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"Had it happen to us once.. And you want to try and avoid it at all costs. It was not a fun experience. And it just came out of nowhere. Like a switch had been thrown. And yes it was people new to it but that is probably to be expected as they are more likely to get caught out by unexpected feelings trying sonething new. Upset L and didn't do much good for them either I don't think. " Hey, what happened? | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that!" Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() | |||
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"Had a number of couples where the female was doing it to please there other half " I think that's what happened with us but the other way round. The guy was going along with it to keep her happy. | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() Holding the stomach and making a retching noise will do the trick. | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"We've heard stories of couples falling out while swinging when they realise the reality is more painful than the pleasure of the fantasy. Obviously we'd like to avoid having to witness this (not us, another couple), is it fairly common? Anyone had to deal with a couple who got upset ? Is it usually newbies ?" There is no patten for who gets jelous I have seen it with seasoned swingers and newbies but there is always tension in the air before hand. The best bet is always a social meet with people first and pick up on the vibes. | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() secret signals? what are those..lol we're just open and outright. saves so much hassle. ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy" What a refreshingly honest post - thank you. ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() A code word works well ![]() | |||
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"A code word works well ![]() We always used to work out something before we went out. But we just found it didn't work easily for us so we take the easy option and always go to the bar or coffee counter or whatever together now. Im sure the bar staff have wondered what we are whispering about though ![]() | |||
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"A code word works well ![]() ![]() If there is no opportunity for a word, and body signals are not indicative and not in a club of course then it is a quick text while visiting the ladies ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() We don't have secret signals we learned the hard way to just say "can we have a five minute time out" & move away, say what we need to say and carry on or not. Its worth the temporary awkwardness even mid play. | |||
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"Im not in a couple so i cant speak from experience but i would imagine its a lot harder than people think to see your OH enjoying themselves more with a "stranger" than with them, especially from a male pride point of _iew and the Alpha dog mentality. " I am never going to say never as you just don't know but I have honestly never ever felt even close to that so far. I am not really a jealous type of person anyway and the more L enjoys herself the more I like it. Nothing is better for me than seeing her having a great time with a guy she really fancies. I have made her squirt only once and a couple of others have also.But I could never get bent out of shape over it. More respect to the guy for putting the effort in to make it happen. It is a clear sign she is having really great time and I would prefer that to her having an OK time. I see it just as sex. I know no matter how good the sex is it will never be as good as the sex we will have when we get home. There is not that years of history and emotional connection when she is with someone else. And I am very lucky that she _iews it the same way if I am playing. The only alpha dog mentality I have I suppose is that I know that no matter what fun has been had we will be going home together. And that's the magic for me ![]() | |||
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"If there is no opportunity for a word, and body signals are not indicative and not in a club of course then it is a quick text while visiting the ladies ![]() That's a good plan. Never thought of that. xx | |||
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"She was upset he'd ignored their limits and wouldn't open the door or even answer the bloke who was pretty distraught on the outside. " I can see why that could be upsetting. It is pretty disrespectful to ignore limits you have both agreed. But at least they got in touch and apologised. When it happened to us we had no apology at all. It left us feeling very flat for a while. | |||
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"And alwaya, always reasure the other during the play (wink, smile, kiss, hug, hand hold)and loads on the way home." ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"We've heard stories of couples falling out while swinging when they realise the reality is more painful than the pleasure of the fantasy. Obviously we'd like to avoid having to witness this (not us, another couple), is it fairly common? Anyone had to deal with a couple who got upset ? Is it usually newbies ?" | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm pretty forthright but even I have the tact to not want to have to explain directly to a couple in the heat of things that despite my wife fancying the bloke, and despite his wife being lovely to chat with, I consider her a minger. On the flip side we've become a lot more aware of the types we each fancy. Aided by the constant 'would you?' conversations while out and about ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() We are really curious about this - but will start another thread in a bit to save dragging this off topic. x | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() We wouldn't put ourselves in that position in the first place. We never assume anything, and always communicate our feelings together about others. ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I think perhaps you're describing different circumstances. We were already naked in a club, so not so easy to just pop off to go and communicate feelings without looking odd. It's easy on here and easy enough if you're just having an introductory chat. A bit less simple if you're mid orgy. | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Our second favorite pass time! ![]() | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() We dont play with those mid-play we have not played with before elsewhere, as we haven't talked about them together. ![]() | |||
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"..oh and couples who treat the situation with another couple as their own chance to have a ffm threesome." Thankfully the only time we've encountered this was in a club but before playing. They were quite honest in that he felt he would be too jealous too see me with her which we respected to a degree but then they totally pissed us off by trying to convince crystal to play alone and telling me us that as we were experienced I wouldn;t get jealous seeing crystal fucked... They genuinely didn;t see what was wrong with me watching or why we were offended by the suggestion! ![]() | |||
