FabSwingers.com forum: From soft swap to full, how long...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So for the couples on here that like the full " swinging " expierence how many meets did it take of soft swap before deciding to extend your boundries?

I also imagine that many couples skip the soft part and go direct to full.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight to full .... Decision was made that we wanted to swing so there was never any doubt that we would just go for it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

weve been playing for four years now and still don't swap, the wife just enjoys what we do and don't want to swap yet, but were still having fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 seconds lol

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By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

We started off with full, but there's no time scale, if you are happy to soft and feel it's satisfying both your needs no need to change x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 meet soft swap. Then haven't looked back since. We both like to watch each other fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We soft swung for about 18 months before we full swapped. When we first started we just played with each other but in a public room at a club.

Everyone is different. I certainly wasn't ready to full swap straight away but in time you get a bit more adventurous and want to experience new things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None. We didn't see any point in soft swap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None. We didn't see any point in soft swap."

then your obviously not very good at it.

we have soft played for 2 years now, and have absolutely no plans to go full as the thought of either of us fucking someone else does nothing for us.

we both enjoy watching each other giving and receiving oral off others though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight to full swap. To us soft swap is like being in a sweet shop but not being able to try one lol.

Saying that, we will always respect others views on this but a big turn on for us is letting someone have sex with your partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None. We didn't see any point in soft swap.

then your obviously not very good at it.

we have soft played for 2 years now, and have absolutely no plans to go full as the thought of either of us fucking someone else does nothing for us.

we both enjoy watching each other

giving and receiving oral off others though."

I agree. We have soft swap meets and they are really exciting, sensual and sexy. We don't need full penetration with others to feel fulfilled. I love touching and oral in a foursome and them watching each other have penetrative sex with our own partners. I find that very stimulating

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We started swinging by visiting La Chambre every month, and soft-swung right from the start. We agreed we wouldn't hard swing until we were both ready. He was ready after a couple of visits but it took about 6 months (and 6 visits) before she let herself go and that night we had three hard swaps - making up for lost time!

If she'd ben pressurized into full swapping too early she might have gone off the whole idea. Instead swinging is now a frequent and very enjoyable part of our lives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight into full swap, its what we chose to do and it works for us, we will and do soft if thats what the other couple want, both are good fun and thats what its about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We soft swapped on our first meet as we wanted to see how we felt after that. We liked it and both wanted more so moved pretty much straight onto full swap. We liked that too so stuck with it.

Having said that we have since had some really good fun soft swap play (mostly in clubs) so that can be fun too

C xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"30 seconds lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We full swapped straight away and have never looked back. Could not see the point of soft swapping but respect other's point of view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can appreciate those that say we dont like soft play, thats fine.

but for those that say cant see the point, they really are missing something.

have always said, anyone can poke their cock into a pussy and fuck, its not really difficult is it.

but to have someone enjoy oral, touching, stroking, for an evening, is something very sensual, not to mention on a soft evening, its not like no ones going to get a fuck, you just fuck your own partner.

is it really just the fact you get to fuck someone else?

V always says full swap is cheating with permission lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There has been some interesting feed back so far and certainly mixed.

Clearly there is no right or wrong answer to this as it's each to their own as were all looking for different things.

We joined the site for F to play with a single female but this seems very unlikely.

We have had several offers from couples inviting us for F on F then own partners but as tempting as it may be that is not why we originally joined the site so if we did decide to meet a couple then before we start were already pushing boundries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight to full. Seemed rude not to.

Not keen on people with all these 'rules'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Straight to full. Seemed rude not to.

Not keen on people with all these 'rules'."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not try and find a couple who are happy to play just ff while the guys have a chat/beer.

We have done that and it worked well. Maybe a hotel meet where you all meet but the guys stay in the bar and the girls go play?

It is hard to find but certainly no harder than a single girl.

Maybe a good way to develop a friendship another couple in a similar position as well.

C xx

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"So for the couples on here that like the full " swinging " expierence how many meets did it take of soft swap before deciding to extend your boundries?

I also imagine that many couples skip the soft part and go direct to full.

We full swapped on our first meet as it just felt right.

