FabSwingers.com forum: no social

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i am getting really pissed off now with blokes wanting to meet,but thinking a social means they are definately on for fun at the end of the eve.even had a bloke expecting to take me back to his place 10 miles away.i dont drive,so what if it went pear shaped at his home???

a social for me is to chat and see if we click.hopefully we will of chosen each other wisely and will arrange a play meet the next time.but there are no garentees,i mean you really dont know till you meet and chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boyish enthusiasm maybe?

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Why not communicate this frustration with THEM?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

full balls = empty head.

Its a good idea to keep a pair of roller skates in your handbag, 10 miles wouldn't be a problem? would it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not communicate this frustration with THEM?"

i do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why not communicate this frustration with THEM?"

Stop being so bloody logical. It's offputting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to arrange socials aswell a lot of people do think a social = play which can be a little awkward, but then saying that if everything is great we get on the spark is there then I am happy to play I don't see the point in going home to arrange a play meet when you were both there and ready to play at that time seems a little pointless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer I agree there should be no expectations from a social ! But personally if I fancy him I have to have a little taste of what's on offer ! Just to make sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"full balls = empty head.

Its a good idea to keep a pair of roller skates in your handbag, 10 miles wouldn't be a problem? would it?"

Jesus !!! It would for me ! I would spend more time on my arse than on my feet !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yet another male bashing thread how original. Communication is the simple answer make it clear that no play will take place after a social,no matter how well it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet for a coffee first. They know this. If they are at all bothered by this I just stop all contact. If they can't respect my simple request I won't be meeting them at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets be honest, if I agree to meet for a drink, I have to get washed, dressed, use petrol that costs money and actually get there, of course I would expect a shag !

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I always meet for a coffee first. They know this. If they are at all bothered by this I just stop all contact. If they can't respect my simple request I won't be meeting them at all. "

that seems a very sensible approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had social meets and we have both ageed we are meeting for a drink and chat.

I have had social meets and we have both agreed we are meeting for a drink and chat and if we both agree more is possible.

Communication is key I think it's not men that are the problem it's your choice of man

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

I dont think it is male bashing at all. The op is just putting her point across...it is a forum! I am finding the exact same thing, a lot of men are not prepared to meet for a social. For me its not just about fancying the person in the photo, its about spark and chemistry, you need to be face to face for that! I don't think that is an unreasonable request, after all, this is a sex site where both parties have to be in agreement, its not a guaranteed shag site or a free brothel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always meet for a coffee first. They know this. If they are at all bothered by this I just stop all contact. If they can't respect my simple request I won't be meeting them at all.

that seems a very sensible approach.

Works for me too

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

But some of the men she claims to have met DID meet for the social. They just expected fun afterwards. Here's a handy actionplan to save further complaints:

1) State clearly during "maill phase that first meet is STRICTLY social, no exceptions or expectations.

2) Ensure step 1 is understood and agreed to

3) Meet for social

4) If he takes your fancy and makes your loins damp there and then, you can exercise your right to change your mind and play on first meet.

5) In absence of step 4, you both go to your respective homes.

The end.

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

"It isn't?

Sorry to burst ya bubble! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yet another male bashing thread how original. Communication is the simple answer make it clear that no play will take place after a social,no matter how well it goes.

However the difficulty is if they don't mention it in a message as I have said its a social meet but still the guy on Monday thought all single females wanted sex and would be quite happy for a taster of what he was going to get, never mind the fact that there has to be a mutual attraction and I soooo didn't fancy him

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If you only want a social meet to see if you get on enough for another meet and you have told them this then it isn't your fault if they think they may get more, they are just trying their hand.

What is interesting is the " end of the night" comment....for me, if we did socials it would be meeting for coffee for an hour , yours sounded like a night out?

