FabSwingers.com forum: 50 shades! grumble

By *ancingtart OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

That book is the worst thing to happen in dom sub culture, vanilla women now think they get it. Not to mention all men thinking they are dominant (and good at it) Rant over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should make a miss grey

for the dom fem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has to start somewhere

Isn't it a good thing if it introduces some people to the scene who otherwise wouldn't have sought it out,

A vast majority will be short term and gone when its no longer fashionable but there will be some that continue and develop thanks to being introduced by the book,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone has to start somewhere

Isn't it a good thing if it introduces some people to the scene who otherwise wouldn't have sought it out,

A vast majority will be short term and gone when its no longer fashionable but there will be some that continue and develop thanks to being introduced by the book,"

It doesn't introduce anyone to the scene... It isn't representative of the life style.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone has to start somewhere

Isn't it a good thing if it introduces some people to the scene who otherwise wouldn't have sought it out,

A vast majority will be short term and gone when its no longer fashionable but there will be some that continue and develop thanks to being introduced by the book,"

Well said anything that attracts more people to the scene can't be bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't introduce anyone to the scene... It isn't representative of the life style. "

Disagree. It's a book not a manual

If someone reads it finds they are interested or was anyway but was scared to explore, Now thanks to the book making it a little more socially acceptable they do some research on the lifestyle and get involved then they have been introduced

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone has to start somewhere

Isn't it a good thing if it introduces some people to the scene who otherwise wouldn't have sought it out,

A vast majority will be short term and gone when its no longer fashionable but there will be some that continue and develop thanks to being introduced by the book,

Well said anything that attracts more people to the scene can't be bad."

It doesn't though. It's not representative of the scene. I've seen so many women taken on by dim Doms and be torn apart emotionally... And physically, because of that bloody book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't though. It's not representative of the scene. I've seen so many women taken on by dim Doms and be torn apart emotionally... And physically, because of that bloody book. "

Fair point didnt look at it that way.

Whip responsibly kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a shit book for so many reasons, and done more damage than good to the BDSM scene.

God knows what the films gonna be like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair iam not an advocate of it, there is much much better out there,

The misses read them said book 1 was ok but tame and the other 2 are just rubbish.

Always saw it like guitar hero as encourages some to try something like gaming which they wouldn't normally but appreciate you can't get hurt if you try gh wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That book is the worst thing to happen in dom sub culture, vanilla women now think they get it. Not to mention all men thinking they are dominant (and good at it) Rant over"

I read the first book and thought it was dreadful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not into BDSM. What I DO think the book has done is show some men that pleasuring women is about more than sticking it in. It's an art. And that confidence is an aphrodisiac-don't ask me what I like, know it! Mmmm hmmm

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"It doesn't though. It's not representative of the scene. I've seen so many women taken on by dim Doms and be torn apart emotionally... And physically, because of that bloody book. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said its a book a work of fiction....not a manual.... Nor is there a manual for a sub Dom relationship....not being Representative of "the lifestyle " ?.... Sounds a bit like "you're not doing it properly" .... The basis of each relationship depends on the people entering it.....not what you believe to be correct..... I do wish I'd wrote it though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That book is the worst thing to happen in dom sub culture, vanilla women now think they get it. Not to mention all men thinking they are dominant (and good at it) Rant over"

Omg,,, you must be reading my mind! I hate these books everyone thinks that it's a typical D/s relationship and they are so poorly written its shameful. I've been in 2 D/s relationships most of my adult life. These relationships have lasted longer than any vanilla relationship I've had,,,and been much more fulfilling

My partner & I love joking about the books to the extent he changed his name on his single profile to Mr Grey! I have found as a submissive female the sharp increase of so called Doms since the books came out.

I'm so lucky & blessed to have found a true Dom who looks after me & pushes my boundaries daily,,,yay!!!

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"It doesn't though. It's not representative of the scene. I've seen so many women taken on by dim Doms and be torn apart emotionally... And physically, because of that bloody book. "

That's not the books fault or the dim doms. It's those dim subs that allow it to happen surely! Never read the book myself and never will, but a book is a book, and does no harm and will only encourage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't though. It's not representative of the scene. I've seen so many women taken on by dim Doms and be torn apart emotionally... And physically, because of that bloody book.