But we don't have set rules of how we play. We enjoy full, soft and just girl/girl only. Depends on the company and what everyone is comfortable with. It's all good fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We soft swapped for 2 meets I think before going full, but we are happy to play within other people's rules as long as they are honest and upfront about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We dived straight in to full swap but had mixed feelings about how it went. So for a little while, probs about 2 years or so we just soft swapped. One couple said we were the hardest soft swingers they'd ever met which we took as a complement.

Eventually we felt right about full swapping and I think nowadays we'd probably feel a bit let down if we didn't full swap. I certainly feel Mrs N is very comfortable with it which is where I guess I wanted us to get to. Do what you feel is right I guess is Motto.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There has been some interesting feed back so far and certainly mixed.

Clearly there is no right or wrong answer to this as it's each to their own as were all looking for different things.

We joined the site for F to play with a single female but this seems very unlikely.

struggle to see how it would be pushing your boundaries to have no interaction with another male from another couple, tbh.

unless you are uncomfortable being in the same room as another naked man, or feel they would push you into doing something you arent happy with, which if you choose carefully is highly unlikely.

OR is it because, in the play of ff, your male would like to join in, and you feel this would have to lead to the other male joining in, in which case, you are already not being straight about what you are meeting in the first place for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We soft swapped for 2 meets I think before going full, but we are happy to play within other people's rules as long as they are honest and upfront about it."

and therein lies the problem. It is supposed to be fun and why people bother when it is 'all you can't do that' and 'we don't that'.... tends to suggest they have issues and really should lighten up.

It is all about choice but come on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None. We didn't see any point in soft swap.

then your obviously not very good at it.

we have soft played for 2 years now, and have absolutely no plans to go full as the thought of either of us fucking someone else does nothing for us.

we both enjoy watching each other giving and receiving oral off others though."

Yeah 'obviously'

Our reasoning was that if we were going to do it we weren't going to tiptoe in.

As it happens some of our meets have ended us as 'soft' because the ladies have got greedy with each other and we have all enjoyed those too. But we avoid people that only soft swap in the same way we avoid people with huge lists of rules, people that don't kiss etc. etc. because we think it's more comfortable and more enjoyable if there's less to worry about re. boundaries etc.

Now I won't go and jump to judgements as to whether you're crap at shagging just because you've chosen not to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are total newbies and still are not sure how we would feel about penetration. I think pretty much everything else will be fine though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are total newbies and still are not sure how we would feel about penetration. I think pretty much everything else will be fine though! "

Think it's all about talking to each other and checking (very honestly) what you're comfortable with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are total newbies and still are not sure how we would feel about penetration. I think pretty much everything else will be fine though!

Think it's all about talking to each other and checking (very honestly) what you're comfortable with. "

We agree.We need to weigh up fantasy vs reality. We want all of it to be fun, and not have any consequences on our relationship at all. We have a meet with a guy booked for saturday which is initially watching, but we have already decided we would both be comfy with touching, oral and masturbation. I suppose it's a small leap from that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are total newbies and still are not sure how we would feel about penetration. I think pretty much everything else will be fine though! "

Only do what you're happy with, if other people can't respect your rules/ wants, don't meet them. There's plenty of nice respectful people out there. Have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably the most exciting it ever gets - not that it's bad after! Good luck and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are total newbies and still are not sure how we would feel about penetration. I think pretty much everything else will be fine though!

Think it's all about talking to each other and checking (very honestly) what you're comfortable with.

physically, its a small leap from a blowjob to fucking, but emotionally its a huge casm and unless you are sure your both ready, it can cause a lot of problems.

dont forget, once its done, it cant be undone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None. We didn't see any point in soft swap.

then your obviously not very good at it.

we have soft played for 2 years now, and have absolutely no plans to go full as the thought of either of us fucking someone else does nothing for us.

we both enjoy watching each other giving and receiving oral off others though.

Yeah 'obviously'

Our reasoning was that if we were going to do it we weren't going to tiptoe in.

Now I won't go and jump to judgements as to whether you're crap at shagging just because you've chosen not to."

no conclusions to jump to.

yes, we would be crap at shagging others, because we wouldnt be comfortable doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind."

I think you have an interesting point there.

I would not like to watch my wife look into the eyes of a man who she was giving oral to yet if she was hooded ( with open mouth ) then that would be different.

I understand your point.

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By *mokin AcesCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"None. We didn't see any point in soft swap.

then your obviously not very good at it.

we have soft played for 2 years now, and have absolutely no plans to go full as the thought of either of us fucking someone else does nothing for us.

we both enjoy watching each other giving and receiving oral off others though."

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind."

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never been on or met up with a soft swing as in the past it wasn't for me however i am finding it more appealing and intriguing to me.

are there a variety of levels involved in the soft play scene with oral sex the top.

would levels be set by the couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None. We didn't see any point in soft swap.

then your obviously not very good at it.

we have soft played for 2 years now, and have absolutely no plans to go full as the thought of either of us fucking someone else does nothing for us.

we both enjoy watching each other giving and receiving oral off others though."

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

We started soft swap....had a few meets...

Found it got a bit boring, so went onto full swap!

OP only you can decide what is best suited to yourselves....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have always been into softswing but haven't rulled out full swap if it feels right and happens it does if doesn't it doesn't very much take it or leave it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose"

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have still yet to do either. Jumped straight in with an mmf which was scary.....and went ok but don't really know how to take the next step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

we are with each other, of course.

with others, we dont full swap, so bareback or not isnt a concern.

however, as said, fucking is functional, for reproducing.

oral sex is purely for pleasure and serves no other purpose.

and, lets not forget, pregnancy can happen if you use any amount of contraception.

the only 100% contraceptive device is not doing it at all, but as said, TO ME the act of full sex is more intimate, because its what you WOULD do to start a family.

no amount of sucking dick/licking pussy would result in a family so not as intimate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

What makes you come to the conclusion that they are barebackers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

What makes you come to the conclusion that they are barebackers?"

tbf i probably didnt explain myself too clearly.

and possible still havent lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

What makes you come to the conclusion that they are barebackers?

tbf i probably didnt explain myself too clearly.

and possible still havent lol"

I knew what you meant before you explained it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends why people got into swinging in the first place. We got into it cause I (f) wanted to enjoy some fun with women. We started at soft swap but after struggling to find one meet at that level we moved onto full swap. Luckily we both enjoy seeing each other with someone of the opposite sex although it still remains on the back burner at a meet for us. Unfortunately as soon as we went full swap, finding proper girl girl fun at a meet has been more difficult. We don't regret going full swap although still haven't found that happy medium yet between what we want and what is readily available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

we are with each other, of course.

with others, we dont full swap, so bareback or not isnt a concern.

however, as said, fucking is functional, for reproducing.

oral sex is purely for pleasure and serves no other purpose.

and, lets not forget, pregnancy can happen if you use any amount of contraception.

the only 100% contraceptive device is not doing it at all, but as said, TO ME the act of full sex is more intimate, because its what you WOULD do to start a family.

no amount of sucking dick/licking pussy would result in a family so not as intimate."

Aha but on the other side of this debate.... with oral sex you are using your mouth to pleasure someones genitalia....which we think is very intimate and personal. And involves a great deal of trust.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Our first meet was soft .it was ok for getting naked with another couple .and wife enjoyed her first fem play .but we much prefer full swap as wife likes to be taken hard .she likes a bit of rough .and you cant get that with soft .but we respect others boundaries and just go for what we want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just us or is oral a lot more intimate than fucking....in particular fucking from behind.

nope, its all just as intimate, but, to me personally, i have never heard of anyone creating a family by swallowing spunk, which makes having sex a little more 'just for us' as it were.

oral sex is just a pleasure thing, and never will be anything more than that because it serves no further purpose

Erm....how does that happen when you are wearing a condom?

Are you barebackers?

we are with each other, of course.

with others, we dont full swap, so bareback or not isnt a concern.

however, as said, fucking is functional, for reproducing.

oral sex is purely for pleasure and serves no other purpose.

and, lets not forget, pregnancy can happen if you use any amount of contraception.

the only 100% contraceptive device is not doing it at all, but as said, TO ME the act of full sex is more intimate, because its what you WOULD do to start a family.

no amount of sucking dick/licking pussy would result in a family so not as intimate.

Aha but on the other side of this debate.... with oral sex you are using your mouth to pleasure someones genitalia....which we think is very intimate and personal. And involves a great deal of trust."

not as much trust as it does someone sticking their bits in each others (as in diseases) yes, you can catch things off oral, but chances are very slim.

lets not forget the actual reason why we started playing was because V wanted to be with another woman, so there is no real need to want to full swap.

if she had expressed a desire to be with other blokes, then we may well have looked into it, but there is no desire there.

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