FabSwingers.com forum: Feeling ugly

By *angerpoint OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will be watching for tips .I think most of us feel like this from time to time but sometimes its hard work getting through it. Don't forget your other half is telling you your lovely....believe him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, Huge hugs to you, being a woman is a bloody nightmare sometimes.

I would have a lovely bath, put on something that you feel good wearing, make your hair and make up nice and remind yourself all day long that your sexy as hell x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think if you are feeling vulnerability around your looks, swinging can help... you will get lots of lovely comments that will possibly help restore your self confidence.

take some with the level of insincerity they may be given with.

there will be a balance, that swinging can also widen any insecurities and that is the risk you need to consider. Chat thro with your partner.

all the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, Huge hugs to you, being a woman is a bloody nightmare sometimes.

I would have a lovely bath, put on something that you feel good wearing, make your hair and make up nice and remind yourself all day long that your sexy as hell x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly how you feel unfortunately I don't have a lovely hubby to make me feel better! just remember no matter how bad you feel firstly someone always looks worse, horrible sounding I know but always makes me feel a little better. and I always find sometimes writing down how I feel and writing down if I need to make any changes and how to do it. I did that and decided I needed to lose weight. joint slimming world and now 19lbs lighter I am feeling a lot better. no where near done yet but I am seeing differences and my confidence is sky high but I still have my bad days! x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't really matter what anyone else says to you, you will only feel good if you yourself feel good from within.

Try to focus on something positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself of that thing.

And as above pamper yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi. Ive been feeling the same too recently. Especially as ive put on a stone and cant seem to lose it. But im eating healthy and today I shall be having a long bath, moisterising and pampering my body before going out to book appointments to get my hair and nails done next week. X x

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By *angerpoint OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Thankyou for your advice and kind words. Weve been swinging for a couple of years now but recently Ive started to get really nervous about going on meets or to clubs. I know its down to not really liking how I look. I think Im afraid of rejection.

Thanks again it means alot xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx"

Only people who never feel insecure about their looks are probably so conceited that they arnt very nice on the inside.

It's natural to feel this way, especially as we get older.

Do you exercise ?it will make you slowly feel better about yourself not only because you'll be proud of the results of your hard work but it also releases chemicals into the body that lift your mood .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes lovely lovely pampering, preferably at a local beauty salon does it for me. Be selfish and have some "me" time. I personally would not be thinking about meeting though whilst I felt like this....recipe for disaster for me, but different strokes for different folks.

All the best

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

your pix look great .. dont beat yourself up .. we all get insecure some time .. cheer up and enjoy your husband x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

All looks good to me

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By *obbobeanMan
over a year ago

dagenham

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx"

You look fine to me Mrs D, but to enforce your feeling of worth, have a meet with a few young well hung studs and see how they enjoy playing with you. Of and believe your hubby xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

omg you look delightful your husband is right. Please don't give in to media pressure that a woman has to look a certain way to be attractive. Be yourself love yourself that is attractive in it's self. You are HOT HOT HOT

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. xxx"

8*******************

On a lighter side lucky you.. My OH says I am fat and old .. LOL..

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By *angerpoint OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Thanks everyone pamper day it is. hopefully a good soak and a bit of relaxation will sort me out. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx"

Maybe take a break, a breather and get your partner to concentrate on you and making you feel wanted and desired by him?

Swinging when you're feeling insecure about yourself can sometimes exacerbate those feelings and lead to bad experiences because of your inner feelings...especially if you're meeting others that your partner finds attractive...that inner voice just gets a bit loud...

Hope you can work it out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". I think Im afraid of rejection.

Rejection is only personal if we give it permission to be. Insults can only hurt us if we choose to own them.

Work from within as Julie suggested. If there are things you can change about yourself then try if it will make you feel better otherwise you have to learn to accept yourself as you are. For me my weight gain = unsightly hips, stomach and thighs, but great boobs so guess which bits I have learned to hide/enhance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again."

I don't think you should rely on anyone to make you feel sexy, make yourself feel sexy and that will shine through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

join a gym and try some classes out. Zumba is meant to be fun in a group

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx"

I know the feeling, John is always great & spends most of his life reassuring me & other larger ladies he photographs how good they look lol.

If i am going out its usually trying on 3 dresses or more first so you are quite normal, your pics look great so i don't think you will have any complaints x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again.

I don't think you should rely on anyone to make you feel sexy, make yourself feel sexy and that will shine through."

Wise words again. If you rely on others to make you feel a certain way, then others still can take that away. If you feel good from within then you'll brave any external knockbacks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again.

I don't think you should rely on anyone to make you feel sexy, make yourself feel sexy and that will shine through."

Oh I do usually, just sometimes (today) I could do with a man to tell me I am sexy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again.

I don't think you should rely on anyone to make you feel sexy, make yourself feel sexy and that will shine through.

Oh I do usually, just sometimes (today) I could do with a man to tell me I am sexy."

Your butt avatar is fantastic... Swap?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have our moments, I know I am far from perfect, but us flawed human beings can be a rather beautiful collection of flaws and that is a kind of beauty in itself..

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If you trust and respect your OH then it's time to start trusting and respecting his opinion of you.

Just because you look in the mirror and don't like what you see doesn't mean he's wrong. It is possible to know that someone finds you incredibly sexy and also know that you've got wobbly bits you'd prefer not to have. Teach yourself to accept compliments with good grace and instead of rushing to deny them or disparage say thank you and look your complimenter in the eye as you do. That way you'll be able to determine who is just saying something nice and who really means what they are saying. And you will be pleasantly amazed!

We're British, we don't offer excessive compliments, most are genuinely meant.

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"Thankyou for your advice and kind words. Weve been swinging for a couple of years now but recently Ive started to get really nervous about going on meets or to clubs. I know its down to not really liking how I look. I think Im afraid of rejection.

Thanks again it means alot xxx"

As I said to you, if you have been swinging already for a few years, then obviously your body and face have something to offer I'm sure. Now if a man/woman/couple rejects you, then there will be two or three more people who will want you. Just be yourself xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I think it aint none of us pure crazy and aint none of us pure sane until the balance of us talks him that-a-way. It’s like it aint so much what a fellow does, but it’s the way the majority of folks is looking at him when he does it.

William Faulkner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx"

its a horrible feeling isn't it? I have not had a meet in 7 months because of it, its not that i don't want to meet its just lately the thought of being naked infront if anyone fills me with dread, i just keep thinking when i talk to people, they wont like me so why bother wasting their tine meeting, the lack of sex is driving me nuts tho lol i joined fat camp a couple of weeks ago I'm hoping when i loose some weight i may feel better about myself to start meeting again, i just cant face it at the moment looking the way i do

there's no answer or cure its just self believe, you either have it or you don't x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If it's just a temporary thing, then showing yourself the lighter side of life will help brighten things up for you. If issues run a little deeper, then I'd recommend a more concerted effort to get at the root of things. As your other half is so loving, then spend time really opening up, and perhaps ask him not to just immediately try to reassure you for every 'issue', worry or fear that you have. We sometimes need to get them out in the open: perhaps even with a counselor.

As someone above said, the media and fashion/health industry imposed image of what we 'should' look like is just a fantasy. We're best when we accept ourselves for the pot of gold that we are.

If underneath you have some pain, or something troubling you, then that's likely not to go away, until healed. Love of course helps. Keeping away from sources of troubling hassle, such as people who will force their _iews on you, put others down etc, is also important.

Overall, keep the pampering and open yourself to the love that's out there. And get some good sex with guys who'll really appreciate what you have to offer - but only at your own pace, and if you'll desist from putting yourself down or concern yourself if you're really good/beautiful/slim/hot enough - you are!!

Big hugs to you !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again.

I don't think you should rely on anyone to make you feel sexy, make yourself feel sexy and that will shine through.

Wise words again. If you rely on others to make you feel a certain way, then others still can take that away. If you feel good from within then you'll brave any external knockbacks.

Yes indeed, self esteem is a difficult one as you fight demons within, a perceived knock back or even a slight comment can make a person loose theirs.

However I am a great believer in you yourself can only restore your confidence, sometimes it takes a while and often just little by little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big huge hugs to you.

Tackling any insecurity will make you stronger, that's why we have them I'm sure. Put your energies into all the good things you feel about yourself, eventually the negatives will dwindle and bugger off .... We are, after all, our own worst critics.

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By *angerpoint OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Thank you for your lovely posts and wonderful words of wisdom. Thankyou also to those that messaged privately. Im going to pamper myself, get glammed up and enjoy the weekend. Going to start a new exercise regime tomorrow and look forward to the future. I feel very humbled by you all and Thanks Again xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you for your lovely posts and wonderful words of wisdom. Thankyou also to those that messaged privately. Im going to pamper myself, get glammed up and enjoy the weekend. Going to start a new exercise regime tomorrow and look forward to the future. I feel very humbled by you all and Thanks Again xxxx"

Let us know how you get on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys Im having a really crappy time at the moment and feel very insecure about the way I look. I feel fat and old but the hubby says Im lovely. What do you do to overcome these types of feelings.

Im trying to lose weight and just need a bit of an incentive. Please be kind.

Mrs Dangerpoint xxx"

You look Fab in your photos, I fabbed a couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am feeling the same today, need a good man to make me feel sexy again.

I don't think you should rely on anyone to make you feel sexy, make yourself feel sexy and that will shine through.

Oh I do usually, just sometimes (today) I could do with a man to tell me I am sexy.

Your butt avatar is fantastic... Swap?

Lol thanks.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

hugs to you .. as long as your husband thinks you are beautiful you are fine

after one recent knockback I know how you feel I felt ugly.. fat and rather stupid but now I realise im worth 10 of him

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