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Am I wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use chat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I had something like this recently.

Decided the guy had an any hole is a goal mentality and stopped seeing him.

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By *usie pTV/TS
over a year ago

taunton

I think you are probably spot on, more fool him, I would move on plenty more young guys will want you and great you know what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just move on and learn the lessons, sadly. Because you can drive yourself nuts trying to figure it all out.

Unless you really like this guy and you want a friendship / relationship with him its probably not worth your time and effort trying to reason out why things happen the way they do. Swinging is a funny old game and it can mess with your self-confidence if you let it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

go with your gut feel....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a strange meet like this once. I think he was embarrassed that he'd met a BBW. I'd advise to block him on your phone/here and move onwards and upward. He's not worth wasting your time over x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had something like this recently.

Decided the guy had an any hole is a goal mentality and stopped seeing him.

"

OCH...but I like fannies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use chat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct "

in seriousness, its offputting for future re-meets when someone doesnt show ur verification, its not something I bring up on the remeets...but I do think...'are they embarrassed meeting me?'...if its about a verification I've left thats full of erors,too graphic etc..then I can understand lol,but thats fixable...if she re-opens her flaps to me again

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

maybe he doesnt want a huge list of veris on his profile as this puts some people off. i certainly to not verify every guy i meet and tend only to send a veri if the guy asks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess that it's indeed the _iew that it might spoil their chances, that younger women might take a dim _iew of lads who also meet a more mature woman.

It used to confuse me and it didn't feel brilliant, but now I don't care.

If it feels mutually good, then there's nothing wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/10/13 15:54:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess that it's indeed the _iew that it might spoil their chances, that younger women might take a dim _iew of lads who also meet a more mature woman.

It used to confuse me and it didn't feel brilliant, but now I don't care.

If it feels mutually good, then there's nothing wrong."

I generally detest anyone checking out my preferences ...so quick note

they can fuck off

simple as..I'm not desperate for meets and I have a flexible attitude..just not so flexible to fuckiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regardless right or wrong, the gent involved has yet to air his side of the story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't nice to discuss with other people who you have met, and can cause problems, I would never give or ask for verifications for this very reason, I mostly meet " straight guys " and they wouldn't want anyone knowing they had been with me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fair points from all of you thanks for the advice looks like block and move on then, stick with who I know actually likes me for me bumps and wobbly bits included lol, cheers peeps

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use chat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct "

How do you know he shows all other veris but yours? Obviously, if he doesn't show them then how can you know?

Personally, I've been in the same situation as that guy... I'm young also...

I wouldn't think into it too much though. I also don't show all of mg veris because I simply choose the ones I want people to see. Not because I don't like a particular woman or anything like that.

Sometimes, there is no meaning of a guys actions.

Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use chat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct

How do you know he shows all other veris but yours? Obviously, if he doesn't show them then how can you know?

Personally, I've been in the same situation as that guy... I'm young also...

I wouldn't think into it too much though. I also don't show all of mg veris because I simply choose the ones I want people to see. Not because I don't like a particular woman or anything like that.

Sometimes, there is no meaning of a guys actions.

Xx"

Fair point but you can see the veris on his profile, maybe I'm overthinking it could be right he keeps trying to come back, persistant bugger lol probably would not bother me as much if I didn't like him so much, in hindsight that's probably the problem maybe I'm forming an emotional attachment, cheers for your comments I think the problems mine not his, number 1 rule might be in question don't get emotionally involved, definately time to stop meeting him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well he does always want to go back to you so I think you must therefore be very a sexy woman, if he generally sees slim younger women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too would probably be very annoyed if someone contacts one of the gents I had played with to make enquiries about me or the meet itself.

However it will not happen as I have the good sense to hide my friends list and veris from Day 1.

If I were contacted via a veri I had left for a gent, I would tell the enquirer to mind his/her/their business, before blocking them and informing the gent involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sounds like a dick. Block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you messaged another woman this guy had met to agree with her that you was not impressed with him. I can see why he got upset to be honest.

Did you ask him why he did not display yours?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I too would probably be very annoyed if someone contacts one of the gents I had played with to make enquiries about me or the meet itself.

However it will not happen as I have the good sense to hide my friends list and veris from Day 1.

If I were contacted via a veri I had left for a gent, I would tell the enquirer to mind his/her/their business, before blocking them and informing the gent involved.

"

Probably should of clarified that she told me about her meet with him, the only thing I confirmed was that yes I'd met him, never discussed with her what occurred between us other than he's a lovely lad, I don't show my veris, not bothered that he doesn't show mine as such was more bothered by his reaction that someone knew we'd met even though I hadn't nor wouldn't confirm more than we'd chatted sorry if it came across differently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I check out a mans veris to see if I would be his type (after a recent slightly bad experience) for example if they are all slim or older I might be hesitant to meet, but would never contact anyone to ask about him.

I'm on the larger side and have decided to take the approach that if they won't have a social in public with me or are cold with me (no flirting etc) then it could be a sign they are embarrassed.

There is a saying 'Fat girls are like scooters, everyone wants to ride one but not be seen with one' luckily for every man with that mentality there are quite a few that don't care or love to be seen with larger women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So you messaged another woman this guy had met to agree with her that you was not impressed with him. I can see why he got upset to be honest.

Did you ask him why he did not display yours?

"

Sorry no she contacted me regarding him as he displayed a webcam veri of mine, I haven't and don't contact other peoples meets to discuss or find out about them, it's just his reaction that gave me cause for concern, sorry if I was giving the wrong impression should of clarified that

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By *erendipity99Woman
over a year ago

Runcorn


"I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use chat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct "

I think you are correct. Why does he only hide your veri? Forget him and move onto somebody nice.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Ahhh verifications. The minefield of Fab.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

So we all know that two out of three meets weren't great, he's shown one verification of yours and he didn't like you talking to someone else he'd met. Do you think he might be right to be concerned about your ability to be discreet?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

What does it matter why he doesn't want to show your Veri? You said he was a shit shag anyway!!

This type of Veri stalking and over analysing and starting threads about it is what makes people think women are needy and can't do NSA.

I dint think I ever checked if a meet displayed a verification I left for them.

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"So we all know that two out of three meets weren't great, he's shown one verification of yours and he didn't like you talking to someone else he'd met. Do you think he might be right to be concerned about your ability to be discreet?

"

I get the impression he didn't show her verification, (might be wrong). Otherwise I think she should move one, sounds like a bit of an arse, it goes with age generally

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So we all know that two out of three meets weren't great, he's shown one verification of yours and he didn't like you talking to someone else he'd met. Do you think he might be right to be concerned about your ability to be discreet?

I get the impression he didn't show her verification, (might be wrong). Otherwise I think she should move one, sounds like a bit of an arse, it goes with age generally"

No he showed a webcam verification and as it isn't him complaining about her in the forums behind her back I wouldn't be calling him an arse.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Maybe he'll come in to the thread and defend himself. Like the last time a similar sort of thread arose.

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"So we all know that two out of three meets weren't great, he's shown one verification of yours and he didn't like you talking to someone else he'd met. Do you think he might be right to be concerned about your ability to be discreet?

I get the impression he didn't show her verification, (might be wrong). Otherwise I think she should move one, sounds like a bit of an arse, it goes with age generally

No he showed a webcam verification and as it isn't him complaining about her in the forums behind her back I wouldn't be calling him an arse."

Sorry, don't get so uptight, web cam veris are a waste of time anyway, just people having a wank. No better than the phone ones they've now thankfully got rid of. If people don't meet, it's not real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he doesn't want to look like he meets married woman?

You could spend ages trying to figure it out and never actually figure it out.

Why bother wasting your time and move on.

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Maybe he doesn't want to look like he meets married woman?

You could spend ages trying to figure it out and never actually figure it out.

Why bother wasting your time and move on."

But block him first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So we all know that two out of three meets weren't great, he's shown one verification of yours and he didn't like you talking to someone else he'd met. Do you think he might be right to be concerned about your ability to be discreet?

"

Sorry no she contacted me regarding him as he displayed a webcam veri of mine, I haven't and don't contact other peoples meets to discuss or find out about them, it's just his reaction that gave me cause for concern, sorry if I was giving the wrong impression should of clarified that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What does it matter why he doesn't want to show your Veri? You said he was a shit shag anyway!!

This type of Veri stalking and over analysing and starting threads about it is what makes people think women are needy and can't do NSA.

I dint think I ever checked if a meet displayed a verification I left for them. "

Response I posted earlier your probably right read below

Fair point but you can see the veris on his profile, maybe I'm overthinking it could be right he keeps trying to come back, persistant bugger lol probably would not bother me as much if I didn't like him so much, in hindsight that's probably the problem maybe I'm forming an emotional attachment, cheers for your comments I think the problems mine not his, number 1 rule might be in question don't get emotionally involved, definately time to stop meeting him

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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago

Leeds.

Never doubt yourself or put yourself down for the sake of someone else x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 14/10/13 07:12:12]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So we all know that two out of three meets weren't great, he's shown one verification of yours and he didn't like you talking to someone else he'd met. Do you think he might be right to be concerned about your ability to be discreet?

Sorry no she contacted me regarding him as he displayed a webcam veri of mine, I haven't and don't contact other peoples meets to discuss or find out about them, it's just his reaction that gave me cause for concern, sorry if I was giving the wrong impression should of clarified that "

My reference to discretion was concerning you discussing him on the forums and telling us two out of three meets were crap that's indiscreet on your part.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Maybe he'll come in to the thread and defend himself. Like the last time a similar sort of thread arose."

In some ways I wish he would but in others I really don't.