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

we quite often meet ppl at night for socials not every one can get away in the day for a coffee. we do also at times have a really great laugh with the ppl we meet and make a full night of the social still doesn't mean there going to get anything more than just that. but yes do also agree you will get those trying there hand in and hoping for a little more than was explained to them not always just single men either we have met couples just the same. if this does happen our opinion for what it is worth is to say thank you for tonight and leave xxxxxxxxxx

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By *appyfuckerMan
over a year ago

in a happy place north wales coast

coffee n chat even if its in a cafe you can get to what they like for afters if all goes well if not they dont know where you live to pester you

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

We dont so much as meet for a "social"..

We meet in public place for quick drink/chat!

If all ok, fun that evening...No making arrangements for another night!

If we not all happy, we simply thank them for meeting and move on....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There now way im putting my mankini on getting my barry white cd and candles,lube and ruber fist ready if when i meet someone here im not getting sex.we can talk and have a coffee afterwards.some people are just tight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do social meet, full stop!

Hence it takes a long time for me to get to know someone before I would agree to meet him for fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't do socials

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

Personally, if I was told I was meeting purely for a social and absolutely no chance of play afterwards I'd tell the person concerned to forget it.

If I was told we were meeting for a social to merely confirm the attraction via messages/texts and/or phone conversations was still there once we met in person and play would commence soon after then I'd attend.

I'm here to shag, not date.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"We dont so much as meet for a "social"..

We meet in public place for quick drink/chat!

If all ok, fun that evening...No making arrangements for another night!

If we not all happy, we simply thank them for meeting and move on...."

^^^^ this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, if I was told I was meeting purely for a social and absolutely no chance of play afterwards I'd tell the person concerned to forget it.

I'm here to shag, not date."

Unfortunately playing straight from a social isn't always possible and I don't see the social meet as a date as it isn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't do social meet, full stop!

Hence it takes a long time for me to get to know someone before I would agree to meet him for fun.

I would worry that they would get fed up waiting as I feel due to my two jobs they already have to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm totally honest and I may get a bashing for this but

If I met for a coffee and a chat I would not expect nothing else

If I met and we spent a full night out drinking and getting on well I maybe would expect something even if it was just a kiss . And reading the ops thread it sounds like a was a full night . Sorry just been honest

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

"Personally, if I was told I was meeting purely for a social and absolutely no chance of play afterwards I'd tell the person concerned to forget it.

I'm here to shag, not date.

Unfortunately playing straight from a social isn't always possible and I don't see the social meet as a date as it isn't"

It would be ascertained if playing after the social were possible. If it wasn't then I'd ask to arrange a time and date when it was. If it were not possible then I'd move on.

Maybe a social is not a 'date' in the conventional sense but it's close enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, if I was told I was meeting purely for a social and absolutely no chance of play afterwards I'd tell the person concerned to forget it.

I'm here to shag, not date."

I'm not here to date either. Coffee for me is a safety thing.

I still respect your way too though.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Be very clear and open.

You can't lose.

Tell them:

"I always meet for a social first. If you suggest otherwise, I will cancel the lot."

Then follow through with it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally, if I was told I was meeting purely for a social and absolutely no chance of play afterwards I'd tell the person concerned to forget it.

I'm here to shag, not date.

Unfortunately playing straight from a social isn't always possible and I don't see the social meet as a date as it isn't"

no,it isnt always possible to play straight from a social.i cant accom,so a hotel would be a choice.even then you may not get a room there and then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yer I agree there should be no expectations from a social ! But personally if I fancy him I have to have a little taste of what's on offer ! Just to make sure

"
me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be ascertained if playing after the social were possible."

"If...were"

Can't help it - that turns my knees into jelly.

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Communication is two way and every story has two sides. I imagine, in reality, you don't explain fully what a "social meet" means to YOU, hence potential confusion.

Instead of complaining, next time you want a social meet, simply use a line like "we will not be playing at all on this date".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm totally honest and I may get a bashing for this but

If I met for a coffee and a chat I would not expect nothing else

"
you are a nice guy, but ive gone on socials, just thinking yes just coffee and a chat and well that didn't work ........ So, I will if you will

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

"If I'm totally honest and I may get a bashing for this but

If I met for a coffee and a chat I would not expect nothing else

We agree with you. A social meet, if you really want one, should not be a night of entertainment and drinking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i am getting really pissed off now with blokes wanting to meet,but thinking a social means they are definately on for fun at the end of the eve.even had a bloke expecting to take me back to his place 10 miles away.i dont drive,so what if it went pear shaped at his home???

by the end of the eve,was meant as in a meet for usually 8.00/8.30 as many ppl work and have to get home fed and cleaned up.lol.by the time ppl have had a cpl of drinks and a(hopefully) good time,it can easily be 10pm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Communication is two way and every story has two sides. I imagine, in reality, you don't explain fully what a "social meet" means to YOU, hence potential confusion.

Instead of complaining, next time you want a social meet, simply use a line like "we will not be playing at all on this date"."

i do have it written in my profile that i dont play on first meet.they seem to miss reading that bit

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

"It would be ascertained if playing after the social were possible.

"If...were"

Can't help it - that turns my knees into jelly.

Sorry, but you've lost me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't do social meet, full stop!

Hence it takes a long time for me to get to know someone before I would agree to meet him for fun.

I would worry that they would get fed up waiting as I feel due to my two jobs they already have to"

To me, it is their loss if they find me too much hard work.

I am not going to change my selection process, or frequency of meeting, just to suit another person!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't do social meet, full stop!

Hence it takes a long time for me to get to know someone before I would agree to meet him for fun.

I would worry that they would get fed up waiting as I feel due to my two jobs they already have to

To me, it is their loss if they find me too much hard work.

I am not going to change my selection process, or frequency of meeting, just to suit another person!

thankyou for saying.i have been given a bit of stick for my post.but i am not changing my ways either.xxx

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

As long as you've made it clear it is a social meet and you wont play then it's just that.

If a guy can't take it he will either not meet or chance his luck at playing but in the end no means no and it is your choice. If it goes pear shaped at a social then you could walk away and just block them from future contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't do social meet, full stop!

Hence it takes a long time for me to get to know someone before I would agree to meet him for fun.

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a Man personality don't bother me! I just look for sex ! Looks are not that important to me either ! And most guys here would agree but won't admit in forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm totally honest and I may get a bashing for this but

If I met for a coffee and a chat I would not expect nothing else

If I met and we spent a full night out drinking and getting on well I maybe would expect some things even if it was just a kiss . And reading the ops thread it sounds like a was a full night . Sorry just been honest

you are a nice guy, but ive gone on socials, just thinking yes just coffee and a chat and well that didn't work ........ So, I will if you will

"
Any time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would rather spend quality time chatting here and later by phone, social meets leave me cold. I take ages to decide, I chatted to one guy for at least 10 minutes, before he was on his way round....

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

I've always approached social meets with a totally open mind, not expecting any particular outcome, and enjoying them for what they are , and not for what they might lead to, although many have led to enjoyable outcomes both on the same evening or later, which is fine.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I've always approached social meets with a totally open mind, not expecting any particular outcome, and enjoying them for what they are , and not for what they might lead to, although many have led to enjoyable outcomes both on the same evening or later, which is fine. "

This ^^^^^^^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, if I was told I was meeting purely for a social and absolutely no chance of play afterwards I'd tell the person concerned to forget it.

I'm here to shag, not date.

Unfortunately playing straight from a social isn't always possible and I don't see the social meet as a date as it isn't

It would be ascertained if playing after the social were possible. If it wasn't then I'd ask to arrange a time and date when it was. If it were not possible then I'd move on.

Maybe a social is not a 'date' in the conventional sense but it's close enough

Problem is that I sometimes meet guys in my/their lunch break as any other time isn't always possible.

So can I ask then, what happens if you meet them and decide you don't like them?

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