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"She was upset he'd ignored their limits and wouldn't open the door or even answer the bloke who was pretty distraught on the outside. I can see why that could be upsetting. It is pretty disrespectful to ignore limits you have both agreed. But at least they got in touch and apologised. When it happened to us we had no apology at all. It left us feeling very flat for a while. " I had massive respect for them for apologising as it clearly took courage - we all know blocking us would have been the easier option. | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Believe me it is perfectly simple and not at all awkward "mid orgy". And if people are neither comfortable enough to say no, or to take that rejection then they should question why they are putting theself in that situatiom. | |||
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"ive had one where ive met up with a couple and he had the right hump because when I gave his partner oral she kept cumming and cumming and saying wow," lol when we first started D gave oral to a girl who after she had cum rather loudly said within earshot of her husband that it was the best oral she had ever had. Poor fella, didn't have the heart to say it was actually the first time D had tried it! Atmosphere for them would have been frosty on the way home! | |||
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"ive had one where ive met up with a couple and he had the right hump because when I gave his partner oral she kept cumming and cumming and saying wow, lol when we first started D gave oral to a girl who after she had cum rather loudly said within earshot of her husband that it was the best oral she had ever had. Poor fella, didn't have the heart to say it was actually the first time D had tried it! Atmosphere for them would have been frosty on the way home!" lol ![]() | |||
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"Believe me it is perfectly simple and not at all awkward "mid orgy". And if people are neither comfortable enough to say no, or to take that rejection then they should question why they are putting theself in that situatiom." ok - I believe you - you're correct of course. Silly me for being wrong about how it actually was at the time. | |||
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"Believe me it is perfectly simple and not at all awkward "mid orgy". And if people are neither comfortable enough to say no, or to take that rejection then they should question why they are putting theself in that situatiom. ok - I believe you - you're correct of course. Silly me for being wrong about how it actually was at the time." Maybe I am wrong? But ultimately I've never had sex with someone I don't find attractive because I felt that was the preferable option to the perceived awkwardness of saying no. | |||
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"Believe me it is perfectly simple and not at all awkward "mid orgy". And if people are neither comfortable enough to say no, or to take that rejection then they should question why they are putting theself in that situatiom. ok - I believe you - you're correct of course. Silly me for being wrong about how it actually was at the time. Maybe I am wrong? But ultimately I've never had sex with someone I don't find attractive because I felt that was the preferable option to the perceived awkwardness of saying no. " Neither have I hence the original comment. It was a slightly different circumstance to what most are describing I think. We were naked in a pool with many others. He had started to grope my wife which she was enjoying with her eyes closed. Mine had been closed too until I opened them to see that the blokes wife wasn't to my taste. Now it was tempting to haul my wife away while muttering 'did you see the state of his wife? There's no way I'm letting her think she could ride my face..' but in the end I just went with the 'need the toilet' routine. The point was never as to whether we'd not say no. It was that following that incident we discussed how to me more aware when one of us didn't want the other to encourage another while in full flow. | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy" Rare to see someone being honest! ![]() | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy What a refreshingly honest post - thank you. ![]() Agree! | |||
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"I had the experience of a jealous fab user that blocked me for not displaying a veri they left me and for adding a next woman on my friends list. Is this the normal behaviour of some people on here? ![]() Is it because she thought you didnt want people to know you had met her? | |||
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"I had the experience of a jealous fab user that blocked me for not displaying a veri they left me and for adding a next woman on my friends list. Is this the normal behaviour of some people on here? ![]() not normal but not unusual | |||
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"I had the experience of a jealous fab user that blocked me for not displaying a veri they left me and for adding a next woman on my friends list. Is this the normal behaviour of some people on here? ![]() she did say that but she blocked me straight away so never got to explain my reasons for doing so. She messaged me saying i see you have a new friend which suggests the jealousy?? | |||
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"I get a kick out of the jealousy. When my man cums with another woman I think 'you bastard' then I give the naughty boy some very hot angry sex for his enjoyment of sex with another girl. A bit messed up isn't it really. ![]() Nothing's messed up in the swinging world, sweetie! :P I'll admit, I've been jealous during meets, but it's normally because I'm a little unfamiliar with the situation. For instance, the first meet we had was a new scenario entirely for us both... We took it for what it was and spent a good while having damn good sex and talking about it. Lessons learnt. We do the same for every meet, unless it was so enjoyable nothing really needs to be said hahaha. L x | |||
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"The reason i don't meet couples anymore is because ive had so many problems in the past, the last time i met a couple the woman threw me out the house at 1am with no way of getting home, thay was it for me, single guys are far less hassle ![]() Really?! Wow, sorry to hear you had such a crappy experience, but we're not all such terrible hosts! | |||
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"We have had this at clubs with the more inexperienced couples and it tends to be the men with the problem, they don't like seeing Adam fuck their wife and don't like seeing them enjoy it, and/or weren't expecting her response. One time we went to a room and got straight down to it, Adam got "dressed" and started fucking her hard, which I love to watch, while I played with the man's cock and got the condom ready. Basically he was intimidated and just couldn't get hard. We did extended foreplay, but he was getting more frustrated - and she didn't help as she was being very obvious how much she was enjoying it. So rather than all going off to relax in the hot tub after as we usually do, they had an argument in the corridor. Another time, another young couple, Adam entered her as usual and started pumping away, I climbed on and started riding, and the man's excitement (coupled with my brilliant technique of course ![]() " I climbed on and started riding, and the man's excitement (coupled with my brilliant technique of course ) meant he came in about a minute and a half" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy" I have done the jealous thing a few times during naughty times with my partner, and when I cool down I realise it's me who needs to calm down; we're still together and strong | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy" . Ditto Hun know that feeling only too well! And it's quite recent too. | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy. Ditto Hun know that feeling only too well! And it's quite recent too. " I'm in a hopefully new "friendship" for want of a word, am not going to mess this up. Hope things go ok for you | |||
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"I did the jealous thing once. Got me dumped, I control my emotions better now but will admit to it not being easy What a refreshingly honest post - thank you. ![]() I'm always honest, think it's best - for me anyway | |||
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"Had it happen to us once.. And you want to try and avoid it at all costs. It was not a fun experience. And it just came out of nowhere. Like a switch had been thrown. And yes it was people new to it but that is probably to be expected as they are more likely to get caught out by unexpected feelings trying sonething new. Ahhh your soooooo nice toooo xx Upset L and didn't do much good for them either I don't think. Hey, what happened?" | |||
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"We have had this at clubs with the more inexperienced couples and it tends to be the men with the problem, they don't like seeing Adam fuck their wife and don't like seeing them enjoy it, and/or weren't expecting her response. One time we went to a room and got straight down to it, Adam got "dressed" and started fucking her hard, which I love to watch, while I played with the man's cock and got the condom ready. Basically he was intimidated and just couldn't get hard. We did extended foreplay, but he was getting more frustrated - and she didn't help as she was being very obvious how much she was enjoying it. So rather than all going off to relax in the hot tub after as we usually do, they had an argument in the corridor. Another time, another young couple, Adam entered her as usual and started pumping away, I climbed on and started riding, and the man's excitement (coupled with my brilliant technique of course ![]() The fun doesn't have to stop because he came a bit quick. That's when it's time to improvise lol ![]() | |||
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" but how do you .fuck another mans missus or fuck buddie should we just crack on in our own little world and just go with the flow ![]() Same way you would anyone else lol | |||
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"mrs hedo is jealous that's why we only soft swing, she don't want to see me with another woman, as long as she agrees to what we do its ok." Then why do it at all if she doesn't like it? | |||
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"mrs hedo is jealous that's why we only soft swing, she don't want to see me with another woman, as long as she agrees to what we do its ok. Then why do it at all if she doesn't like it? " This! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Jealousy isn't very nice where ever it is. " its also says they care about the person too | |||
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"Jealousy isn't very nice where ever it is. its also says they care about the person too " I guess so ![]() | |||
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"Jealousy isn't very nice where ever it is. its also says they care about the person too " I agree. If someone's jealous they can't help how they feel. If their partner makes them feel bad about it I think that's crap. | |||
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" We sorted our secret signals after that! Never managed to get that right yet. We try but are both rubbish at remembering what they are ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Hear, hear ![]() | |||
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"I got jealous once. Saw myself in a mirror, thought I was someone else. I just left............ ![]() Did the other you stay and have fun? | |||
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"Jealousy isn't very nice where ever it is. its also says they care about the person too " I think it says that their care is about ownership and if jealousy is something a person feels that swinging isn't a pastime they should consider. | |||
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"Jealousy isn't very nice where ever it is. its also says they care about the person too I think it says that their care is about ownership and if jealousy is something a person feels that swinging isn't a pastime they should consider." have to admit, i got jealous once. V sent me to get her a drink, after we had played with a couple. when i got back they were all in a clinch whilst the other couple were fucking. after they had left i told her i had felt she had got me to leave the room so they could all get close. she said they had grabbed her when they started doing what they were doing and she couldnt get away, so was a storm in a tea cup really, but still, didnt like the feeling at the time. lol | |||
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"Im not in a couple so i cant speak from experience but i would imagine its a lot harder than people think to see your OH enjoying themselves more with a "stranger" than with them, especially from a male pride point of _iew and the Alpha dog mentality. I am never going to say never as you just don't know but I have honestly never ever felt even close to that so far. I am not really a jealous type of person anyway and the more L enjoys herself the more I like it. Nothing is better for me than seeing her having a great time with a guy she really fancies. I have made her squirt only once and a couple of others have also.But I could never get bent out of shape over it. More respect to the guy for putting the effort in to make it happen. It is a clear sign she is having really great time and I would prefer that to her having an OK time. I see it just as sex. I know no matter how good the sex is it will never be as good as the sex we will have when we get home. There is not that years of history and emotional connection when she is with someone else. And I am very lucky that she _iews it the same way if I am playing. The only alpha dog mentality I have I suppose is that I know that no matter what fun has been had we will be going home together. And that's the magic for me ![]() well said x Jess x ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"one partner overstepping or seeming to overstep boundaries previously agreed wouldn't inspire jealousy in me it would inspire hurt and anger. I think jealousy is causes by different things." . Yes your quite right there! Think that that possibly started my problem to be honest. And I think I've just realised maybe after months he isn't really worth it. | |||
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