FabSwingers.com forum: Bi Male Stigma

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So this is a liberal site full of like minded open people but my question is this.. Is there still the stigma for guys to be openly bi. It is totally accepted for ladies, but for men in society not so much.

Am i wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ubberdollieWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

Totally and utterly and hopelessly WRONG! Please search through last weeks threads and you will find loads of women, myself included, who want to know the bi guys ! So don't lose any sleep fella over those who don't and have fun with us who do

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Doesn't help the men themselves don't embrace their sexuality. How do you expect acceptance when you don't accept yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally and utterly and hopelessly WRONG! Please search through last weeks threads and you will find loads of women, myself included, who want to know the bi guys ! So don't lose any sleep fella over those who don't and have fun with us who do

You didn't read his post properly.

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

I think it is still frowned upon the amount of guys that message us and say their profile says straight because they can't get meets if they say bi on profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe some think if don't do it a lot they are not BI ..? or if a man have a wig and dress on don't make them bi ? or if just suck and don't do more they are only half Bi . ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this bi guy thing has been discussed at length.

Is there a stigmata around bi guys, probably was but now less.

There will always be people who are more or less inclined towards elements of sexuality but I would say that people are not particularly anti bi guys anymore.

A straight guy not wanting a bi guy to join him and his wife is fair enough.

I bet there's more people who would regale against water sports ( probably myself included) but that doesn't mean I think less of those for whom being on, is pleasurable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe it's more accepted now.. The kiddies seem to be experimenting quite openly in the schools from a pretty young age now.. The taboo is now pretty mainstream

Not quite sure how I feel about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The very fact that so many bi males have straight on their profiles,proves beyond doubt that the OP is correct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The profiles who don't want to meet bi guy, are the ones who are likely to be male led profile, who only wants to meet single women for 3sums...

I more straight than bi, but do enjoy some bi fun in a 3 or more sum....and dont jump on men in the least

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

There is still a stigma - read through any of those threads and you'll also find folk who think bi guys are just after the Mr's arse, will fuck anything that moves, are riddled with clap and play bare all the time (as well as those that simply don't find the thought of MM sexual interaction attractive)...you even tell the OP to not lose sleep over those who don't like bi guys so obviously there's still something...I agree however that the OP should just concentrate on those who do like bi guys (me, me, me, me) and don't change just to meet someone else's criteria - for everyone that doesn't wanna meet bi men there's one who does

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Yes I still think there's a stigma even though LOTS of women like myself who enjoy seeing male bi play and being part of a male MMF.

At clubs, for example, bi women don't need 'special nights' to play - they can do it openly whenever, wherever. Men, on the other hand, usually have to wait for bi nights or if they are able to discreetly find another bi guy, play tends to be conducted behind locked doors for fear of 'offending' someone.

Hopefully things will gradually change and male bi play will become as acceptable as female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But is the whole point that if some people are not happy with a guy being bi, then they are not really for them. To say straight so as to get meets with people who wouldn't meet a bi guy is a touch, well actually wholly deceptive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But is the whole point that if some people are not happy with a guy being bi, then they are not really for them. To say straight so as to get meets with people who wouldn't meet a bi guy is a touch, well actually wholly deceptive."

^ This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there must still be a stigma attached to it as so many guys on here are 'bi on the sly' ...

I personally am more likely to meet a bi guy but only if its stated on his profile, that way I know he is comfortable with his sexuality and not hiding anything from anybody

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I personally don't care if there's a stigma to it...

I used to smoke for 16 years and am quite used to being a leper

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

^ This "

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I think the only stigma is in the minds of the sly bi guys themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having 'curious' and a clear explanation on my profile has never caused me any grief in meeting people - straight, curious or bi!

If people were a little more honest and open about themselves they may see a benefit, rather than any negative impact on their life on site!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Having 'curious' and a clear explanation on my profile has never caused me any grief in meeting people - straight, curious or bi!

If people were a little more honest and open about themselves they may see a benefit, rather than any negative impact on their life on site!

Exactly, as those not wanting to meet you won't, and absolutely no skin off your nose as you're balls deep having a whale of a time with like minded people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I still think there's a stigma even though LOTS of women like myself who enjoy seeing male bi play and being part of a male MMF.

Hopefully things will gradually change and male bi play will become as acceptable as female."

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

From my experience when I've been out and about I think different sexual boundaries will become more acceptable over time.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Speaking as a straight male, I do see a lot of straight guys pretty pissed off about bi guys messaging them, almost as if it is some affront to their sexuality. I have never understood this, who cares? If i get asked on here or elsewhere then I decline with good humour and wish the chap well. A sexual preference is never a good reason to be prejudice.

Ladies do not seem to be so 'hung up' about it, all IMO obviously.

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

There defiantly is a stigma attached to bi guys. As a bi female I have never had a man not wanting to play with me for being bi, but they are so many people who would never entertain the thought of a bi male.

I can go in any swinging club, whatever the theme maybe that day, and play anywhere I choose with a lady without anyone saying, bi night is tomorrow or, do you mind doing that behind clothes doors?

