FabSwingers.com forum: 7 years since I lost my daughter

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its been 7 years since I lost my fiance and daughter in a car crash I still get tearful on anniversarys birthdays etc but what I dont understand is why women on here send hurtful messege I put it on my profile not for attention or sypathy I guess im just honest so has anyone ever got hurtful messeges on here or is it just me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people only come on here to be arses

I lost my son when he was 20 month old, we all deal with these thing's different, I think some people will find it odd you post something as personal as that on here but you have to do what helps you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if people send nasty messages, it says more about them... report them

all the best and sorry to read about your loss.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heekyFiferMan
over a year ago

Lochgelly

"Its been 7 years since I lost my fiance and daughter in a car crash I still get tearful on anniversarys birthdays etc but what I dont understand is why women on here send hurtful messege I put it on my profile not for attention or sypathy I guess im just honest so has anyone ever got hurtful messeges on here or is it just me "

That would defo be an unimaginable loss you have suffered.....however I personaly would not mention any of that information on on a public profile....of any sort of website.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Some people on here are plain nasty, just as you will find everywhere. I had a message saying they hoped my kids died of cancer in response to a polite no thanks. You just have to realise it is their problem, and they have to live with themselves and their horrible personalities.

Sending you hugs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i put whatever i feel like at the time on my profile, if it makes you feel better it doesnt matter what other people think, only you know the real you, people will think what they want to think.

some people are just ignorant and its best to ignore them.

when i have had nasty messages which isnt often, i think maybe they are having a bad day and not having much luck, maybe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss!

It says on your profile 5 years ago, not 7 x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Just block and detail Hun it's their loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ignore people, they obviously don't have the emotional maturity to understand that people cope with loss in whichever way helps them the most.

Hugs for your loss, it was 9 years ago in June that I lost my daughter and I understand how hard it is to 'move on'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for your loss!

It says on your profile 5 years ago, not 7 x"

I noticed that too but didn't want to point it out incase everyone attacked me lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are just vile mate. Maybe some stuff is best left to be shared with your nearest and dearest though. I wouldn't dream of sharing my most private experiences on here. Just a thought.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry everyone yes 7 years not 5 must change that thank you everyone for your comments

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i put that my guinee pig had died as i was upset, it may seem daft to some people but i dont care what people think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anyone really needs to know that amount of personal detail,you've already had nasty messages and it makes you look very vulnerable too,you don't want to appear vulnerable on a website full of anonymous people that can behave like total idiots

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

As a PP said I wouldn't put that on my profile on a site looking for nsa. If I ended up with a fwb then sure it would prob come up at some point. Unfortunately people can be cruel and nasty for no reason at all and some might see it as you trying to get the sympathy vote.

I'm sorry for your loss. Can't imaging what you must be feeling xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some sad people on here. Hard to ignore sometimes too for some, but that's the best thing to do. So sorry for your loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Oh man... That is terrible. I feel so sorry for you.

For gods sake, the guy is still grieving. Let him say what he likes.

As for the horrible messages, just ignore them. I can imagine that some comments would be so destructive.

I agree that its not going to gain NSA writing that but maybe he isn't arsed about that at the minute... Maybe he just feels as thoigh he needs to tell someone.

I feel sorry for you and you must be very strong. Personally, I'm not sure if I'd cope.

Keep strong and sorry to hear of your loss.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/13 16:50:20]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why shouldn't you put it on your profile? I think that it makes you look a bit more human than some on here...

We might all be looking for no-strings fun, but some also like to share the whole personality as well for a while - I know that I do.

Many of us have endured dreadful loss in our lives and sometimes it's helpful to share intimate times with others that are sensitive to the inner ache.

Besides, it acts as an extra filter - would you want to meet the sort of people who react badly? I wouldn't!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

hi mate, I hope you take the following remarks in the spirit in which they're intended - not meaning to have a go at you at all!

You say you mention this situation on your profile 'not for attention or sympathy' but really you have to ask yourself why is it there then? Does it need to be?

I am a widower, lost my wife nearly ten years ago now - I don't think any of this needs to be on my public profile, if I get to know someone well enough I'm sure some of it will come out in good time. I do mention that I'm a single dad of teens (because it affects my ability to accommodate) but I don't think people need to know the reasons for that at the 'checking out the profile' stage.

