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Single guys in clubs

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By *sian_coupleuk OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

We went to a club yesterday to chill out, relax, socialise and when mood arises play.

We met a sexy attractive cpl who had been messaging via KIK and were happy to show them around as it was their 1st time. We had a nice time socialising with them and watching them play but they had to leave after a while.

Now there weren't many other cpls and mostly single men. We enjoy socialising and having a convo with them and "put on a show" for them where they watch me and jay play. The problem arises when you clearly state watch only and some feel they can bend the rules and get a cheap grope of feel up...

This ruins our mood and totally puts jay off from playing.

Also we were in the jucuzzi shattered playing about 4/5 times and relaxing when 2 guys (mates who came in together) climbed into hottub - now they could clearly see Jay relaxing eyes closed etc and one of them thought it would be good to stoke her leg... No problem but after 2 mins he made a quick bee-line for her bum and shoved a finger up her pussy. This upset jay and being shy and quiet she moved and climbed out of the tub. Me not aware of what happened I stayed abut longer when the other guy goes would "would your gorgeous like to go into a room with me and my mate"

I simple said no and left them to it. No hellos, no socialising - such bad manners. Ruins it for the rest. What are your thoughts and experiences?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

did you report to the management

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some pigs who go to clubs, but most of the time a stern NO goes a long way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a time where my oh had said no to a guy a few times, whilst playing in an open room. She changed positions and the guy tried it on again. She raised her voice at him, at which time I escorted him out of the room.

Most guys are polite, but as many have said before, some see entry to a club as a guarantee to play.

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By *anther and gothic angelCouple
over a year ago

fairy land

I've had the same problems with females, it's not only single guys that just think they have a right to grab etc and won't take no for an answer...Angel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had the same problems with females, it's not only single guys that just think they have a right to grab etc and won't take no for an answer...Angel"

But I would imagine the females are in a very, very tiny minority in relation to the annoying guys.

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By *sian_coupleuk OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time. "

She only made me aware whilst we got changed at which point we decided let it slip without any aggro. But what we don't get is if Wazzy went to the club as a single male, he would never grope or touch another lady without asking, so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv been as a single male an its people like that that spoil it for the single guys who are genuine an respect what women an couples want.

Like others have said dont let it out you off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time.

She only made me aware whilst we got changed at which point we decided let it slip without any aggro. But what we don't get is if Wazzy went to the club as a single male, he would never grope or touch another lady without asking, so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel? "

that seems to be the size of it in some cases.

and, unfortunately, it seems to be a complaint that is becoming all to common.

that said, if people have good things to say about clubs they tend to post them in the clubs section, or the feedback area, so probably wont see many posts about good club meets.

just as an aside, that is an extremely sexy/sultry profile pic.

lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is that element of respect i suppose. They did not respect your boundaries. Just hope she is okay, as incidents like that to make further meets in similar situations awkward.

..one thing is for sure. You both should make sure you stand your ground, and if there is anything making you both uncomfortable you should put an end to it there and then.

I havent been to a club yet. But, i do plan to. One of the reasons i havent gone is because of that. I like to watch, sit back and talk with people (men or women) and have a laugh. If anyone invites me over for something more, only then will i go ahead.

But my approach seems more 'vanilla' maybe. I dont like being too hands on.

At the end of the day. Some people are just ignorant bastards!

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel? "

Yes, that's exactly why some men (and women) think they can touch a feel

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but if you don't report, how can the club deal with the offenders/repeat offenders and bar them.

yes they can have staff roam the premises but it will allow them to deal in the moment and stop other people's fun being ruined

good luck next visit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a firm believer in beating these types of guy with a dirty 12 inch analy inserted dildos. Muppetts like these spoil it for the rest of us by keep genuine fun couples away from clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time.

She only made me aware whilst we got changed at which point we decided let it slip without any aggro. But what we don't get is if Wazzy went to the club as a single male, he would never grope or touch another lady without asking, so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel? "

If it ever happens again REPORT IT!

If nothing happens and they get away with it because you say or do nothing, they WILL do it again with others, and it encourages it more and more.

Tell you, if they did that(what you described) to Miss, they would have had a broken nose.. from her!

Please report such behavior, regardless of the aggro, regardless of the person, single girl, couple, or single guy.

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By *sian_coupleuk OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"It is that element of respect i suppose. They did not respect your boundaries. Just hope she is okay, as incidents like that to make further meets in similar situations awkward.

..one thing is for sure. You both should make sure you stand your ground, and if there is anything making you both uncomfortable you should put an end to it there and then.

I havent been to a club yet. But, i do plan to. One of the reasons i havent gone is because of that. I like to watch, sit back and talk with people (men or women) and have a laugh. If anyone invites me over for something more, only then will i go ahead.

But my approach seems more 'vanilla' maybe. I dont like being too hands on.

At the end of the day. Some people are just ignorant bastards!

"

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By *sian_coupleuk OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Some excellent advise and we will be reporting such incidents. But one thing for sure it does seem to be common and more amongst the younger guys. Also we believe it's asking for trouble when clubs let in men in groups of 2+. Going in with mates encourages the men to push their luck etc... But guess hard to police from a staff point of _iew.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"Some excellent advise and we will be reporting such incidents. But one thing for sure it does seem to be common and more amongst the younger guys. Also we believe it's asking for trouble when clubs let in men in groups of 2+. Going in with mates encourages the men to push their luck etc... But guess hard to police from a staff point of _iew. "

I can only agree but idiots and I can only call them idiots that act that like that should be reported and kicked out straight away. What ever happened to have an actually chat or conversation?? J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also we were in the jucuzzi shattered playing about 4/5 times and relaxing when 2 guys (mates who came in together) climbed into hottub - now they could clearly see Jay relaxing eyes closed etc and one of them thought it would be good to stoke her leg... No problem but after 2 mins he made a quick bee-line for her bum and shoved a finger up her pussy. This upset jay and being shy and quiet she moved and climbed out of the tub. Me not aware of what happened I stayed abut longer when the other guy goes would "would your gorgeous like to go into a room with me and my mate"

To a guy, surely allowing him to " stroke her leg"

Was a green light?

I understand he overstepped the boundary but he was allowed to stroke ...

Also the comment about not allowing 2 mates in a club is discrimination. Two female mates are allowed.

Perhaps it would be more beneficial to only attend couples nights?

Observation only and not criticism

X .

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"Also we were in the jucuzzi shattered playing about 4/5 times and relaxing when 2 guys (mates who came in together) climbed into hottub - now they could clearly see Jay relaxing eyes closed etc and one of them thought it would be good to stoke her leg... No problem but after 2 mins he made a quick bee-line for her bum and shoved a finger up her pussy. This upset jay and being shy and quiet she moved and climbed out of the tub. Me not aware of what happened I stayed abut longer when the other guy goes would "would your gorgeous like to go into a room with me and my mate"

To a guy, surely allowing him to " stroke her leg"

Was a green light?

I understand he overstepped the boundary but he was allowed to stroke ...

Also the comment about not allowing 2 mates in a club is discrimination. Two female mates are allowed.

Perhaps it would be more beneficial to only attend couples nights?

Observation only and not criticism

X . "

I see some of ur point the guys just assumed it was ok to feel up his partner. It is only manners to say hello and make sure the couple are comfortable with the situation first. Personally as a single male there is no way I would get in a hot tub with a cpl without chatting to them and seeing if they were interested in taking things further. J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...like they say. You have to 'nip it in the bud'. These sort of things you cannot just leave it and not report it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The many times I have been Kestrels with a friend its only twice singles have caused a problem.

One insisted on standing by the locked door of a shed wanking. We just stopped, he got board.

The other started to beg to be let in. I told him if he did not stop I would report him to the management. He left quickly.

So neither so bad, but both very rude. Where is the civil behaviour, chatting, getting to know each other and then being invited to play. I would never impose.

Of course, once invited .... Mmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time.

She only made me aware whilst we got changed at which point we decided let it slip without any aggro. But what we don't get is if Wazzy went to the club as a single male, he would never grope or touch another lady without asking, so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel? "

Please don't shoot me for saying this but the reason this keeps happening and will keep happening is because some guys are so immature they only see a object.

a sex object in a place designed to bring consenting adults together for recreational sexual fun .

These types of guys never see a human being in front of them only a object to be desired which leads to the kind of behavior being talked about in this post .

Sorry if i sound kind of hard and uncaring in this post but that's what I think is happening with the guys who behave like this if you pulled them up the next thing out of there mouth would not have been a apology it would have been something like this " hay man I thought we were all here to have fun "

If someones says something similar to that it kind of proves my point.

there a object here for me to have fun with that's what the object here for so as a object for fun its OK to do as I want to said object .

Its a case of a immature and warped mind being allowed into a situation it can not understand which leads to the problems being talked about in this post .

The only answer is to be very blunt with guys who cross lines without a invite trust me if you knock them down a peg or two about there behavior your not only doing yourself a favor but every other couple and female out there as well.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I agree with no ego.

The only way to make guys like this modify their behaviour is to not only make it clear that they have crossed a line but also to do it publicly.

If (it's rare but has happened) I get handled at a club I grab the offending hand and using my best 'strict nanny' voice and manner I ask what they were doing. Loudly.

I then (not letting go of hand, in fact waving it in front of their face) ask why they think it's acceptable to sexually assault a woman. I ask if I in any way intimated that I wanted random men molest me and I ask how they would feel if it happened to them from male or female.

By this point they are thoroughly embarrassed and desperate for me to stop making a scene as it will ruin their chances with anyone else.

Sometimes I let them go, sometimes make the Hell last a little longer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I was relaxing in a jacuzzi with my fuckbuddy chatting when a guy asked if he could join us

I could see my FB thought the guy was attactive. However rather than chatting to us he sat there staring then started stroking her leg

At that she got out and we went elsewhere in the club

Now if he'd chatted there was a chance he could have had some fun.

So the lesson to single guys is chat with ladies & couples and don't simply assume that a lady will let you touch her. After all would they walk up to a lady in a pub or night club and start stroking her ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time.

She only made me aware whilst we got changed at which point we decided let it slip without any aggro. But what we don't get is if Wazzy went to the club as a single male, he would never grope or touch another lady without asking, so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel?

Please don't shoot me for saying this but the reason this keeps happening and will keep happening is because some guys are so immature they only see a object.

a sex object in a place designed to bring consenting adults together for recreational sexual fun .

These types of guys never see a human being in front of them only a object to be desired which leads to the kind of behavior being talked about in this post .

Sorry if i sound kind of hard and uncaring in this post but that's what I think is happening with the guys who behave like this if you pulled them up the next thing out of there mouth would not have been a apology it would have been something like this " hay man I thought we were all here to have fun "

If someones says something similar to that it kind of proves my point.

there a object here for me to have fun with that's what the object here for so as a object for fun its OK to do as I want to said object .

Its a case of a immature and warped mind being allowed into a situation it can not understand which leads to the problems being talked about in this post .

The only answer is to be very blunt with guys who cross lines without a invite trust me if you knock them down a peg or two about there behavior your not only doing yourself a favor but every other couple and female out there as well."

So true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I can completely relate to what you are saying.

We always play together in a public room at a club. I am an exhibitionist and I am ok with people watching. Just because the two of us, as a couple, just play together publicly, does not mean I am a free for all and on most occasions we do have to tell at least one guy.

Many are polite, they tend to ask my OH if it's ok to play. He knows my signals so will say no. If I like a guy I will smile and make eye contact and I may say hello. This means that I'm happy for him to join, not necessarily for full sex, but for foreplay.

There are men who see a woman playing and think she's game. When they touch me either I or my OH will batt them off like flies. I have had occasion when one guy touched me after I've said no, to this I always say, in a loud assertive voice so that everyone can hear, 'do not touch me'. This always works as they usually scuttle off because my OH is glaring at them and also any other respectful single guys will often glare because they dont want the idiots in a club anymore than women do.

I attend clubs a lot and it's a common occurrence and it is something you have to be assertive and strong about.

If I don't want any groping then I'll go to the couples room. Whilst potentially you have other husbands in there who may try and grope, I find a no to them, within the wife's hearing, always suffices. He won't usually dare cross his wife.

Only once in 3 years have I had a guy really grab me. He was with his wife, they were an older couple, I was passing him to get out of the jacuzzi and he put his legs around me and said 'ive watched you all night, it's my turn now'. I couldn't move out of his leg hold. My OH had his back to us as he was grabbing his towel after getting out the jacuzzi. I shouted, get off me, let me go, and my OH got into the jacuzzi and roughly grabbed the blokes arm. He let me go whilst his wife sat there grinning. We reported them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I've said 'touching' in my other post, I mean touching my arm. I haven't had any guys go straight for my lady bits. I would respond a lot more forcibly if that was tried.

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By *essicaDamonCouple
over a year ago

Livingston

Having never been to a club and reading comments like these I doubt I ever would now. The situations people have descibed are very scary, what gives anyone the right to touch someone without their permission? Clubs are not whore houses are they? Surly paying at the door does not entitle you to do whatever you like to whoever you like,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having never been to a club and reading comments like these I doubt I ever would now. The situations people have descibed are very scary, what gives anyone the right to touch someone without their permission? Clubs are not whore houses are they? Surly paying at the door does not entitle you to do whatever you like to whoever you like, "

These are just examples of bad times- most of the time people are very respectful and friendly. Don't let it put you off.

Just be aware that it might (not necessarily) happen and know that it's ok to say no. Other people in the room will usually stick up for you too, as others have said.

I think the problem is if you're not really aware it might happen then it catches you off guard and you don't know what to do or say, like the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a good example of this in a club last night - most of the guys were just decent lads out for a good time and were really respectful of all the women. Sadly there were a few who were being a bit too full on when it wasn't desired and it was spoiling the atmosphere. The owner/manager doesn't take any of that nonsense and they were all made to leave by the doormen/security. Total change in the air once they were gone. I think something like this is much more helpful than banning guys altogether! (he says pleading. lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a guy grab nik in a club.I threatened knock his block off if he ddnt go away that second.really wound me up.

The bad ruin it for the genuine.

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By *irtyAndCh33kyCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

To be fare most single guys take no for answer and while we have come across a few that are a persistent nuisance when told 'no' it is very rare.

I've had more problems from the male halfs of couples that seem to think that because they are part of a couple that is gives them the right to a 'free for all'

Mrs Dirty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having never been to a club and reading comments like these I doubt I ever would now. The situations people have descibed are very scary, what gives anyone the right to touch someone without their permission? Clubs are not whore houses are they? Surly paying at the door does not entitle you to do whatever you like to whoever you like, "

Try a couples only evening - they tend to be more relaxed and you won't get any of the problems mentioned on the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was groped by a guy at a club last year - and I'm a male! Some words of advice sent him on his way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP but you allowed yourselves to get into a situation that clearly compromised your limitations.

If we are in the Jacuzzi at Chams and someone gets in that my OH has no wish to be touched by we either wait till he/they sit then swap sides or move away clearly indicating lack of interest or simply get out, there is absolutely no feckin rocket science to this.

If we were in the Jacuzzi in any club anywhere in the world and we allowed anyone to get in beside us, allowed them to get close enough so that they could touch and then got upset when they actually did touch we would be having a word with ourselves and not anyone else.

Basic drills in a club situation are as simple as. WE control every situation all might long by paying attention to what is going on around us and only playing where we feel comfy playing.

If wandering hands on a mixed night are a problem you are simply not taking proper care.

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By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

One of the reasons I don't go to club is because I don't trust other guys there

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway


"I'm a firm believer in beating these types of guy with a dirty 12 inch analy inserted dildos. Muppetts like these spoil it for the rest of us by keep genuine fun couples away from clubs."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just want to say that as a rule 99% of guy's who use clubs are decent, but there's always going to be that 1%, ive had it on occasion where when guy's realise im there as a single women they think it allows them to be pushy with me, as much as we don't like to be rude fuck off is the only language some understand and to be honest some don't understand that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry OP but you allowed yourselves to get into a situation that clearly compromised your limitations.

If we are in the Jacuzzi at Chams and someone gets in that my OH has no wish to be touched by we either wait till he/they sit then swap sides or move away clearly indicating lack of interest or simply get out, there is absolutely no feckin rocket science to this.

If we were in the Jacuzzi in any club anywhere in the world and we allowed anyone to get in beside us, allowed them to get close enough so that they could touch and then got upset when they actually did touch we would be having a word with ourselves and not anyone else.

Basic drills in a club situation are as simple as. WE control every situation all might long by paying attention to what is going on around us and only playing where we feel comfy playing.

If wandering hands on a mixed night are a problem you are simply not taking proper care.

"

what if your a single woman and have no one to swap side with? are you saying I should get out the Jacuzzi every time someone I don't fancy gets in or i'm allowing myself to be touched? there's always going to be someone in I don't want to play with so id never be able to use it

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

[Removed by poster at 22/09/13 21:30:38]

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"We went to a club yesterday to chill out, relax, socialise and when mood arises play.

We met a sexy attractive cpl who had been messaging via KIK and were happy to show them around as it was their 1st time. We had a nice time socialising with them and watching them play but they had to leave after a while.

Now there weren't many other cpls and mostly single men. We enjoy socialising and having a convo with them and "put on a show" for them where they watch me and jay play. The problem arises when you clearly state watch only and some feel they can bend the rules and get a cheap grope of feel up...

This ruins our mood and totally puts jay off from playing.

Also we were in the jucuzzi shattered playing about 4/5 times and relaxing when 2 guys (mates who came in together) climbed into hottub - now they could clearly see Jay relaxing eyes closed etc and one of them thought it would be good to stoke her leg... No problem but after 2 mins he made a quick bee-line for her bum and shoved a finger up her pussy. This upset jay and being shy and quiet she moved and climbed out of the tub. Me not aware of what happened I stayed abut longer when the other guy goes would "would your gorgeous like to go into a room with me and my mate"

I simple said no and left them to it. No hellos, no socialising - such bad manners. Ruins it for the rest. What are your thoughts and experiences? "

Begining to understand why single guys are frowned upon in clubs and exactly the reason i wont go. Dont wish to be tarred with that brush ever!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry OP but you allowed yourselves to get into a situation that clearly compromised your limitations.

If we are in the Jacuzzi at Chams and someone gets in that my OH has no wish to be touched by we either wait till he/they sit then swap sides or move away clearly indicating lack of interest or simply get out, there is absolutely no feckin rocket science to this.

If we were in the Jacuzzi in any club anywhere in the world and we allowed anyone to get in beside us, allowed them to get close enough so that they could touch and then got upset when they actually did touch we would be having a word with ourselves and not anyone else.

Basic drills in a club situation are as simple as. WE control every situation all might long by paying attention to what is going on around us and only playing where we feel comfy playing.

If wandering hands on a mixed night are a problem you are simply not taking proper care.

"

You make it sound like its no fun a game of looking over your shoulder at all times ....I'm sorry but where's the fun in that .

I can't imagine enjoying myself in a environment where i had to be on a high state of alert for trouble at all times .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You make it sound like its no fun a game of looking over your shoulder at all times ....I'm sorry but where's the fun in that .

I can't imagine enjoying myself in a environment where i had to be on a high state of alert for trouble at all times ."

Really

I thought I was making it sound like you enter a club knowing your own limits and boundaries and by taking a few extremely simple and easy to achieve adult precautions you ensure you have an enjoyable evening.

Not sure where I implied we spend all night looking over our shoulders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to Chams on my own, and if a gent touches me while I am relaxing in the jacuzzi without so much as a hello, then he will experience my cold shoulder treatment after I say my very firm and assertive "no thanks".

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Having never been to a club and reading comments like these I doubt I ever would now. The situations people have descibed are very scary, what gives anyone the right to touch someone without their permission? Clubs are not whore houses are they? Surly paying at the door does not entitle you to do whatever you like to whoever you like,

Try a couples only evening - they tend to be more relaxed and you won't get any of the problems mentioned on the thread "

This doesn't always work - male halves of couples can be just as bad as single men! In fact they seem to think that having a woman with them means it's ok.

This kind of behaviour is rare but the type of guy who thinks it's acceptable can be attached as well as single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You make it sound like its no fun a game of looking over your shoulder at all times ....I'm sorry but where's the fun in that .

I can't imagine enjoying myself in a environment where i had to be on a high state of alert for trouble at all times .

Really

I thought I was making it sound like you enter a club knowing your own limits and boundaries and by taking a few extremely simple and easy to achieve adult precautions you ensure you have an enjoyable evening.

Not sure where I implied we spend all night looking over our shoulders "

That's what I'm saying because of the popularity of clubs has grown over the years you are now probably getting more how to put this disrepectfull guys attending .

Which means that I would have to be on a high state of alert for the well being of my partner .

Where's the fun in that.

Its not the club or the past times thought its the idiots who attend ruining what should be a relaxing fun evening .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I go to Chams on my own, and if a gent touches me while I am relaxing in the jacuzzi without so much as a hello, then he will experience my cold shoulder treatment after I say my very firm and assertive "no thanks".

"

to be fair and im sure you have found the same, most guys don't just touch you without asking

I have found if I get in the Jacuzzi and there's a few guys in there they all just keep looking at me with that dare I go over or not look on their face, mostly men will make conversation with me some do just touch but its a small percentage

what I have found tho is that if one is brave enough to talk and we start playing the other guy's think that's a open invite to join in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I go to Chams on my own, and if a gent touches me while I am relaxing in the jacuzzi without so much as a hello, then he will experience my cold shoulder treatment after I say my very firm and assertive "no thanks".

"

Would you allow a gent you had Jo interest in to get that close in the first place?

Our understanding of the Chams tubs is that the 'under the water hand' is all part of the mystique hence we always move or leave if someone not to our fancy enters the tub.

It's why we hardly ever go in the round bed room on the first floor as that is an accepted free for all and very rarely enter the cinema.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having never been to a club and reading comments like these I doubt I ever would now. The situations people have descibed are very scary, what gives anyone the right to touch someone without their permission? Clubs are not whore houses are they? Surly paying at the door does not entitle you to do whatever you like to whoever you like,

Try a couples only evening - they tend to be more relaxed and you won't get any of the problems mentioned on the thread

This doesn't always work - male halves of couples can be just as bad as single men! In fact they seem to think that having a woman with them means it's ok.

This kind of behaviour is rare but the type of guy who thinks it's acceptable can be attached as well as single."

I agree, I find over all single men are more polite than couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I go to Chams on my own, and if a gent touches me while I am relaxing in the jacuzzi without so much as a hello, then he will experience my cold shoulder treatment after I say my very firm and assertive "no thanks".

Would you allow a gent you had Jo interest in to get that close in the first place?