It is doing harm though... Big harm.. and yes the subs should know better but it's a bit like blaming a battered wife for her bruises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never read the books when you see 3 old women on a hospital ward in beds next to each other all reading it and discussing it,it sort of makes you think nah

lol@dimdoms!

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"it is doing harm though... Big harm.. and yes the subs should know better but it's a bit like blaming a battered wife for her bruises. "

Not really, yes a battered wife may choose to stay with an abusive husband and is to blame for that, but in that case she is not to blame for the fear that she feels forcing her to stay there.

If I am a sub and go to find a dom, it is 100% my choice of who I pick and choose to progress things with.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

In addition giving the impression Doms are all billionaires with major psychological problems!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never read it but maybe I should so I may join in the argument :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"never read it but maybe I should so I may join in the argument :D"

Don't bother it's a badly written load of tosh. I'm a plumber and don't think I've been in a house in the last year where there hasn't been a copy of one kicking around. Just goes to show what viral advertising can achieve. There's so many more books out there which are better written and a better read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That book is the worst thing to happen in dom sub culture, vanilla women now think they get it. Not to mention all men thinking they are dominant (and good at it) Rant over"

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

"That book is the worst thing to happen in dom sub culture, vanilla women now think they get it. Not to mention all men thinking they are dominant (and good at it) Rant over"

Mr Greys a plenty on here, a five minute chat shows the have have no idea about BDSM. Most see it as an excuse to abuse women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone has to start somewhere

Isn't it a good thing if it introduces some people to the scene who otherwise wouldn't have sought it out,

A vast majority will be short term and gone when its no longer fashionable but there will be some that continue and develop thanks to being introduced by the book,

It doesn't introduce anyone to the scene... It isn't representative of the life style. "

this I agree with cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"never read it but maybe I should so I may join in the argument :D"

dont bother reading it save yourself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I refuse to read it. Despite people throwing it at me!

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By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

I read the book and yes it's badly written but I enjoyed it, probably because I thought no more about it than the fact it's just a book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't bother it's a badly written load of tosh. I'm a plumber and don't think I've been in a house in the last year where there hasn't been a copy of one kicking around. Just goes to show what viral advertising can achieve. There's so many more books out there which are better written and a better read. "

That's my major objection to it. I picked up a copy one of the girls at work was reading. I managed about 5 pages, the first one was to see what the fuss was about, the next 4 were in utter astonishment that such a badly written "book" could actually sell.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

surely that book is nothing to do with the scene at all.. mr grey is portrayed as emotionally damaged and anna tries to change him .. its a modern jane eyre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're right. Its nothing to do with the scene at all.

But some people (not all I hasten to add) who read it now think they are experts in the field when in fact a little knowledge in this case is a bad thing.

Absolutely no problem people wanting to try and understand the incredible experiences to be had, its just there are books out there that are so much more informative despite themselves being fictional novels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not into BDSM. What I DO think the book has done is show some men that pleasuring women is about more than sticking it in. It's an art. And that confidence is an aphrodisiac-don't ask me what I like, know it! Mmmm hmmm"

agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The book has it's flaws. But it introduces people to explore. And you will find a lot of "vanilla" couples are able to broaden their horizons through it.

It will lead to those who may not know what they ate doing, but who is to say this wouldn't happen without the book.

Too many people seen the scene as having to be lived 24hrs a day, and believe people can't dip in and out of it. There is nothing wrong with getting titillation from this style of play now and again.

From my own experiences, I have learnt what evie likes, and am able to expand on that. I wouldn't call myself a true Dom as I would only feel trulybcomfotable with evie. Yes I could spank someone and see how they cope, but I would need to learn about them to really apply myself.

Not enough people communicate properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" confidence is an aphrodisiac-don't ask me what I like, know it"

"and f**king stay awake because it will all be changed tomorrow"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The book has it's flaws. But it introduces people to explore. And you will find a lot of "vanilla" couples are able to broaden their horizons through it.

It will lead to those who may not know what they ate doing, but who is to say this wouldn't happen without the book.

Too many people seen the scene as having to be lived 24hrs a day, and believe people can't dip in and out of it. There is nothing wrong with getting titillation from this style of play now and again.

Not enough people communicate properly. "

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