FabSwingers.com forum: Bit of a sore point but...

By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

...... Children; How do you feel about meeting people who have kids home?

Is it ok to "wait til they go bed" then sneak round for a bit?

What about for a first meet?

Is going directly to somebodys home even such a safe practice never mind when they have kids home?

I ask because a friend an i were due to meet with a couple addys and contact numbers had been exchanged the date and time were set when at the very last moment they suggested we should text when we were outside "to check the kids are asleep"...

Until this point they had made no mention of kids being home or anything, id been keen to meet at a pub for a swift half to say hello first but they were mad keen and said no need come straight to theirs it was cool. (I had visions of being met at the door by a naked couple with nothing but a glint in their eyes and a tube of lube at the ready!)

Having suggested we now wait for an evening when we can all get away and meet socially they have become quite rude and abusive claiming I have wasted their time and i should get off my moral high horse we are swingers not nuns.

How do others feel?

Do you meet new people "while the kids are sleeping upstairs?"

Would you plan to be fucking somebody other than your own partner while your kids were upstairs?

Having sex with your own partner whilst the kids are home/asleep is one thing, its completely natural and 'normal' and goes on in most households..... nobody would argue with that.

To invite a stranger/strangers to your home with the intention of having group sex is something entirely different and not something i feel children of any age should be anywhere near, asleep or not.

Discuss and advise please as im more than a little perplexed by it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this never really bothered me bout people having kids

i try 2 arrange a meet during the day an when its convenient for them not for me

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

"this never really bothered me bout people having kids

i try 2 arrange a meet during the day an when its convenient for them not for me"

I not asking if its ok to meet peopel who have kids..... im asking should your FIRST meet with them be at THEIR home while their kids are home/asleep?!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

The biggest worry for me would have been being caught by the kids, lets face it, just husband and wife having sex worries about that at times.

Us, we don't have any children at home so we don't have to think about it, but after just discussing it with Mr R...we both decided we probably would have got sitters and rented a hotel room for fun instead of using our house.

As for where we meet, we always meet at a local for a chance to be able to decide if everyone wants to go through with it or have a drink and walk away.

PS dejavu Bubbles

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

hahaha blimey theres a dreadful echo! xxx *winks*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this never really bothered me bout people having kids

i try 2 arrange a meet during the day an when its convenient for them not for me

I not asking if its ok to meet peopel who have kids..... im asking should your FIRST meet with them be at THEIR home while their kids are home/asleep?!"
sorry got it wrong a need a cig lol not

ny ways it wont bother me either way really

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"hahaha blimey theres a dreadful echo! xxx *winks*"

What do you mean dreadful? ;-P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steer well clear we say, anyone who feels the need to call someone a timewaster for being uneasy about playing while children are in the house aren't worth meeting.

Some might be comfortable with the idea of playing when their children are sleeping but they shouldn't expect everyone else to be too.

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

"hahaha blimey theres a dreadful echo! xxx *winks*

What do you mean dreadful? ;-P"

Ah ok a lovely echo....x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree, kids should not be anywhere near when swinging is involved, sorry if this ruffles a few feathers but it is my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After being talked into meeting a couple in their home because they had kids that were staying nearby and they could'nt go out, then after exchanging pictures only to find he was like a surviving Elvis crossed with Shrek and the Kids were indeedy upstairs with instructions not to disturb mummy and daddy while they have friends round... NOT a feckin hope in hell lol...

No no no.... We made excuses quick sharp after being told they only get to meet people this way ff's.. Wonder why!

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

Thank you your posts are reassuring me that im not the frigid stuck up timewaster with more morals than a nun lol

In a rather heated discussion on msn they tried to argue that 'genuine swingers' would not have any problem with it and that it was a common practice?

Its a first on me (having been on the scene for 6 years years!) but then im clearly not a 'genuine swinger' as i am merely a single girl with a long term fuck buddy whom i play as a couple with

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By *asperthedogCouple
over a year ago

midlands

another reason why clubs are best

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

That is a situation that we would never want to be involved with..we would have run a mile!

I also think they were being less than honest about the situation with you and have no right to be getting into a strop about it now

We were going to meet a local couple for a hello drink until after we had made the arrangements and were nearly out of the door they told us their kids would be there as well!

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

"another reason why clubs are best"

I tend to agree with you there, seems a far safer option all round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HI, we would not do it, play when kids a sleep in bed. Time waster you are not I would not like to sit out side waiting for the kids to go to sleep how long must you wait 10 minutes or 1 hour , not right is it waiting,

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By *lackboaWoman
over a year ago

greenock

no Bubbles..i think you were absolutely right and not wasting anyones time. Swinging is an adult pastime, and children should not be anywhere near...I dont even like children in pubs....but thats another thread....dont get me started !!!!....E xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"another reason why clubs are best

I tend to agree with you there, seems a far safer option all round"

Not always... we tried clubs far two years.. We have more fun meeting neutral ground say a bar pub etc.. Alot of nice people don't use clubs you know lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't acommodate due to having children, i don't want strangers in my house when my kids are there even if they are in bed, i have, however been to peoples houses befor when their kids have been in, i turned up to one house they there was a child aged about 3 asleep on the sofa, made me feel a bit uncomfy and have to admit i had a drink and left, went to another house and there was two kids aged, i'd guess about 12 to 14 ish sat having their tea while their mum was telling us about what they had done on last nights meet, the young girl just sat there eating her ice cream like it was normal conversation!! did'nt stay there long either, ive had a few single guys tell me to take my kids on a meet with me when i have said i can't meet cause the kids are home, no need to tell you what i said them lol

kids should not be around adults having sex. in my opinion having sex with other people in the next bedroom to your children is just wrong, one day you may invite someone to your house thats more interested in your children than you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met while our daughter is asleep , but she is only 2 and sleeps from 7 pm until the next morning no problem . we have always mentioned this to the other couple and most dont have a problem .

We will be making other arrangments in the near future as she will be getting older .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds very close to child abuse to us

if you get involved you must be mad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds terrible to me - should be completely seperate to their children's lives - not the sort of people I would play with that's for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would never meet anyone with kids in the house.Just imagine them walking in to ask for a drink, or if they'd had a nightmare while their mam was getting spit roasted,NOOOOOOOOOOO!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would never meet anyone with kids in the house.Just imagine them walking in to ask for a drink, or if they'd had a nightmare while their mam was getting spit roasted,NOOOOOOOOOOO!

XXXX"

totally agree,

kids in house is a deffo no no

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

You know what we're getting paranoid now. We've not been on the scene two years yet, but whatever seems to be a big no-no in the swinging world we seem to have done at some point lol!

OK here goes.... our very first meet *ever* was with a couple who 'picked us up' at a club, and took us back to their house and basically ravished us! When we got there they said we had to keep the noise down a bit as the daughter (13 or 14yr we think) was asleep upstairs. We did meet them at their place a few times after that and the daughter was asleep but we never actually saw her. We did feel a bit uncomfortable about it but thought it must be quite normal in swinging terms, having nothing to compare it with. The situation has never arisen again since so we couldn't answer if we would be put off a meet by it, or not.

On an aside, and this is kinda on topic here..... we are talking older kids now but we have met at regular swinging parties we used to attend, mother and daughter swingers. They play together in the same room but not with each other The mother was mid 40s the daughter early 20s

We also know another couple who swing regularly with the fems son included (he lives with them), he is about 26 though. Mother and Son don't play together *obviously* but they will play in the same room if they are holding a party.

We thought that was just a bit too weird though to be honest and on the last meet with them we felt a bit tricked as we thought it would be 4 of us but it was 5 so we haven't played with them since.

So don't know what it is about us but we seem to have come across just about everything.

xxx

J&R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would never ever meet or invite a meet with kids about. NO for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't see a problem as long as the kids are securely locked up in the cellar.

But seriously, it would be pretty weird. I know it must be difficult for parents but if i had kids i certainly wouldn't have people come to my home that i hadn't already met before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...... Children; How do you feel about meeting people who have kids home?

Is it ok to "wait til they go bed" then sneak round for a bit?

What about for a first meet?

Is going directly to somebodys home even such a safe practice never mind when they have kids home?

How do others feel?

Do you meet new people "while the kids are sleeping upstairs?"

Would you plan to be fucking somebody other than your own partner while your kids were upstairs?

Having sex with your own partner whilst the kids are home/asleep is one thing, its completely natural and 'normal' and goes on in most households..... nobody would argue with that.

To invite a stranger/strangers to your home with the intention of having group sex is something entirely different and not something i feel children of any age should be anywhere near, asleep or not.

Discuss and advise please as im more than a little perplexed by it all."
totally agree xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"one day you may invite someone to your house thats more interested in your children than you!!"

While what you are saying is undoubtedly true, it's hardly likely or even relevent to the discussion is it? Let's face it, paedophiles are incredibly devious and will try and worm their way into your trust in any number of ways. But I really doubt that many think that a good way would be meeting a woman on a swingers site......

"sounds very close to child abuse to us

if you get involved you must be mad"

Now that's just silly talk isn't it? The sort of comment I might expect in a tabloid but if you really believe that then how exactly do you perceive Swingers and Swinging?

Back on track, as a first meet, I would be very wary of anybody that insisted on meeting in their house, we would always want to meet somewhere neutral. To not tell you they have kids and then accuse you of timewasting is well out of order. As for meeting with kids asleep. Wouldn't overly bother me if they were younger and likely to be asleep. Within reason, it's not for me to question how others bring up their children. Some of the examples on this thread are clearly inappropriate but it's by no means black and white.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have small children and if they aren't sleeping at a grandparents then we don't play simple as.

In fact we only meet at clubs half because we can combine our play nights with a going out type night, and half because I won't invite people I havn't met to my childrens home, I have read in a few threads now about people randomly turning up with the old 'Oh I was in the area' I wouldn't want that with my children here.

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

Telling swingers that they should not have morality choices are like telling call girls that they have no moral whatsoever. Just because we decide to choose a way of life doesn't mean that we should rid of all our morality. We choose what we want to do...they choose to do that...so go ahead...but you choose that it is not for you then it should not be a problem for them...in fact they are actually wasting your time as they did not inform you that they have children...

On the issue of having swinging activities while kids are at home...we believe that it is fine if it is just for chat and getting to know each other..but no sex involved..if there were gonna be sex...it is best that kids are not involved as all these could be pretty confusing for them...and they should be free of influences that could affect their future decisions...

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

and they should be free of influences that could affect their future decisions...

What, like organised religion and that sort of thing lol

sorry couldn't help it

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids should be kept in cages and only allowed out for meals and toilets ...

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

Actually, if you design the cage properly,.............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually, if you design the cage properly,.............

You mean an inside loo and a hatch into which food and drink can be poured ?

You design it, I'll market it - we could be onto a winner here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have meets when our kids are here but we always make sure there asleep before we do anythng with any other couple and we always let couples know we have got 2 children. Our eldest who is 5 never wakes up and our youngest who is 10 months wakes up occasionally but not very often and we always stop what we are doing if he does wake up. The couples that we have met are all happy to play with kids in the house and respect it. But the time will come when we stop playing at home as our kids get older.

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By *icekatCouple
over a year ago

north east

There was a couple we met who played with with people at their home they put their 14 and 15 year olds to bed at 9pm so as they could swing.

14 year olds are not stupid they have got ears and will not be asleep at 9pm and will work things out.

I think it is a form of child abuse for any child at any age to be in the house when swinging occurs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont believe it is a form of child abuse, our kids are only young they havnt a clue what we do and in a couple of years time we are gonna stop doing home meets when our kids are there.

I do not agree with having meets when ur kids are 7+ as they are more likely to hear things. And as long as you know your children well and you know the wont wake up whats the harm!!! Whats the difference when you get a couple where the bloke is old enough to be the girls done. eg 18 and 43

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

"I dont believe it is a form of child abuse, our kids are only young they havnt a clue what we do and in a couple of years time we are gonna stop doing home meets when our kids are there.

Whoooaa there!

7 may be the cut off point for you but i can assure you children old enough to sleep in a bed rather than a cot would be my personal cut off and even then id not be happy to play. But only you know your own children and if 7 is your choice then lets hope a 6 and a half year old (for example) doesnt wander down to investigate any unusual noise or voices... for their sake.

And where on earth did the "Whats the difference when you get a couple where the bloke is old enough to be the girls done. eg 18 and 43" come from!!!??? Its ENTIRELY different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If swingers are happy to play when the kids in bed thats there choice we dont see this as child abuse.Think peeps need to look it up what it means.To the other if you got 43 year old bloke whos going out with a 16 to 18 girl thats older nuff to be her dad does this come under child abuse 16 legal age to have sex but how many mum and dads out there would be happy with it ? As parents we no our chilldren as long as there safe and not seeing anything then there nps each to there own.

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

No i completely agree its your choice as parents...

The thread is not about the morality of two consenting adults (lets keep it 18 and 43 year olds and not go down the under 18 route) I tend to agree in principle but do know couples with a big age gap that id have no hesitancy in meeting but thats an entirely different topic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my first ever meet was with a couple with kids and i turned up at 8.00pm as arranged and they told me to be quiet because the kids were in bed, one was 7 and one was 9. not a chance two kids at that age would be asleep at 8.00pm, made me feel very uncomfortable to say the least which resulted in me just chatting then making an excuse i was nervous and left. I havent got a problem with meeting swingers whos kids are in bed, just as long as its not a time where they will be awake.

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

What, like organised religion and that sort of thing lol

sorry couldn't help it

xxxx"

was thinking of saying that...but might be too sensitive and off topic..:D...

we believe that sometimes parents don't actually their kids know..:D...so we wouldn't want to walk into a 5 year old and feel awkward realizing that they've hints that we are their parents swinging friends..:D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a travellodge is so cheap what is the need for you to meet when there are kids around. We'd never entertain playing with the kids in the house. We'd be happy to go round for a drink as if we were 2 adult couples socialising but that's as far as it goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is a form of child abuse for any child at any age to be in the house when swinging occurs. "

Chikd abuse for heaven sake ???????? Is that not over egging the pudding a little bit ?

I'm not at all in favour of kids being subjected to any kind of behaviour which may cause them alarm or concern, however to class it as child abuse just because the child is in the house when swinging occurs is a little bit over the top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is a form of child abuse for any child at any age to be in the house when swinging occurs.

Chikd abuse for heaven sake ???????? Is that not over egging the pudding a little bit ?

Agree totally. I challenged it when somebody said it earlier in the thread and I'll say it again now - what is your true perception of swinging and swingers if you genuinely believe that swinging while children in the house is abusive? Do you think what we, as swingers do is that perverted and disgusting that a child sleeping while it goes on is abusive?

It's a ridiculous over the top claim, and one that is deeply disrespectful to those on this thread that have said that they play when their kids are asleep - you are saying that those people effectively abuse their kids?

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By *ton Diamond OP Woman
over a year ago

Slough/Windsor

Ive ignored the child abuse accusation and treated it with the contempt tabloid fueled comments like that deserve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sounds very close to child abuse to us

if you get involved you must be mad"

I think people here may have jumped to the conclusion that by claiming child abuse the poster meant sexual child abuse?

I read the abuse comment as psychological child abuse !

If a child of, say five years old, lay in their bed 'pretending' that they were sleeping (how many of us have done so as kids?) while the parents were playing downstairs, what name would you attach to this behaviour ?

We agree with those that would not play at all if the children were present.

We once received a picture sent by a couple that clearly showed a 4sum in full swing, taking place a child's bedroom. There were toys pushed aside, people were on the bed that had a quilt with a kids design, wallpaper was what you would expect to see in a young child's room etc.

That was enough for us, the mental image and thoughts of them putting their nipper to bed on his/her return - wtf is that all about?

Bubbles, you did exactly the right thing in our view and you had a lucky escape!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we speak for all parents that swing this is our choice to swing when kids are here we make it quite clear to all swingers that come to our when kids in bed so there choice to come.Think this is getting out of control with parents who swing with kids at home gives a down side to it for us theres all so the social side of things meeting new friends and good time sex just a bonus to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think we speak for all parents that swing this is our choice to swing when kids are here we make it quite clear to all swingers that come to our when kids in bed so there choice to come.Think this is getting out of control with parents who swing with kids at home gives a down side to it for us theres all so the social side of things meeting new friends and good time sex just a bonus to us."

We are parents and just wouldnt ever ever do it in any circumstance but just wondering are these people you know well coming to play at your house or people you have chatted to online?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had over our fair share of meets at our place with kids in bed we even had swingers bring there kids we had made it aware to the other couples that come and they been cool with it this is there choice to come and our choice to do so.Makes us so mad when people so small minded.Everyone allowed there own opinion to this.As we see it life about makeing a choice if u did not have a choice we all be the same how boring.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@like a star

Well you are being open and honest, and looking at your verifications you ain't doing badly either so we wouldn't worry about it too much

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou so much richNjudy there are some fokes out there that do understand and are considerate.Its just gos over our heads lol. Nice profile by the way to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sounds very close to child abuse to us

if you get involved you must be mad

I think people here may have jumped to the conclusion that by claiming child abuse the poster meant sexual child abuse?

I read the abuse comment as psychological child abuse !

We agree with those that would not play at all if the children were present.

That was enough for us, the mental image and thoughts of them putting their nipper to bed on his/her return - wtf is that all about?

Bubbles, you did exactly the right thing in our view and you had a lucky escape!"

Completly agree with you, as a child my parents argued at 'bedtime' assuming we wouldnt know, well guess what we heard every word! My children constantly surprise us with how much they take in that we assume would go over their head, maybe we are over protective parents but we are not willing to mess up their heads for the sake of some sex.

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By *raginghormonesCouple
over a year ago

whitehaven

We all know that childhood is pitifully short nowadays, so I for one would never want to feel that I was the cause of some poor child being forced to lose their innocence even more prematurely.

Play away when the kids are being minded at home, play at home if the kids are at granny's - as the meerkat says - "simples"

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

you know what, that meerkat alexander get's everywhere these days lol

xxx

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By *elax and enjoyCouple
over a year ago

BRISTOL

One of the reasons - I think - swingers are often more mature in age is that they have raised and said goodbye to kids. Kids are far more knowing than parents may think and I don't believe it's a great idea to invite people to your your home for sex fun when children (asleep or not) are about.Much better to find another venue and time when granny can baby sit.

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By *icekatCouple
over a year ago

north east

"We all know that childhood is pitifully short nowadays, so I for one would never want to feel that I was the cause of some poor child being forced to lose their innocence even more prematurely.

Play away when the kids are being minded at home, play at home if the kids are at granny's - as the meerkat says - "simples""

I agree with your comment

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By *eavensg84uCouple
over a year ago

Harrow

We've met couples at their homes when their kids were asleep and its been ok - but other times, it hasn't ("Sorry, got to stop giving you a blow job, the babys crying"). Generally, we'd say it was a 'no' - older kids can hear and younger kids are often unpredictable in their sleeping, whatever the parents claim.

Isnt a case sometimes that people are trying to do swinging on the cheap - no babysitters, no hotel or club, no petrol money, 'straight' clothes? In these economic times, thats fair enough for those who need to, but its not for us.

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By *irtyduoCouple
over a year ago

nr stirling

i for one would meet on neutral grounds, i wouldnt have a total stramger come to the house, you just never know!!! we have kids and no babysitter equals no playing!!!

we have had a few couples over to play at our house once we have met a couple of times and got to know them, and no way would i ever play in my own house or anyone elses house that had kids sleeping no matter what age. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have heard one story from a couple I know who arranged to meet another couple at their home and the guy ended up totally wasted on booze and got annoyed at his wife enjoying herself 'too much' - he started an argument which led to a fight between them and then they went to leave. My friend felt guilty about letting them drive under the influence and persuaded them to stay. The guy had calmed down somewhat and no more play was planned, but after half an hour he started rowing again and this time my friend intervened and got a smack in the mouth for it. He then kicked them out regardless of whether they drove or not (he actually phoned the police and told them the make and model of the car and what area they were in, paybacks a bitch innit lol)

Now, if their had been children in the house it would have been far worse to control the situation, so my view on the OP is a firm 'No', not while children are present. I'd be on edge the whole evening and it just wouldn't sit right with me.

The above posting about clubs being the best option is bang on I think. No danger of kids walking in and you can leave it all there when you go home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a no no but i have done it with a couple when i blatently knew they had a kid asleep in bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its a no no but i have done it with a couple when i blatently knew they had a kid asleep in bed."

You say its a no no but then meet with somone who has kids there???? hmmmmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

d rather go for a drink first myself x don't think it should be done when kids in house even in bed just doesn't seem right x if there rude I feel u done the right thing n waited I'd have done same most prob in your position x if you fealt uncomftorble x mwah tgc play safe x

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