If a situation arose where we had done something a person we'd met was unhappy with I really hope they'd contact us before discussing it publicly. After all we'd be the best ones to explain why we'd done what we did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He sounds like a dick. Block and move on"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use chat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct "

maybe its your own insecurities that have made you feel like this,with you saying she was a slim lady, I dont think that has much to do with showing verifications.

with you also being an attached lady should you really being getting emotional involved with someone? ?

if this was an attached guy sayin this on here he would be hung drawn and quartered,

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By *ree8iveMan
over a year ago

CORNWALL


"I met a what I thought was nice young lad on here he did a lot of work/chat to persuade me to meet him, first meet was amazing, 2nd was decidedly poor, thought maybe due to outdoor nerves etc so attempted 3rd meet slightly better not great, used to use Ichat a lot he'd shown a webcam veri I left him, chatted to female friend who'd also met him, she wasn't overly impressed with her meet, but then he messaged me going mental because I dared to tell her we'd met, I'm 42 and large lady he's early 20's exceptional fitness other lady is late 20's very slim, my conclusion to his reaction is he's actually embarrassed that he's met me, however still contacts me regularly for repeat meets all of which I have declined but one where I met and explained how I thought he felt and how subsequently his reaction made me feel, he denies that it's embarrassment, just a privacy thing but shows all other verifications other than mine, please tell me I'm not being paranoid and my thinking is correct "

Looking at the your post, I think he's been a bit immature and stupid and you've got a bit of a crush, with subsequent over analysis!

This guy did a lot of running to secure a meet, I suspect you were flattered in quite a few ways..then didn't quite perform on the next cpl meets..which gets you thinking maybe that's your fault..as an older, curvy lady..he didn't find you sexy, etc, etc..all the crazy stuff you ladies run through your minds.

Then the rant from him after you talked to another of his meets...and the no show of your veri.

I think it mainly comes down to him feeling embarrassed because he didn't perform on a cpl of meets and you deciding it was probably your fault because you are older and curvy!

Now he feels bad..maybe trying to repair the damage by still chatting..but sounds

like the bridge is pretty charred, if not quite burnt..

Personally, I think you should remember the good bits, forget the bad bits and move on...plenty of sexy guys here!

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why leave a cam verify when you had meet him a few times...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It isn't nice to discuss with other people who you have met, and can cause problems, I would never give or ask for verifications for this very reason, I mostly meet " straight guys " and they wouldn't want anyone knowing they had been with me."

Now that's one of the reasons I don't meet "straight men". If I've let someone stick their dick in me and do some proper filthy stuff to me, I'd like acknowledgement of that fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had two blokes in my time here on the site that didnt want the veri i left them,and they didnt leave me one either.i guessed too,that they were not keen on ppl knowing they had actually played with a lady of my age and size.not a nice feeling,but hey move on sod em.their loss.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

There are lots of reasons people don't show verifications. Maybe it wasn't one they wanted to display because it was too clingy (Iddon't want to share him but I must etc), maybe he had sacked someone off to meet you so didn't want it known he had met someone else, maybe he hadn't seen the veriw maybe he thought one was enough as he already had a webcam one from you. To automatically assume it's because of your sizzle is a reflection on you, not him.

Don't obsess over it ffs just move on. Thou got to meet a fit twinkie a few times fir shit sex. He let you escape your marriage foe a few minutes of not very good pleasure. Perhaps you thought he would be the night that took you away from your life and so got emotionally attached to him. Lesson learnt, to survive this game, especially in your situation, you must separate sex from emotions.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"Maybe he'll come in to the thread and defend himself. Like the last time a similar sort of thread arose.

In some ways I wish he would but in others I really don't.

If a situation arose where we had done something a person we'd met was unhappy with I really hope they'd contact us before discussing it publicly. After all we'd be the best ones to explain why we'd done what we did."

That would be FAR too logical for this place. Surely you know this by now

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By *iss69Man
over a year ago

Knutsford

Ave met a few ppl off here and not always left a veri and nor have they, I thought if people are already verified they don't need any more, never thought much off it, until reading your post, no reflection on the person or how the meet went by me not verifying or getting verified well that's what I thought, prob been crap meets lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say don't dwell on it move on as there plenty more swingers in the sea

His loss at the end of the day and someones gain. You will find a decent gent to enjoy yourself with on a regular occasion that I am sure of xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being brutally honest here but why on earth are you even the remotest bit surprised that a fit 20 something guy does not want anyone to know he has been with a 40+ BBW?

The vast majority of guys on here would fuck the crack of dawn if they could get up early enough and there is no way they would want anyone to actually find that out.

That is an absolute no fuckin brainer!

If you want to have meaningful fun on here you need to use the site as it was designed.

The veri system is a fantastic way to find people who like to meet 'you'. Plenty of young guys like mature BBW's and happily display that via their veri's so change your selection process.

Failing that stand by to get fucked and fucked over again and again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe he'll come in to the thread and defend himself. Like the last time a similar sort of thread arose.

In some ways I wish he would but in others I really don't.

If a situation arose where we had done something a person we'd met was unhappy with I really hope they'd contact us before discussing it publicly. After all we'd be the best ones to explain why we'd done what we did.

That would be FAR too logical for this place. Surely you know this by now "

Have contacted him regarding this as previously stated

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