I think subconsciously you may have included this information because you hope it will help you get empathy if not sympathy from women on here - but I fear it may backfire and people will (rightly or wrongly) think you're 'playing the sympathy card'.

In addition, you have to remember that the vast majority of people are on here looking for 'NSA' fun - they don't want to hear about your baggage, they have enough of their own. Not to diminish your loss, but it could be read as just 'a bit of a downer' to someone looking for casual sex!

I wish you all the best on here and hope you do meet some good people - there are plenty here - but I'd advise you to lose that stuff from your profile. Just my opinion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Its your status and your profile. Use them how you wish to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone really needs to know that amount of personal detail,you've already had nasty messages and it makes you look very vulnerable too,you don't want to appear vulnerable on a website full of anonymous people that can behave like total idiots "

The post above is great advice

Unfortunately some odious idiots will get perverse pleasure from being hurtful - it may be best not to disclose such personal information

It feels like you are still grieving - would counselling help? If I've got the wrong end of the stick I apologise

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can feel your pain SR ..my oldest son of 17 past away also only 3yrs ago .... alot people would say he was my twin.

I miss him alot .....its hard to talk about my son without breaking down ...to those. That bad mouth you pray for them ....Carla is a mother they say (what goes around comes around) my heart goes out to you dad.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

This is a swinging/sex site and just as I wouldn't expect to see someone bragging about their sex lives on a bereavement support site I wouldn't expect someone to make a point of telling all and sundry about the death of their child several years ago via their profile on this site.

I am a father of five who is fortunate enough to have all his children alive and well but I know if I ever had to endure the tragic loss of one of them my profile on a sex site would not be a place I'd choose to share my continued grief. Or indeed create a thread to further bring attention to my loss.

To preempt those that are bound to say it's the OP's choice as to how and where he expresses his grief can any of you honestly say you think this is the site to do so?

I'm going to stop now as anything further I say may bring about more than a temporary enforced sabbatical from the powers that be......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i put that my guinee pig had died as i was upset, it may seem daft to some people but i dont care what people think."

Your guinea pig!!! Hardly a comparison.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i put that my guinee pig had died as i was upset, it may seem daft to some people but i dont care what people think.

Your guinea pig!!! Hardly a comparison. "

No i know, my point is its nothing to do with swinging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

"This is a swinging/sex site and just as I wouldn't expect to see someone bragging about their sex lives on a bereavement support site I wouldn't expect someone to make a point of telling all and sundry about the death of their child several years ago via their profile on this site.

To preempt those that are bound to say it's the OP's choice as to how and where he expresses his grief can any of you honestly say you think this is the site to do so?

I'm going to stop now as anything further I say may bring about more than a temporary enforced sabbatical from the powers that be......"

Is it really appropriate to post this on a swingers forum? Doesn't feel right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell ya what mate, don't know what your going through,but it must be awfully upsetting and painfull.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i put that my guinee pig had died as i was upset, it may seem daft to some people but i dont care what people think.

Your guinea pig!!! Hardly a comparison.

No i know, my point is its nothing to do with swinging.

Bit cold and heartless me thinks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i put that my guinee pig had died as i was upset, it may seem daft to some people but i dont care what people think.

Your guinea pig!!! Hardly a comparison.

No i know, my point is its nothing to do with swinging.

Bit cold and heartless me thinks."

Well your entitled to your opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its your status and your profile. Use them how you wish to."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok this might not go down well....but I personally ( only speaking for me myself and I as a member )don't think there is any need for it to be on there anyway, especially as it is your introduction to your profile to where you then go on to advertise yourself for meets.

I know you say it isn't for sympathy, but thats how it looks to me.

Now to mod mode....report any abusive mails as it doesn't matter what the reason is, they are not tolerated.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weigh up whether placing that on your profile is more therapeutic to you than the aggravation you get. I personally wouldn't show it, but it is your profile and your choice.

You have to understand that there are many people in the world who need to empower themselves because their own lives suck in some way, or they lack control. They empower themselves by putting others down. Bullying occurs on the internet just as much as in the real world. If you let their worthless words affect you, you are giving them the control they seek. My suggestion is to say in response "thank you for your opinion and have a nice day". Then report, block and delete.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecor atorMan
over a year ago

York

V sad!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread