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Advice please

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'm a newbie. Have had meets with 3 couples and had no problems with connecting and playing.

Thing is. I've been to Chameleons 2 times now (with a couple of female friends) & I don't seem to do anything except with my other half. Ok I'm a little fussy in that I won't play with smokers, men of color, shorter than me guys, fair haired guys, that's my preference. I won't fuck a guy I wouldn't want to date. And I don't intend to change that,

I did see one bloke an thought mmmm! He stroked my back as we did a tour to remind us of the layout & I did say we were just having a quick wander. Never saw him again, guess someone else had fun.

Think I may come across as a little uninterested but I'm not. I guess I'm still in awe of all the bare bums n bits

Any suggestions or similar experiences?

Julie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a few glasses of wine and chill.

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Have a few glasses of wine and chill."

I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because you go to a club, doesn't mean you have to have sex. If there's no-one there you fancy there's not much you can do about it. Just enjoy watching and being there?

x

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

There were a few I thought mmmm too. Think maybe because I'm so busy chatting with the girls I don't talk or make contact with people like I might do if alone I guess

Julie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with being fussy and nothing worse than playing for the sake of it. But if you are feeling that you are missing out then maybe look at those standards? Do they need to be of a datable standard? We play with people we find attractive and get on with. But in a club situation we are very much interested in how a couple gel together as much as how good they look and it is more often attitude or behaviour that is a deal breaker rather than looks. Looks wise as long as we don't find them unattractive we may be interested in play, finding someone physically attractive enough to play with (remembering what I've just said about behaviour) is not the same as finding someone attractive enough to date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are a totally different ball game .... unlike meeting 1 to 1 .

If you go with an expectation , more often than not you will come away somewhat dissspointed .

As some have said , your selection criteria does restrict your opportunities ... as does the fact that you are not bi .

So many guys use clubs as an alternative to a vanilla night out , and most wouldn't struggle to pull on a normal night . So they look for something different at a club - group fun being a major factor .

Perhaps the club scene isn't for you on a play level ? Social can be fun too so enjoy that and the right one may turn up !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing wrong with being fussy and nothing worse than playing for the sake of it. But if you are feeling that you are missing out then maybe look at those standards? Do they need to be of a datable standard? We play with people we find attractive and get on with. But in a club situation we are very much interested in how a couple gel together as much as how good they look and it is more often attitude or behaviour that is a deal breaker rather than looks. Looks wise as long as we don't find them unattractive we may be interested in play, finding someone physically attractive enough to play with (remembering what I've just said about behaviour) is not the same as finding someone attractive enough to date. "

My standards are different for dating and fucking. They start off the same though. Dating needs that mental connection (chemistry and compatibility), "just" fucking accepts there are elements missing but my libido is high.

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I don't fuck based on looks. When it comes to playing I just need a bit of a cheeky lad.

I am going by my dating standard. I don't date blond or smokers or none white guys as they don't usually float my boat.

Think maybe I expect too much. I want a guy to talk to me (not mega cono, hi how and who are you etc) before groping me boobs & nibbling my neck. New approach next time. You gotta be in it to win it

Julie x

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