FabSwingers.com forum: couples swinging seperately

By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago

derby

Hi, we have been swinging for a couple of months now. We started by going to a club although we didn't play we enjoyed the experience, we have done a separate room swap with another couple and we went to a second club although we still haven't played. Now we are considering swinging separately.

We (like all couples I hope) have had a few stumbling blocks when it comes to swinging as a couple: we may get talking to a couple who one of us like but the other doesn't. We are also both more comfortable doing different things, One of us prefers separate room while the other prefers same room. One is more of a exhibitionist than the other. Obviously we want to please each other but with us both being in different places swinging wise it made us think about trying things separately.

Another reason we our considering swinging separate is because one of us has a high sex drive and the other likes to try new things. Although ultimately I think we both want to do things mainly together the question is do you think swinging separately can be done successfully? I guess for us successfully would mean making us being even more happy together.

We'd just like to hear about peoples thoughts and experiences.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilk n SteelCouple
over a year ago

Croydon

We have been playing around with this for a while now.

We prefer same room as a couple because we both like to watch the other one at work.

However for playing seperately we organise this with couples or singles who do the same - so we will go off to seperate meets with "our own" playmate, usually on the same night.

Some couples are long term who play seperate, some are only fuck buddies who have their own seperate profiles, some started out that way, some started together then did seperate profiles after.

We decided not to have seperate profiles, or even advertise we play seperately on our couple profile, but to contact and vet couples who do seperate play. This seems to have worked out the best, lets us know who the other one is and what they are doing, and creates the option of getting the four of us together at a later date.

One golden rule - No Jealousy.

Find out what works best for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the while one prefers separate room and other prefers same room you will not resolve the issue .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as hsa been said, if you are both at different stages, you really need to talk more and find common ground.

just going off and doing your own things because it neither want to comprimise, is a recipe for divorce, imo.

have either of you thought you may not actually be ready to do this yet?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We often do separate rooms in clubs (and have to find one another at going home time!) but we wouldn't go separately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

what we think will happen is the female half of the couple could be out every night while the male sits at home struggling to find any to play with this will then lead to the male half getting rather fed up with the whole thing lots of arguments and so on to follow common ground would be the way to go stick together and work out what you both like xxxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always talk new things through before we try, get on a common ground and understand each other's fantasies before diving in there

always works for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep! Years ago, I was chatting to a beautiful woman. We both hit it off immediately and chatted for weeks planning out our meet, the problem was that she had agreed with her partner that they would be fine to swing separately, but would only meet on nights where they both had a meet arranged.

Needless to say, I never got to meet her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"what we think will happen is the female half of the couple could be out every night while the male sits at home struggling to find any to play with this will then lead to the male half getting rather fed up with the whole thing lots of arguments and so on to follow common ground would be the way to go stick together and work out what you both like xxxxxx"
This, what I was going to say to a T.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago

derby

we don't know if we are ready to do this in all honesty. What we agreed is that we wouldn't do anything unless we both felt comfortable. Having only had an experience with one couple its hard to know what our boundaries are.

I think what we have learned so far is that if one of us isn't enjoying it then neither of us can.

Maybe swinging separately is a stage to far for us at the present time. Of course jealousy and insecurities are a factor. Its not that we both don't want to do it, I think that its more the consequences that might come from one another sleeping with someone else.

It boils down to this: we both like to fuck! Its just finding a way to do it without it having any negative consequences. Separate room/ swinging separately has the out of sight out of mind factor.

Although in reality it might not be so simple. Same room does offer no unknowns. I think ideally we'd like all three haha.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see any issue really...my ever changing preferences and desires are not up for compromise, so if my partner doesn't share my passion for a particular kink, then I'll share with someone who does...I find men behave very differently towards me sexually when meeting alone, more passionate, more animalistic...mmmmmm..love it!

I always talk to my partners and try to vid or take pics whenever possible, it helps make each other part of the experience, so for me, swinging "only" together would definitely stifle us both, and that would end the relationship!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see any issue really...my ever changing preferences and desires are not up for compromise, so if my partner doesn't share my passion for a particular kink, then I'll share with someone who does...I find men behave very differently towards me sexually when meeting alone, more passionate, more animalistic...mmmmmm..love it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

One of us prefers separate room while the other prefers same room. One is more of a exhibitionist than the other. Obviously we want to please each other but with us both being in different places swinging wise it made us think about trying things separately.

until you are both in the same place swinging wise don't even think about it. If one of you prefers same room how will you ever be comfortable with separate rooms.

My thoughts are that you need to think about this a lot more.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife & myself were in a very similar position. We talked a lot, she wanted seperate rooms, I didn't. So we didn't.

We visited clubs & happily played on our own, usually in private. Also had two socials with couples.

She then decided that it wasn't for her. After a year or so, I bought it up again. That's when she suggested I play on my own, that was approx 3 years ago.

I play when I can, which includes when I can get a meet, not easy lol, but great fun when people realise that a married man can play with permission without having any worries of a crazed wife knocking on a door lol.

We have (although no longer used) a couples profile. She suggested I create my own, so here I am.

Were still very much in love & it works for us. I hope that one day she will join me in this sexy lifestyle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

IF you are both happy for each other to swing separately.....

Go for it.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Every couple is different. As long as you are both happy with whatever decision you make

I play separately but OH doesn't. I also enjoy the social side whereas its all about the sex for him. This works for us and our relationship is better for it.

And as other have said if there are any insecurities or jealousy that needs to be resolved before anything happens. xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ral.steveMan
over a year ago

LEEDS

While the lady will get plenty of offers the gentleman won't that the trouble with swinging separately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we don't know if we are ready to do this in all honesty. What we agreed is that we wouldn't do anything unless we both felt comfortable. Having only had an experience with one couple its hard to know what our boundaries are.

I think what we have learned so far is that if one of us isn't enjoying it then neither of us can.

It boils down to this: we both like to fuck! Its just finding a way to do it without it having any negative consequences. Separate room/ swinging separately has the out of sight out of mind factor.

Although in reality it might not be so simple. Same room does offer no unknowns. I think ideally we'd like all three haha. "

warning lights and alarms are going off here with me.

you dont know your boundaries and you have already entered into situations?

the FIRST thing that should be sorted out ids boundaries.

you both need to know the point where NO is used, because once you know your partner has gone too far, its very difficult to get that image from your mind.

would you be happy seing your partner with his cock stuffed up another woman (or indeed you with a cock stuffed up you) if the other of you just isnt ready for that???

think you need to do a LOT more talking between yourselves before doing anything else

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago

derby

maybe you are right.

How did you both know you were ready to swing?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe you are right.

How did you both know you were ready to swing?"

us?

we didnt.

we were lying in bad one evening, and were just talking.

V expressed an interest in being with another woman, and we took it from there.

however, before we even considered talking to anyone we investigated the different forms of playing, and discussed how far we wanted to go.

we agreed that neither of us had any interest in having full sex with anyone else

her interest with being with other women was more interesting to her than being with other men.

since then, we have found that she isnt THAT interested in women, or rather we havent met a woman that has made her go weak at the knees, however, we both like her sucking cock, so we are going further down this route.

meeting couples, and the odd single blokes for oral fun involving play, up to the point of having full sex with other people.

it works for us and we are happy with it.

she has expressed a wish to see me have full sex with another woman, but im not interested in that, so we are happy to leave it as a fantasy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread