FabSwingers.com forum: Would it put you off?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Meeting a "couple" who weren't in a relationship but rather friends with benefits? Some couples have said they dont want to meet us because of this but I wondered what the difference was?

We are great friends and have so much fun and always a giggle =) and ontop of that deliciously fantastic sex! Just curious for people's experiences xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to meet with a guy and lots of couples wouldn't meet us, i had one woman say to me that they only meet real couple as if anything goes wrong and it causes problem in their relationship they want the other couple to have problems too, not two fuck buddies who will just walk away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yikes what a dire attitude!

I suppose I can sort of understand they would want to meet people who have as much invested as they do but I'd hope everyone would be secure and happy enough before starting swinging anyway?

Interesting though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to meet with a guy and lots of couples wouldn't meet us, i had one woman say to me that they only meet real couple as if anything goes wrong and it causes problem in their relationship they want the other couple to have problems too, not two fuck buddies who will just walk away

Damn!

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By *orflondonerMan
over a year ago

Wood Green

I really can't see the difference.If you get on with someone,does it matter if they are married,GF/BF or just hooked up the day before?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we don't generally have a problem with it-after all who's to judge what does and doesn't constitute a "real" couple? the main problem we have is that a lot of fuck buddy couples we have been approached by tend to be married to other people which makes it really hard to arrange meets where everyone is available...then you just get into pointless to and fro messages about dates which just lead nowhere...not even socially

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a problem for us. If we have a connection with two other people and have a great time for the short period that we are all together then I can't see what difference it makes. I don't have time or the inclination to probe why others lead the life they choose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we don't generally have a problem with it-after all who's to judge what does and doesn't constitute a "real" couple? the main problem we have is that a lot of fuck buddy couples we have been approached by tend to be married to other people which makes it really hard to arrange meets where everyone is available...then you just get into pointless to and fro messages about dates which just lead nowhere...not even socially"

How do these people arrange any fun in situations like this? Seems like a lot of hard work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We asked this when we first opened this account... It seems some think that we will be less into playing as a couple.. ie just two singles.. yet we really enjoy watching each other and some contact during..

We don't mind if people won't meet us because of it... We are honest about it xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not a problem for us. If we have a connection with two other people and have a great time for the short period that we are all together then I can't see what difference it makes. I don't have time or the inclination to probe why others lead the life they choose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We asked this when we first opened this account... It seems some think that we will be less into playing as a couple.. ie just two singles.. yet we really enjoy watching each other and some contact during..

We don't mind if people won't meet us because of it... We are honest about it xxx "

Exactly the same for us! We are very much in this together and enjoy watching each other, not acting as 2 singles, we go in together and get a lot of pleasure doing this xx

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Depends how long they had been playing together.....

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'd be fine about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its because "swingers" term is used when it used to be the old car keys in a bowl type thing, where everone is in a relationship with their partner, ie married or going out, fb don't have the same emotional connection, which can put people off. Because fb basically is two people who shag, its the same reason that some people think that fb shouldn't be allowed into couple only nights in clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think its because "swingers" term is used when it used to be the old car keys in a bowl type thing, where everone is in a relationship with their partner, ie married or going out, fb don't have the same emotional connection, which can put people off. Because fb basically is two people who shag, its the same reason that some people think that fb shouldn't be allowed into couple only nights in clubs. "

Interesting point, I have been very careful to use the term "friends with benefits" rather than "fuck buddies",

We are friends, we care about each other and there is emotional connection there and I think that's why we have such great fun! Just because we aren't a couple doesn't mean we simply fuck and then forget each other...x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting point, I have been very careful to use the term "friends with benefits" rather than "fuck buddies",

Lee and I are like this.. we worry about the other, I know if I have a problem he will help if he can and we do see each other and it not be just for sexual pleasure . Although that's rare... Sometimes when we have been at a party, we have been the most close couple there. Just because we know each other well... We instinctively compliment the other sexually... And we like to touch and share while playing.