I agree society has become more accepting, but still has a long way to go. Why should bi men not be allowed to play unless bi night and made to feel uncomfortable in clubs unlike bi women? Do people honestly believe it's okay to treat bi men different? If people see men playing and they don't like it, then why not walk on by? No one is forcing anyone to watch.

Swinging/clubs is one place you would expect people to be more open minded, be able to express your sexuality, and accepting to people whatever sex they choose to play with.

Don't bother waste your time on anyone who doesn't want to meet/play because of your sexuality. Enjoy the ones who accept you for who you are

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There defiantly is a stigma attached to bi guys. As a bi female I have never had a man not wanting to play with me for being bi, but they are so many people who would never entertain the thought of a bi male.

I can go in any swinging club, whatever the theme maybe that day, and play anywhere I choose with a lady without anyone saying, bi night is tomorrow or, do you mind doing that behind clothes doors?

Swinging/clubs is one place you would expect people to be more open minded, be able to express your sexuality, and accepting to people whatever sex they choose to play with.

Don't bother waste your time on anyone who doesn't want to meet/play because of your sexuality. Enjoy the ones who accept you for who you are

Fantastic answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The very fact that so many bi males have straight on their profiles,proves beyond doubt that the OP is correct."

No that just proves not open and honest about themselves.

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

A single fem local to me states her reason for not meeting bi guys is that she has children not sure what she meant by it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A single fem local to me states her reason for not meeting bi guys is that she has children not sure what she meant by it"

Isn't it obvious??? us bi guys will bring disease death and famine to the said family

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

"The very fact that so many bi males have straight on their profiles,proves beyond doubt that the OP is correct.

No that just proves not open and honest about themselves."

Ask yourself why bi men are not always honest. Most guys that hide it, do so as they know people would be put off. A female does not have to pretend to be straight to avoid people not wanting to meet.

Honesty is the best policy and I personally wouldn't hide my sexuality, or either want to give someone the pleasure of myself if I knew they had a problem with it. As some people do hold such a negative _iew of bi men, can you really blame them for not wanting to tell? If people where more accepting, people would feel more comfortable being honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The very fact that so many bi males have straight on their profiles,proves beyond doubt that the OP is correct.

No that just proves not open and honest about themselves.

Liz drop me a message please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think society will ever be totally accepting of bi men or women. There is still a 'stigma' around being a bi woman in some places. People seem to forget that. Just because it's cool to be bi on here doesn't mean it is everywhere!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I carry no stigma, I stand proud as a bisexual man and that will never cease.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I don't want to have sex with people who would be uncomfortable because of my sexuality, sex is about all of us being relaxed, engaged and maximising enjoyment for all parties.

I have the utmost respect for choice and the honesty some people have in their statement of requirement. It is cool.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I can go in any swinging club, whatever the theme maybe that day, and play anywhere I choose with a lady without anyone saying, bi night is tomorrow or, do you mind doing that behind clothes doors?

Swinging/clubs is one place you would expect people to be more open minded, be able to express your sexuality, and accepting to people whatever sex they choose to play with.

Don't bother waste your time on anyone who doesn't want to meet/play because of your sexuality. Enjoy the ones who accept you for who you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't want to have sex with people who would be uncomfortable because of my sexuality, sex is about all of us being relaxed, engaged and maximising enjoyment for all parties.

I have the utmost respect for choice and the honesty some people have in their statement of requirement. It is cool.

The last statement you wrote View

Which is why we prefer not to meet guys who aren't open about being bi. As a bi couple we appeal to some and not to others. I can't understand people wanting to meet with others who have a preference not to meet with them ! How very un-horny. We acknowkedge and respect we don't appeal to everyone. The only time I have ever felt a little awkward about mr notts being bi was at a party where some guy was mouthing off about how many faggotts were on the scene. He must have assumed be was surrounded by straight guys for some reason. The party organisers had seen our profile so they knew we were bi. I sat there thinking, oh shit this could kick off - thankfully the conversation changed. We ended up soft playing with a nice couple. But they were also a bit odd when we contacted them on here to start with and I assumed it was because they'd seen mr notts was bi and that hadnt come up in conversation during the evening. Perhaps I can get him a hat with a flashing light on next time to pre warn others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doesn't help the men themselves don't embrace their sexuality. How do you expect acceptance when you don't accept yourself?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't want to have sex with people who would be uncomfortable because of my sexuality, sex is about all of us being relaxed, engaged and maximising enjoyment for all parties.

I have the utmost respect for choice and the honesty some people have in their statement of requirement. It is cool.

The last statement you wrote View

I'm not sure i'd have shown such restraint

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By *obbobeanMan
over a year ago

dagenham

"Doesn't help the men themselves don't embrace their sexuality. How do you expect acceptance when you don't accept yourself?"

You have hit the nail on the head Miss tress. I'm an openly bi guy (well on here anyway) and have had lots of meets with women and of course men. I still got messages on a daily basis from guys who have "straight" on their profiles and lots from guys who have a couples profile, professing to actually being bi. If so put it in your profile. The old excuse of it will stop women wanting to meet me don't wash any more sorry

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

"I don't think society will ever be totally accepting of bi men or women. There is still a 'stigma' around being a bi woman in some places. People seem to forget that. Just because it's cool to be bi on here doesn't mean it is everywhere!"

