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How rude....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Am I the only one who thinks it is rude to not respond in any way to a message?

All the messages I have sent on this site have been immediately deleted without the recipient even looking at my profile (at least as far as I can see!). The messages have all been well thought out and always sent with a face pic (I am told I am not THAT ugly!!). I have always read and understood the recipients profile and tried my best to pick the most appropriate people to send these messages to..

If anyone sends me a message - they will ALWAYS get a response, even if it is just to say no thanks...

Some people have no manners!

Sorry for the rant, but it is so frustrating!! I know there are a lot of wasters out there that obviously do us real people no favours whatsoever... but still - just a message saying F**k off would be nicer than nothing

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

Mate, you just have to ignore it.. it happens all the time, the people who do it may or not be deliberately being rude. Just move on.. letting it make you bitter and twisted will just spoil your enjoyment of all the other decent folk on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there loads of old threads on this and why people dont reply. me personally if the profile doesnt interest me i dont reply as it states on my profile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it seems like i am not the only one who doesnt get replies.....but i will keep trying.....and so should you......just dont let it get you down.....its the same for both sexes apparently....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know its probably been said before - but I feel better for having said it myself!!

Perhaps some of us were brought up to have a bit more courtesy!

The search for a response continues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same when i first joined but its just the nature of the site, I dont think all people who dont reply are rude just that they prob get 100s of emails

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Quoted from Admin.

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

Hi, This is pasted fron the FAQ at the bottom of the page.

It happens, people can either get pissed off or move on to the next mail and hope for a response.

We know which one we would do .

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would avoid saying that people have no courtesy or are bad mannered if they don't respond to messages

Normally you end up with a barrage of repsonses from people defending their reasons not to respond to something that does'nt interest them

Some of them have very good reasons too

The best advice is some that you have already been given which is try not to let it drag youu down as there are lots of lovely people on here

Just takes a bit of looking and sometimes lots of time to find them

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fair comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself know, attend some socials, don’t fall into the trap of only using what’s available on this site to get you meets, you’ll be somewhat disappointed, the more effort you put in, the more you’ll get back in return, get out and meet people face to face and have fun.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I always try to reply to all mesages - I probably wouldn't even look at your message or open it as you don't have an avatar pic and I would assume (wrongly) that you don't have any pics at all - Z

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

Can I make a serious suggestion.

Can Admin make it a tick box for people who don't reply to messages for whatever reason. This will then show up on their profile. then people will know straight away that if they don't get a reply then the recipient of the mail is not being rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes struggle to reply to every message I get as there's just so many. Some days I'd never have chance to speak with those that I wish to, if I were to spend all my time replying to those who I don't.

I cover this slightly by saying that if the sender has obviously not read my profile, is not local to me or is outside any of the things that I'm looking for which are stated on my profile then I'm afraid they're simply deleted.

Unsolicited winks or friend requests are also deleted without a response (although I do always look at the profiles).

Another thing to consider is that about 70% of people I say 'thanks but no thanks' to actually respond again disputing my decision!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is obviously old ground, but i really dont see the problem, if someone doesnt reply then why give it another thought?

equally, people shouldnt have to be under any pressure to reply, or justify their decision to do so.

an introductory mail on here is far removed from an introduction in person and should be treated as such.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"this is obviously old ground, but i really dont see the problem, if someone doesnt reply then why give it another thought?

equally, people shouldnt have to be under any pressure to reply, or justify their decision to do so.

an introductory mail on here is far removed from an introduction in person and should be treated as such.

"

Sorry dude - have to disagree with you there...

My point is that someone has taken the time and effort to write a personal message to someone else... Regardless as to whether that party is interested or not - it is common decency to at least acknowledge receipt.. You wouldn't ignore someone who struck up a conversation in person - so why ignore the same here?

I appreciate that some people on here are inundated with messages - and someone that isn't might find it frustrating that they are not getting responses.... and that there are a million and one loosers that make life difficult for those of us that are genuine... But just a 'no thanks' response would be nice...

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By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good

i never reply and dont give a shit to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Ok so you're looking for someone to double glaze your house

You get quotes from 20 companies all of them assuming that they will be perfect for you and have tailored themselves to suit what they think are your needs

Only one of them does though,so do you tell everyother one that they don't or do you concentrate on the one that will do the job for you?

