FabSwingers.com forum: Would I lie to you

By *ing_Arser OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

So I met this woman on fabs and we swapped pics. When I saw her pic, I felt I had seen it before, on a dating site several years ago.

Anyway, we met in person to check if there’s any chemistry, and unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we didn’t click. I asked her if she had been on other dating sites, she denied. I thought either I’m mistaken or she’s forgotten because it’s been some time.

A few days later while sitting at home too bored to do anything useful, I thought I’d check that website. Lo and behold she had a profile there, with the same pic she had sent me a few days earlier which I had seen a few years ago! And her age on the site was maybe a couple of years younger than today. Moreover, she had just been on the site that same day!

I’m baffled why she felt the need to lie. That other site was a normal paid dating site, nothing kinky. This incident put me off fabs for several weeks and actually got me worried. If she lies about such a trivial thing, then heaven knows what else would she have lied about had we met. Maybe she’s married, has an STD, was a drug dealer, …!

Surprisingly I wasn’t at all annoyed by the fact that she had sent me an old pic or appears to have lied about her age. I do understand that some people may do that, but lie about being on a dating site! Why? we’re in the 21st century for heaven’s sake.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

funny . i think ive recognised cock pics before , one gut sent me a pic with a headboard in the background a week later sent me another pic ... Different headboard , when i asked him if he had bought a new bed or the pics he sent were taken in the same bedroom he replied no , when i pointed out the headboard were he still continued to insist they weren't it was the lighting etc ... I promptly blocked the idiot for insulting my intelligence . Im coming up for my mid 40s I like u dont see the point in lying .... But can I say in my opinion more blokes in their mid 40s lie about their age than women ... Their profile descriptions also are full of lies like for eg .. Dark hair athletic ,non smokers goes for a run every morning ... U meet there grey ok there slim not athletic and dont run , and have a smokers cough ...

Im with you why lie ... Tell the truth ... Then ppl can make an honest assessment as to whether they will be attracted or not nothing worse turning up to a meet to find they ve lied about everything ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oops gut = guy ....

typo s haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of bullshitters on here! Men and women...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ing_Arser OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

............ Tell the truth ... Then ppl can make an honest assessment as to whether they will be attracted or not ...... "

Exactly, especially when we're mature men and women, not teenagers anymore.

You sound like a real philosopher, hmm, so the cat loves the rooster

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of bullshitters on here! Men and women... "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

We must've missed the rule that says you have to answer any nosy question on a meet.

"Are you on any dating sites?"

Why is that anyones business but hers?

The poor woman probably only came here for a shag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly overactive imagination with the drug dealer bit.... But she wasn't prepared to answer to you.

I'd have said ' I'm sure I've seen you before'

Lying doesn't sit well with me at all so I think you have to follow your gut reaction x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

To be fair. The dating sites frequently contain fake profiles. I have had my pic pinched from here and used on a Completely fictitious profile on a dating site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We must've missed the rule that says you have to answer any nosy question on a meet.

"Are you on any dating sites?"

Why is that anyones business but hers?

The poor woman probably only came here for a shag."

But why lie that's just odd

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We must've missed the rule that says you have to answer any nosy question on a meet.

"Are you on any dating sites?"

Why is that anyones business but hers?

The poor woman probably only came here for a shag."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

Maybe she isn't on another dating site but someone has stolen her photos, it's very common.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

............ Tell the truth ... Then ppl can make an honest assessment as to whether they will be attracted or not ......

Exactly, especially when we're mature men and women, not teenagers anymore.

You sound like a real philosopher, hmm, so the cat loves the rooster

I am the lil Red Rooster ... Too laaaaazee to crow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe she isn't on another dating site but someone has stolen her photos, it's very common. "
..

Good point , I myself have witnessed this with a friend of mine , it is very common.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people lie because they don't get any attention telling the truth. Seen it on a few chat forums. People use their own pics or recent ones and they get ignored. Use old pics or googled from modelling sites and hey presto, everyone wants them. Maybe the problem is the other people not them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you also need to learn about peoples discretion

why should I have a link to a dating site I might be on?- or answer any questions on it?

whats next people checking up on others just to check they arent unemployed?

as I say to anyone...theres no need to air the laundry so openly on the forums, a bit of respect and privacy even if the meet didnt go to plan

thats my opinion(s)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Since i have been here one chap has been contacting me ..randomly from several different profiles always similar text he is a footballer he says ..

when i checked back this morning after another message same photo he is now born in manchester 5 months ago he was born in newacastle he has also aged 4 years in the last 20 weeks since last message.

I told him today that the best thing is to have a good memory if he was going to lie. I wait for a reply. I tineyed the pic but no results ..

I expect he has been bored this morning and contacting a few ladies..be warned .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Liars on here???

OMG surely not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Liars on here???

OMG surely not"

your pics are rubbish

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing on the net is real, take everything with a pinch of salt, unless u have a heart condition

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

People lie all the time, some to get things they want, some to try and impress - its how it is!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

My memory is useless so I don't see the point in lying.. I'd get busted too quick

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand the lying mentality some people have, but being a realist I give people time to either hang themselves with their own lies or prove themselves to be genuine. For the most part this happens at the messaging stage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

I've yoyo'd here on fabs. Left when it became too much of a chore or life needed my attention but I've seen the same.

A year ago a fab member got a promotion and moved near me. Low and behold as i returned to fabs it happened again

it could of course be a coincidence that he moved from up north to the midlands. Back up north when i left fabs & got the same promotion & moved back just as i rejoined!!

Either way both times i declined to help him celebrate

I know a lot of fabbers in real life & when i look at their profiles

horse apples

But its their profiles. Their choice & all that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Love the drug dealer part of the story

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I don't understand the lying mentality some people have, but being a realist I give people time to either hang themselves with their own lies or prove themselves to be genuine. For the most part this happens at the messaging stage."

Yes, it's amazing how many people do hang themselves with lies very quickly. I am afraid even small lies raise alarm bells for me.

But sadly it seems that both sexes do a lot of 'saying what I think the other one wants to hear to get them to like me' and do not consider it lying per se.'

I hate it, it's like entering the twilight zone where you have no idea what is real and what is not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, trust is very important, and I believe in being open and honest from the onset.

Nothing to hide, therefore, nothing to worry.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Much as I hate lying I do have some empathy on this occasion as I am on dating sites but do not particularly want the two connected. The anonimity on here means I can talk about matters sexual in a way I would not on a 'public' forum where business contacts might see me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ing_Arser OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"I think you also need to learn about peoples discretion

why should I have a link to a dating site I might be on?- or answer any questions on it?

whats next people checking up on others just to check they arent unemployed?

as I say to anyone...theres no need to air the laundry so openly on the forums, a bit of respect and privacy even if the meet didnt go to plan

thats my opinion(s)"

Fair point, and if she had said I'm not prepared to answer this question, I would've understood.

No intention what so ever of airing the laundry. I didn't mention anything that would identify her. I'm just sharing an experience, isn't that part of the purpose of the forums.

I'm only sharing my surprise and disapointment. I always feel that above a certain age (let's say my age), you don't need to resort to lying as you've reached a point in your life where you're happy in your own skin and know what you want and what you're able/willing to offer, so no point in lying.

I do acknowledge of course that she's not accounatble to me, and that if she chooses to lie that's her choice. But then to be fair, you also need to acknowledge that I have the right to be annoyed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ing_Arser OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"To be fair. The dating sites frequently contain fake profiles. I have had my pic pinched from here and used on a Completely fictitious profile on a dating site."

Another fair point, it did occur to me. But I know it's her. I won't go into the details as I don't want her to be identifiable from it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lies find you out - since ive gone over the 50 barrier we arent suitable for many now tempted to lie about my age - we both look way younger than our years everybody says so but we stick with the truth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets face no-one on here is completely honest as there's things that are no one else's business.

If you met off here then she was just looking for a shag plain and simple after all this isn't quite what I'd called a dating site now is it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People lie all the time, sometimes not even on purpose..

Maybe the truth was too complicated, painful, personal and private to discuss with a random stranger..

Maybe YOU were so excited at the prospect of meeting her that you failed to notice the writting on the wall..so to speak.....either way, lesson learnt...humans lie!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

seems like possesive behaviour here, move along

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Liars on here???

OMG surely not

your pics are rubbish

White lies never hurt anyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP...still not getting this...

What you see as something trivial, may not be to her

Rather than say "I wont answer questions..", she simply said no she isnt

Fair enough you ended up having no interest, but you did go back and 'check up'...I'd find that a little strange

jumping to conclusions about what else she'd lie about is just silly...all she did was deflect a probing question without making it appear rude

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Liars on here???

OMG surely not

your pics are rubbish

White lies never hurt anyone"

hehehe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seems like possesive behaviour here, move along"

I'd say the same if a female/couple had posted this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you didn't click and you're not going to see her again why does it bother you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

was nothing major. a lil white lie if anything

fuck it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ing_Arser OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I just didn't see the need to lie, that's it really. Simple

Yes we didn't click and there was no chemistry. But then I never have any expectations from a social meet (or any meet for that matter). I'm mature enough to understand that it can go either way, and that that doesn't make any of us inferior in any way.

Ok, I do take the point about wanting to have both aspects of her life separate (dating v fabing).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ing_Arser OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"was nothing major. a lil white lie if anything

fuck it

yep, I agree.

I'll turn the page.

I'll cancel my appointment for therapy, and no need for the support group anymore

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take everyone at face value. Doesn't bother me why anyone would feel the need to make up a lie to get out of something. I always prefer the honest answer. Not much fazes me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread