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Swinging safety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Many singles and single people from couples playing alone talk about social meets and partner accompanies first meets to ensure their "safety".

We were wondering, just how many people have had what they consider to be one of these bad meets that would have justified a partner accompanied first meet.

Do these precautions actually work? What are you folks worried about in reality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Letting your female partner into a private 1 on 1 situation with a male you don't know IS a slightly risky situation. He is likely a lot more physically powerful than her. Maybe he won't take no for an answer. Maybe he could break her rules. Maybe he could get aggressive. If her partner is there it changes the balance of power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there's a way to totally eliminate the risk. I meet people for a coffee first before any play meet is arranged. People can be perfectly polite in public but change beind closed doors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many singles and single people from couples playing alone talk about social meets and partner accompanies first meets to ensure their "safety".

We were wondering, just how many people have had what they consider to be one of these bad meets that would have justified a partner accompanied first meet.

Do these precautions actually work? What are you folks worried about in reality?"

Basically, murder, followed by being attacked, raped by strangers,

Robbery, violence, and the things you read about in the papers every day.

In the swinging world ( like everywhere else )

there is jealousy, anger, cheating, adultery, so these things just add more risk.

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

So far I have been extremely lucky and not met anyone from fab that has given me a bad meet in that way. Generally if a guy has good verifications, I don't worry too much. (And for the guys that are rude, I have my friend The Lump Hammer) Although I have met guys from a dating site that have turned into Psychos etc!! I don't mean being forced upon either but unwelcome calls and abusive texts etc after I have made it clear the answer is no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet as a single in a crowded place like a pub or coffee bar and I would be slightly pissed off if I arranged to meet someone and they turned up with their partner. I have blown a couple off as I got fed up with the male half wanting to meet with me and I couldn't get it into his thick head that he can go back and tell his wife, yes or no but I wouldn't be able to say whether I liked her or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many singles and single people from couples playing alone talk about social meets and partner accompanies first meets to ensure their "safety".

We were wondering, just how many people have had what they consider to be one of these bad meets that would have justified a partner accompanied first meet.

Do these precautions actually work? What are you folks worried about in reality?

Basically, murder, followed by being attacked, raped by strangers,

Robbery, violence, and the things you read about in the papers every day.

In the swinging world ( like everywhere else )

there is jealousy, anger, cheating, adultery, so these things just add more risk."

Absolutely and I once met a guy who told me that he was on a meet with a woman in a crowded pub, chatting away and she then pulled a knife from her handbag and attacked him! Bar staff had to call the police and she ended up with a prison sentence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had a bad first meet. I screen my potential meets very carefully, through the initial chit-chat, and all my first meets have been socially, in a public place.

If I have any doubts in the chit-chat stage, I won't arrange a social meet. If I have any doubts at the social meet, I won't arrange a second meet.

There is always an element of risk, when people are meeting strangers alone. But I have never felt the need to take 'a friend' along to a Fab meet.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've not had a problem yet, touch wood (it's amazing how many times I get wood when I'm perving profiles on here).

Having said that, I do take sensible precautions in meeting people. If they seem a bit unhinged, I compare them to how unhinged I am and then see where they fit in on the scale....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many singles and single people from couples playing alone talk about social meets and partner accompanies first meets to ensure their "safety".

We were wondering, just how many people have had what they consider to be one of these bad meets that would have justified a partner accompanied first meet.

Do these precautions actually work? What are you folks worried about in reality?

Basically, murder, followed by being attacked, raped by strangers,

Robbery, violence, and the things you read about in the papers every day.

In the swinging world ( like everywhere else )

there is jealousy, anger, cheating, adultery, so these things just add more risk."

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It does strike me that a lot of us in the game seem quite relaxed about security. I've arranged to meet women in car parks, they've got in my car, driven back to my place for sex with me and often a lot of other people. I've also had women turn up at my place for the same purpose without ever meeting me before. I've also gone to women's homes and had sex with them without anymore than some mails and a talk on mobile phones.

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By *amie_leighWoman
over a year ago

coventry

Its a lot easier to say no to someone in a public place than in your home. When I frst started I used to let guys come to the house but it made me feel reallyuncomfortable and no matter how well you screen you can never be sure until you meet the other person that their pics are up to date and they dont smell

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"It does strike me that a lot of us in the game seem quite relaxed about security. I've arranged to meet women in car parks, they've got in my car, driven back to my place for sex with me and often a lot of other people. I've also had women turn up at my place for the same purpose without ever meeting me before. I've also gone to women's homes and had sex with them without anymore than some mails and a talk on mobile phones."

And if anything should happen to anyone doing this....

These women you met would probably be the first to say what a daft cow that poor woman was for doing the very same thing they did....

ALWAYS meet in a public place.....

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"It does strike me that a lot of us in the game seem quite relaxed about security. I've arranged to meet women in car parks, they've got in my car, driven back to my place for sex with me and often a lot of other people. I've also had women turn up at my place for the same purpose without ever meeting me before. I've also gone to women's homes and had sex with them without anymore than some mails and a talk on mobile phones.