I would'nt ignore anyone that approached me in real life but this is cyber land and people behave differently when they're behind a screen,rightly or wrongly thats how it is sometimes

No-one has to reply to anything they're not interested in on here

If we had a thanks but no thanks button,people would moan that no-one took the time to write a personal note saying the same thing

I have always took a non response as not interested,never looked into it any deeper than that

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Oooooo excuse my terrible grammar in the last sentence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you decide to drop someone and email and they decide not to get back to you where is the diff? a decision has been made by both parties involved, I don't respond to all the emails I get a) cause of the amount I get and b) cause I don't have to... just cause u got in touch does not give u the right to demand I get back to u... if you do not get a reply move on, at the end of the day no is no what ever the outcome is. I do not see it as bad manners I just see that the person who I got in touch with is not interested…. Does not bother me at all xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oooooo excuse my terrible grammar in the last sentence "

I'm not certain I can forgive the poor grammar, I think I may need to spank you instead

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok Ok... I get the message...

Perhaps I am judging people by my own standards....

I am not going to loose any sleep over a non response...

Just in a perfect world, it would be nice thats all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is obviously old ground, but i really dont see the problem, if someone doesnt reply then why give it another thought?

equally, people shouldnt have to be under any pressure to reply, or justify their decision to do so.

an introductory mail on here is far removed from an introduction in person and should be treated as such.

Sorry dude - have to disagree with you there...

My point is that someone has taken the time and effort to write a personal message to someone else... Regardless as to whether that party is interested or not - it is common decency to at least acknowledge receipt.. You wouldn't ignore someone who struck up a conversation in person - so why ignore the same here?

I appreciate that some people on here are inundated with messages - and someone that isn't might find it frustrating that they are not getting responses.... and that there are a million and one loosers that make life difficult for those of us that are genuine... But just a 'no thanks' response would be nice...

"

Problem is, a refusal sometimes gets an abusive reaction.

Some people also find it difficult to say no thanks, as you say you wouldn't ignore someone that strikes up conversation, but would you say 'I am not interested in speaking with you', as a refusal is pretty much that (metaphorically).

Besides the fact that couples and single females get far more messages than a single male is likely to see, the fact that some people that are turned down can and do get abusive, and the fact that some people find it difficult to turn somebody down, all add to the fact that some may not respond to messages.

Besides, I imagine many people in this society would actually ignore a complete stranger approaching them trying to strike up conversation.

I agree though, it would be nice if everybody here felt strong enough, trusted there would be no comebacks, and had enough time to reply to every message they had no interest in. We certainly try.

As it's said in many threads, take no reply as a no thank you.

Have to say though, if you are getting so many non replies, maybe a change in the way you message, or your profile or pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok Ok... I get the message...

Perhaps I am judging people by my own standards....

I am not going to loose any sleep over a non response...

Just in a perfect world, it would be nice thats all "

I agree, but this is far from a perfect world.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Oooooo excuse my terrible grammar in the last sentence

I'm not certain I can forgive the poor grammar, I think I may need to spank you instead "

Crack on Plummy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oooooo excuse my terrible grammar in the last sentence

I'm not certain I can forgive the poor grammar, I think I may need to spank you instead

Crack on Plummy "

*** has a mental picture of Honeys arse shimmering and beginning to glow slightly pinkish red, my hands nicely warmed up now, ***

Hmmmm, ty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok take it from my point of view ... as a single female i like others do tend to get quite a bit of mail from people that are well out of reach of my search area for want of a better way to put it.

Now after i have had a message sent the first thing i do is look where that person is in the country, if they are about 100 miles away i tend not to respond as you end up in an email ping pong with them saying "they can travel and its not a problem" etc etc ending up having 15 or so messages before they get to realise it isnt going to happen message deleted without any more responces.

The next is the cut and paste person who has sent you exactly the same message 5-6 times and are still trying their luck now having said no on a couple of occasions they also dont seem to get the message once again message deleted.

Who would you say is being the most rude the person who cant take no for an answer who are not what your looking for ? the person that sends cut and paste jobs months apart not realising sometimes they have sent the exact same message ? or the person on the other end of these messages that does try to be nice to as many as they can and feels like banging her head against a brick wall and ending up having to block them so they cant contact them again ?

P.S. the last 1 doesnt seem to work very well as i found out when i went through my block list recently and unblocked a few only to end up getting mail from them within 24 hrs of unblocking their account xxx Lois xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, well I'm not really, but i don't reply to messages simply because the first sentence states not meeting at the moment, just using the forums, so if someone sends me a message saying their in a hotel do I want to link up - why should I reply?

In the past when I was meeting I replies to everyone who wrote me a message where it was obvious they had read my profile but were just hoping. The thing is it leads to further correspondence leading you to explain why you didn't want to meet.

I suppose in an ideal world people would write and say why theye didn't want to meet and it would be acepted, but we know that's not the case.

Don't let it get you down, at the end of the day we can't dictate how others act.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are these threads on permanent rotation?

How many times can we have the same thing raked over again and again.

Oh hang on the "who's got the biggest cock" thread is re-starting...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are these threads on permanent rotation?

How many times can we have the same thing raked over again and again.

Oh hang on the "who's got the biggest cock" thread is re-starting..."

I do not spend much time in the forum therefore I am not bored by the same question...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't let a lack of a responce bother me. After all if they don't want to reply, then they probably weren't the right ones for me, or I wasn't right for them! Although of course a 'thanks but no thanks' would be a lot more courteous. Personaly I always reply, unless the person mailing me is blatantly contradictory to what my profile states I'm looking for. That could be because I will never mail anyone who's criteria I don't meet, as I think that's both rude and ignorant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is obviously old ground, but i really dont see the problem, if someone doesnt reply then why give it another thought?

equally, people shouldnt have to be under any pressure to reply, or justify their decision to do so.

an introductory mail on here is far removed from an introduction in person and should be treated as such.

Sorry dude - have to disagree with you there...

My point is that someone has taken the time and effort to write a personal message to someone else... Regardless as to whether that party is interested or not - it is common decency to at least acknowledge receipt.. You wouldn't ignore someone who struck up a conversation in person - so why ignore the same here?

I appreciate that some people on here are inundated with messages - and someone that isn't might find it frustrating that they are not getting responses.... and that there are a million and one loosers that make life difficult for those of us that are genuine... But just a 'no thanks' response would be nice...

"

'dude', you seem to have missd my point entirely.

I suggested that a mail on here cannot be compared to a greeting in person, the same as any other e-mail, text message or any other form of technological communication.

i'm sure i'm not the only one who ignores e-mails and the such from time to time- i see this as a part of modern life.

this means relating 'common decency to acknowledge resiept', however constructed and personal to the recipient just doesnt make sense to me.

i feel perhaps some people need to re-evaluate their expectations from a site like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i never reply and dont give a shit to be honest "

hahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get over it, Do you answer all your junk mail? Most of the couples on here have fulfilling relationships and fun lives which are too short to bother replying to unsolicited mail.

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

Sometimes I hit the wrong buton and "delete all" instead of "delete all read". I am blonde though. Am I forgiven?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not believe it is rude not to respond when one has taken the time to write in the profile that he/she will not respond to unsolicited messages for whatever reasons!

Peeps really should not "expect" a response just because they have taken the time to send a message.

Whether to respond or not is the receiver's prerogative, IMHO!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Have you ever been shopping for something and the sales person asks you if want extended warrenty/batteries/scart lead/extention lead... and the next shop they ask you if you want shoe polish/rain guard/ suede cleaner...

On your way to the next shop someone tries to stop you and ask if you have a few minutes to spare....

Whilst this may not make you feel any better for not getting any replies, please bare in mind... eventually saying 'no' to lots of people or lots of times it can start to bring you down... ask anyone with kids.

I certainly get to a point where I just don't want to write another 'no thanks'.... especially when a number of the 'no thanks' I have already sent are now sending follow on messages either begging or telling me what a ***** ****** ********** I am for turning them down

The delete button can easily become your friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i never reply and dont give a shit to be honest "

You crack me up!! pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been shopping for something and the sales person asks you if want extended warrenty/batteries/scart lead/extention lead... and the next shop they ask you if you want shoe polish/rain guard/ suede cleaner...

On your way to the next shop someone tries to stop you and ask if you have a few minutes to spare....

Whilst this may not make you feel any better for not getting any replies, please bare in mind... eventually saying 'no' to lots of people or lots of times it can start to bring you down... ask anyone with kids.

I certainly get to a point where I just don't want to write another 'no thanks'.... especially when a number of the 'no thanks' I have already sent are now sending follow on messages either begging or telling me what a ***** ****** ********** I am for turning them down

The delete button can easily become your friend."

or sending off CV's, cover letters etc etc for jobs advertised, rarely get a reply.

Consider your messages a cover letter and your profile a CV.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I may start sending messages to all those who haven't messaged me but have looked at my profile saying "I took the time to write a detailed profile and you can't even be bothered to send a fecking message saying you aren't interested... you rude feckin ****!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You wouldn't ignore someone who struck up a conversation in person - so why ignore the same here? "

Yeah but would you seriously go up to every girl/guy you fancied on the street, chat her/him up and expect her/him to feel comfortable telling you to bugger off to your face? The internet is not the same as face to face Plus in real life, folks on the street wouldn't be thinking, he's seriously expecting a shag, on here, let's face it, most are! lol x

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Actually.... just go into a city centre and watch the charity collectors and leaflet pushers getting totally blanked by most of the people they say 'hello' to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started off by saying thanks but no thanks it didn't work. Just go a lot of emails asking why? or being asked why i'm being picky. Especially from people who havn't even bothered to read my profile properly and are outside what i ask for. Dont see why i need to justify my decisions so now I dont reply. Not being rude just dont want the bother trying to be polite brings with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Christ I didn't think This would envoke this many responses.

To be fair I only really looked at this from the side of the hopeful stranger sending honest messages to people he thought might be interested in talking to further... I hadn't considered the people recieving them having to out the wheat from the chaff.

Your points are all valid and noted! Sometimes it's difficult to see/understand what is happening on the other side of the fence!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here"

Don't they?

I must have met the invisible man at the weekend then

he was'nt half good though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here"

Sounds like someone isnt a happy bunny... I wouldnt want to meet you,not after being called an idiot

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By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here"

u worded that wrong..... i think u meant,

no one meets YOU on this site

the rest of us have loadsa meets

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By *ddiddyMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

i agree with you matey a fuck off would be better than nothing we always reply to mail if only as you say to say fuck off but wouldent say that, just thanks but no thanks really

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

Think of it as smiling at someone in a supermarket, who does not smile back. It does not spoil your day, you just move on and keep on smiling. FABS is not some alien sphere where people behave differently from the real world.

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By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

try being a cpl, if we was to reply to every bit of mail we would be here all day. i dnt think its being rude,i would say its polite way of saying no.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here"

I just knew that I'd read a pearler tonight! Rather a sweeping generalisation! From an 'idiot' who 'never meets' Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

holy shit i must have got violated by the invisible man on mon

no one meets from here..... im in the sexual bermuda triangle...............

hell i like it!!! xx

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here

Don't they?

I must have met the invisible man at the weekend then

he was'nt half good though "

OOOOO get him to come to tease next friday mmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here

Don't they?

I must have met the invisible man at the weekend then

he was'nt half good though

OOOOO get him to come to tease next friday mmmm"

You won't be able to see him though Fruity lady.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here"

lol then who is in my pics.... no-one is meeting you for a reason mate....

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By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here

lol then who is in my pics.... no-one is meeting you for a reason mate.... "
dont no who they are but get them round our house lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what gets me is that no one meets on here .loads of idiots on here

lol then who is in my pics.... no-one is meeting you for a reason mate.... dont no who they are but get them round our house lol "

lol will pass on ur details... which guys u like the look of??? lol (makes me sound like a tart a no...) oh well....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had peeps wanting to know why I declined them in the past, and when I gave them an honest reply, they got shirty with me.

Also, there were those who would initially be nice after I declined them, and continued to exchange a few more message when I said I did not mind keeping in touch. When they finally realise I was unlikely to meet them, they would turn nasty and called me a timewaster!

So now, I either don't reply or I delete and block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had peeps wanting to know why I declined them in the past, and when I gave them an honest reply, they got shirty with me.

Also, there were those who would initially be nice after I declined them, and continued to exchange a few more message when I said I did not mind keeping in touch. When they finally realise I was unlikely to meet them, they would turn nasty and called me a timewaster!

So now, I either don't reply or I delete and block. "

Don't blame u at all, am sick of peeps getting in touch if we don't answer back to say that they are "not being pushy but..." esp if there are no pics on their profile if I don't answer back then it is obviously is a no

We don't always have the time, patience or will to email everyone back that gets in touch hard enough to sort out what your looking for to start thinking about someone you never plan on meeting! So put that in your pipe and smoke it... lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think its rude not to reply to messages, as a single women who meets single guys most days i get 50+ messages, even more if i go in chat and put my cam on, if i replied to every single message i got all id have time for would be replying to messages, and to be honest i like to do other things too on here, so i only reply to guys im interested in, some days i get that many i dont even read them all let alone reply to them all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a bit like going for a job,but you dont have the experience,but you need the job to gain experience,this site and others need to invest in apprentices, or some day there will be no fellow swingers left,then where will we be folks??

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I did'nt do any apprenticeship,I know single guys that have been so successful on here you would be blown away by it

But as its been said before,you get out of it what you put in,meeting people from this site or any internet site is not the only way to swing,its a very small part of it,well it is for us

We know lots that are'nt even on any sites and still have fantastic "swinging" fun because they get out from behind the pc and don't expect everything to come from sending a message

There so much going on in the way of meeting people on here,socials,parties,clubs,we're hand holding a single guy on his first club visit next week as hes a bit nervous........hey you're right! ive got myself an apprentice and did'nt even realise

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

We even cover this in the FAQ (link at bottom of each page)

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After spending time like most people - composing a well thought out message and yes DELETED - Well no more - I'll send a wink and if I get one back well then I'll send a more detailed message - Saves time - and all those people who don't like winks - tough !!

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By *ausage and sizzleCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple

[Removed by poster at 12/04/10 10:58:38]

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

a NO REPLY

IS

A

REPLY

Just often not one you would expect

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By *ausage and sizzleCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"Ok so you're looking for someone to double glaze your house

You get quotes from 20 companies all of them assuming that they will be perfect for you and have tailored themselves to suit what they think are your needs

Only one of them does though,so do you tell everyother one that they don't or do you concentrate on the one that will do the job for you?

I would'nt ignore anyone that approached me in real life but this is cyber land and people behave differently when they're behind a screen,rightly or wrongly thats how it is sometimes

No-one has to reply to anything they're not interested in on here

If we had a thanks but no thanks button,people would moan that no-one took the time to write a personal note saying the same thing

I have always took a non response as not interested,never looked into it any deeper than that "

I was just thinking, that really you could think of it as unsolicited mail (junk mail) sorry. And you would reply to them , even they've put a lot of thought and money into messaging you, unless you were interested.

We always try and respond, but that's just the way it goes, no one is obiliged to. Not worth getting upset about really.

This is where we could do with a "Thanks, but no thanks" button.

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By *ausage and sizzleCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"Ok so you're looking for someone to double glaze your house

You get quotes from 20 companies all of them assuming that they will be perfect for you and have tailored themselves to suit what they think are your needs

Only one of them does though,so do you tell everyother one that they don't or do you concentrate on the one that will do the job for you?

I would'nt ignore anyone that approached me in real life but this is cyber land and people behave differently when they're behind a screen,rightly or wrongly thats how it is sometimes

No-one has to reply to anything they're not interested in on here

If we had a thanks but no thanks button,people would moan that no-one took the time to write a personal note saying the same thing

I have always took a non response as not interested,never looked into it any deeper than that

I was just thinking, that really you could think of it as unsolicited mail (junk mail) sorry. And you would reply to them , even they've put a lot of thought and money into messaging you, unless you were interested.

We always try and respond, but that's just the way it goes, no one is obiliged to. Not worth getting upset about really.

This is where we could do with a "Thanks, but no thanks" button. "

...oops "And you wouldN'T reply to them" - damn this sticky keyboard!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do try and reply to all as she thinks its polite to do so, and my wife gets loads of messages lol.