Society will never 100% accept everything, and yes in some places both bi/gay men and females have exactly the same issues regarding sexuality. It should in no way undermine the fact that's it's still a big issue with it here. Isn't this country about equal rights?

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

In ancient sparta men were forbidden to have intercourse with women until they were 25 in the training camps the trainees had sex with the instructors Polly bi relationship was common. I may have red that or made it up your choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a conversation I overheard one night at a swingers club between a guy and a couple. They were talking about bi males and the guy was saying how he wouldn't have sex with a woman who he knew had had sex with a bi-male.

I felt like getting up and informing him that the woman he had had sex with 30 mins before and gone back to for a blowjob happened to be my wife and that I was bi but I didn't feel like humilating him in front of his friends.

I've been called a disease carrier by a gay man before because I'm bi and judging by all the profiles I see saying no bi men I'd say yes there is.

That said I'm not disturbed by the lack of meets I may have had at least I'm honest and give people the choice to say no

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By *iPeopleMan
over a year ago

London

Great thread

And I find this report very helpful

http://www.open.ac.uk/platform/news-and-features/the-bisexuality-report-–-the-first-its-kind-in-the-uk-–-published

Our group is explicitly bi and for folks who are exploring as well as confident

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Great thread

And I find this report very helpful

http://www.open.ac.uk/platform/news-and-features/the-bisexuality-report-–-the-first-its-kind-in-the-uk-–-published

Our group is explicitly bi and for folks who are exploring as well as confident"

Thanks for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over last 15 yrs I have been on several sites, I have never come across a more narrow minded, judgemental, ego centred set of people in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Over last 15 yrs I have been on several sites, I have never come across a more narrow minded, judgemental, ego centred set of people in my life."

Why stay then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over last 15 yrs I have been on several sites, I have never come across a more narrow minded, judgemental, ego centred set of people in my life.

Why stay then?"

Because lots of my friends use the site, and I have made many new friends,

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"The very fact that so many bi males have straight on their profiles,proves beyond doubt that the OP is correct.

No that just proves not open and honest about themselves.

I don't meet bi guys for the same reason I don't meet married men: they can't play the way *I* like! The ones *I've* met have enjoyed anal and dressing up. That doesn't do it for me. A straight male, reluctant, embarrassed but compliant does. A married man with his demands of no marking, no perfume is not for me either.

I've sent men packing when they've not reacted and admitted they were bi: absolutely nothing to do with stigma.

Personally I don't know why people lie to meet people not interested in them when there are thousands who will!

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

"The very fact that so many bi males have straight on their profiles,proves beyond doubt that the OP is correct.

No that just proves not open and honest about themselves.

I've sent men packing when they've not reacted and admitted they were bi: absolutely nothing to do with stigma.

Personally I don't know why people lie to meet people not interested in them when there are thousands who will!

I understand your point on not being your thing when it comes to sex. It may just be down to the those guys being into things that wasn't for you. I have played with bi guys who have played straight numerous times.

I have played with ladies who have not wanted me to use my strapon, so I don't use it with them. I ask people what they like and if there's anything they don't, and I like it when people ask me too.

If they knew you didn't like certain things, then they should respect that when there with you.

When I play with guys who don't want me to use my strapon, I respect there wishes and take it off. Well ........... that's after chasing them round the club with if first lol. And then I take it off lol!

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

When I play with guys who don't want me to use my strapon, I respect there wishes and take it off. Well ........... that's after chasing them round the club with if first lol. "

Benny Hill music running in my head now

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

When I play with guys who don't want me to use my strapon, I respect there wishes and take it off. Well ........... that's after chasing them round the club with if first lol.

Benny Hill music running in my head now"

It tends to be like that lol! Funny to watch too! I normally have a crowd cheering along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this bi guy thing has been discussed at length.

Is there a stigmata around bi guys, probably was but now less.

There will always be people who are more or less inclined towards elements of sexuality but I would say that people are not particularly anti bi guys anymore.

A straight guy not wanting a bi guy to join him and his wife is fair enough.

I bet there's more people who would regale against water sports ( probably myself included) but that doesn't mean I think less of those for whom being on, is pleasurable."

I'm openly bi, but certainly do not have any stigmata. But I'm an atheist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems to be a number of guys on here who think sharing their wife with a bi guy will result on them having a cock stuffed in their mouth.

If boundaries are set and respected it shouldnt make any difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems to be a number of guys on here who think sharing their wife with a bi guy will result on them having a cock stuffed in their mouth.

If boundaries are set and respected it shouldnt make any difference "

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

Its certainly true that being bi gives you twice the fun!

I've never experienced any stigma about it, only positives. So far anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are bi then look for ppl who are looking for bi as make meets a bit easier and better knowing you all looking for the same thing....

Could say buggered if you not and def buggered if you are lol

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