Our understanding of the Chams tubs is that the 'under the water hand' is all part of the mystique hence we always move or leave if someone not to our fancy enters the tub.

It's why we hardly ever go in the round bed room on the first floor as that is an accepted free for all and very rarely enter the cinema. "

you cant dictate to people where they can sit, and to get up and move away from someone who has just sat next to you is arrogant in my opinion, they may have no interest in you and just sitting is the nearest gap, to get up and move incase they touch you seems a bit up your own arse again in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I agree, I find over all single men are more polite than couples"

Absolutely, with single guys the very first eye contact absolutely always sets the tone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you cant dictate to people where they can sit, and to get up and move away from someone who has just sat next to you is arrogant in my opinion, they may have no interest in you and just sitting is the nearest gap, to get up and move incase they touch you seems a bit up your own arse again in my opinion"

Here's a thought for you to consider, we never get groped or bothered by single guys or couples.

We do play with couples and we do play with single guys, of ours and their choosing and we always have good time.

If that is arrogant and up our own arse then so be it but we consider it simply taking responsibility for our selves and avoiding potential confrontation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you cant dictate to people where they can sit, and to get up and move away from someone who has just sat next to you is arrogant in my opinion, they may have no interest in you and just sitting is the nearest gap, to get up and move incase they touch you seems a bit up your own arse again in my opinion

Here's a thought for you to consider, we never get groped or bothered by single guys or couples.

We do play with couples and we do play with single guys, of ours and their choosing and we always have good time.

If that is arrogant and up our own arse then so be it but we consider it simply taking responsibility for our selves and avoiding potential confrontation "

but if you got in the Jacuzzi and someone got up and moved simply because you sat next to them, i'm not saying that is wrong but wouldn't you wonder what you had done wrong or think to yourself, well I only sat down what's wrong with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

plus its not really much of a confrontation or a big deal is it, someone touches you, you say no thanks they stop, it don't spoil my night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To anyone who said it may have been the OP's fault is completely wrong!

You do not touch someone unless you have asked permission, especially from someone you dont know.

I (mr) have had ladies touch me in hot tubs before not realising who it was.. i wans't happy and said so. But then im prepared to say so, not everyone is comfortable with confrontation - just like the OP said in their original post.

People should respect others boundaries, no matter where you are.

It's not just a single guy issue, it a issues across all users of club - people should ask permission first and foremost - not do it sneakily.

If you respect others you'll gain more respect back for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

but if you got in the Jacuzzi and someone got up and moved simply because you sat next to them, i'm not saying that is wrong but wouldn't you wonder what you had done wrong or think to yourself, well I only sat down what's wrong with them "

Not in the least. We are not everyone's cup of tea and in the same way everyone is not ours

The point I was making us that we avoid the situation the OP experienced but taking avoiding action.

The alternative is to politely sit there and hope that that politeness is not confused by the person next to us as clearance to 'shove your digit up my arse'

If our moving offends then such is life but as I said we don't get mauled or groped so clearly we are doing something right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry OP but you allowed yourselves to get into a situation that clearly compromised your limitations.

If we are in the Jacuzzi at Chams and someone gets in that my OH has no wish to be touched by we either wait till he/they sit then swap sides or move away clearly indicating lack of interest or simply get out, there is absolutely no feckin rocket science to this.

If we were in the Jacuzzi in any club anywhere in the world and we allowed anyone to get in beside us, allowed them to get close enough so that they could touch and then got upset when they actually did touch we would be having a word with ourselves and not anyone else.

Basic drills in a club situation are as simple as. WE control every situation all might long by paying attention to what is going on around us and only playing where we feel comfy playing.

If wandering hands on a mixed night are a problem you are simply not taking proper care.

"

She did get out of the jacuzzi...after being assaulted. I would never expect anyone in a club (or anywhere else for that matter!) to just randomly decide to put their fingers inside me without at least saying hello first. Just because they didn't leap out of the hottub as soon as the men got in that does not mean they put themselves in any kind of compromising position.

OP...this is a rarity but unfortunately it does sometimes happen as you have discovered. As others have stated, in future if anyone in a club touches you without permission you do need to speak up and tell them no. If they will not take no for an answer then report them to the staff. Their is no excuse for their behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but if you sit there, in a hot tub in a swingers club and allow a guy to sit next to you, move closer, touch you and then stick his fingers inside you

Pause and consider the timing and the mechanics of the above

The responsibility is shared.

A stop could have been put to this at any stage but allowing it to get to the fingers in stage is a schoolboy error.

The guy doing it must have been just as bloody confused because, he's got his fingers in another women before he discovers its not ok.............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but if you sit there, in a hot tub in a swingers club and allow a guy to sit next to you, move closer, touch you and then stick his fingers inside you

Pause and consider the timing and the mechanics of the above

The responsibility is shared.

A stop could have been put to this at any stage but allowing it to get to the fingers in stage is a schoolboy error.

The guy doing it must have been just as bloody confused because, he's got his fingers in another women before he discovers its not ok............. "

So it's ok to put your fingers in someone without checking they want you to first? As for the timing why does that matter...she may not have had time to move away or realised how close he was to her. Regardless, there is no way these actions can be condoned by anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So it's ok to put your fingers in someone without checking they want you to first? As for the timing why does that matter...she may not have had time to move away or realised how close he was to her. Regardless, there is no way these actions can be condoned by anyone."

Just a thought but did you read the OP's post and have you ever tried to get your fingers in a pussy sat on a bench underwater in a Jacuzzi, especially if said pussy was not open for trade?

As I said imagine the mechanics if it all and then come back and say its just the single guys fault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but if you sit there, in a hot tub in a swingers club and allow a guy to sit next to you, move closer, touch you and then stick his fingers inside you

Pause and consider the timing and the mechanics of the above

The responsibility is shared.

A stop could have been put to this at any stage but allowing it to get to the fingers in stage is a schoolboy error.

The guy doing it must have been just as bloody confused because, he's got his fingers in another women before he discovers its not ok............. "

I don't see that it makes any difference where it occurred. If you were on a date, bit of flirting, touching, hand on her leg would you consider the appropriate next step was to ram your hand up her skirt? Thought not!

We go to clubs and yes flirting and flirty touching do happen but we would never dream of prgressing from a hand on a leg to anything more sexual without it being crystal clear that it was ok. To even end up with my hand on a womans leg I would need to be damn sure she was ok with it.

Shouldn't happen. Full stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but if you sit there, in a hot tub in a swingers club and allow a guy to sit next to you, move closer, touch you and then stick his fingers inside you

Pause and consider the timing and the mechanics of the above

The responsibility is shared.

A stop could have been put to this at any stage but allowing it to get to the fingers in stage is a schoolboy error.

The guy doing it must have been just as bloody confused because, he's got his fingers in another women before he discovers its not ok.............

I don't see that it makes any difference where it occurred. If you were on a date, bit of flirting, touching, hand on her leg would you consider the appropriate next step was to ram your hand up her skirt? Thought not!

We go to clubs and yes flirting and flirty touching do happen but we would never dream of prgressing from a hand on a leg to anything more sexual without it being crystal clear that it was ok. To even end up with my hand on a womans leg I would need to be damn sure she was ok with it.

Shouldn't happen. Full stop. "

If a guy in a jacuzzi or anywhere else in a swingers club for that matter tried to get his fingers in my wife's pussy and she did not want him to then short of holding her down and forcibly prising her legs apart he would not be able to, end of!

Read the OP's post again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like being touched without being asked first, regardless whether it is above or below water!

It is not possible to dictate where peeps should sit in the jacuzzi.

That's why I normally go to Charms on a Sunday as soon as the door opens, and dash straight to the jacuzzi, so that I can have a nice soak in relative peace and quiet.

I would get out when it starts to get busy as hands may appear from nowhere.

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"

Read the OP's post again "

At the risk of diverging from the original topic (sorry OP) i cant read the OP's post. Having seen her prof pic i'm sort of stuck just perving at the young lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The incident in the jacuzzi is assault, she should have told the club owners and got the guy kicked out. Hope she's ok. Don't let it put you off.

We had one rude guy trying to join in the other week. He wasn't taking no for an answer but eventually he left us alone. It's not put me off though, I think I'll just be more assertive next time.

She only made me aware whilst we got changed at which point we decided let it slip without any aggro. But what we don't get is if Wazzy went to the club as a single male, he would never grope or touch another lady without asking, so why do some men think it is ok? Is it the perception they have that because they have paid for entrance into a club they can touch who they feel? "

I have no idea. I've not read further than this post as I am appalled. I have witnessed this the few times I have visited a club and thought that out of order. Some couples let it continue though so I assume they were friends. I'm sure they were and I did see men ask and were turned away and this why these threads about single men and those who ruin things as mentioned in other posts.

The comments so far are right in that this is assault and should have been reported. I as a single man don't want to be confused by this type of man who thinks they have right do anything they please and I hope I am in good company who agree that these are not the kind of people, and I say this as still a very inexperienced single guy at these places, who are really there for the real swing of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like being touched without being asked first, regardless whether it is above or below water!

It is not possible to dictate where peeps should sit in the jacuzzi.

That's why I normally go to Charms on a Sunday as soon as the door opens, and dash straight to the jacuzzi, so that I can have a nice soak in relative peace and quiet.

I would get out when it starts to get busy as hands may appear from nowhere.

"

An outstandingly sensible approach I might add

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but if you sit there, in a hot tub in a swingers club and allow a guy to sit next to you, move closer, touch you and then stick his fingers inside you

Pause and consider the timing and the mechanics of the above

The responsibility is shared.

A stop could have been put to this at any stage but allowing it to get to the fingers in stage is a schoolboy error.

The guy doing it must have been just as bloody confused because, he's got his fingers in another women before he discovers its not ok............. "

Thats what i thought and mentioned earlier. He was allowed to stroke her leg without a slap or a sharp no!!.... So moved to the next base.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

I find it hard to believe that anyone would sanction fingering a woman without saying a word to her.

As for how difficult is it to get a hand or finger up???? What?

I could get a finger up a straight guys arse quickly enough if that was my kink.

I really can't believe sexual assault has been laid at the OP's feet.

How about a revolutionary concept, like asking permission.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it hard to believe that anyone would sanction fingering a woman without saying a word to her.

As for how difficult is it to get a hand or finger up???? What?

I could get a finger up a straight guys arse quickly enough if that was my kink.

I really can't believe sexual assault has been laid at the OP's feet.

How about a revolutionary concept, like asking permission. "

Get yourself to a club, get in a hot tub sidle up the guy sat relaxing in there and try getting your digit up his arse.

Then come back,and let un know how you got on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but if you sit there, in a hot tub in a swingers club and allow a guy to sit next to you, move closer, touch you and then stick his fingers inside you

Pause and consider the timing and the mechanics of the above

The responsibility is shared.

A stop could have been put to this at any stage but allowing it to get to the fingers in stage is a schoolboy error.

The guy doing it must have been just as bloody confused because, he's got his fingers in another women before he discovers its not ok.............

Thats what i thought and mentioned earlier. He was allowed to stroke her leg without a slap or a sharp no!!.... So moved to the next base.

"

Nail on head!

Which sadly most here not actually comprehending

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By *sian_coupleuk OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

The lady was relaxing and laying on her side - which meant her ass was facing the one of the guys.

Whist some excellent ideas and feedback we are puzzled to believe that some ppl say it's our fault. We too have been clubbing for yrs an shared hot tubs with many single men who haven't laid a finger or tried any sly tactics so bit all men all like that.

We have no issue with sharing hot tubs - infact one of best places to hold a convo all relaxed etc. But in this case these 2 guys obviously had no manners.

One thing clear is that this seems more common than not that single men can cross the line and potentially ruin it for all the other single men.

P.s thanks to those who mentioned above they like our pix

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By *unlovers70Couple
over a year ago

Overseas

We have been in a similar situation before. Relaxing in a hot tub, guy starts stroking my (mrs) leg without any conversation and invitation. However, unlike the OP, it didn't get to the point where I had unwanted fingers inside of me as at the initial touch, I removed said hand and said no thanks! Not saying it's entirely your fault here but also am thinking the single guy can't take all the blame. Yes, he should've communicated with you but you also should've let him know you wasn't interested from the outset. I've been to clubs where my OH and I are having fun being watched by couples, guys and / or girls. At times the signal that they'd like to play is to stroke you somewhere non evasive, especially if you are having fun and conversation at that point in time isn't possible. At this point we usually say yes or no depending on attraction etc. As you hadn't told this guy no when he started stroking you, he has mistakenly taken it as a green light, perhaps wrong to do so but if he's been in a similar situation before...... So important lesson learned here - if anyone touches you, stop it immediately! Although we swing and enjoy fun with others from time to time, it's not nice feeling violated and abused by uninvited attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been in a similar situation before. Relaxing in a hot tub, guy starts stroking my (mrs) leg without any conversation and invitation. However, unlike the OP, it didn't get to the point where I had unwanted fingers inside of me as at the initial touch, I removed said hand and said no thanks! Not saying it's entirely your fault here but also am thinking the single guy can't take all the blame. Yes, he should've communicated with you but you also should've let him know you wasn't interested from the outset. I've been to clubs where my OH and I are having fun being watched by couples, guys and / or girls. At times the signal that they'd like to play is to stroke you somewhere non evasive, especially if you are having fun and conversation at that point in time isn't possible. At this point we usually say yes or no depending on attraction etc. As you hadn't told this guy no when he started stroking you, he has mistakenly taken it as a green light, perhaps wrong to do so but if he's been in a similar situation before...... So important lesson learned here - if anyone touches you, stop it immediately! Although we swing and enjoy fun with others from time to time, it's not nice feeling violated and abused by uninvited attention."

Absolutely spot on

Every club we have ever visited has a very strict NO means NO policy. This doesn't neccisarily require folks to actually say or shout the word as more often than not a look, a hand signal, a removing of the offending hand or simply moving away gets the message across quite clearly.

In the OP's case a single guy was allowed to approach, get into a position where he could touch, was allowed to continue to touch for 2 minutes and eventually able to easily access a ladys pussy.

This whole process took way more than 2 minutes and at no time in the whole process were any of the above NO means NO tactics employed.

As I stated before if a guy we did not want attention from ACTUALLY managed to get his fingers in my wife's pussy we would be asking ourselves some very serious questions with regards to our own stupidity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From our experience 90% of single guys are just a pain and spoil the experience. Good clubs do well with couples only nights.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"From our experience 90% of single guys are just a pain and spoil the experience. Good clubs do well with couples only nights. "

Yet I've had as many problems with attached guys as with single!

Rude men who don't respect boundaries can be single or attached.

And even in a swingers club touching someone without receiving permission first is assault.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I'm glad I don't need to go to clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From our experience 90% of single guys are just a pain and spoil the experience. Good clubs do well with couples only nights. "

In our experience 99% of single guys are an excellent addition to a club night or a party but as we actually seek fun with single guys and you dont perhaps our diffferance of opinion is understandable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been in a similar situation before. Relaxing in a hot tub, guy starts stroking my (mrs) leg without any conversation and invitation. However, unlike the OP, it didn't get to the point where I had unwanted fingers inside of me as at the initial touch, I removed said hand and said no thanks! Not saying it's entirely your fault here but also am thinking the single guy can't take all the blame. Yes, he should've communicated with you but you also should've let him know you wasn't interested from the outset. I've been to clubs where my OH and I are having fun being watched by couples, guys and / or girls. At times the signal that they'd like to play is to stroke you somewhere non evasive, especially if you are having fun and conversation at that point in time isn't possible. At this point we usually say yes or no depending on attraction etc. As you hadn't told this guy no when he started stroking you, he has mistakenly taken it as a green light, perhaps wrong to do so but if he's been in a similar situation before...... So important lesson learned here - if anyone touches you, stop it immediately! Although we swing and enjoy fun with others from time to time, it's not nice feeling violated and abused by uninvited attention.

Absolutely spot on

Every club we have ever visited has a very strict NO means NO policy. This doesn't neccisarily require folks to actually say or shout the word as more often than not a look, a hand signal, a removing of the offending hand or simply moving away gets the message across quite clearly.

In the OP's case a single guy was allowed to approach, get into a position where he could touch, was allowed to continue to touch for 2 minutes and eventually able to easily access a ladys pussy.

This whole process took way more than 2 minutes and at no time in the whole process were any of the above NO means NO tactics employed.

As I stated before if a guy we did not want attention from ACTUALLY managed to get his fingers in my wife's pussy we would be asking ourselves some very serious questions with regards to our own stupidity "

I am with these two on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say nobody has ever made a lunge for us without asking first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only bad incident with a single guy we have had is where one gently stroked the Mrs behind when she was at work on a bed where you had to ask first before approaching a couple. He was an old guy who did It drive by style.

On the flipside I was mid session one night and a couple came up to us and the guy just grabbed my toe and started to pull on it to get our attention.

And just this weekend I opened my eyes from a blowjob to find a male from a couple standing over me tugging away when we were on a private bed. Didn't say anything just stood tugging while his partner stood a couple of feet away looking. Very weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twats like that ruin it for genuine single chaps. You should have twisted his nuts so he squealed like a pig.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From our experience 90% of single guys are just a pain and spoil the experience. Good clubs do well with couples only nights.

