FabSwingers.com forum: Of course we are all bothered....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A few recent posts have voiced concern by what other users think about ' overactive ' folk on fab .

The vast majority of forumites have told the ops to ignore the judgemental people and to do whatever they like - your life , your choice , have fun and enjoy yourself .

That's all very well but we all get affected by any negative judgmental opinions , whether it's about the amount of meets , ones size , age , sexual preference , etc ....

So my question is this - why do some people feel the need to voice their negative opinions on other peoples choices ? Especially on fab , knowing full well it will have a negative impact on the recipient .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because we all like to think we're living up to some moral standards. So if we believe someone else is not... E.g someone's profile states bare back only, we like to tell them they're idiots for doing so...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

the site reflects life and that is mostly what we Brits do.

build people up, then rip them to shreds.

this is no different sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes the thread is composed with a poor choice of words and therefore perceived as negative. For example we had a question about curvy and FAT (something like what's the difference between them). Yes fat was written in capital letters.

Now if the OP had raised the question on the lines of Fab's profile size status (with no mention of FAT

) then the ensuing debate would have taken a different route.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a risk we take when we post on here, same as life really, but I have to admit that some folks do enjoy being agressive sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You also have to take in to consideration what type of site we are on. It's a free sex site where there is no real restrictions and what type of clientele that would attract? Granted there are many genuine nice people who are here for decent reasons. Just like POF is a free dating site you get all sorts of disrespectful people on there messaging horrible things and with no respect, but you do get quality too. Sadly there is no filter in the forums for this either.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Because we're anonymous? I could write nasty things about you and what's the worse that can happen? I'll get kicked off the site.

If this was real life, you could get beat up.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

If this was real life, you could get beat up. "

You as in I, btw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe they are jealous or sexualy frustrated. Doesnt matter who you are or what you do, there will always be somebody who will critisise you.

you expect people to be more broadminded on a swingers site but they arent much different from anyone else sometimes.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

What annoys me are those with their own preferences getting arsey about the choices of others, should it exclude them.

These people often expect people to justify not wanting to meet them, before adding "we're all here for the same thing!"

Err...no!

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By *plfromfifeCouple
over a year ago

levenmouth

Some people just can't help being negative. Doesn't matter what the subject. Some people are glass half full, others glass half empty and others who pissed in my glass. Be it through character jealousy or just pure spite. Take it with a pinch of salt. The only peoples opinions you should worry about are those you love and care for. Not anonymous randoms on a swingers site

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"maybe they are jealous or sexualy frustrated. Doesnt matter who you are or what you do, there will always be somebody who will critisise you.

you expect people to be more broadminded on a swingers site but they arent much different from anyone else sometimes."

There is no planet Swing, we're Joe Public so why would you think attitudes on here would be different?!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

you will see the people reacting to threads about certain types/preferences... and stating everyone is beautiful and ladies should be respected, etc etc etc.

then some of the same people will say the most shocking offensive and very sad statements about Susan Boyle, Camilla, Anne W and people in the public eye.

we are very selective when showing kindness and respecting feelings either on the internet, media

and other mediums.

Why, most is written for effect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"because we all like to think we're living up to some moral standards. So if we believe someone else is not... E.g someone's profile states bare back only, we like to tell them they're idiots for doing so..."

And that's your perogative ... but here's the point - that persons choice is theirs , and unless they asked for an opinion , why comment ?

The subject matter is not relevant , bareback , bi guy , size .... if someone asks for an opinion then fire away , but unsolicited judgement ?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"you will see the people reacting to threads about certain types/preferences... and stating everyone is beautiful and ladies should be respected, etc etc etc.

then some of the same people will say the most shocking offensive and very sad statements about Susan Boyle, Camilla, Anne W and people in the public eye.

we are very selective when showing kindness and respecting feelings either on the internet, media

and other mediums.

Why, most is written for effect."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will see the people reacting to threads about certain types/preferences... and stating everyone is beautiful and ladies should be respected, etc etc etc.

then some of the same people will say the most shocking offensive and very sad statements about Susan Boyle, Camilla, Anne W and people in the public eye.

we are very selective when showing kindness and respecting feelings either on the internet, media

and other mediums.

Why, most is written for effect."

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

"Its a risk we take when we post on here, same as life really, but I have to admit that some folks do enjoy being agressive sometimes."

Who the fuck are you calling aggressive?!?

. . .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

And that's your perogative ... but here's the point - that persons choice is theirs , and unless they asked for an opinion , why comment ?

The subject matter is not relevant , bareback , bi guy , size .... if someone asks for an opinion then fire away , but unsolicited judgement ?"

We all use the site differently. Some of us to meet and have fun with like minded people, others to trawl profiles and fire off vitriolic comments on others choices.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And that's your perogative ... but here's the point - that persons choice is theirs , and unless they asked for an opinion , why comment ?

The subject matter is not relevant , bareback , bi guy , size .... if someone asks for an opinion then fire away , but unsolicited judgement ?

We all use the site differently. Some of us to meet and have fun with like minded people, others to trawl profiles and fire off vitriolic comments on others choices.

Exactly ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its a risk we take when we post on here, same as life really, but I have to admit that some folks do enjoy being agressive sometimes.

Who the fuck are you calling aggressive?!?

. . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will see the people reacting to threads about certain types/preferences... and stating everyone is beautiful and ladies should be respected, etc etc etc.

then some of the same people will say the most shocking offensive and very sad statements about Susan Boyle, Camilla, Anne W and people in the public eye.

we are very selective when showing kindness and respecting feelings either on the internet, media

and other mediums.

Why, most is written for effect."

If susan Boyle and camilla were on here they'd be showered in compliments by the same shallow hypocrites you refer to. It's pathetic.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"you will see the people reacting to threads about certain types/preferences... and stating everyone is beautiful and ladies should be respected, etc etc etc.

then some of the same people will say the most shocking offensive and very sad statements about Susan Boyle, Camilla, Anne W and people in the public eye.

we are very selective when showing kindness and respecting feelings either on the internet, media

and other mediums.

Why, most is written for effect."

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite often a subject will hit a raw nerve with someone,so they think the best form of defense is to attack.

These forums are clearly full of double standards and hypocrisy,it's not a difficult equation to work out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You also get herd mentality (going along with popular consensus) or accusations of herd mentality/bullying if "cliques" don't agree with you.

Humans are such fascinating people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You also get herd mentality (going along with popular consensus) or accusations of herd mentality/bullying if "cliques" don't agree with you.

Humans are such fascinating people

animals are fascinating people too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's absurd someone can get a reputation for sleeping around on a swingers website lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you expect people to be more broadminded on a swingers site but they arent much different from anyone else sometimes."

I never get this statement, and lots on here use it. Why does me being a swinger mean I no longer have an opinion or my own moral compass? Judgement happens in all walks of life and for all different reasons so why should it be any different here? At a Village Bake Sale there will be judgement on the cakes in the competition and the methods the entrants use to bake...maybe even the cleanliness of their kitchen so it makes sense that on a swingers site people judge on sexual differences surely?

I'd never go out of my way to pass judgement on someone, but if someone posts something in the forums I don't agree with then I will say so. Admittedly some can be quite nasty with it and it isn't needed, and some of my comments may have been read in the same way, but it isn't any different to real life most of the time. Only difference is that behind a keyboard and an anonymous user name it can be easier to say what you think without feeling the need to sugar coat it like you might do face to face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few recent posts have voiced concern by what other users think about ' overactive ' folk on fab .

The vast majority of forumites have told the ops to ignore the judgemental people and to do whatever they like - your life , your choice , have fun and enjoy yourself .

That's all very well but we all get affected by any negative judgmental opinions , whether it's about the amount of meets , ones size , age , sexual preference , etc ....

because putting others down make them feel better, its usually a sign of insecurity I have found

I remember a while ago some lady posting a thread about her dog and asking advice on the PDSA as she had lost her job and was afraid she may not be able to afford the vet fee's, some of the replies were just shocking, telling her she should have a dog if she couldn't afford wet fee's and how the PDSA was over fun as it was without the likes of her using it etc of course all posted by top notch dog owners who took great delight in telling everyone how well they looked after their dogs

some people just take any opportunity to shoot people down, be it about sex relayed subjects or other wise and you see it more on here than in real life because we're all brave sat behind a keyboard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's all very well but we all get affected by any negative judgmental opinions , whether it's about the amount of meets , ones size , age , sexual preference , etc ....

If you own an insult or get affected by some anonymous judgement, whose fault is that?

My point is this - it's your choice to take on board what is said, or not.

Accept your initial reaction of hurt/ anger/ frustration/ feeling gobsmacked, then screw it all up like a piece of paper and fling into the wheeliebin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will see the people reacting to threads about certain types/preferences... and stating everyone is beautiful and ladies should be respected, etc etc etc.

then some of the same people will say the most shocking offensive and very sad statements about Susan Boyle, Camilla, Anne W and people in the public eye.

we are very selective when showing kindness and respecting feelings either on the internet, media

and other mediums.

Why, most is written for effect.

If susan Boyle and camilla were on here they'd be showered in compliments by the same shallow hypocrites you refer to. It's pathetic. "

Yes they probably would, lots of people on here dont look much better than they do.

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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago

Leeds.

"A few recent posts have voiced concern by what other users think about ' overactive ' folk on fab .

The vast majority of forumites have told the ops to ignore the judgemental people and to do whatever they like - your life , your choice , have fun and enjoy yourself .

That's all very well but we all get affected by any negative judgmental opinions , whether it's about the amount of meets , ones size , age , sexual preference , etc ....

Many peolpe with low self esteem put others down as a way of making themselves feel better. Some just think they are God's and above everyone. Some are just plain bitter.

There are a few people on fab with low self esteem's. Hence the number of "look at me" threads fishing for compliments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

anonymity and free speech

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it quite ironic that on a swinging site folk feel its ok to judge other peoples preferences and how they conduct themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would you kiss the one above.............................oooops wrong thread

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