It's added such a new dynamic for me that I now choose not to meet alone and only use the partners in perversion profile for meeting.

But we are just great friends that compliment each other sexually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's added such a new dynamic for me that I now choose not to meet alone and only use the partners in perversion profile for meeting.

But we are just great friends that compliment each other sexually. "

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meeting a "couple" who weren't in a relationship but rather friends with benefits? Some couples have said they dont want to meet us because of this but I wondered what the difference was?

We are great friends and have so much fun and always a giggle =) and ontop of that deliciously fantastic sex! Just curious for people's experiences xx

maybe its because your profile says "food friends"

some couples might think you'll turn up with a take out or a picnic hamper ,and it will kill the mood?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha!! Oh dear I'd blame it on autocorect but I think it's just my fat thumbs and I was hungry when I wrote it

Though I'm certainly not adverse to a bit of food play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol,,you changed that double quick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"lol,,you changed that double quick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do these people arrange any fun in situations like this? Seems like a lot of hard work

it is...but people gave us a chance when we were in that position but it can be just too much like hard work for what is supposed to be fun...still I suppose they're right when they say nothing worth having comes easily...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

back to your original question,,

hmmm, interesting.

I think personally, its more about the chemistry between a couple that makes them sexy, like they know each other inside out and they genuinely get turned on seeing their partner getting sexual pleasure from others. The problem with a couple who are "friends with benefits" or " fuck buddies" is, how do the other couple know whether you have a real connection through a real attraction for each other or if you've only just met and using each other for personal gratification?

I guess theres a wide range between a guy who hires an escort to take to a swingers club and two people who like each other and know each other and have a real connection but for one reason or another choose/cannot be together in a relationship.

its impossible to prove on your profile that you care for each other, i guess you just have to accept that it will filter some potential couples out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your right about it being about the chemistry.. to be honest we find ours sometimes leads us to defend the just friends bit... But we now realise that it works for us and never mind what others say or think... We know what we have and it works..

Hopefully our verifications on the couple's profile will help give a better picture.. however I'm thinking some more on the profile may help too.

Cali. One half of partners in perversion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Really good points thanks guys, we are going to get to a Few club nights and hopefully meeting socially will put people's minds at ease with us? Or at least they can see how are we are together =) Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope it works for you and you get the meets you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

this is a very interesting topic as a single gal ,as i get asked by single men that i meet .that i have known a few years

from my previous life if i want to meet with cpls with them but after reading all this cpls wouldn't entertain us as we barely know each other x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have met couples over the years for one reason or another were not a living together couple but were friends or lovers.

On every occasion it didnt make the sex any less enjoyable or different from those who lived their lives together full time.

In fact would say i've had more problems with couples who live together who tell me things when the other partner is out of earshot, or where one or the other seem to be meeting to please their other half!!

Hope the OP continues to enjoy themselves and the people who slight them for not meeting upto their standards aint worth meeting anyway!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Define a "real " couple. .....helen and me don't live together but we are very much in a relationship with each other. We aren't we anyone else or are we fbs.

Maybe one day soon we will move in together, would that make us real then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Define a "real " couple. .....helen and me don't live together but we are very much in a relationship with each other. We aren't we anyone else or are we fbs.

Maybe one day soon we will move in together, would that make us real then? "

Not sure why so defensive..? I'm classing a real couple as two people in a relationship with each other - no ones said anything about defining a real couple or criticised anyone else's definition or choice to live together or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meeting a "couple" who weren't in a relationship but rather friends with benefits? Some couples have said they dont want to meet us because of this but I wondered what the difference was?

We are great friends and have so much fun and always a giggle =) and ontop of that deliciously fantastic sex! Just curious for people's experiences xx

It shouldn't be an issue really. The dynamics of a couple's relationship are personal to that couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's added such a new dynamic for me that I now choose not to meet alone and only use the partners in perversion profile for meeting.

But we are just great friends that compliment each other sexually.