Yet I've had as many problems with attached guys as with single!

Rude men who don't respect boundaries can be single or attached.

And even in a swingers club touching someone without receiving permission first is assault."

Not that I expect I will ever visit a club for the many reasons given what lots of couples say about single guys in clubs. Perhaps if I couldn't accom I would consider it but doubt it. From what I am reading it sounds like many so called single guys might not be single at all. I must be a 10%er.

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By *unwithus2.Couple
over a year ago

south kent

the g/friend and i went to a club in kent going back about 2 years ago when it was a mixed evening more guys than couples, we was sitting next to the pool relaxing and watching guys trying to get into the sauna with some couples,

the room was fairly quite when all of a sudden this good looking women sat up and slapped this guy round the face echoing in the room from the slap,it was pretty hard and told him you never touch me again like that pervert, she shouted, telling him to get out, the husband whent belistic at him

i don't know what he did but it obviously offended her he was that embarrassed he got out and walked passed us holding his red hand marked face from her slap

your all so right its guys like this that spoil all the fun for others, needless to say the g/f at the time didnt like the idea of clubs after that

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By *ogistical NightmaresCouple
over a year ago

Manchester Area

There are some decent polite guys about. Unfortunately these are the exception rather than the rule

In the past we've experienced

A guy in a sauna just reaching over and grabbing my boob. My other half gave him his look and he went. We reported him to staff and he was reprimanded, but when we into the jacuzzi, he placed himself directly in my eyeline and oggled, ok not a shootable offence but very disconcerting. Luckily the staff saw it and told him to leave

We've also been followed from room to room to Jacuzzi, winds both of us up. Surely guys must get the message that you are not interested.

Other stories are available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ANY unwanted incident or attention should be reported to management so they can police this sort of thing, if its let go and ignored then said males will continue to think its ok.

If you feel uncomfortable with something or are getting unwanted attention or hassle REPORT IT !!! Management need to know so they can deal with it appropriately.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

There are people and I mean PEOPLE throughout this scene who lack basic manners and believe that people are far game because its "swinging", their judgement also does not improve by adding alcohol to the situation.

However, as per the norm single guys make up the highest percentage and pay the most so you tend to notice them as the most problematic and if we are honest having been to a few no restriction single guy nights at clubs before its not something we will look to repeat.

Being followed round a club by 3-8 men in packs just waiting for you to play, going into a closed room and having the door opened and the guy coming up and touching mrs C without a word, being in _iewing areas watching couples play and guys hands "wandering" up her dress/skirt, waiting for me to go to the loo before pouncing all over her. However the percentage of idiots is probably quite even across the board the issue is there is and will for ever be that many MORE single guys is exasperates the issue to the point where all couples/females will have a few stories to tell im sure, which makes the perception even worse. There are many good respectful guys in this scene but as its human nature to focus on the bad thats what we do.

I have to say though the most disgusting behaviour I have ever seen was at a club in the South East on couples night, a female half of a couple had gotten very very very very pissed so her partner just "left her" on a sofa in a comatose state, queue a couple in their 40's who came over and started touching her up and trying to play with this d*unken girl while a room full of people nonchalantly watched on, until we mentioned to the partner it might be an idea to go look after his other half.

Its a shame but a universal truth that people dont stop being people just because they are swingers and there are a LOT of dickheads out there in the general population.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time we have had anything happen was in a room with a closed door. Us playing with another guy (who was a lovely well mannered polite chap) the door opened and some guys just walked in and sat down. It was against club rules, they didn't even say a word to us so we just upped and went to a locked room.

Perhaps its just us but we wouldn't open a closed door and just walk in and if we walked into a room with a couple in if they acknowledge or look at us we always ask if they mind us just watching. Just seems polite and it very often has led to an invitation to join them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only time we have had anything happen was in a room with a closed door. Us playing with another guy (who was a lovely well mannered polite chap) the door opened and some guys just walked in and sat down. It was against club rules, they didn't even say a word to us so we just upped and went to a locked room.

Perhaps its just us but we wouldn't open a closed door and just walk in and if we walked into a room with a couple in if they acknowledge or look at us we always ask if they mind us just watching. Just seems polite and it very often has led to an invitation to join them. "

All the clubs we have been to if the door does not lock then anyone can and often does come in. They have paid their money and are just as entitled to be in there. Very off putting at times but no rules are being broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from the fact that no single guys are allowed in the playrooms without an invite at that club. So rules were broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this would stop a good proportion of these incidents very simply:

When single visitors come to the club, part of the registration or entry process could be a list of do's and don'ts that the proprietor reads to them and asks them if they understand the etiquette of the club.

Then get them to sign at the bottom

I do think that if explained, even some of the oafish pigs of this world, would understand that it's not a free-for-all.

There could be a degree of ignorance, they may not understand the swinging scene and think to touch or do anything is fair game.

Set their expectations and behaviour parameters at point of entry rather than at point of ejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an alternative, go to a bi night, the guys are less desperate or mobbish and the one's who want to, have "alternative" opportunity, they don't need to flock around the females in the minority.

I've been to Ab Fabs bi nights and they are so relaxed with a good amount of females attending, probably because they don't feel so overwhelmed with ratios.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this would stop a good proportion of these incidents very simply:

When single visitors come to the club, part of the registration or entry process could be a list of do's and don'ts that the proprietor reads to them and asks them if they understand the etiquette of the club.

Then get them to sign at the bottom

I do think that if explained, even some of the oafish pigs of this world, would understand that it's not a free-for-all.

There could be a degree of ignorance, they may not understand the swinging scene and think to touch or do anything is fair game.

Set their expectations and behaviour parameters at point of entry rather than at point of ejection. "

That's a great idea.

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