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On a second meet have you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Looked at the person and mentally reacted differently to them? What I am trying to question is whether your initial reaction to meeting them the second time is different to the first?

Did you go wow at the first meet and yet experience a mediocre reaction at the second, was it the same, was it vice versa, was it pure disappointment?

I have experienced all these and understand why on a psychological/social level. I certainly see it has its place in the dating world and also for the formation of fwb/fb relationships. However, is it experienced as much in a NSA situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely half of the thrill is the fact you never met before in a sexual way?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely half of the thrill is the fact you never met before in a sexual way?!"

I'm asking about initial reactions (ie before sex has got under-way in either of the meetings).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a guy for the second time on Wednesday, was still as nervous as the first time but for some reason I felt more shy.

Still thought 'Wow' and felt comfortable but felt a bit shy, think his experience intimidates me a little but he does make me feel so comfortable so think it is just me being a pussy x

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford

I think it all depends on how strong the connection was the first time you met. I think it also depends on what constitutes being attracted to someone

If you meet someone for the first time and you have a strong mental and physical connection, it is very likely that the connection will remain strong even if the second meeting isn't fantastic. when you have first contact, you make connections in your brain and if all the areas of attraction are strong, so the connection will be.

maybe, when you had those first meets and it wasn't there the second time, either the physical or the mental connection was missing ?

i'm not sure how NSA would affect anything. attraction is what it is

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford


"Met a guy for the second time on Wednesday, was still as nervous as the first time but for some reason I felt more shy.

Still thought 'Wow' and felt comfortable but felt a bit shy, think his experience intimidates me a little but he does make me feel so comfortable so think it is just me being a pussy x"

once you've met someone, do you sit at home and analyse what was said and how you both reacted ?

it may sound a bit odd but, depending on what you keep thinking, it will have a huge impact on how you behave the next time you meet

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By *affy72Woman
over a year ago

Herefordshire

I had a social meet with a man, felt a good connection as he was easy to get on with personality-wise and fancied him even more after we'd kissed.

Second meet and he seemed to approach it like a done deal... it was a done deal though, so I can't say too much. With hindsight, I would have rather just have had the one meet, the social one, and left it there lol.

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By *unwithus2.Couple
over a year ago

south kent

when i first met the guy we have been seeing now for some time, was like love at first site, every time i meet my fb he makes me tingle inside,

one reason is, his good looking just like my husband

and secondly its knowing he's got a big cock under his trousers

and know what it will feel like inside me,

i have met guys before when the second time we have met i realize i made a mistake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the best judge of what I like. If someone has what it takes to wow me today then they'll probably wow me tomorrow.

If after the first meet I choose to meet someone again it's because I've decided there's an attraction from my side. Unless they did or said something that I really disliked, it would be very unlikely that my initial attraction would change.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it all depends on how strong the connection was the first time you met. I think it also depends on what constitutes being attracted to someone

If you meet someone for the first time and you have a strong mental and physical connection, it is very likely that the connection will remain strong even if the second meeting isn't fantastic. when you have first contact, you make connections in your brain and if all the areas of attraction are strong, so the connection will be.

maybe, when you had those first meets and it wasn't there the second time, either the physical or the mental connection was missing ?

i'm not sure how NSA would affect anything. attraction is what it is"

I am very much interested in the biopsychosocial approach and as such have a fair understanding of the factors involved. When we meet someone for the first time we have an overload of information. This information is coming at us through our senses (eg: sight: is the person pretty? Hearing: does the accent grate on our nerves/is the pitch acceptable? Smell: are pheromones at play or is the shop bought product heavenly?); info coming at us through our social constructs (is the stereotype that this person may fit into positive or negative?); info coming at us through preconceived ideas (resulting from media communication, ie phone/email).

So all this and other info is going into our brains at an extortionate rate, some info which is personally more important to us will be prioritised and deciphered by the brain first. Some info may even be ignored, ie the brain filters the info we receive.

On a second meet the brain is not as overloaded with info and so therefore prioritises differently. New info may be loaded and it may be this new info which causes the initial reaction to be different?

Going back to our brain filtering the info I imagine our desires play a heavy part in the way the brain filters info. Therefore I can imagine that NSA desires very much affects attraction.

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford

i have to say, i read messages in the forum and i never have the inclination to reply but this thread is fascinating. loving it

i didn't really give much thought to attraction until a few years ago. i started buying a few books and took a big interest in NLP. for me personally it explains quite a few things and have helped me enormously.

some great points have been made...

a lot of what people are talking about are connections and yes, our brain and mind is working so quickly to decipher all of the signals. we then make connections very quickly and formulate an opinion.. thats why, when you see someone, you know very quickly whether you want or desire them

personally, i'm a great believer in energy.. which i believe we sense. i'm sure we've all had those moments of attraction that feel so incredibly powerful and we feel so connected and comfortable with a person

IMO we use our senses to filter the information and then the caveman kicks in. people don't like to admit it, but a lot of attraction is based on how we would think if we still lived in a cave

i can see that NSA is perhaps more exciting and that we would see the other person as being more exciting..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i have to say, i read messages in the forum and i never have the inclination to reply but this thread is fascinating. loving it

i didn't really give much thought to attraction until a few years ago. i started buying a few books and took a big interest in NLP. for me personally it explains quite a few things and have helped me enormously.

some great points have been made...

a lot of what people are talking about are connections and yes, our brain and mind is working so quickly to decipher all of the signals. we then make connections very quickly and formulate an opinion.. thats why, when you see someone, you know very quickly whether you want or desire them

personally, i'm a great believer in energy.. which i believe we sense. i'm sure we've all had those moments of attraction that feel so incredibly powerful and we feel so connected and comfortable with a person

IMO we use our senses to filter the information and then the caveman kicks in. people don't like to admit it, but a lot of attraction is based on how we would think if we still lived in a cave

i can see that NSA is perhaps more exciting and that we would see the other person as being more exciting.. "

I too am a great believer in energy, or to point a finer point on it, vibrations. Everything we view and sense has a vibration/energy. Science has taught us that a solid is purely solid through perception since if you break it down into atoms, and further still neutrons, electrons and protons, there is movement (where there is movement there is energy).

Moving away from science (or am I?) and venturing towards spirituality, I believe our own vibrations may or may not be compatible we others. Perhaps this is our sixth sense at work

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh and the caveman kicks in because we cannot get away from that which is innate. Innate as a species or innate as genetics?

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford

what you've said is exaclty what i read recently.. a book called the energy of belief.. its fascinating really..

on one hand you have two people stood together talking and so much is going on that we can't see

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford

definitely as a species i think

a lot of people will disagree with this. but it can be argued that men can behave in a certain way to increase attraction

one of the earliest things i learnt was how to hold myself, posture wise. apparently, men who stand upright with shoulders back and chest out appeal to women on a subconscious primitive level

one of the earliest things i learnt was social exceptance. a man has to stand out from the heard and appear to be respected and liked by those around him. if i meet someone in a pub, i will make a point of talking to bar staff and people around me.. you may laugh but it does have an affect.. IMO !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

one of the earliest things i learnt was social exceptance. a man has to stand out from the heard and appear to be respected and liked by those around him. if i meet someone in a pub, i will make a point of talking to bar staff and people around me.. you may laugh but it does have an affect.. IMO !"

Alpha male: the man women want, the man men want to be. The man who is confidant to get what he wants but doesn't stand on anyone's toes in the process. A deserved leader of the pack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

If i listened to my gut feeling i wouldnt have played with someone for far so long as he wasnt really for me

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford


"

one of the earliest things i learnt was social exceptance. a man has to stand out from the heard and appear to be respected and liked by those around him. if i meet someone in a pub, i will make a point of talking to bar staff and people around me.. you may laugh but it does have an affect.. IMO !

Alpha male: the man women want, the man men want to be. The man who is confidant to get what he wants but doesn't stand on anyone's toes in the process. A deserved leader of the pack."

a lot of women play down the importance of an alpha male but.. i do believe that women act differently around men that have alpha attributes

i think men get the wrong idea of what an alpha male is

there are some great books on this subject and ironically, a lot of the attributes are easy to learn

some.. not so..

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By *illonuk2000Man
over a year ago

Stafford


"Yes

If i listened to my gut feeling i wouldnt have played with someone for far so long as he wasnt really for me

"

at least you realised... i'm a massive believer in gut feeling.. your mind has picked up on something but it hasn't quite filtered through. always go with that feeling

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