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"Had a friend going out on a date a few days ago, made the usual comment about don't do anything I wouldn't do..... she commented that that wouldn't leave her many options.......I felt quite amused that she has absolutely no idea " Lol, you must give off the "naughty aura " | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. " Got to say we do, we are not big swingers at all, but even the thought of doing it is a big turn on. | |||
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"Will someone please tell me what a vanilla couple or person is? X" A person with no sex organs | |||
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"Will someone please tell me what a vanilla couple or person is? X A person with no sex organs" | |||
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"Will someone please tell me what a vanilla couple or person is? X A person with no sex organs" No dick !!! | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. " how very selfish, you could make a fortune, enriching peoples lives, helping people keep their marriages going, Yes I can see it now, weekly lessons at the village hall, forget jam making, come and learn how to swing ! | |||
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"Will someone please tell me what a vanilla couple or person is? X A person with no sex organs No dick !!!" Thats NOT what it means | |||
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"Hate the term myself! Too many "swingers" use it!" I couldn't agree more | |||
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" how very selfish, you could make a fortune, enriching peoples lives, helping people keep their marriages going, Yes I can see it now, weekly lessons at the village hall, forget jam making, come and learn how to swing ! " Hmmm, fancy pitching this on dragons den??? | |||
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"Vanilla sex is a term that refers to what a society considers to be standard, traditional or normal sex" I love normal sex | |||
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"Will someone please tell me what a vanilla couple or person is? X A person with no sex organs No dick !!! Thats NOT what it means " I figured it wasn't either of those lol, thanks for clearing it up x | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " | |||
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"Hate the term myself! Too many "swingers" use it!" Why? It's just terminology , isn't "swinger" just the opposite to "vanilla"? | |||
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"lots of people become swingers because they have been hurt and are damaged from past experience, and turn to swinging for self gratification, and to be in charge of their sex life. rather than the traditional love and emotional route to sex." With what you've just written in mind then - do you believe that swingers have incredible sex, swinging enhances relationships and would never damage them. | |||
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" Why? It's just terminology , isn't "swinger" just the opposite to "vanilla"?" No.. | |||
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"Vanilla is the slightly patronising term used to describe people who don't swing. People who swing have crap sex lives I've seen threads on it recently. People who don't swing have sex lives ranging from crap to fantastic, swinging is just another facet of sex not a better one." Vanilla means plain....swinging BDSM dogging are 3 none vanilla lifestyles I know a teacher who's into BDSM and she says she's vanila by day!!! | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. " No why would I if they have a good relationship then that great for them. As for not handling it well there a re a hell of a lot of couples who do swing and don't handle it well at all but go through it to please their partners. | |||
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" Why? It's just terminology , isn't "swinger" just the opposite to "vanilla"? No.. " Oh right ok, sorry, you must be right then | |||
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"do you advertise the fact your swingers to your friends ? My point is they maybe well be masking is they could well be swingers too trying to mask the fact by how boring their sex lifes are ...think about it " No that's not the case, I'm talking about guys who make a joke about how their sex lives have become mundane over the years | |||
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" Why? It's just terminology , isn't "swinger" just the opposite to "vanilla"? No.. Oh right ok, sorry, you must be right then" I am | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. " all bar one of my 'vanilla' relationships have been pretty good in the bedroom .. swapping or not - good sex is what it comes down to, though the excitment of a meet doesnt compare I suppose | |||
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"I tend not to hear peeps moaning about their sex lives, as I don't hang out with moaners and whingers. " What you doing here then lol | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. No why would I if they have a good relationship then that great for them. As for not handling it well there a re a hell of a lot of couples who do swing and don't handle it well at all but go through it to please their partners. " | |||
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"Some of us marrieds on here would give their right arm for even vanilla sex at home. I know I would!" This is the issue. Not so much a question of vanilla vs swingers but it is all about the quality and quantity of sex ppl are having. I have vanilla friends who are married and have a happy sex life and others who are miserable and where wives put up with occasional sex because they feel they have to. It is these people I feel sorry for. | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " | |||
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"Some of us marrieds on here would give their right arm for even vanilla sex at home. I know I would! This is the issue. Not so much a question of vanilla vs swingers but it is all about the quality and quantity of sex ppl are having. I have vanilla friends who are married and have a happy sex life and others who are miserable and where wives put up with occasional sex because they feel they have to. It is these people I feel sorry for." At least one person feels sorry for me then. The conflict between a wife who isn't interested at all and a husband who would be happy for sex just once a week, and to actually feel desired, is a huge issue. It isn't everything about a marriage but it is an important one. | |||
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"lots of people become swingers because they have been hurt and are damaged from past experience, and turn to swinging for self gratification, and to be in charge of their sex life. rather than the traditional love and emotional route to sex." this Sounds about right | |||
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"Vanilla is the slightly patronising term used to describe people who don't swing. People who swing have crap sex lives I've seen threads on it recently. People who don't swing have sex lives ranging from crap to fantastic, swinging is just another facet of sex not a better one." | |||
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"I love it when finishing work on a Friday and the banter is along the lines of "what's everyone doing this weekend?" I take a delight in saying that we've got a swinging party to go to or got a 3some arranged. Get the usual sort of replies, "dream on Dave / you wish / aye right" etc etc If only they knew. " Hahaha love this! | |||
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"What a patronising term!! I'm pretty positive MOST "vanilla" couples are perfectly happy with their partner and have great sex lives. And MOST would probably feel sorry for the 'swinging' couples that feel they have to add extra 'spice' to their sex lives to get their jollies off! " Think you need to read the OP again..they were talking about friends who moan about their sex lives. I'm sure the OP realises that 'vanilla ' people do have great sex lives. | |||
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"What a patronising term!! I'm pretty positive MOST "vanilla" couples are perfectly happy with their partner and have great sex lives. And MOST would probably feel sorry for the 'swinging' couples that feel they have to add extra 'spice' to their sex lives to get their jollies off! Think you need to read the OP again..they were talking about friends who moan about their sex lives. I'm sure the OP realises that 'vanilla ' people do have great sex lives. " Nope. The question was, 'do you feel sorry for vanilla couples'? NOT, 'do you feel sorry for my vanilla friends'? | |||
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"What a patronising term!! I'm pretty positive MOST "vanilla" couples are perfectly happy with their partner and have great sex lives. And MOST would probably feel sorry for the 'swinging' couples that feel they have to add extra 'spice' to their sex lives to get their jollies off! Think you need to read the OP again..they were talking about friends who moan about their sex lives. I'm sure the OP realises that 'vanilla ' people do have great sex lives. Nope. The question was, 'do you feel sorry for vanilla couples'? NOT, 'do you feel sorry for my vanilla friends'? " Nope.. that was the header..then qualified in the text..simple | |||
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"What a patronising term!! I'm pretty positive MOST "vanilla" couples are perfectly happy with their partner and have great sex lives. And MOST would probably feel sorry for the 'swinging' couples that feel they have to add extra 'spice' to their sex lives to get their jollies off! Think you need to read the OP again..they were talking about friends who moan about their sex lives. I'm sure the OP realises that 'vanilla ' people do have great sex lives. Nope. The question was, 'do you feel sorry for vanilla couples'? NOT, 'do you feel sorry for my vanilla friends'? Nope.. that was the header..then qualified in the text..simple" Lol. The header WAS the question, seeing as that part of the op is the ONLY part with a question mark after it! The op then went on to supply an example of what they meant by that questin. Hence, i answered the ops question! | |||
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"What a patronising term!! I'm pretty positive MOST "vanilla" couples are perfectly happy with their partner and have great sex lives. And MOST would probably feel sorry for the 'swinging' couples that feel they have to add extra 'spice' to their sex lives to get their jollies off! Think you need to read the OP again..they were talking about friends who moan about their sex lives. I'm sure the OP realises that 'vanilla ' people do have great sex lives. Nope. The question was, 'do you feel sorry for vanilla couples'? NOT, 'do you feel sorry for my vanilla friends'? Nope.. that was the header..then qualified in the text..simple Lol. The header WAS the question, seeing as that part of the op is the ONLY part with a question mark after it! The op then went on to supply an example of what they meant by that questin. Hence, i answered the ops question!" Yes you did, without regard to the context explained in the post..never a good idea..lol | |||
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"I love it when finishing work on a Friday and the banter is along the lines of "what's everyone doing this weekend?" I take a delight in saying that we've got a swinging party to go to or got a 3some arranged. Get the usual sort of replies, "dream on Dave / you wish / aye right" etc etc If only they knew. " 'The best way to hide the truth is to tell it'. It's amazing what truths people will dismiss...... Now, where did I park that space craft? | |||
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" I wonder how much ire would be generated at a thread called 'I feel sorry for all the swingles who don't share a deep profound love and connection with a significant other...' " Yeah I feel sorry for me | |||
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"As someone who has just got into a monogamous relationship I can assure you the sex is definitely not vanilla. I wonder how much ire would be generated at a thread called 'I feel sorry for all the swingles who don't share a deep profound love and connection with a significant other...' " | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. " I do feel sorry for any couple who aren't having a happy fulfilling sex life, 'vanilla' or swinger, for us though our secret to a good one isn't swinging, it just enhanced an already fantastic one x | |||
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"I use vanilla to mean, no kinks. So I could have a vanilla meet from this site " I agree with this | |||
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"Hate the term myself! Too many "swingers" use it!" Likewise! | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " My _iews too! | |||
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"Vanilla is the slightly patronising term used to describe people who don't swing. People who swing have crap sex lives I've seen threads on it recently. People who don't swing have sex lives ranging from crap to fantastic, swinging is just another facet of sex not a better one." "Slightly?" | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " | |||
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"What a patronising term!! I'm pretty positive MOST "vanilla" couples are perfectly happy with their partner and have great sex lives. And MOST would probably feel sorry for the 'swinging' couples that feel they have to add extra 'spice' to their sex lives to get their jollies off! " | |||
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"As someone who has just got into a monogamous relationship I can assure you the sex is definitely not vanilla. I wonder how much ire would be generated at a thread called 'I feel sorry for all the swingles who don't share a deep profound love and connection with a significant other...' " | |||
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"No.... Plenty of so called "vanilla" people have better sex lives than most on here " Bingo! | |||
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"No.... Plenty of so called "vanilla" people have better sex lives than most on here Bingo! " I wasn't given a card! | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " 100% true.... Sometimes wonder if swinging couple feel more pressure to "perform" than non swinging... For a lot.....and I'd include ourselves in that....it's the buzz of the social side we like....we are soft swap and have a great sex life without fully swinging... | |||
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"No.... Plenty of so called "vanilla" people have better sex lives than most on here Bingo! I wasn't given a card! " I ran out of them | |||
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"No.... Plenty of so called "vanilla" people have better sex lives than most on here " you are so right would say 80% of the people on this site are single men been members for over a year and never meet any one vanillas may not play like us but most do play once or twice a week. but saying that when people do talk about sex we just smile and lets just say we would never play the game truth or dare with them | |||
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"Not couples who don't swing per se...really hate the term vanilla...I do feel sorry for couples who stay in relationships that clearly aren't happy or fulfilling in any way...and we've met couples like that through swinging too..." Well said... I don't judge any other couple! People should be happy and fulfilled with what suits them. No moral high ground here, just a lucky gal Ruby x | |||
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"I love it when finishing work on a Friday and the banter is along the lines of "what's everyone doing this weekend?" I take a delight in saying that we've got a swinging party to go to or got a 3some arranged. Get the usual sort of replies, "dream on Dave / you wish / aye right" etc etc If only they knew. " | |||
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"No.... Plenty of so called "vanilla" people have better sex lives than most on here " I have to agree, the arrogant assumption that swinging leads to better sexual experience is so shortsighted its unreal... any common mutt in the street can rutt away endlessly with bitch after bitch....do you think his skills and pleasure increase and improve with each thrust? consider a tantric couple who lost their virginity to each other and have never been with another...and consider that over years with a deep and passionate love for each other, a rare honesty and openess, an intimacy so raw and unpolluted that their refined lovemaking over the years has developed to a point that when they both choose far surpasses anything you or i will ever encounter.... quantity will never, ever be a substitute for quality, thats what seperates us from the common beasts in the dirt....(not that that isnt fun sometimes too xx) | |||
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"Yes, I do feel sorry for "vanilla couples", having been part of one years ago. Now, my "relationships" are transient through choice, and practically always with other swingers, be they with a single or a couple. My swinging meets are always exciting, erotic, incredibly sexual and very passionate indeed. Each meet is different, and fantastic, and invariably I form strong ties with the people I've been with. In contrast, and this is just from my perspective, "vanilla coupling" by its very limitation ceases to be exciting as time goes by, whereas swinging continues to be exciting, with each new single/couple I meet. Long may it continue " | |||
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"Yes, I do feel sorry for "vanilla couples", having been part of one years ago. Now, my "relationships" are transient through choice, and practically always with other swingers, be they with a single or a couple. My swinging meets are always exciting, erotic, incredibly sexual and very passionate indeed. Each meet is different, and fantastic, and invariably I form strong ties with the people I've been with. In contrast, and this is just from my perspective, "vanilla coupling" by its very limitation ceases to be exciting as time goes by, whereas swinging continues to be exciting, with each new single/couple I meet. Long may it continue " That is exactly why I came on here and what I am still trying to find. | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. No why would I if they have a good relationship then that great for them. As for not handling it well there a re a hell of a lot of couples who do swing and don't handle it well at all but go through it to please their partners. " Well said I agree with that | |||
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"Some people don't help themselves either. I used to work with a guy years ago who's idea of seduction was to have a shower, put his dressing gown on, go downstairs and open the dressing gown and ask his wife "Anything here you fancy tonight" And he wondered why his sex life was crap......" Hey ! At least he had a shower !!! Jane x | |||
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"never really had the conversation with couple friends, however, the ones i have known not have lots of sex between them, one or the other partner is usually getting it elsewhere, so who knows" Often the case unfortunately | |||
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"never really had the conversation with couple friends, however, the ones i have known not have lots of sex between them, one or the other partner is usually getting it elsewhere, so who knows Often the case unfortunately " you say unfortunately, but i suppose each to their own. as long as neither involve me in their lies then its not up to me to judge how they conduct their affairs, as it were | |||
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"never really had the conversation with couple friends, however, the ones i have known not have lots of sex between them, one or the other partner is usually getting it elsewhere, so who knows" Maybe they are swingers? Or maybe just one half of the couple. Or cuckold? Just because they don't tell other people about their sex lives, doesn't necessarily mean they are unhappy. | |||
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"I've got a few long time married friends who moan about their sex lives, I always feel a little smug knowing how great our sex lives are and would love to share "the secret", but know most wouldn't be able to handle swinging and also ,we live in a small town, so I just smile and keep it to myself. " We're vanilla (when we're not swinging!!) | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " Well said, i spent 22 years vanilla and had some great sex.... Being monogamous in a committed relationship isn't all doom and gloom! Shame on you judgemental lot... Julie xx ps, can't wait for next meet, we always have superb sex post meetup | |||
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"Vanilla couples must have great sex lives not bored with shagging eachother. If they had boring sex lives they be on a swingers site to boost their flagging sex lives. " I disagree. My sex life is not flagging & we know which buttons to push. Occasionally we find it fun to have a different person driving the train is all | |||
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"No I don't feel sorry for vanilla couples. I'm sure many are having amazing sex and would find that having sex with strangers a disturbing rather than erotic thing to do. It is not true that only swingers can have great quality sex. " | |||
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