasons."

where am i judging?

im questioning the justification.

if you are going to justify your behaviour, and no one has to, but its been offered, then dont change it from one post to another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"mm cant be bothered to read all the replies as they are always on the same line.... is the deceit only against your partner?.. arent you deceiving all your family into thinking you are not into this.. how far can you be righteous.. i'd say.. not to far if you are into swinging...now i'll sit back and await the tsunami of.. people who are being deceitful, but thought they werent...lol"

of course, not telling your family about having recreational sex is the same as betraying the trust of someone that has pledged their life and love to you.

i can see how you can use it to justify your behaviours

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

werent...lol"

Are we always honest . All of the time have you ever told any little or big white lies . Best not judge others for what they do in life. After all its there life and they will live it how they want to .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure I'm reading this right, are you saying all swingers, by default are deceitful because they're not open in what they are doing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it's behind backs it's not swinging it's cheating. End. Of"

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By *aith boyMan
over a year ago

Worthing

non van.. just showing there may be a shade of grey they arent seeing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the ONLY people that say dont judge are those that are mixed up in deceit.

those that arent, and most likely have been a victim of it, generally are unwilling to get involved.

as people say, live and let live, but if the question is asked, then answers will be forthcoming, and if they arent what you want to hear, then its only you that can ignore or not.

lets be honest, no matter how you justify it to yourself, if you have to hide it, its wrong"

I'm afraid you're wrong. the ONLY people who say don't judge are non judgemental people. neither myself or my partner are "mixed up in deceit". we're swinging in an honest relationship and have never (to our knowledge) met anyone who is cheating. we don't however judge those that cheat or those that meet them.

quite frankly it's none of our business who does what or why.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"non van.. just showing there may be a shade of grey they arent seeing... "

I am not here to judge or be judged. They have there reasons . I have mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't twist my words. Its my reason , my choice . I know the consequences . And yes I agree it for my own selfish needs , I am not badgering my wife when she not well , making her feel inadequate or such like. I'm simply having fun in the way I believe has the least chance that people get hurt. Does your parents,friends,colleagues,kids know you swing ? Of course not . Attached guys not for you ? I get that , but that doesn't make me a lowlife or immoral . Walk a mile in my shoes before you become judge, jury and executioner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't check marital stAtus.. it's not my business....

my one huge double standard is I will never play with one half of a couple on here.. even with permission lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please don't twist my words. Its my reason , my choice . I know the consequences . And yes I agree it for my own selfish needs , I am not badgering my wife when she not well , making her feel inadequate or such like. I'm simply having fun in the way I believe has the least chance that people get hurt. Does your parents,friends,colleagues,kids know you swing ? Of course not . Attached guys not for you ? I get that , but that doesn't make me a lowlife or immoral . Walk a mile in my shoes before you become judge, jury and executioner

didnt call you immoral or lowlife.

and no, our families dont know about this part of our lives, BUT they also didnt choose to be with either of us, believing us to be something we arent.

being honest, i am certain i could tell my family and they wouldnt bat an eyelid.

V however, her family are religious so it wouldnt work. she would be disowned by them.

but, as said, her mother isnt sat at home waiting for her to come home cuz she thinks she is at bingo when actually she is visiting an old lady cuz she gives her things her mother cant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the ONLY people that say dont judge are those that are mixed up in deceit.

those that arent, and most likely have been a victim of it, generally are unwilling to get involved.

as people say, live and let live, but if the question is asked, then answers will be forthcoming, and if they arent what you want to hear, then its only you that can ignore or not.

lets be honest, no matter how you justify it to yourself, if you have to hide it, its wrong

quite frankly it's none of our business who does what or why. "

Those who declare themselves as non-judgemental do so at their own detriment because it means they do not have the capacity to assess situations or circumstances and therefore unable to draw sound conclusions.

What you mean is that you do not condemn.

I am happy to judge those who cheat as not worthy of getting into my knickers. Why? I simply want to meet SINGLE men (and I have a big thing about dishonest people... one may be honest in their profile but if they are cheating then their honesty is rather devalued IMO).

Those who cheat can possibly universally justify their reasons whereas others cannot. For my own purposes I really couldn't care less.

However I am happy to question someone cheating as to whether they'd really understand what the effect of cheating would have on their partner and also whether they would get hurt if their partner was to do it to them.

This has opened eyes of many cheaters in the past. What they then do is a matter for THEIR own conscience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The defence rests m'lord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The defence rests m'lord

no it doesnt.

its a very different argument, hiding things from family, and hiding things from someone that thinks you are someone you arent.

right.

if you met up with a bloke, and went to footy, snooker, car shows and so on, then you brother asked you to go golfing and you said 'no, Dave is better craic than you are, im hanging out with him'

thats the same

you are replacing something your missus SHOULD be providing you with, by no fault of her own cant obviously, with someone else, so for her, you are replacing her with a better model.

you arent replacing your mother, but your wife.

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By *ick901Man
over a year ago

glasgow

I have met ladies on here who are cheating behind there partners back and to be honest I find that more of a turn on???

I think to many people forget what swinging is supposed to be,

It's a world of fantasy where you are supposed to meet strangers and new unknown like minded people for NSA sex, many a meet if not them all I have I have not enquired about the other persons private life away from swinging, I think to many people like to make up there own rules and if someone doesn't agree they are wrong, these are also the people who's life's revolve around swinging,

It's make believe sex ??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have met ladies on here who are cheating behind there partners back and to be honest I find that more of a turn on???

I think to many people forget what swinging is supposed to be,

It's make believe sex ??????"

actually i kind of agree with you.

it is consensual

it is make believe

it is fantasy

for those involved.

for those that arent, and find out about it the hard way, it is devastating.

as i have said in a thread another time, i would much rather find out my other half was sleeping with someone she thought she was in love with, rather than the love we shared was discarded for a string of meaningless flings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I think to many people like to make up there own rules..."

BTW the thumb is to state that people should make up their own rules to suit themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just need a few hours of escapism from their daily life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have met ladies on here who are cheating behind there partners back and to be honest I find that more of a turn on???

I think to many people forget what swinging is supposed to be,

It's make believe sex ??????"

Makes sense to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The defence rests m'lord

Counterpoint to your argument. My brother and his wife had a baby 19 months ago. It was a difficult birth and she needed a lot of stitches in her vag afterwards. Sex was too painful for her until very recently.

We're a close family and both of them have spoken to me in private about it for another pair of ears to ease their worries.

They didn't have sex for 18 months as it hurt her. She did pleasure him in other ways though to maintain the intimacy. As far as I know (at least 99.9%) he hasn't cheated on her during this time as he loves and respects her. They comunicated their needs, concerns and understanding to each other in an adult manner and worked as a team to overcome their problems.

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By *ick901Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"Some people just need a few hours of escapism from their daily life"

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you telling me it ok to lie to family and friends but not your wife? Well I'm not lying to her because she hasn't asked and if she did I would more than likely tell her. Would you do the same if a family member or employer asked? Proberbly not . So I'm pleased for you up there on the moral high ground and one day if I'm really lucky I may be up there next to you , but untill then I shall be happy being me . Thanx and happy swinging .

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By *ick901Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"The defence rests m'lord

We're a close family and both of them have spoken to me in private about it for another pair of ears to ease their worries.

What exactly has any of that got to do with someone swinging???

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

And i am happy being me my profile says .Married most don't. I don't judge why should i be judged. I am here for me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you telling me it ok to lie to family and friends but not your wife? Well I'm not lying to her because she hasn't asked and if she did I would more than likely tell her. Would you do the same if a family member or employer asked? Proberbly not . So I'm pleased for you up there on the moral high ground and one day if I'm really lucky I may be up there next to you , but untill then I shall be happy being me . Thanx and happy swinging ."
its noone of an employers business what i get up to in my sex life, how absurd.

yes, i would tell a family member if they asked, why not, im not doing anything wrong or hurting anyone.

now, if i was working at another place and my gaffer asked, yes i would tell him, because im replacing him with someone else.

thats where you argument and analagies all fall down.

my parents, my siblings, my employers dont expect me to be loyal to them sexually.

they expect me to be loyal to them personally and professionally.

my other half expects me to stay within our agreed boundaries sexually, whether that be exclusive to each other, playing as a couple, or in an open relationship, no matter, as long as its discussed and agreed between us then i am doing nothing wrong. nothing at all.

would you stop going to your mothers for sunday lunch because Ethel down the road gives you yorkshire puds and your mother doesnt?

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By *ick901Man
over a year ago

glasgow

A lot of couples would rather meet an attached or married man cos they know he will be discreet and probably hassle free, oh and won't try and steel the wife lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you so bothered about defending what you do? Does it matter to you what strangers on the internet think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The defence rests m'lord

We're a close family and both of them have spoken to me in private about it for another pair of ears to ease their worries.

What exactly has any of that got to do with someone swinging??? "

its a counter argument to the 'if you cant get it at home you get it elsewhere and its ok' brigae.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Before I start I don't give two hoots what other people do with their lives, if they want to meet people for sex it is for their reasons and their conscience to live with BUT how is that the same as two consenting adults having fun with both parties knowing deceitful to their families? They are not the same thing at all.

I wouldn't be discussing my sex life with my family whatever I was doing and they don't discuss theirs with me.

It is simple really, most married couples who swing are not cheating on each other, no matter how you want to twist it to justify what married people who cheat are doing.

I also think if I was a married woman playing away I wouldn't be on here justifying what I did to people who are not significant to me and I cringe when people do it.

No one has to justify themselves to anyone.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I wouldn't be discussing my sex life with my family whatever I was doing and they don't discuss theirs with me.

It is simple really, most married couples who swing are not cheating on each other, no matter how you want to twist it to justify what married people who cheat are doing.

I also think if I was a married woman playing away I wouldn't be on here justifying what I did to people who are not significant to me and I cringe when people do it.

No one has to justify themselves to anyone.

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By *ick901Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"The defence rests m'lord

We're a close family and both of them have spoken to me in private about it for another pair of ears to ease their worries.

What exactly has any of that got to do with someone swinging???

its a counter argument to the 'if you cant get it at home you get it elsewhere and its ok' brigae."

I don't think it's anything to do with not getting it at home, swinging is a buzz from the norm it's not even the same as going out and having a one night stand with someone, swinging is a perverse choice for ones sexual kicks.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?"

Of course not: but if you're a married and sharing a bed with your wife the "property of Miss Vee" temporary tattoo on your arse and the wax burns will take some explaining!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?

They do... but Miss_tress has some amazing filters!

No married man would lie to her. I remember what her filters are.

Exactly...not if they want to remain married!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The defence rests m'lord

We're a close family and both of them have spoken to me in private about it for another pair of ears to ease their worries.

What exactly has any of that got to do with someone swinging???

its a counter argument to the 'if you cant get it at home you get it elsewhere and its ok' brigae.

perverse how?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree

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By *ick901Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"The defence rests m'lord

Counterpoint to your argument. My brother and his wife had a baby 19 months ago. It was a difficult birth and she needed a lot of stitches in her vag afterwards. Sex was too painful for her

We're a close family and both of them have spoken to me in private about it for another pair of ears to ease their worries.

What exactly has any of that got to do with someone swinging???

its a counter argument to the 'if you cant get it at home you get it elsewhere and its ok' brigae.

perverse how?"

Just trying telling someone who doesn't swing that you do and I bet they think it's perverse lol

We all have perverse preferences in someway even non swingers

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

and you believe married men are honest?

It's not nice being told after the event that they are married or have a partner.

Men do lie to get their own way , they are so good at it too . They can even lie on the spot . Might have to change my ways of filtering them out .

Any advice would be welcome

Very off putting for a single lady on FAB. "

It can be difficult: it's easier for me because (a) I don't entertain anyone who doesn't accommodate: no exceptions; (b) I don't meet in hotels/clubs, ever; and most importantly (c) I don't play nice!

The way I play married men exclude themselves.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

For a lot of us it is about not getting it at home. And hopefully finding some one seeking the same thing. A little sharing and careing and a good time for all. There are lots of people out there in a sex less marrage . And i for one will not judge anyone . Share the love.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it. "

you must have great filters then!!!! 80% of guys on here that are on as single are probably married!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't judge the person .you don't know there reason. If they where getting all that wanted at home. Stands a chance they would not cheet every one has needs.

This is not what I think is classed as true a lot of women and men do give all that is needed just some people cheat for the sake of it not because they don't get any . End of the day if ya not happy leave don't cheat .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I personally don't see the correlation between cheating on a partner and not sharing your sex life with your children.

I must be thick.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

not all people cheet just for the sake of it , some people are on here because there not getting it at home , a well fed dog doesn,t stray you only take a walk on the wild side when the feeding bowl is empty ( theres nowt in it no matter how hard you try .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Married men don't get past my filters so I don't worry about it.

you must have great filters then!!!! 80% of guys on here that are on as single are probably married!!!!!!!!!!

I do, and as they want to remain married they avoid me like the plague: win/win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not all people cheet just for the sake of it , some people are on here because there not getting it at home , a well fed dog doesn,t stray you only take a walk on the wild side when the feeding bowl is empty ( theres nowt in it no matter how hard you try .

not quite true.

people cheat for many reasons, the only similarity is the need to justify it, not to others, but yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you so bothered about defending what you do? Does it matter to you what strangers on the internet think?"
No it doesn't I just like a banter! Happy in me own skin dot com! X

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

not quite true.

people cheat for many reasons, the only similarity is the need to justify it, not to others, but yourself"

i dont have to justify my self to any one . i am who i am . most people cheet simply because there partner isnt satisfying them for one reason or another , i dont judge them and i dont expect to be judged .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally don't see the correlation between cheating on a partner and not sharing your sex life with your children.

I must be thick."
.... Now that's just getting silly . My point is get a grip , live and let live . We all got secrets of some description . We on here to have fun not to be judged . Married,single,curvy,athletic, whatever there room for us all surely ? Afterall we are all adults after sexual fulfillment in a safe enviroment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

not quite true.

people cheat for many reasons, the only similarity is the need to justify it, not to others, but yourself

Then if your not happy and can't talk about it and sort it with your partner , you should brake up end of as there is no reason that is justified to cheat end if the damage done can be catastrophic . So if your not happy for what ever reason leave as if you did love them you wouldn't cheat would you ?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not quite true.

people cheat for many reasons, the only similarity is the need to justify it, not to others, but yourself

But don't you understand, they are being open and honest (to everyone apart from the person they once claimed was the most important person in their life) about being married and looking to shag other people on the sly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big question

I feel that if your going to swing as a couple or single and r in a relationship it should be honest and not done behind anyone's back am I alone on my morals . What do you think ????? "

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

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By *rsFine-MrBallsCouple
over a year ago

markinch

"I've met "single" women on here who I had my suspicions of but I didn't judge them I just figure people have there own reasons and needs.. It didn't bother me. Just been honest"

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Im married

My wife knows Im on here

She found here fwb on here (before I knew about fab)

We always let the other know everything.

Never behind each others backs, will only lead to heartache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

its open for interpretation.

do you take everything in religion so literally?

of course you dont.

forsaking all others doesnt have to be physical, it can be emotional, and no matter what we do together with others, emotionally we DO forsake all others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

its open for interpretation.

do you take everything in religion so literally?

of course you dont.

forsaking all others doesnt have to be physical, it can be emotional, and no matter what we do together with others, emotionally we DO forsake all others."

If you look carefully at the poster's wording "keeping your self only unto him", it's just to stop the wife straying

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By *rjandmrskCouple
over a year ago

West Dunbartonshire

if other half dosnt know or dosnt want it to happen and it does then that cheating

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

All people judge, you won't stop that. You are doing it right now in your post by telling married couples who share this life style together that they are doing something wrong in their relationship , although I think it is more just to try and justify what you do

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By *appyfuckerMan
over a year ago

in a happy place north wales coast

id met a cpl and had fun a week later recived a message of the lady asking to meet without her hubby knowing i refused then got blocked am i stupid or honest? as i would have met them again as it was great fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't read the whole thread as it's rather long but, I am a married woman. I don't put it on my profile but I do tell guys after a couple of messages. I am "cheating" on my husband. I have my reasons for this. 95% of the guys that message me are also married!! I read a lot about how wrong it is and the moral high ground some members take here. I will continue to use the site in the way that it suits me and I am sure all of you will too. I will not feel bad about using the site this way and others judgment will not change my behavior either. We all have our reasons and preferences and every right to exercise them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haven't read the whole thread as it's rather long but, I am a married woman. I don't put it on my profile but I do tell guys after a couple of messages. I am "cheating" on my husband. I have my reasons for this. 95% of the guys that message me are also married!! I read a lot about how wrong it is and the moral high ground some members take here. I will continue to use the site in the way that it suits me and I am sure all of you will too. I will not feel bad about using the site this way and others judgment will not change my behavior either. We all have our reasons and preferences and every right to exercise them x"

and no one is stopping anyone doing anything.

however, when the question is asked, you cant expect everyone with fervant views on it to say ah well, never mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"cheat fright in front of them...see how well that goes............."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are many forms of Hedonism. You seem to ascribe to folk hedonism whereby you get your pleasure irrespective of the future consequences to yourself or anyone else.

Personally I'd rather have empathy and pursue pleasure without causing pain to myself or others at any juncture (and that involves those not in the actual equation).

I do wish some members would stop assuming swingers/members here should have one moral code or one philosophical attitude to the pursuit of pleasure.

It is, however, enlightening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because, as much fun as you can be, and as deiscreet as some say they are, we have no desire to have some woman on our doorstep, with 2 crying kids, screaming that we have ruined their lives.

erm..no thanks very much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

Some maybe in a committed relationship/marriage & love the person they are with but there might be something missing int he bedroom that they like or want but the other half isn't willing to do. So if they choose to do it here then that also is their choice. I know of some on here that are attached and play alone, it is not for me to judge it is their choice & risk. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew someone a while back who lost his wife as he was 'swinging' behind her back and whilst she was pregnant too.

It's a shame that some people have no morals. I would never cheat on a partner, in any capacity. I would also never sleep with anyone if I knew they were cheating themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because, as much fun as you can be, and as deiscreet as some say they are, we have no desire to have some woman on our doorstep, with 2 crying kids, screaming that we have ruined their lives.

erm..no thanks very much"

If some woman came to me screaming that I'd ruined her life I'd tell her to sod off and go scream at her husband instead!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because, as much fun as you can be, and as deiscreet as some say they are, we have no desire to have some woman on our doorstep, with 2 crying kids, screaming that we have ruined their lives.

erm..no thanks very much"

You could say she ruined her own life by having two kids with the wrong man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because, as much fun as you can be, and as deiscreet as some say they are, we have no desire to have some woman on our doorstep, with 2 crying kids, screaming that we have ruined their lives.

erm..no thanks very much

You could say she ruined her own life by having two kids with the wrong man.

ah yes, you mean the man she loves

the one she thinks is perfect

the one that loves her back

the one that never hassles her for sex because she is so busy with the house/work/kids as he is so good

yes, i agree. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because, as much fun as you can be, and as deiscreet as some say they are, we have no desire to have some woman on our doorstep, with 2 crying kids, screaming that we have ruined their lives.

erm..no thanks very much

You could say she ruined her own life by having two kids with the wrong man.

So it's the wife's fault that her husband is a lying cheat... Hmmm

I know it was tongue in cheek but there's also the saying of many a true word said in jest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because, as much fun as you can be, and as deiscreet as some say they are, we have no desire to have some woman on our doorstep, with 2 crying kids, screaming that we have ruined their lives.

erm..no thanks very much

You could say she ruined her own life by having two kids with the wrong man.

ah yes, you mean the man she loves

the one she thinks is perfect

the one that loves her back

the one that never hassles her for sex because she is so busy with the house/work/kids as he is so good

yes, i agree. lol

No womans that daft are they.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

erm..no thanks very much

You could say she ruined her own life by having two kids with the wrong man.

ah yes, you mean the man she loves

the one she thinks is perfect

the one that loves her back

the one that never hassles her for sex because she is so busy with the house/work/kids as he is so good

yes, i agree. lol

No womans that daft are they.

well, we know a guy that is part of a swinging couple (the female being one of the wifes best friends) and they meet when he is at work (taxi driver) so yes, people can be very deceiving and get away with a lot, especially when they have someone to back up their lies to the missus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I knew someone a while back who lost his wife as he was 'swinging' behind her back and whilst she was pregnant too.

It's a shame that some people have no morals. I would never cheat on a partner, in any capacity. I would also never sleep with anyone if I knew they were cheating themselves."

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

its open for interpretation.

do you take everything in religion so literally?

of course you dont.

forsaking all others doesnt have to be physical, it can be emotional, and no

matter what we do together with others, emotionally we DO forsake all

others."

Then if your forsaking all others what are you doing on here. My gess is same as the rest of us. Swinging or cheating don't judge your life is not my life.may be if it was you would be doing the same as me. At least i am up front

about it. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

its open for interpretation.

do you take everything in religion so literally?

of course you dont.

forsaking all others doesnt have to be physical, it can be emotional, and no

matter what we do together with others, emotionally we DO forsake all

others.

about it. .

You're being up front and honest about it... so your wife does know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Married females cheet as well. Like i have said if your not getting your needs met at home you will look elsewhere. I am not here to judge any one . yes i am cheating. And your not here to judge me or my reasons .but if your local and your on here for the same reason as i am . I for one won't be judging you. Live and let live each to there own reasons.

if you wanna carry on cheating then get a divorce, you don't deserve to be married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so you'd rather keep cheating than paying the price and getting a divorce? That's not fair on your wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are making her feel inadequate by cheating and lying. My parents, sisters and friends know I swing and they couldn't give a toss, I'm a single woman and if I was to get into a relationship I would close my account down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm married and cheating. Been married for years, nothing in the bedroom department, not in love but have found since being here and have met guys that I miss the conversation, the laughs, and the physical contact I used to have with my oh and have recently discovered it is not possible to regain that. I'm not going to apologize for myself and if people want to have a go then it is a free country

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no difference between sexes, when it comes to cheating, swinging is about sexual gratification, and in some cases can keep a dead marriage lingering, and in some cases it just kills a lingering marriage, so it has to be a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is cheating, of course it is, but being honest to the other fab members right from the outset is my tack! Everyone can have a view, people say to me politely no married men and all go our separate ways....some of course get their diaries out!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HONEST..LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's out and out cheating. if your not happy in your relationship then do something about it don't cheat and use it for justification. If your gonna swing be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always taken aback at the vitriol spewed against fabbers who are also cheating. Inwould assume this to be a place where people are less judgemental and more open minded. To those who suggest 'get a divorce' ...alas, if only it was that simple! Once children and finances come into it divorce is not something many even consider but find their own outlet to maintain some happiness.

In short; if you don't approve of married cheating swingers just don't meet them! I always tell people I am so they can make that choice.

