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swing inc bdsm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A question, do you think both swing and bdsm can be enjoyed together or are they exclusive? The reason I ask is that we quite often get looked down on because of our kinks. We love being sexual and we love kink, is that so very wrong?

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

Nope,

both mix rather well, as long as you are open and honest.

I dont do to much with kink on here as I need more trust for my kink.

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

They can mix, we do. We are bdsm first. It does make finding the "right" people on here a little harder but there's nothing wrong with putting in more effort to something.

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By *hoenix CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northallerton

Some bdsm events are strictly non sexual, but I believe that it is inherently linked to sex. Everyones dynamic is different, if you want to do bdsm and sex together - go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can mix really well but probably not for one off meets as i certainly want that level of trust for the kink side.

Some kinksters look down on swingers and some swingers on kinksters. If I find any of those I just steer well clear. You have fun as you want to. Enjoy

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By *obbyCock36Man
over a year ago

Bournemouth

no problem with kinks as far as I'm concerned, in fact if you're happy to enjoy bsdm is say the other people are loosing out!

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

I suggest you tell people to collect their P155 OFFer on the way out the door.

Sure there are people who suck their teeth, mutter and criticise but there are also those who are fascinated or aroused by our kink and their initial shy approaches have turned in to wanton abandon.

There are some elements of BDSM that we keep away from those we know would not understand it but we found that BDSMers were occasionally intolerant of our mixing of sex and kink as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The two definitely mix and I enjoy mixing the two for my meets. It's always interesting to see how some people view others preferences in a different light.

I have been on BDSM sites where they consider me to be some sort of low life for enjoying swinging. A few (not all) in the BDSM community consider themselves to be intellectually superior because of the mindset you need (in their opinion) to understand and enjoy BDSM.

In reverse some swingers wont even chat to me because in some of my pictures I wear PVC and Latex. The response from one lady in a couple being "WTF are you wearing".

I'm happy to enjoy whatever scenarios stimulate the other parties involved.

Eddie

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have come across this many times over the years and I already knew the answer because its a simple one. Horses for courses etc etc. I just wish people would not ask questions and then look on you like some kind of physcotic maniac when you give them an honest answer! But as has been said a lot of bdsmers do just the same thing. It tuely is a complicated world..lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

very interested to read this thread as people who have an interest in BDSM but are complete novices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can mix and I enjoy dabbling in both. It may not be for everyone, and admittedly there does need to be a certain level of trust for some kinkier acts but great fun can be had when you combine the two and use common sense too...I'd just advise against letting someone tie you up on a first meet in case they rob you blind whilst you're helpless!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you find the right one to share your kinks with and trust... then yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very odd that people would look down on you for being kinky..bit like saying I love curry but dislike chillie!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount.."

I couldn't agree more with your last statement, but its incredible how difficult some find it.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

We have never really met anyone from here regularly enough to trust them enough to share our Kink.

I think we would if we met that kind of person/persons it's just not happened up to now.

D let it slip once in a club that she was my submissive to a guy, to which he promptly ordered her to lean against the bar with her legs spread. That didn't really go the way he expected and the lack of understanding demonstrated made us wary of being so free with information like that in the future.

You never know though. Would be so much fun if it did happen!

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount..

I couldn't agree more with your last statement, but its incredible how difficult some find it."

That's always surprised us aswell even the none kinky. So many seem to struggle with open, honest, communication.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

As ever it all depends on the players and what you look for in a meet or meets or play partner.

Totally agree good, fun, Bdsm play requires a level of trust which cannot be established with one meet. We have our kink but happy to just play with others too, as always it is all about the fun!

Master

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

We've only meet one guy off fabs who truly knew and understood mild bdsm and my love of bondage. I find nothing more horny than to be tied up and then used and abused which he (and my hubby) did expertly.

We both understand that not everyone can or will find that kind of thing as exciting as us so we very rarely indulge outside of our own circle of friends. When we meet 'normal' couples we never get the chains, clamps and toys out for fear of making them scream in terror

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount..

I couldn't agree more with your last statement, but its incredible how difficult some find it.

That's always surprised us aswell even the none kinky. So many seem to struggle with open, honest, communication."

I meant generally .

We were talking about this only last night, some people find it difficult to express their sexual fantasies and preferences.....it can be difficult we're not brought up to be open about such things and there's an element of shame to it....but how on earth can you get what you want from a site such as this if you can't say truthfully what it is that you're after.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I have learnt from experience not to mix the two on here!

Whilst I met my regular friend on here (was a lucky break!)

Have leant the hard way, to keep it separate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are elistest idiots on each scene that will sneer at people on the opposite side of the fence.

A lot of our friends cross over between the 2 scenes and while we don't always encompass kink play, we do prefer group fun with those who understand kink.

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk


"both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount..

I couldn't agree more with your last statement, but its incredible how difficult some find it.

That's always surprised us aswell even the none kinky. So many seem to struggle with open, honest, communication."

but that's the best way to progress surely...?

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh


"both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount..

I couldn't agree more with your last statement, but its incredible how difficult some find it.

That's always surprised us aswell even the none kinky. So many seem to struggle with open, honest, communication.

I meant generally .

We were talking about this only last night, some people find it difficult to express their sexual fantasies and preferences.....it can be difficult we're not brought up to be open about such things and there's an element of shame to it....but how on earth can you get what you want from a site such as this if you can't say truthfully what it is that you're after. "

Other than the delicious shame of Ruby submitting to me in front of others, why is it shameful? There are,of course, those i would not share things with anymore than I would share any intimate details with but absolutely no shame in being clear about what I enjoy and enjoying it.

Master

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am constantly surprised (pleasantly!) by the number of people I meet here who enjoy mixing a little kink into their play. It tends to get more exciting when the boundaries are blurred

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"both can work rather well..

equally less so..

communication as ever is paramount..

I couldn't agree more with your last statement, but its incredible how difficult some find it.

That's always surprised us aswell even the none kinky. So many seem to struggle with open, honest, communication.

I meant generally .

We were talking about this only last night, some people find it difficult to express their sexual fantasies and preferences.....it can be difficult we're not brought up to be open about such things and there's an element of shame to it....but how on earth can you get what you want from a site such as this if you can't say truthfully what it is that you're after.

Other than the delicious shame of Ruby submitting to me in front of others, why is it shameful? There are,of course, those i would not share things with anymore than I would share any intimate details with but absolutely no shame in being clear about what I enjoy and enjoying it.

Master"

I wasn't clear I meant we're brought up to feel an element of shame when talking about sexual matters. I feel no shame about my fantasies and preferences and I don't think others should either within legal and consensual bounds.

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By *nttake2Couple
over a year ago

South

dont over think it, be clear, and play to a level you are ok with. (then push that limit!)

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