FabSwingers.com forum: What Exactly is Swinging?

By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

After a 'debate' lol on another thread, i got to thinking, what exactly is swinging? Does it have to involve sharing a partner? or can it include activities like gangbangs, dogging and bukkake? where the women who attend aren't necessarily there with a partner? Would love to hear your thoughts.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Another thought about "sharing a partner", what about FB couples? can that be classed as true "sharing"?

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 02/09/13 04:54:09]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Its what you want it to be. Getting hung up on labels and worrying if you're doing it right will only detract from any pleasure you get. This isn't a secret society where members need to undergo a strict test before they can join (I would never be allowed) ....but then again judging by some things I've seen an heard lately maybe I'm wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think swinging covers a whole plethora of areas.

Permissive sex involving two or more different partners is swinging I guess...

Although if someone is dating and sleeping around is that different?

Who cares? Get stuck in and shed the labels and your pants!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps, as the name suggests, it involves people who "swing" from one partner to another whilst in a relationship. Its modern origins may have been in "wife swapping" but such activities are as old as Man.

To the vanilla man and woman in the street it is another term for an open relationship. In the end it is a lable applied to people who enjoy sex for its own sake so relax and enjoy.

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

Each person has their own definition, and this then leads into the multiple clashes on the forums.

It could be

NSA sex

NSA but I needed to fancy you and kiss and cuddle

Match.com but I tell you my fantasys before we meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it is changing all the time.

when it was called 'wife swapping' it was exactly that, couples exchanging the people they love, however now with so many people wanting to meet singles, this is no longer accurate.

online dictionary says:

Sexually promiscuous.

Practicing exchange of partners, especially spouses, for sex.

the first cant be accurate because that would suggest going out of a saturday night and pulling anything with a pulse is counted as swinging.

the latter similarly as, if you havent a partner to swap, are you a swinger?

as has been said, its what you make it.

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By *hristine and MarieCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Somewhere north of Spalding

I have never really thought about a definition but sites such as this seem to have turned swinging into something I would have never described as such. Everyone seems to talk an awful lot and say they enjoy the "social" side but the actual physical sexual aspect seems to have all but disappeared. Of course no one wants to admit this and will insist everyone is shagging away with all and sundry on a daily basis... but in my experience, it simply isn't true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it is changing all the time.

when it was called 'wife swapping' it was exactly that, couples exchanging the people they love, however now with so many people wanting to meet singles, this is no longer accurate.

online dictionary says:

Sexually promiscuous.

Practicing exchange of partners, especially spouses, for sex.

the first cant be accurate because that would suggest going out of a saturday night and pulling anything with a pulse is counted as swinging.

the latter similarly as, if you havent a partner to swap, are you a swinger?

as has been said, its what you make it."

There are some on Fab who are genuinely sexually promiscuous, whilst there are others that are more choosy than those in the general public who would hate to be termed a swinger. I surmise that perhaps the only thing that binds us is a love of sexual pleasure. And that cannot be bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said, swinging is what you make of it and each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck so this isnt a site for ppl who like a dance.

no wonder getting no msg back after asking do u want 2 swing ur hips

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

A gentle rocking/swaying motion! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A duck (yes a duck ) looks like a duck because it is a duck

.. Swinging is different - it's whatever you want it to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like mentioned already there's a wide variation of answers depending who you ask.

I've always been in the train of thought that a 'true swinger' is someone that is part of a couple or would 'swing' as part of a couple.

My logic is this. You get single people in everyday life that go out and have sex promiscuously. They aren't swingers they just like sex.

Just because you do it via a swinging site doesn't, in my eyes, make you a swinger.

Many, including a lot on this site, wouldn't continue to have sex promiscuously or even dream of sharing their partner once in a relationship.

There's obviously grey areas. There are some singles that would prefer a relationship where there partner is open to swinging etc.

Bottom line who cares? Those that are really hung up about who's a true swinger or not must think swinging is an exclusive club or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging is like a box of chocolates

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"As others have said, swinging is what you make of it and each to their own."

I totally agree, but I was told a few of nights ago by some irate couples that swinging had to involve the swapping of a partner and that any single who meets other singles has no place on a swingers site

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"As others have said, swinging is what you make of it and each to their own.