Live and let live

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm always taken aback at the vitriol spewed against fabbers who are also cheating. Inwould assume this to be a place where people are less judgemental and more open minded. To those who suggest 'get a divorce' ...alas, if only it was that simple! Once children and finances come into it divorce is not something many even consider but find their own outlet to maintain some happiness.

In short; if you don't approve of married cheating swingers just don't meet them! I always tell people I am so they can make that choice.

Live and let live

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

In short; if you don't approve of married cheating swingers just don't meet them! I always tell people I am so they can make that choice.

Live and let live

on the flip side... a lot of people who are cheating are basically asking other people to leave the very morals they live by at the door......

sometime it is the justifications used by people that wind up as much as the act itself......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 100% honest with my hubby about my swinging and we are much stronger for it. Liars will always get found out in the end, I work in tesco and have seen many "single" men and women come in with there partners and have message me later "please don't tell anyone on here" was once offered £50 not to tell, I obviously declined but it was very funny time naughty people karma will out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In short; if you don't approve of married cheating swingers just don't meet them! I always tell people I am so they can make that choice.

Live and let live

on the flip side... a lot of people who are cheating are basically asking other people to leave the very morals they live by at the door......

sometime it is the justifications used by people that wind up as much as the act itself......"

I'm sure to other people my choices are wrong but I have my reasons as does anyone who cheats. A few years ago I would have been on the other side of this argument but experience has now taught me otherwise. You can only ever understand it once you find yourself in the same situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm married and cheating. Been married for years, nothing in the bedroom department, not in love but have found since being here and have met guys that I miss the conversation, the laughs, and the physical contact I used to have with my oh and have recently discovered it is not possible to regain that. I'm not going to apologize for myself and if people want to have a go then it is a free country "

well get a divorce then if you don't love him and cheating!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved"

I would be interested if this is your answer in about ten years when you've had some more life experience and understand more how complex relationships and lives can become...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved

I would be interested if this is your answer in about ten years when you've had some more life experience and understand more how complex relationships and lives can become..."

I have had experience thank you, just because I'm young you think I'm naive but I know what its like to be cheated on without knowing and it hurts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big question

I feel that if your going to swing as a couple or single and r in a relationship it should be honest and not done behind anyone's back am I alone on my morals . What do you think ????? "

Cheating is just that,some folk do not have Morals tho!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved

I would be interested if this is your answer in about ten years when you've had some more life experience and understand more how complex relationships and lives can become...

I have had experience thank you, just because I'm young you think I'm naive but I know what its like to be cheated on without knowing and it hurts"

I hear what you're saying. I think too often we forget how it must feel for the other person because we're focusing on justifying it to ourselves. I'm sorry to hear about your experience but I don't think its fair to judge others harshly as many will have their reasons. If I could divorce my husband I honestly would. It just isn't an option right now and this place is giving me some happiness so it's crap to read posts like this that are so judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved

I would be interested if this is your answer in about ten years when you've had some more life experience and understand more how complex relationships and lives can become..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/13 18:42:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The question is are you married and did you not here the bit about forsaking all there and keeping your self only unto him. . Don't judge.

its open for interpretation.

do you take everything in religion so literally?

of course you dont.

forsaking all others doesnt have to be physical, it can be emotional, and no

matter what we do together with others, emotionally we DO forsake all

others.

about it. .

are you deliberately not reading what is typed so you can keep with your narrow justifications of wrongdoing?

IF the bible were to be taken literally, by YOU because YOU brought it up, then you would be doing even worse than i/we because you are not foresaking all others AND not being true to your other vows you have rubbished by your course of action.

i said the wording of the marriage vows can be taken however you like them to be taken.

foresaking all others is done, by both of us, because we do not love anyone else.

we do not get emotionally attached to anyone else.

and we dont have FULL sex with anyone else either, for that matter, so no, actually, we arent on here for the same as everyone else, and everyone else, arent all on here for the same thing as each other either.

you are fighting a losing battle my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved

I would be interested if this is your answer in about ten years when you've had some more life experience and understand more how complex relationships and lives can become...

I have had experience thank you, just because I'm young you think I'm naive but I know what its like to be cheated on without knowing and it hurts

I was cheated on by my fiance and then a boyfriend who was sleeping with a so called friend and she was cheating on her boyfriend as well :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In short; if you don't approve of married cheating swingers just don't meet them! I always tell people I am so they can make that choice.

Live and let live

absolutely agree with you, and we have never messaged someone moaning about them cheating, however, if the question is asked in an open forum then actual opinions will be given, to the posters usual discontent.

if people that are cheating on partners dont want to be vilified by people, then dont post asking about it in an open forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

Out of interest, why don't you move out instead ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not always that cut and dry !!!!

Out of interest, why don't you move out instead ? "

yes this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of interest, why don't you move out instead ?

yes this

its cake and eating it.

stay at home with the other half, live for half the cost of living on your own.

that really can be the only reason not to leave someone you dont love.

admittedly with kids its difficult, but it still isnt healthy for them to be in a non loving environment.

and yes, i have been cheated on too, and it hurts like hell.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

maintain some happiness.

In short; if you don't approve of married cheating swingers just don't meet them! I always tell people I am so they can make that choice.

Live and let live

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of interest, why don't you move out instead ?

yes this

its cake and eating it.

stay at home with the other half, live for half the cost of living on your own.

that really can be the only reason not to leave someone you dont love.

admittedly with kids its difficult, but it still isnt healthy for them to be in a non loving environment.

and yes, i have been cheated on too, and it hurts like hell."

It's not always 'having your cake'. There are MANY different reasons why people can't leave. Many different reasons behind situations that other people can't possibly know.

If people could leave, they would. All very well for some people to say 'oh well leave then'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have our own choices & preferences. Also we all have our own reasons for being on here, who are we to judge.

they obviously don't love them if they're on this site, cheating, just get a divorce, problem solved

I would be interested if this is your answer in about ten years when you've had some more life experience and understand more how complex relationships and lives can become...

I have had experience thank you, just because I'm young you think I'm naive but I know what its like to be cheated on without knowing and it hurts

I was cheated on by my fiance and then a boyfriend who was sleeping with a so called friend and she was cheating on her boyfriend as well :/"

Admittedly what happened to you wasn't nice but when you experience long term marriage, I hope it doesn't stagnate like mine

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Some people will always judge others what for what they do or don't do .why should they leave. There are a lot of people on here that are cheating for one reason or another its alright being judgmental when they don't know that person . I can live with that. Like most on here i don't judge others and never would .

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

So you think that fulfilling your own needs (remember the forsaking all others bit?) won't make your wife feel inadequate or crush her when she finds out?

How will the children take it?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I just stay clear!!!!!

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

"I just stay clear!!!!!

how many messages before a thread closes again?

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"So you think that fulfilling your own needs (remember the forsaking all others bit?) won't make your wife feel inadequate or crush her when she finds out?

How will the children take it?"

Well maybe if she got her knickers of once in a wiles we might have some thing worth saving there's to in a marrage not one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you think that fulfilling your own needs (remember the forsaking all others bit?) won't make your wife feel inadequate or crush her when she finds out?

How will the children take it?

Well maybe if she got her knickers of once in a wiles we might have some thing worth saving there's to in a marrage not one

ever asked her why she doesnt want to have sex with you, tom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been cheated on.. I've cheated.. and been the other woman.. it's not my business who or what.. and I just needed sex so got it.

I think that there are so many reasons people may cheat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been cheated on.. I've cheated.. and been the other woman.. it's not my business who or what.. and I just needed sex so got it.

I think that there are so many reasons people may cheat "

and yet, only 1 thats true.

selfish gratification

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Some people you can talk to others you can't. Can't talk to mine as she just doesn't talk about things like that.

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