And if anything should happen to anyone doing this....

These women you met would probably be the first to say what a daft cow that poor woman was for doing the very same thing they did....

ALWAYS meet in a public place....."

If someone asks to meet in a busier public place I've no problem with that, however clearly many haven't even thought about it.

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"What are you folks worried about in reality?"

Rape, murder... little things like that

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By *ebsCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Orpington/london

I met a bi girl alone once, never again.

Her bf turned up and he tried it on as soon as he sat down and wouldn't let me leave.Yes we were in a public place .

SOS/ safe word text to my best mate and her hubby, They turned up in minutes after a major and I mean major scene we left.

Never again hence we don't play alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single folk meeting single folk of here is no different to using POF, any other dating site or pulling someone at last orders etc. the risks are exactly the same.

I think the OP was asking why couples generally 'check out' potential meets.

We meet single guys but I ALWAYS go along. Not to control, not to regulate not even to join in but purely to ensure she is safe and comfy with what is going on.

I respect and love her to much to ever put her at risk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a bi girl alone once, never again.

Her bf turned up and he tried it on as soon as he sat down and wouldn't let me leave.Yes we were in a public place .

SOS/ safe word text to my best mate and her hubby, They turned up in minutes after a major and I mean major scene we left.

Never again hence we don't play alone.

"
Ive been lucky with both socials and physical meets. This has worried me a bit though for the future. Think ive obviously been a bit naïve. Do prefer socials now as a first, but when I first joined I didn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to meet in public first after a few messages. But after a lot of writing I follow my gut instinct and might waive that. Might.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am part of a couple and also have a singles profile. I nearly always meet alone as if I had to organise a babysitter each time this would get very expensive.....I have had one nasty experience in almost 2 years and that was with a guy with many verifications. I know that meeting him first with my husband, I wouldn't Have known what he was capable of, so would still have met him anyway. I think that on the whole my selection process and insistence that we chat, normally for quite a while eliminates most of the nutters so despite having had a bad experience, I still don't see the need to be chaperoned by my husband.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

its always a risk ...I found that out years ago

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By *allybooWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I've not had a problem yet, touch wood (it's amazing how many times I get wood when I'm perving profiles on here).

Having said that, I do take sensible precautions in meeting people. If they seem a bit unhinged, I compare them to how unhinged I am and then see where they fit in on the scale.... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've only ever had one meet where I didn't feel safe and would have been grateful of someone there to help me out, but as i'm single I don't have that option so have to look after myself, I always meet in public first and mostly my methods work but you'll always get one that lets the side down

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

As part of a couple that swings together this isn't really an issue for me.

However having done the POF scene for a while i always took the precaution of giving all contact details via email to a friend, you can also always take a sneaky pic of their licence plate and mms it to a mate for added safety. Then there is the safe word where a mate rings you after a reasonable amount of time to suss out your meet and if you aren't happy you give the code.

Makes a lot of sense for any member to do this, not just the girls.

Safety first doesn't just mean take a condom!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a really really bad Experience once not From here. From Dating site. I let a person i had Chatted to for Months into my home and lets just say i was lucky girl that day. Could have been a Lot worse. Much Better to meet at a club or somewhere in my Opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use common sense. If you have none don't swing!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But even a meet after a social isn't foolproof. Someone can behave the first few meets and then let rip.

It's very unlikely to happen, but still...

As said before, I trust my gut. It hasn't let me down so far.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Having someone with me on a first meet wouldn't have made any difference to my one truly bad meet..

It was my third meet with the person who just turned and tried to strangle me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having someone with me on a first meet wouldn't have made any difference to my one truly bad meet..

It was my third meet with the person who just turned and tried to strangle me... "

OMG, that sounds like a nightmare!

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"Having someone with me on a first meet wouldn't have made any difference to my one truly bad meet..

It was my third meet with the person who just turned and tried to strangle me... "

one I don't want to talk about 3 yrs on and a bloke who punched me in the face cos I wouldn't touch his cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a guy once just for a social, he seemed very nice so arranged to meet him again, to keep the story short he set me up on the second meet

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

A lot of problem meets are several times on after first meets. A bit like if you met someone at work or through 'normal' social meets, pub etc. You really do have to play things by instinct to a large extent. Look at things like verifications, lots of happy ones will probably mean someone will be okay normally, there's always a percentage of chance. You just need to work the averages out, whatever way you go about meeting your potential partners?

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

had a stalker for years after meeting at my place he used to watch my house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/09/13 20:50:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having someone with me on a first meet wouldn't have made any difference to my one truly bad meet..

It was my third meet with the person who just turned and tried to strangle me... "
wtf?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to meet couples but I would feel too vulnerable. Hence I stick to meeting single men with my notorious demands...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We will meet alone and have done meets with other couples where we go our separate ways and go back to separate hotels. We really enjoy it but will only do it with people we know very well and feel that we can really trust and are as happy as we can be that they trust us.

For me as the guy it is easier as physically I would be able to protect myself from most woman. However we need to be sure that both my partner and the the female from the other couple feel completely safe.

But that's just us

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