FabSwingers.com forum: 'Lucky Man'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guys, when you get messages like this genuine one from a single guy...

'You are a lucky man, great looking woman who loves to fuck, looks like your boats come in!'

Do you;

A) Feel complimented?

or...

B) Feel slightly patronised and wonder if they are really asking what she's doing with a minger like you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't think about it too much, but agree that I am indeed a vary lucky man, we have had messages stating I'm a lucky guy to be with such a lovely woman etc etc, I just say thank you, I realise that, and on top of what you can see via our profile, Ms Rooney also a real sweetheart and very naughty, so I'm possibly luckier than you realise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ive it to usCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

Im 41 now and still dont know what to think when mandy gets looks or compliments, i suppose it depends on how many drinks ive had. But she is gorgeous so i have to put up with it (hard life) Having said that if we go to a club i dont have a problem with her in sexy underwear, but if she flashes a stocking top in our local pub it drives me mad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've sent a couple of emails like the one the OP above got.

I've never meant it as anything other than a compliment to the lady and no thought of puting the guy down at all. Quite often as I'm looking around, I come across pics of a very striking woman in some very sexy pics and its nothing more than saying 'you're a very lucky guy, whoever you are' as very often there aren't any pics of the hubby on the profile.

Its a bit different when you're in a pub and someone is staring at your missus, its a bit rude then!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get loads of them, probably more than most with our age difference.

Yes I am lucky to be have found Sasha but she is lucky to have found me.

We are all lucky to have found someone who we can love and who love us, the mail should be copied and pasted and sent to every couple on the site, it doesn't matter what the guy looks like, it doesn't matter what the woman looks like, we are all happy with who we are with and lucky to have found the right person.

So how do I see those mails, a bit sad really, perhaps sent by someone who doesn't know how to treat a woman, if you treat your partner right, there is a good chance you can join the "lucky ones" two, you kinda have to make your own luck in this life.

I found a princess, so I treat her like a queen.

And yes, they are kind of saying "can't understand why she is with you when there are guys like me around"

I sometimes want to ask them how they treat thier own girlfriends/partners when they are with them, yesterday I arranged a meet with two of our swinging friends, we told Sasha we were going shopping in Stoke together, I hid her bikini in the car and we took her to Waterworld because she had never been to one before, we spent the day giving her a great day out with great friends and Sasha had a fantastic time.

Today we are off to Wales for a couple of days to have a bit of a break - then - who knows, there is so much fun to have in life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I often remark on a striking woman and I'm also guilty of massaging the hubby's ego by saying he's a very lucky guy. I never contemplated that it could be misconstrued by him to mean he didn't deserve her. I will be careful in future with the wording. Perhaps something on the lines of you must make a fine looking couple?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often remark on a striking woman and I'm also guilty of massaging the hubby's ego by saying he's a very lucky guy. I never contemplated that it could be misconstrued by him to mean he didn't deserve her. I will be careful in future with the wording. Perhaps something on the lines of you must make a fine looking couple?

And that boys and girls is the wonderfull thing about forum disscusions, we can all learn something we just didn't see from other peoples point of view, it's great to hear when someone sees a constructive side to the posts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I should point out I did kinda post this tongue-in-cheek, as I do understand the comments are meant as compliments to Linda, or us both, and I doubt ever meant as insults to me. But a couple of posters have picked up on my point that it can be a rather heavy-handed compliment when the term 'lucky' is involved.

In a good strong relationship, if luck is involved at all, then both partners are 'lucky'. Without any false modesty, as I make Linda as happy as she makes me, she could be said to be equally lucky.

But the simple truth is luck doesn't come into it. A relationship needs to be tended every moment of every day, or it wilts and dies, so it is more the fruits of labour - pleasurable labour albeit - than the whims of fate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tend to think that’s where a lot of guys sometimes go wrong, don’t get me wrong compliments are nice, but saying ‘he’s lucky to have you’ is just so naff, and in all honesty it would be replied to with, I’m lucky to have him too, before being deleted.

If your going to send compliments to a couples profile, aim it towards both persons, after all it’s both of them you are trying to meet, too many men make it too obvious they are only interested in the female half of a couple, and in some instances wont even chat with the male half or in worst cases ignore them.

My other half isn’t looking for a new best friend, but if you cannot chat to us both then it’s a big NO NO from us I am afraid.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tongue in cheek or not it is a good and valid topic, We also know that the last thing on the mind of someone who sends a "Your lucky" mail is to be insulting and that is why it is good to discuss the topic in here because those same people who want to send a polite message will see where it might be seen in the wrong way or at the very least not taken as the compliment it was meant to be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i had a partner, i think my chest would puff out like a peasant, and id be grinning like a cheshire cat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooops i meant pheasant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"ooops i meant pheasant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ooops i meant pheasant

If you had a partner we would think you were both lucky people to have found each other as many couples have and as some singles hope to do in the future both of you should puff your chests out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Guys, when you get messages like this genuine one from a single guy...

'You are a lucky man, great looking woman who loves to fuck, looks like your boats come in!'

Do you;

A) Feel complimented?

or...

B) Feel slightly patronised and wonder if they are really asking what she's doing with a minger like you?

The "Looks like your boat has come in" part is a bit insulting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

I am not gay or BI but you are far from being a minger. Your wife is very sexy and you are both good together.

I think some fools who send you messages complimenting you on your sexy wife hope you will reply with a "Thanks. I agree me wife is sexy. Fancy coming around to fuck her?".

I may be being cynical but I think they are trying to sweet talk you by complimenting you on your sexy wife and saying how lucky you are. Maybe they think sweet talking you is the way into your wife knickers? Maybe they think you make the decisions on who to meet and your wife has no say in the matter?

I wonder for what reason(s) people e-mail only to give compliments. If you are after a meet be honest about it. Give compliments by all means but just don't e-mail compliments only in the hope it will lead to a meet.

Don't get me wrong compliments are nice and we all enjoy them. However if I had a sexy wife like yours and got an e-mail that did not ask for a meet and only said "Your wife is very sexy. You are so lucky to have her etc" I would wonder what the point of the e-mail was. Also if the person sending the e-mail thinks your wife is sexy why not tell her that? Why just tell you?

God I am very cynical lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

we have had a few e-mails like that, and far from being insulted hubby quite likes the fact that people compliment me, i on the other hand think it should be the other way around as i have a fantastic husband, who would do almost anything for me and our family, and i agree with a previous poster, if you have both found someone you can be yourself with then both are equally as lucky

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tend to think that’s where a lot of guys sometimes go wrong, don’t get me wrong compliments are nice, but saying ‘he’s lucky to have you’ is just so naff, and in all honesty it would be replied to with, I’m lucky to have him too, before being deleted.

My other half isn’t looking for a new best friend, but if you cannot chat to us both then it’s a big NO NO from us I am afraid.

"
i totally agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

I love people complimenting me, to be honest i no mrs us is gourgeous. if we didnt swing and i dint like people looking at her and drooling then id go mad, cos it happens alot. how can a compliment be a bad thing !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not gay or BI but you are far from being a minger. Your wife is very sexy and you are both good together.

I think some fools who send you messages complimenting you on your sexy wife hope you will reply with a "Thanks. I agree me wife is sexy. Fancy coming around to fuck her?".

God I am very cynical lol."

You are completely cynical and as for calling someone who passes a compliment as fool...pathetic!

I'll happily send a compliment if I think its deserved, quite often to people who live at the other end of the country and I have no intention or possibility of meeting so that removes your 'hoping to sweet talk then into getting me round' comment.

Quite often I see they are a couple but there are only pictures of the lady and so commenting on a guy isn't a possibility so saying 'you are both good together' doesn't come into it.

You say theres nothing wrong with a compliment and we all like them then go on to ask what the motive is behind them? Surely you're saying you only give a compliment if you're after something???? What ever happened to being a nice guy and passing a compliment.

Jeez, like eveything else on this site, some people think there is a hidden agenda to everything so maybe your post says more about you than anyone else??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You say theres nothing wrong with a compliment and we all like them then go on to ask what the motive is behind them? Surely you're saying you only give a compliment if you're after something???? What ever happened to being a nice guy and passing a compliment.

Jeez, like eveything else on this site, some people think there is a hidden agenda to everything so maybe your post says more about you than anyone else??"

Chill Dude, this post isn't about compliments to women, which frankly we'd prefer - nothing wrong with a 'Hi Linda, you are gorgeous' etc. -, it's the back-handed, 'you are lucky' comments made to the male-partners. And as I said, I appreciate it isn't meant to be rude, but it is ill-thought out and clumsy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we get a lot of mails from couples and singles alike who say they think our profile is outstanding (many think it's too long the boat sways both ways), we get people complimenting us on our pictures (I am sure some prefer naked ones so don't like ours), these are nice compliments and taken as such.

Occasionally it is from people who think that sending a compliment first is a good "way in" and our thankyou for your kind comment reply is quickly followed by a "would love to meet up" mail, but often there is no follow up from them and they were as intended simply compliments.

But we are in agreement with the OP that telling a guy he is lucky to have his partner is, though not intended to be, a bit of an insult, like the writer thinks he should think himself lucky because he is unworthy of her, we understand it is rarely intended to mean this but this is how it is easily taken.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

thats like finding a £10 er then some one saying. ure lucky to have found that. Them saying that means u need it and ure poor ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez, like eveything else on this site, some people think there is a hidden agenda to everything so maybe your post says more about you than anyone else??

I've calmed down now! Hehehe!! It was more the part about calling people 'fools' for sending a compliment that got me wound up. Mardy post respectfully withdrawn....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im the chater in our relationship and do get the compliements to the face from having sexy eyes to nice tits mrs. but it dont work on sorry lads. reason being i only look sexy when i feel sexy. so no matter how nice a guy says i am it wont work if dont get along with him as to me it is half hearted attempt to butter me up. but in saying that he does have to be able to talk the talk as well as walk the walk.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guys, when you get messages like this genuine one from a single guy...

'You are a lucky man, great looking woman who loves to fuck, looks like your boats come in!'

Do you;

A) Feel complimented?

or...

B) Feel slightly patronised and wonder if they are really asking what she's doing with a minger like you?

It's polite with absolutely no hint of malice so we would treat it as nothing more sinister than a well intentioned compliment

Reading the thread from top to bottom I do wonder at times if some folk on here like to over complicate things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's polite with absolutely no hint of malice so we would treat it as nothing more sinister than a well intentioned compliment

Reading the thread from top to bottom I do wonder at times if some folk on here like to over complicate things

Hmmm, ok, think I have already said twice that I KNOW there is no malice intended... And if I gave the impression somehow that I thought these approaches were 'sinister, I truly apologies for my hyperbole. It's more about a lack of thought put into some approaches - and this, I know, isn't the exclusive terrain of single guys, but be fair, they do have the franchise on most one-liner, cut & paste, 'what you into', impersonal mail-shot emails.

Like I said, it was meant to be a light hearted discussion on how things can be seen differently from one person to the next, and being as it was meant for debate the giving opinions is preferred rather than discouraged for being 'over-complicated'. I was quite prepared for my views on the 'Lucky' comments to be shot down in flames were that the case.

I think you have to be careful when criticising an other's opinion in case it be seen as an attempt to pre-empt and silence an opposite view through ridicule rather than objective, or even subjective, debate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mind you, at the same time, I do agree that some folks take swinging FAR too seriously. I was there back when internet based swinging started, and there's nothing like the competitiveness and even cliqueness

that abounds now.

I am sometimes of have the opinion that swinging has become TOO popular, too mainstream, and the old feel that it was a bit naughty, underground, and even a bit seedy has taken away some of the attraction and frisson...

At times it seems a bit too polished.

Am I making sense?

Should I start that in a different thread?

LOL

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read the thread from top to bottom, I noted your comments and my remark was not aimed at you

My remark was aimed at no one, it was merely an observation on a couple of thoughts within the thread and from reading many other similar threads on this subject

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read the thread from top to bottom, I noted your comments and my remark was not aimed at you

My remark was aimed at no one, it was merely an observation on a couple of thoughts within the thread and from reading many other similar threads on this subject

And your comments and thought are more than welcome, as this is what keeps threads fed and watered. Kinda be pointless without rebuttal and counter-point.

We've all experienced those threads that get kidnapped either to a totally different topic or self-appreciation society thing going on, which is of no interest to anyone but 2 or 3 posters.

But the way, has anyone noticed how dear plums are?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But the way, has anyone noticed how dear plums are?

The price of good quality fruit is a disgrace!!! Great plums are hard to find as well!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I am not gay or BI but you are far from being a minger. Your wife is very sexy and you are both good together.

I think some fools who send you messages complimenting you on your sexy wife hope you will reply with a "Thanks. I agree me wife is sexy. Fancy coming around to fuck her?".

God I am very cynical lol.

You are completely cynical and as for calling someone who passes a compliment as fool...pathetic!

Quite often I see they are a couple but there are only pictures of the lady and so commenting on a guy isn't a possibility so saying 'you are both good together' doesn't come into it.

Jeez, like eveything else on this site, some people think there is a hidden agenda to everything so maybe your post says more about you than anyone else??"

I am not syaing you are not being genuine and I wasn't having a go at you. If you think I was I apologise. I just know from some guys I know on the internet that SOME men send comments of your wife is sexy etc in the hope it leads to a meet. They do have a hidden agenda. I know one guy who send hundreds of e-mails a week to couples with the your wife is so sexy line. He goes onto all sorts of amatuer readers wife type websites. The your wife is sexy line has worked for him as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

I found a princess, so I treat her like a queen.

And yes, they are kind of saying "can't understand why she is with you when there are guys like me around"

See it not just me who find e-mails saying your wife/partner is so sexy a bit strange or sad.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Occasionally it is from people who think that sending a compliment first is a good "way in". "

So I am not the only person who thinks like that. SOME men NOT all men send the your wife is so sexy message because they think it will be they way into the womans knickers. I know this for a FACT because I know some guys who do the your wife is so sexy routine soley because they think/hope it is a way into the womans knickers. One person I know who sends out hindreds to thousands of e-mails a week does not care what the woman looks like. He just tells them they are sexy in the hope it is a way into her knickers. So SOME men NOT men do have a hidden agenda.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would take it as a compliment.

I have had catty messages with hints of jealousy after I updated my profile to indicate I am now hooked up with a fellow forumite!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread