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How to let it slide

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By *porty.ben OP   Man
over a year ago

West Hampstead

So got a bit of a dedicate matter here, and this might be the wrong place to do it, but here goes...

How do you do your business in your girlfriends house. I find it very embarrassing saying I'm going to the loo and come back 10 mins later knowing that she knows....

Any thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why not just tell her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So got a bit of a dedicate matter here, and this might be the wrong place to do it, but here goes...

How do you do your business in your girlfriends house. I find it very embarrassing saying I'm going to the loo and come back 10 mins later knowing that she knows....

Any thoughts?"

Interesting, I have had the same dilemma, is it just a number 2 that your referring to??

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By *ustyBrunette35Couple
over a year ago

birmingham


"why not just tell her."

"sorry I was so long dear, I've just had a huge dump in there and I'd give it 20 minutes before you go in"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why not just tell her.

"sorry I was so long dear, I've just had a huge dump in there and I'd give it 20 minutes before you go in"

"

That seems fair enough.

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

every body does it weres the embarrassment although do have to admit much prefer my own loo to take a 2 in strange ppl arnt we xxx

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I'm pretty sure she must know you crap the same as every other person!!

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)

What a shit talking thread

Could be worse, you could do a "spud" all over the sheets if you don't go. Haha

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)

That's "spud" from trainspotting by the way.

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

This thread put a on my face.

Dated a woman a few years back who hated people breaking wind. She lived in a small house and the bedroom was next to the bathroom and you could clearly hear what went on in there.

Now I like to really let go when I have my morning clear out so was not a comfortable situation for either of us

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By *porty.ben OP   Man
over a year ago

West Hampstead


"This thread put a on my face.

Dated a woman a few years back who hated people breaking wind. She lived in a small house and the bedroom was next to the bathroom and you could clearly hear what went on in there.

Now I like to really let go when I have my morning clear out so was not a comfortable situation for either of us "

Hahahaha, this made me chuckle!! Luckily my ex's loo was a bit further away from her bedroom, could relax and enjoy my morning contemplation time.

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By *porty.ben OP   Man
over a year ago

West Hampstead

[Removed by poster at 12/09/13 13:17:05]

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By *porty.ben OP   Man
over a year ago

West Hampstead


"I'm pretty sure she must know you crap the same as every other person!! "

Yeah but girls don't crap!

By the way, you have the most fantastic sets of breasts ever! Remind me of my ex's...

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

Your all talking shit lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy when you come out of the loo, sit down next to her and say 'leave it 10 minutes before going in there'.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Take the crossword puzzle with you, I' think she'll get the hint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm pretty sure she must know you crap the same as every other person!!

Yeah but girls don't crap!"

True, it's all butterflies and perfumed raindrops when ladies do their business!

But bless, this did make me chuckle...presumably you weren't expecting her to go down on you immediately after?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread put a on my face.

Dated a woman a few years back who hated people breaking wind. She lived in a small house and the bedroom was next to the bathroom and you could clearly hear what went on in there.

Now I like to really let go when I have my morning clear out so was not a comfortable situation for either of us

Hahahaha, this made me chuckle!! Luckily my ex's loo was a bit further away from her bedroom, could relax and enjoy my morning contemplation time."

Here is a trick, when your about to 'drop a bomb' flush the toilet, the noise of the flush will drown out any embarrassing splashing noises. However if your dropping a multiple load then further flushes will be required, which might arouse suspicion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for the safety margin when to enter a recently used loo (I'm trying, honest) - I keep a small bowl with a box of matches on the window sill; strike one match over the bowl, and the burning sulphur will remove any trace of smell. Honest. Much better than any sprays.

Many moons ago I had a poster on the inside of the bathroom door, stating 'Loo Manners'. One of them was, "Sing loud to obliterate any inappropriate noises. Song sheets available from the host". (Another gem was, "Avoid target shooting in the dark", but that's another chapter.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread put a on my face.

Dated a woman a few years back who hated people breaking wind. She lived in a small house and the bedroom was next to the bathroom and you could clearly hear what went on in there.

Now I like to really let go when I have my morning clear out so was not a comfortable situation for either of us

Hahahaha, this made me chuckle!! Luckily my ex's loo was a bit further away from her bedroom, could relax and enjoy my morning contemplation time.

Here is a trick, when your about to 'drop a bomb' flush the toilet, the noise of the flush will drown out any embarrassing splashing noises. However if your dropping a multiple load then further flushes will be required, which might arouse suspicion.

"

easier to line the water with loo roll first to catch your 'bomb'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im lucky, most of my meets are at the stables, so just crap in the straw, no problem....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As for the safety margin when to enter a recently used loo (I'm trying, honest) - I keep a small bowl with a box of matches on the window sill; strike one match over the bowl, and the burning sulphur will remove any trace of smell. Honest. Much better than any sprays.

Many moons ago I had a poster on the inside of the bathroom door, stating 'Loo Manners'. One of them was, "Sing loud to obliterate any inappropriate noises. Song sheets available from the host". (Another gem was, "Avoid target shooting in the dark", but that's another chapter.)"

The match bowl sounds a good idea, my only concern is that done people I know produce some seriously pungent smells when on the bog, striking a match in that environment would be very risky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread put a on my face.

Dated a woman a few years back who hated people breaking wind. She lived in a small house and the bedroom was next to the bathroom and you could clearly hear what went on in there.

Now I like to really let go when I have my morning clear out so was not a comfortable situation for either of us

Very good thinking, far better idea

Hahahaha, this made me chuckle!! Luckily my ex's loo was a bit further away from her bedroom, could relax and enjoy my morning contemplation time.

Here is a trick, when your about to 'drop a bomb' flush the toilet, the noise of the flush will drown out any embarrassing splashing noises. However if your dropping a multiple load then further flushes will be required, which might arouse suspicion.

easier to line the water with loo roll first to catch your 'bomb' "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smells are just that. It doesn't mean they're combustible gases.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"im lucky, most of my meets are at the stables, so just crap in the straw, no problem.... "

Just to clarify, has this happened??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smells are just that. It doesn't mean they're combustible gases."

Fair enough, I might give it a try in the next hour,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And?

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By *wingerdelightCouple
over a year ago

eastliegh

Come running out and say come and have spook at this monster before I flush

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By *wingerdelightCouple
over a year ago

eastliegh

Look even

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Next time you "drop the kids off at the pool" be up front and she'll probably be so relieved and let out a huge fart. Break the ice my friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So got a bit of a dedicate matter here, and this might be the wrong place to do it, but here goes...

How do you do your business in your girlfriends house. I find it very embarrassing saying I'm going to the loo and come back 10 mins later knowing that she knows....

Any thoughts?"

Man up everyone has to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't there a window you could open?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread put a on my face.

Dated a woman a few years back who hated people breaking wind. She lived in a small house and the bedroom was next to the bathroom and you could clearly hear what went on in there.

Now I like to really let go when I have my morning clear out so was not a comfortable situation for either of us

Hahahaha, this made me chuckle!! Luckily my ex's loo was a bit further away from her bedroom, could relax and enjoy my morning contemplation time.

Here is a trick, when your about to 'drop a bomb' flush the toilet, the noise of the flush will drown out any embarrassing splashing noises. However if your dropping a multiple load then further flushes will be required, which might arouse suspicion.

easier to line the water with loo roll first to catch your 'bomb' "

Excellent - that's just so funny!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once used what I thought was a loo brush - it proved to have been my friend's shower brush.

I owned up and bought her a new one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As for the safety margin when to enter a recently used loo (I'm trying, honest) - I keep a small bowl with a box of matches on the window sill; strike one match over the bowl, and the burning sulphur will remove any trace of smell. Honest. Much better than any sprays.

Many moons ago I had a poster on the inside of the bathroom door, stating 'Loo Manners'. One of them was, "Sing loud to obliterate any inappropriate noises. Song sheets available from the host". (Another gem was, "Avoid target shooting in the dark", but that's another chapter.)

The match bowl sounds a good idea, my only concern is that done people I know produce some seriously pungent smells when on the bog, striking a match in that environment would be very risky "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her, wait ten minutes or hold your breath

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

My ex was alwasy considerate and used to go in the downstairs loo and leave the window open!

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"I once used what I thought was a loo brush - it proved to have been my friend's shower brush.

I owned up and bought her a new one. "

So funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And? "

It was a false alarm, but it's still on my todo list when the opportunity next arises

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Everyone has to poo.....I don't like to poo in other peoples houses.....not good when you got ibs....

Just tell her you going to 'give birth to meatloafs daughter'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone has to poo.....I don't like to poo in other peoples houses.....not good when you got ibs....

Just tell her you going to 'give birth to meatloafs daughter'"

Like a Bat out of Hell , I will get my coat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smells are just that. It doesn't mean they're combustible gases."

haha ever lit a fart as it emerges???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thanks for the laugh.

i dont see the problem to be honest considering what you have just both done to each other.

besides we all know that as soon as the guy is out the room and earshot, she squeaks one out.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

open the window

squat down and push

wipe

flush

check pan is clean and use any brush

spray room freshener

open door

exit bathroom

close door

there ya go

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"I once used what I thought was a loo brush - it proved to have been my friend's shower brush.

I owned up and bought her a new one. "

Just hope she did'nt shower with it before you owned up, lol.

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By *stmateMan
over a year ago

Notts

Toilet bowls become sub woofers when u need to fart before after or during curling a steamy one out. She knows full well what's occurring and if she's your gf don't worry about it. First date and you might not see her again. Do the polite thing. Make sure you leave it as you found it. Assuming its a clean bog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends how well developed your relationship is

Have you had your first fart in bed?

If so you can move on to your first dump

If you haven't reached the first fart then it's tricky. I'd suggests opening the toilet window and also spraying the toilet heavily with a can of deodorant

She'll never guess what's going on

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