But when she sometimes declines their offer to meet she gets such rudeness back that sometimes we wonder if its worth sending the reply.

Just because she doesnt want to travel across the country to meet you it doesn't make her 'a loser and a waste of time' as someone called her last night!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We TRY to respond to all messages, especially the initial message from somebody who has not contacted us before. We tend to ignore "chasing" messages once we stated we are either not interested or that they have to be a little patient with us as we do not get that much time for meets.

We would not necessarily assume somebody is rude if they do not reply to our messages - people are busy, and as previous posters have stated some people get so many emails they would not be doing anything other than replying all day long, to messages from people they may not wish to meet.

Suggestion? Do not take things to be personal xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete all without opening!

First sentence of my profile is "not meeting", second "I wouldn't waste your time"!

Can't really be any clearer than that so delete...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I delete all without opening!

First sentence of my profile is "not meeting", second "I wouldn't waste your time"!

Can't really be any clearer than that so delete... "

You could be more clear by taking off your requirements, we did on other profile, and although still do get messages we don't get near as many.

I've said in the past to others you could copy and paste your profile type into a folder on your pc and copy it back if and when you want to get back into the driving seat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An addition to my previous post and more on track....

We also try to reply to every message, it's far easier for us right now as we just explain that our profile is true with no hidden agenda, and wish them luck with their search.

To the OP, you mention you reply/would reply to every message you may get, but with all due respect, you being a single guy you will not experience the amount of messages a couple or single female will receive so it's easy to say if you was in that situation blah de blah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I delete all without opening!

First sentence of my profile is "not meeting", second "I wouldn't waste your time"!

Can't really be any clearer than that so delete...

You could be more clear by taking off your requirements, we did on other profile, and although still do get messages we don't get near as many.

I've said in the past to others you could copy and paste your profile type into a folder on your pc and copy it back if and when you want to get back into the driving seat. "

Oh?!! So because some people can't read or believe they're so charming I should remove part of my profile?!!

Surprised you haven't suggested I hide my profile or get off the site altogether to really make it clear!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To go slightly off track does everyone give money to beggers in the street? They are often polite and approach you but if you take the rude not to respond thing to the ultimate we should all be popping 50p in his begging cup.

I think speculative enquiries don't necessarily need a reply. If it does i am giving up as i am not about to send 30 negative messages out a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I delete all without opening!

First sentence of my profile is "not meeting", second "I wouldn't waste your time"!

Can't really be any clearer than that so delete...

You could be more clear by taking off your requirements, we did on other profile, and although still do get messages we don't get near as many.

I've said in the past to others you could copy and paste your profile type into a folder on your pc and copy it back if and when you want to get back into the driving seat.

Oh?!! So because some people can't read or believe they're so charming I should remove part of my profile?!!

Surprised you haven't suggested I hide my profile or get off the site altogether to really make it clear!! "

lol, no not at all, you do as you choose , I was just trying to be helpful and pointing a way you could be more clear is all.

Sorry you seem to have taken it in a way that was not intended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I delete all without opening!

First sentence of my profile is "not meeting", second "I wouldn't waste your time"!

Can't really be any clearer than that so delete...

You could be more clear by taking off your requirements, we did on other profile, and although still do get messages we don't get near as many.

I've said in the past to others you could copy and paste your profile type into a folder on your pc and copy it back if and when you want to get back into the driving seat.

Oh?!! So because some people can't read or believe they're so charming I should remove part of my profile?!!

Surprised you haven't suggested I hide my profile or get off the site altogether to really make it clear!!

lol, no not at all, you do as you choose , I was just trying to be helpful and pointing a way you could be more clear is all.

Sorry you seem to have taken it in a way that was not intended. "

I know what you meant - wouldn't make any difference though as you know from your own profile!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Is it that time of day already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I delete all without opening!

First sentence of my profile is "not meeting", second "I wouldn't waste your time"!

Can't really be any clearer than that so delete...

You could be more clear by taking off your requirements, we did on other profile, and although still do get messages we don't get near as many.

I've said in the past to others you could copy and paste your profile type into a folder on your pc and copy it back if and when you want to get back into the driving seat.

Oh?!! So because some people can't read or believe they're so charming I should remove part of my profile?!!

Surprised you haven't suggested I hide my profile or get off the site altogether to really make it clear!!

lol, no not at all, you do as you choose , I was just trying to be helpful and pointing a way you could be more clear is all.

Sorry you seem to have taken it in a way that was not intended.

I know what you meant - wouldn't make any difference though as you know from your own profile! "

oh it's definitely made a difference, that's why I suggested it, it hasn't ended it altogether, but I find now I/We can browse the forums or chat or whatever and not receive a dozen of messages in a few mins when online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sorry dude - have to disagree with you there...

My point is that someone has taken the time and effort to write a personal message to someone else... Regardless as to whether that party is interested or not - it is common decency to at least acknowledge receipt..

"

Try applying for jobs these days if you think people are rude on here. A reply?? fat chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I know its probably been said before - but I feel better for having said it myself!!

Perhaps some of us were brought up to have a bit more courtesy!

The search for a response continues "

A female friend of mine on here had over 900 responses to her profile within 4 days of puting it up so there is no way she was ever going to be able to reply to them all. Some never even got read as she has a life outside of FAB and wanted to keep it that way!

She is a lovely lass, very polite and courteous but she didn't have the time to spend replying to each and every message so if some people on here can't accept that they won't get a reply to every message they send out then maybe FAB isn't for them. There have been countless threads about this subject and it will never change or get any better.

Glad you feel better at the expense of making everyone else think 'god, not again'

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Blimey! who dragged this thread up from 6 weeks ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep same here. snobs everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yep same here. snobs everywhere."

??

Are you saying peope are snobs because they dont reply to your emails?

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By *exxi_biWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Was it wrong of me to block a couple when a week ago I replied to their message by saying I have had alot of messages and invites and Im not interested in them. In a week I must have had 3 more from them saying to give them a chance and today without even reading the mail I blocked them.

Did I do the right thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah and i start replyin to every junk email and letter!!

2 mins replyin to a do ya wanna fuck doll from a 52 year old man in croydon is a lot of 2 mins out of my day that im not gonna get back so no i only reply if interested!!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yep same here. snobs everywhere."

You could be right, I don't for one second think they possibly receive lot's of messages and decide to pick those that stand out starting with avatar pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Blimey! who dragged this thread up from 6 weeks ago "

It was Hugh Jardon Miss!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Blimey! who dragged this thread up from 6 weeks ago

It was Hugh Jardon Miss!"

lol!!! liked that one granny !! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Hugh Jardon.......go and stand in the corner please with your hands on your head

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By *peedypeteMan
over a year ago

derby

I have been swinging eight years and yes people aren't as polite as they were. It doesn't matter how many messages you have, you can still be polite. Some sites used to have a standard reply you could just click on like "thanks but no thanks" maybe we should adopt that,

Also some folks need to read their own profiles, eg definately no single males, then in the lower part it says wants to meet mails. There are many more examples.

But there are still fantastic swingign out there, just harder to find them.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"I have been swinging eight years and yes people aren't as polite as they were. It doesn't matter how many messages you have, you can still be polite. Some sites used to have a standard reply you could just click on like "thanks but no thanks" maybe we should adopt that,

Also some folks need to read their own profiles, eg definately no single males, then in the lower part it says wants to meet mails. There are many more examples.

But there are still fantastic swingign out there, just harder to find them."

As has been said before, people would then come in and moan that people only send them back the standard 'thanks but no thanks' message and call them rude again

Some could say 'no single males' and still meet single males as they would rather pick them themselves and not be inundated with mails from males!

Why can't people just let others be themselves and leave it as 'each to their own'!

Just my tuppence worth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been swinging eight years and yes people aren't as polite as they were. It doesn't matter how many messages you have, you can still be polite. Some sites used to have a standard reply you could just click on like "thanks but no thanks" maybe we should adopt that,

Also some folks need to read their own profiles, eg definately no single males, then in the lower part it says wants to meet mails. There are many more examples.

But there are still fantastic swingign out there, just harder to find them."

I've noticed most that think this way are actually single males, so can't help but feel it's a case of not experiencing how the other half live (so to speak) in this scene.

As stated on numerous occasions throughout the forums, many couples and single females receive a lot of messages daily, to answer all those is difficult for so many reasons.....

As soon as any couples/single females appear online the messages start to come in besides the ones already waiting in the inbox.

many of the messages replied to get a reply back, quite a few asking in their own way why the refusal, so messages adding up again.

On many occasion I have been replying to a message whilst another two have come through, I/We do try to reply to all messages, but sometimes wonder whether to bother.

Think of it this way, if some undesirable on the street approached and wanted to talk how many would stop to do so?. if people have no desire to take conversation further then that's what they choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we've said on similar threads,no reply usually means "not interested",just move on.

The easiest thing to do when contacting someone is simply to say,at some point in your mail,something like "Love your profile,it looks like we share a lot in common.Please check mine/ours and feel free to reply if you like what you see".

That way there's no onus on anyone to reply but if they do great!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Trace and Ric that is far too sensible........people just won't like the idea

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

apparently;;yes you did

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

manners cost nothing even if it is to say thanks..... but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who did what ?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

This thread gets more surreal by the minute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Am I the only one who thinks it is rude to not respond in any way to a message?

All the messages I have sent on this site have been immediately deleted without the recipient even looking at my profile (at least as far as I can see!). The messages have all been well thought out and always sent with a face pic (I am told I am not THAT ugly!!). I have always read and understood the recipients profile and tried my best to pick the most appropriate people to send these messages to..

If anyone sends me a message - they will ALWAYS get a response, even if it is just to say no thanks...

Some people have no manners!

Sorry for the rant, but it is so frustrating!! I know there are a lot of wasters out there that obviously do us real people no favours whatsoever... but still - just a message saying F**k off would be nicer than nothing"

i usually respond to every one but lately when someone just messages you and says Hi how are you I dont bother anymore

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

are the swans still in poland or have they moved on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think enough has been said on this subject only thing I will say is dont get disappointed and dont give up.Everyone is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im afraid that women get inundated with messages and as i have a full and part time job i dont have the time. Plus as you are a little far from me, it would be pointless though i would actually reply to your message and tell you that.

As for clowns, as your profile says, pot calling the kettle black

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone sends a message that fits what we have written in the profile, we try to respond.

If someone sends a message that shows they obviously havent read the profile, then we will delete it.

It doesnt matter how well the message is written - if they havent had the courtesy to properly read the profile, why should we have the courtesy to reply?

Our biggest bugbear are the "hi, how are you?" and "Hi, want to chat?" messages. Grrr! Guys, if you want to get responses, contact people how they want to be contacted, not how you think politeness dictates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was it wrong of me to block a couple when a week ago I replied to their message by saying I have had alot of messages and invites and Im not interested in them. In a week I must have had 3 more from them saying to give them a chance and today without even reading the mail I blocked them.

Did I do the right thing?"

Yes you did - if they cant have the courtesy to take your wishes into consideration, why should you have to be hassled by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i always say hi to every one as im just happy go shaz and truthful xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well i always say hi to every one as im just happy go shaz and truthful xxxxx"

What a nice friendly way of putting it..hope you have a lovely day xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets be honest...

it is not difficult to reply to a message when us single guys on here probably only get 3 or 4 a day! The single ladies probably get 100's so to reply to all would take them all day...

Perhaps a button that was an automated reply and delete so the sender got a message such as 'Thanks for your message but not my type" and the recipient can still delete the message with one click would help??

It is frustrating to see a sent message go 'Deleted' but understand part of being a single guy so keep trying!

have fun all - Lee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lets be honest...

it is not difficult to reply to a message when us single guys on here probably only get 3 or 4 a day! The single ladies probably get 100's so to reply to all would take them all day...

Perhaps a button that was an automated reply and delete so the sender got a message such as 'Thanks for your message but not my type" and the recipient can still delete the message with one click would help??

It is frustrating to see a sent message go 'Deleted' but understand part of being a single guy so keep trying!

have fun all - Lee "

If message is deleted then you can take it as no.

We dont reply to all messges,we got one yesterday just saying hi,i deleted it then got another one calling us a timewaster lol

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