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Couples Profile vs Single Girls

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just an observation but something that does irritate us a bit.

We have a couples profile on here and I also have a single girl profile specifically for meeting ladies. Something I like to do but I do like my partner around for the first meet or two or until I feel safe. Not always watching but just around. The profile states this. I don't meet couples on that profile either unless just the lady is playing and they are happy for my partner to be there, again for safety.

Now over the last 18 months we have had half a dozen couples we have messaged as a couple and have had blunt or rude replies back. Almost all of these have since messaged on the single girl profile and have magically changed their opinions of me. They clearly haven't read the profile as they want me to meet alone with both of them and they couldn't be nicer!

We have also found the same with a few couples we have chatted to for a ages as a couple, they know we are a genuine couple but they post a meet looking for a guy and if C is off work I have said to him to drop them a message and see if they would like a meet or a social with him and then arrange something for all four of us when we are free. Suddenly the whole attitude changes and the blunt one line replies start coming. It makes you realise what some of the single guys complain about on here.

Don't get me wrong it is the minority who do it and a lot of people still behave as if they are talking to us as before but it really irritates us!

Any of you find the same double standards?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sadly couples who may have struggled to getting meets have jumped on a bandwagon of creating single bi fems profiles as they attracts a lot more attention

and then a partner has to attend

not so single then.

not suggesting you are, just putting some possible context

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes us chuckle when the same people that send me abuse or ignore me are busy winking/messaging my wife.

Then complain that she's ignored them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us any single fem profile that has the line partner present we report as for us no matter how genuine its a couple and if we wanted a couple we would speak to a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sadly couples who may have struggled to getting meets have jumped on a bandwagon of creating single bi fems profiles as they attracts a lot more attention

and then a partner has to attend

not so single then.

not suggesting you are, just putting some possible context"

I agree with his too. We have single profiles because she's looking to meet on her own and we can't meet as a couple at the mo. But it is irritating when she finds a 'single' she might be interested in and then it turns out it's a 'single' only intending to meet as a couple. That should be a couples profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/09/13 17:30:25]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't understand that approach. The profile is crystal clear what I am looking for. Explicitly states I will meet alone (and I have done plenty of times) but only after I have met in safe circumstances with my partner and refers people (couple AND women) who want to play with us as a couple to our couples profile.

So I would be pretty annoyed if I got reported for that. Especially as we are only doing it with regard for personal safety.

And that wasn't the question. The question was why do people have double standards with regard to couples and singles. If you want to have a dig at people for choosing to operate their swinging life their own way then fine but at least have the courtesy to answer the thread question

And we clearly don't struggle for meets as a couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wasnt having a dig

But will make the point clear if you only meet from a single profile with a partner no matter what the reason or if its just the first meet. It's a couple meet. It's also against site rules.

It's frustrating when you are looking for a single of either sex only to be told I only come with my partner hence why some people may get shirty or come across as double standards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading again - are you saying you sometimes use your couples profile to suggest the male meets on his own?

If so we've always blocked those on the assumption that it's probably just a bloke ie. a likely fake. Clearly in your case that would be an incorrect assumption - but just by way of possible explanation.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

cool...

others may offer up alternative _iews, then you can consider

have you asked the people you messaged why they changed

good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok so we generally only message from C when we have chatted as a couple for a while and either met, spoken on the phone or offer to both speak on the phone first. As a we have had complaints of messaging as a single from a couples profile.

So it seems you can't win. You can't have a single profile if you are a couple but want to meet alone after a safety meet. And you can't message as a

single from a couples profile as you get considered a fake.

So as a couple you can't win in this situation lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you can look for single meets from single profiles and look for couples meet with a couples profile.

I don't think people mind that too much!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it depends on how you worded it on your single fem profile.

If he was there for a first meet as a social, say for a coffee and a chat I'd be ok with that.

If he was there for an actual play meet then I wouldn't want to meet you.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't think any couple on here struggle to meet other couples, IF they message the right couples.

As for being a single woman, of course they are nicer to you! That's who they all want to meet! And of course they are less nice to the male partner when on his own - they think he's getting round filters by using a couples profile to message them.

We all have preferences, and sometimes you won't match them. Just move on to the next profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah I can see all the above points if someone was NOT upfront about what they were looking for. I personally don't think any of them hold any water if I am completely upfront which the profile is, and the first message I send in reply to anyone is asking if they have read the profile and am aware of what I want. There is zero chance of anyone walking into situation that they are not expecting.

Ok so getting back to the original question and away from the diversion.....

It just seems odd to us that a couple will say they don't want to meet me as part of a couple as I am not slim enough etc etc, but they would happily meet me as a single girl!

that is the point of irritation.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

Ok so getting back to the original question and away from the diversion.....

It just seems odd to us that a couple will say they don't want to meet me as part of a couple as I am not slim enough etc etc, but they would happily meet me as a single girl!

that is the point of irritation. "

apologies for diverting it... I misread the original OP

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meeting single women is hard on here as there isn't as many as there is couples. Because of this some of them will lower there standards just to meet a single fem.

On the other point if you are wanting to meet as a couple regardless of the reason and even if it is just a social then that shouldn't be a singles account. 2 people are a couple not a single.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people! "

And it is absolutely right for you to have that choice. Nothing is being hidden. It can't be much clearer than it is and as I said I double check on the first reply. And it obviously can work as we have we have found people looking for the same. But again that wasn't the point of the post.

I think I am going to give up on these forums. C posts occasionally but I have posted a few times and it seems the general attitude is to ignore the question and see if there is anything at all in the post or profile that can be picked apart. It is a shame as there are lovely people on here, it just doesn't reflect that in here. I see a lot of complaints people don't read profiles, it seems the same problem is in here, just don't read the posts.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"For us any single fem profile that has the line partner present we report as for us no matter how genuine its a couple and if we wanted a couple we would speak to a couple."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/09/13 18:41:18]

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people!

And it is absolutely right for you to have that choice. Nothing is being hidden. It can't be much clearer than it is and as I said I double check on the first reply. And it obviously can work as we have we have found people looking for the same. But again that wasn't the point of the post.

I think I am going to give up on these forums. C posts occasionally but I have posted a few times and it seems the general attitude is to ignore the question and see if there is anything at all in the post or profile that can be picked apart. It is a shame as there are lovely people on here, it just doesn't reflect that in here. I see a lot of complaints people don't read profiles, it seems the same problem is in here, just don't read the posts.

"

Well I do apologise as I am not a couple and therefore could not answer your original question, but I see the above post has, however, I did pick up (admittedly wrongly), the part about meeting as a single but taking your partner with you for safety reason, if I was a Bi single female, that wouldn't be in my comfort zone and hence why I responded, so a sincere apology to you, and please don't let this put you off from posting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah I can see all the above points if someone was NOT upfront about what they were looking for. I personally don't think any of them hold any water if I am completely upfront which the profile is, and the first message I send in reply to anyone is asking if they have read the profile and am aware of what I want. There is zero chance of anyone walking into situation that they are not expecting.

Ok so getting back to the original question and away from the diversion.....

It just seems odd to us that a couple will say they don't want to meet me as part of a couple as I am not slim enough etc etc, but they would happily meet me as a single girl!

that is the point of irritation. "

This is the first time you have mentioned about slim. So that would change things slightly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people!

And it is absolutely right for you to have that choice. Nothing is being hidden. It can't be much clearer than it is and as I said I double check on the first reply. And it obviously can work as we have we have found people looking for the same. But again that wasn't the point of the post.

I think I am going to give up on these forums. C posts occasionally but I have posted a few times and it seems the general attitude is to ignore the question and see if there is anything at all in the post or profile that can be picked apart. It is a shame as there are lovely people on here, it just doesn't reflect that in here. I see a lot of complaints people don't read profiles, it seems the same problem is in here, just don't read the posts.

"

You have been incredibly touchy when people have been giving you honest answers?

YES it is double standards for a couple to say they aren't interested in you as part of a couple because they don't find you attractive, but then they message you on your single profile BUT as Mr P said earlier they might be prepared to 'flex' their own preferences to meet a single woman.

BUT you should not have a single profile if you're trying to meet them the first time (and possibly second as you said above!) as a couple - regardless if it's for safety. I have a single profile & when I've had meets I have taken safety precautions, but would never suggest another single woman should meet me WITH mr P? It's double standards in itself!!

.....and if it bothers you when couples message who have blown you out as a couple then you should block them from messaging on your singles profile?!?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

with all due respect, I answered your question the way I read it: I then apologised if I had misread it.

I apologise again for not giving you the answer you seek

don't let it put you off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people!

And it is absolutely right for you to have that choice. Nothing is being hidden. It can't be much clearer than it is and as I said I double check on the first reply. And it obviously can work as we have we have found people looking for the same. But again that wasn't the point of the post.

I think I am going to give up on these forums. C posts occasionally but I have posted a few times and it seems the general attitude is to ignore the question and see if there is anything at all in the post or profile that can be picked apart. It is a shame as there are lovely people on here, it just doesn't reflect that in here. I see a lot of complaints people don't read profiles, it seems the same problem is in here, just don't read the posts.

"

Well why dont you scub the single profile and simply put the option on your couple profile that you will meet females one to one? No one is misled, misunderstood or hacked off. Also your point about the couples posting for a meet with a male, why would you think it ok then to get your guy to meet them socially only to arrange something for you both at a later date, surely if they are looking for a male then that's what they want and not a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Well why dont you scub the single profile and simply put the option on your couple profile that you will meet females one to one? No one is misled, misunderstood or hacked off. Also your point about the couples posting for a meet with a male, why would you think it ok then to get your guy to meet them socially only to arrange something for you both at a later date, surely if they are looking for a male then that's what they want and not a couple."

This is another good point actually as I didn't answer the part about your fella, but I totally agree with what's said above. How can you expect people (whether singles/couples) to respect your preferences if you don't respect theirs? If couples have a meet on for a single M, they do not want to meet a couple?! Plus they will no doubt just assume he is trying to play behind your back. He should have a single M profile too, but only get in touch with people from that profile if he intends on meeting/playing by himself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Well why dont you scub the single profile and simply put the option on your couple profile that you will meet females one to one? No one is misled, misunderstood or hacked off."

This is what I was going to suggest. I think people only jumped on this point because its against site rules to have a single profile but only meet with a partner - the person you are meeting is not meeting a single girl, they are meeting a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this the opposite way round. We messaged a single woman and she did not reply at all, just deleted our message, yet the same girl on a couples profile messaged us asking for a meet. When we confronted her about it she played dumb saying she was interested and must of deleted our message by accident :/

Needless to say we weren't interested in her anymore or her partner for that matter.

Funnily enough though since then she has stopped swinging - probably because she obviously didn't know what she wanted.

(btw the couples profile still stated she meets alone)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's fair to write a lengthy post that raises various points and then take issue with people that respond to some of them.

I hadn't picked up the weight issue at all until your more succinct follow up comment.

In any case you've had plenty of suggestions as to why you might be receiving the responses you have, most of which I'd have thought would be of some help even though they may not sit comfortably with what you'd prefer to hear.

Good luck

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"

Well why dont you scub the single profile and simply put the option on your couple profile that you will meet females one to one? No one is misled, misunderstood or hacked off.

This is what I was going to suggest. I think people only jumped on this point because its against site rules to have a single profile but only meet with a partner - the person you are meeting is not meeting a single girl, they are meeting a couple."

Yeah its pretty simple isnt it, we have "single" profile just so we can both go on chat at the same time having a "single" profile just to boost up messages you get is the ultimate in the bait and switch.

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By *exiSlutBabeWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

I have a single female profile but live as part of an FFM trio, we don't have a combined profile though the couple I live with have both a couples profile and single profiles each.

I play alone when I go to clubs not as a 3 some so I am entitled to my single female profile, I do not insist that either of my partners are present.

The couple also play alone via their single profiles and neither require the other partner to be present.

They meet as a couple or we meet as a 3 some via their couples profile.

I too hate seeing a "single fem" profile that requires a partner or FB to be present even if it is just to watch it means he is part of the equation and therefore a couple who should have a couples profile.

The OP will not meet (initially) without him present therefore is not single.

All the OP needs to do is state on their couples profile that the criteria for her playing alone with other fems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow! What a read.....should all the "couples" who want rules read societies rules of marriage? We are all breaking some sort of rule each day....speeding, drinking, swearing, you name it.

Why such a debate over the rules when there clearly are none any more?

I think IMHO (in my humble opinion) that everyone is entitled to a profile which suits them and of course their undeniable right to be safe in any circumstance.

I can fully understand the need for any single female (whether single or part of a couple) having a means of safety.....just imagine walking into a room to play with a couple only to find they have a few more "friends" present and the moment the handcuffs and the blindfold go on there is NO more safety for that person.

Anyway shouldn't you all be out shagging at the moment or at least attempting to contact someone and have FUN!

Go on try that ......big love to you all and ......stay safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or playing devils advocate, I am a single female and I have to find my own way to keep myself safe, I certainly wouldn't want to walk into a situation social or play where I was meeting two people!

And it is absolutely right for you to have that choice. Nothing is being hidden. It can't be much clearer than it is and as I said I double check on the first reply. And it obviously can work as we have we have found people looking for the same. But again that wasn't the point of the post.

I think I am going to give up on these forums. C posts occasionally but I have posted a few times and it seems the general attitude is to ignore the question and see if there is anything at all in the post or profile that can be picked apart. It is a shame as there are lovely people on here, it just doesn't reflect that in here. I see a lot of complaints people don't read profiles, it seems the same problem is in here, just don't read the posts.

"

Apologies. I read your OP earlier and also your later posts and replied on a combination of both.

I have now re-read your OP but I am confused as to what your original question was. I think you are asking why couples treat couples differently to single females and single males- is this correct?

If so, I think it is because when a couple want to meet a single female they are very rare and so they 'drop their standards' just in the hope of a meet. I absolutely don't mean that in a bad way against you, just saying it the way I see it.

I have had something similar- people have asked to meet me on my own profile without even seeing any photo's. But I avoid those types of people because clearly they are just looking for a female spare part, not a person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok so everyone has different opinions of the way we operate. That's fine and it works for us. We are upfront about it at least.

How many people on here have had a message from a single girl who suddenly produces a FB or FWB a few messages down the line. We have countless times. That is deceitful. Stating upfront what you are looking for and how you would arrange that is, in our opinion, not.

Yes we could put it on our couples profile but we tried and it didn't work. Whereas my partner is happy to sit and watch TV, chat or stay in the bar for another few drinks while I wander off early with the girl we haven't found many other couples who would be happy with that. He is around to make sure I am safe and it is not two guys or something turn up. Also the reason we did it was that we saw a lot of profiles where other couples were looking for similar so thought it could be a way of finding what we were looking for.

As I seem to have some sort of problem getting my question across I will rephrase it.

Why is it that some people who are happy to tell me outright I am too big for them as part of a couple are quite happy to meet me as a single girl and suddenly I become the sexiest thing since Marilyn.

None of it really matters anyway as the single profile has gone as we didn't realise it was against the rules and don't want to risk this profile.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Well as, going by your photos, you're not that big I'd say they were just making excuses. Remember a couple usually have to fancy both partners in another couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me a single profile that says a partner will be there isnt a single profile or a couples one that states they play alone isnt for me either.

If i wanted to meet a lady it would be just that...and likewise for couples or guys...and the safety thing well what about mine.

Each to their own and i get where you are coming from with double standards but a single fem that meets with her partner is just that to me...

But if they get shitty move on and dont worry about it.

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