Exactly this

Ditto!

Sounds just like Fox and I !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the problem we have with meeting fbs/fwb is that more often than not, one or other is cheating on a full time partner.

and seeings as they usually are cheating on someone, they obviously havent the self control to respect the boundaries of their own comited relationship, so why would they have any interest in confining themselves to the boundaries of ours?

we would happily meet 2 single persons in a commited sexual realtionship, but seeings as, with the title, they arent exclusive to each other, then thats never going to happen lol.

yes, these are sweeping generalisations, but there is no other way to deal with things.

its the same as never meeting a single man that says they cant accomodate, because thats a sign of them being married.

not always the case, but you have to have safeguards in place that eliminates what you arent after.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Meeting a "couple" who weren't in a relationship but rather friends with benefits? Some couples have said they dont want to meet us because of this but I wondered what the difference was?

We are great friends and have so much fun and always a giggle =) and ontop of that deliciously fantastic sex! Just curious for people's experiences xx

I'm not a couple, but I do understand where "proper" couples are coming from. If I were sharing the most important person in my life I'd expect the person I'm sharing with to be doing the same.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Yikes what a dire attitude!

I suppose I can sort of understand they would want to meet people who have as much invested as they do but I'd hope everyone would be secure and happy enough before starting swinging anyway?

Interesting though

Maybe, but I understand it.

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By *each48Woman
over a year ago

coventry

What a silly approach

What difference does it make as long as all are consenting adults

If fb then they are giving up time to make it special if married adding done spice

Not sure about just met bit then again we okay with playing first meet

Maybe I'm just a sex addict

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By *each48Woman
over a year ago

coventry

What a silly approach

What difference does it make as long as all are consenting adults

If fb then they are giving up time to make it special if married adding done spice

Not sure about just met bit then again we okay with playing first meet

Maybe I'm just a sex addict

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Have met couples over the years for one reason or another were not a living together couple but were friends or lovers.

On every occasion it didnt make the sex any less enjoyable or different from those who lived their lives together full time.

Hope the OP continues to enjoy themselves and the people who slight them for not meeting upto their standards aint worth meeting anyway!!

Now you see, everyone has their own meet parameters. Dismissing the "standards" of others because they differ from our own shows a lack of respect.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Define a "real " couple. .....helen and me don't live together but we are very much in a relationship with each other. We aren't we anyone else or are we fbs.

Maybe one day soon we will move in together, would that make us real then? "

Why do people get defensive and take every comment personally?!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Define a "real " couple. .....helen and me don't live together but we are very much in a relationship with each other. We aren't we anyone else or are we fbs.

Maybe one day soon we will move in together, would that make us real then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now you see, everyone has their own meet parameters. Dismissing the "standards" of others because they differ from our own shows a lack of respect.

I quite agree! I don't hold anything against people who don't want to meet because of any reason, there's plenty of people on here to be someone's cup of tea without wasting time or energy criticising others choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meeting a "couple" who weren't in a relationship but rather friends with benefits? Some couples have said they dont want to meet us because of this but I wondered what the difference was?

We are great friends and have so much fun and always a giggle =) and ontop of that deliciously fantastic sex! Just curious for people's experiences xx

I'm not a couple, but I do understand where "proper" couples are coming from. If I were sharing the most important person in my life I'd expect the person I'm sharing with to be doing the same.

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We will only meet "proper" couples where they have been in a relationship for a while. We won't meet fb or where they have been fb and then went into a relationship unless they have been together a while.

How we see it is, that they may not have as much respect for there own partner as they would if they were in a proper relationship. So could try and cross the line as haven't got as much to lose if only fb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We will only meet "proper" couples where they have been in a relationship for a while. We won't meet fb or where they have been fb and then went into a relationship unless they have been together a while.

See I get what your saying... But Lee and I have more respect for each other than many "real" couples we have come across.. I've seen many being pushed into things etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meeting a "couple" who weren't in a relationship but rather friends with benefits? Some couples have said they dont want to meet us because of this but I wondered what the difference was?

We are great friends and have so much fun and always a giggle =) and ontop of that deliciously fantastic sex! Just curious for people's experiences xx

I feel more comfortable meeting your sort of couple as I find there is less room for jealousy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I get what your saying... But Lee and I have more respect for each other than many "real" couples we have come across.. I've seen many being pushed into things etc. "

totally agree with that cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I get what your saying... But Lee and I have more respect for each other than many "real" couples we have come across.. I've seen many being pushed into things etc. "

I (and we on the FB profile) have exactly the same amount of respect for singles, couples, FB couples and everyone that we meet!

There's no pecking order - and as a single I've never experienced any negativity when playing with FB's - but the occasional bit of jealousy with couples. Guess it depends on the individuals concerned - but when we play as a couple - we play as a couple. Not two singles with their own agendas and motives!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have met couples over the years for one reason or another were not a living together couple but were friends or lovers.

On every occasion it didnt make the sex any less enjoyable or different from those who lived their lives together full time.

Hope the OP continues to enjoy themselves and the people who slight them for not meeting upto their standards aint worth meeting anyway!!

Now you see, everyone has their own meet parameters. Dismissing the "standards" of others because they differ from our own shows a lack of respect.

Im not dismissing peoples standards as you put it, what im saying is that if someone has a go at another on here for their choices whatever thet may be, sexulaity, kink, type of relationship, race etc then those type of negative people are to be avoided as in everyday life, or at least discounted as open minded individuals who make assumptions about people and prejudge them before getting to know somebody.

In this case since the OP's first post there has been alot of people as always on here, saying a FB relationship isnt the type they would meet, for varying prejudged reasons, valid or not they are entitled to that opinion of course they are that doesnt make that prejudement correct or not.

Lets be honest relationships, fidelity and peoples attitude to monogomy on here varies massively but as people are on here for extra sex outside of their current relationship/s and wouldn't shout from the rooftops they are a swinger, or tell their family and friends its a bit rich to come on here having a go at Fuck buddies.

Also if you are not looking to meet fuck buddies as worried your partner may run off with one of them, then i would question the strength of your marriage/relationship etc

As just because someone hasn't signed a piece of paper doesn't mean they are more likely to not respect the boundries of your relationship etc.

hope you can see my point!!

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By *uckknowsMan
over a year ago

here

Does it really matter, just sounds like a lame excuse to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personal preference. That is all there is to it. You dont have to meet anybody if you dont want to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its VERY easy for a single person not to understand a couples perspective on 'swapping' or 'sharing' a partner, so dont dismiss it.

look at it this way.

we meet people for soft play.

so here i am, licking the pussy of a female, whilst V is going down on her 'partner' he insists to her he wants to take it further.

now, the way we look at it is that a couple in a relationship would stop each other doing that, or have as much respect for their own boundaries that they wouldnt even imagine taking things further, whereas 2 singles meeting up to have sex, POSSIBLY wouldnt give a hoot about what the other is up to, and so the very fear of the other half going mad at you for suggesting things that arent agreed is gone.

there is no silent moments in the car afterwards

no cold shoulder when you get home

no begging to have a bit of fun when you get home.

they would just drop each other off at their own homes and get together again next time, or not meet again, either way, they have no loss, whereas i have now got to try and calm my missus down, because i said meeting a fwb couple would be fine, and anyway, they seemed alright when you talked to them on the phone, blah blah blah.

not to mention the horrific thing of finding out that either one of them is there, face first in your crotch, while their actual partner thinks they are:

out with the lads

at work

at bingo

visiting their ill mother in the hospital

or whatever.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Personal preference. That is all there is to it. You dont have to meet anybody if you dont want to x"

This first, middle and last. There is absolutely no point in questioning other peoples choices and even less point in trying to justify them to other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not defensive as such and i'm sorry it came across that way but peoples definitions of a relationship differ, although we have been a couple for over two years and dont live together to some we're not in a "real" relationship when we are very much so, its each to their own in what they find is acceptable for themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not defensive as such and i'm sorry it came across that way but peoples definitions of a relationship differ, although we have been a couple for over two years and dont live together to some we're not in a "real" relationship when we are very much so, its each to their own in what they find is acceptable for themselves "

guys, we dont live together either (in fact, indifferent countries) but we are very much in love, and in a committed relationship with each other, so no matter what the distance (and there are more and more couples doing the long distance thing, due to lack of work in local areas, the olden days ideas of a couple, or relationship are changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes of course it would put people off, one reason people are attracted to couples is safety, ie less chance of catching something nasty..simples.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Personal preference. That is all there is to it. You dont have to meet anybody if you dont want to x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes of course it would put people off, one reason people are attracted to couples is safety, ie less chance of catching something nasty..simples."

Why would fuck buddy couples be more risky.. or real couples safer... I know more proper couples that bareback with other couples than fuck buddy couples. We only go bare with each other..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes of course it would put people off, one reason people are attracted to couples is safety, ie less chance of catching something nasty..simples.

Why would fuck buddy couples be more risky.. or real couples safer... I know more proper couples that bareback with other couples than fuck buddy couples. We only go bare with each other.. "

real couples generally have less need to meet strangers for sex, as they have each other, single people tend to be more promiscuous. It is just a numbers game,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes of course it would put people off, one reason people are attracted to couples is safety, ie less chance of catching something nasty..simples.

Why would fuck buddy couples be more risky.. or real couples safer... I know more proper couples that bareback with other couples than fuck buddy couples. We only go bare with each other..

real couples generally have less need to meet strangers for sex, as they have each other, single people tend to be more promiscuous. It is just a numbers game, "

I disagree on here... We meet far less now we have coupled up.. in fact I don't play at all without Lee.. and Lee only occasionally meets without me... So I would say we were no different to a real couple in that aspect..

But to be honest that theory doesn't work at all.. as a couple could just as many people as a single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes of course it would put people off, one reason people are attracted to couples is safety, ie less chance of catching something nasty..simples.

Why would fuck buddy couples be more risky.. or real couples safer... I know more proper couples that bareback with other couples than fuck buddy couples. We only go bare with each other..

real couples generally have less need to meet strangers for sex, as they have each other, single people tend to be more promiscuous. It is just a numbers game,

But to be honest that theory doesn't work at all.. as a couple could just as many people as a single. "

but, then i would suggest you are in a relationship, or sorts, as you dont go meeting others, you are somewhat exclusive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I get what your saying... But Lee and I have more respect for each other than many "real" couples we have come across.. I've seen many being pushed into things etc. "

It's not being pushed into things by the other partner it is more when split off and in the heat of the moment I think fb's may try and overstep our boundaries that have been discussed. I know neither of us would do that not just because of the respect we have for each other but because at the end of the night we don't go our seperate ways we go home together and would have to deal with the consequences 24/7. Where as I see fb as walking away from each other and that's the end of it for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but, then i would suggest you are in a relationship, or sorts, as you dont go meeting others, you are somewhat exclusive"

Nope, we can still meet others as we want. I choose not to because I find I get more out of it. I just don't agree that couples are cleaner just because...

Lee organises gangbangs and it's normally for couples not single ladies.. that is what I am saying. that the numbers game doesn't work just because someone is part of a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but, then i would suggest you are in a relationship, or sorts, as you dont go meeting others, you are somewhat exclusive

Nope, we can still meet others as we want. I choose not to because I find I get more out of it. I just don't agree that couples are cleaner just because...

Lee organises gangbangs and it's normally for couples not single ladies.. that is what I am saying. that the numbers game doesn't work just because someone is part of a couple. "

agree on the cleanliness side of it.

singles and couples each have the ability to be dirty or catch something. it makes no difference whether you are partnered up or not.

STI's dont look for a marriage cert lol.

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