I totally agree, but I was told a few of nights ago by some irate couples that swinging had to involve the swapping of a partner and that any single who meets other singles has no place on a

swingers site

That's their opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As others have said, swinging is what you make of it and each to their own.

Well we don't both swap, we do what we want to and everyone else can do their own thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Bottom line who cares? Those that are really hung up about who's a true swinger or not must think swinging is an exclusive club or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging..... The lifestyle, the scene has changed significantly over the last 30 year's and encompasses many varied aspects...

I look up on swinging as a bespoke wheel with the origins of swinging as the centre point with interests such as cuckold, gangbangs, internet, exhibitionist, voyeurism, etc as off shoots....

Whatever your opinion is enjoy your pursuits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We believe its all so much better if the swapping involves couples that are look term married or together x its so much more a personal thing when your sharing under those circumstances x

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

There seems to be a clear consensus on this thread regarding what swinging is, but i know there are those who hold an opposing and passionate view on this. Maybe some of those couples would also like to add their two penneth to this debate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We believe its all so much better if the swapping involves couples that are look term married or together x its so much more a personal thing when your sharing under those circumstances x "

This

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

as u go back pull your legs in, and when you go forward push them out.

its all about timing thats swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is swinging isnt "exactly" anything, it is whatever people make of it, what one person calls swinging others may not.

Some people get stuck on labels and think there has to be a single definition of each nook and cranny, but in truth most things in this lifestyle are very open to wide variation and change, what one person calls something there will be many that dont call it the same, but it doesnt mean its wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is swinging isnt "exactly" anything, it is whatever people make of it, what one person calls swinging others may not.

my sentiments exactly and you need all sorts to swing and explore different fantasies and scenarios .the reason why lots go into rather than just straight forward swapping.i do have a hankering for a keys in the bowl party .lol.just to see what it was like then .anyone care to remember ?poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it involves less than 3 people then for us, and I do stress for us it's not swinging.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"as u go back pull your legs in, and when you go forward push them out.

its all about timing thats swinging

Haha!!

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"The thing is swinging isnt "exactly" anything, it is whatever people make of it, what one person calls swinging others may not.

I have to say i agree with you mackemcouple, for a change

lol, but i know from other threads there are a few vociferous couples who would take my and your head off for speaking such sacrilege on a swingers site

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well before becoming a "swinger" i just thought it was pretty much just partner swapping but clearly it includes so much more. Im not really hung up on labels but my definition it as any type of sexual activity involving more than 2 people. 2 people (or less lol) is just regular/casual sex to me.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Well before becoming a "swinger" i just thought it was pretty much just partner swapping but clearly it includes so much more. Im not really hung up on labels but my definition it as any type of sexual activity involving more than 2 people. 2 people (or less lol) is just regular/casual sex to me."

That seems to be a common view on here and who am i to argue

lol

Like others have said, labels are labels, and if i a single guy were to meet a single woman off here, i aint going to worry about any labels, i'm just going to enjoy myself

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We believe its all so much better if the swapping involves couples that are look term married or together x its so much more a personal thing when your sharing under those circumstances x "

I disagree, it is as personal as you choose to make it regardless of who swaps with who.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is swinging isnt "exactly" anything, it is whatever people make of it, what one person calls swinging others may not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could do with some Nsa but need the kiss and cuddle more

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I could do with some Nsa but need the kiss and cuddle more

I enjoy all that too

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We believe its all so much better if the swapping involves couples that are look term married or together x its so much more a personal thing when your sharing under those circumstances x

I disagree, it is as personal as you choose to make it regardless of who swaps with who.

That's true and long term married doesn't always equal long term secure or both in it together..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We believe its all so much better if the swapping involves couples that are look term married or together x its so much more a personal thing when your sharing under those circumstances x

I disagree, it is as personal as you choose to make it regardless of who swaps with who.

That's true and long term married doesn't always equal long term secure or both in it together.."

We are both in it together however I am not of the belief that a swinger has to constitute of both the husband and wife swapping. It is what we choose to do and others are entitled to their own opinions.

There is such a spectrum with swinging that no one "size" fits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is swinging isnt "exactly" anything, it is whatever people make of it, what one person calls swinging others may not.

I have to say i agree with you mackemcouple, for a change

lol, but i know from other threads there are a few vociferous couples who would take my and your head off for speaking such sacrilege on a swingers site

lol"

well thats the same with just about every subject that comes up, theres always people with the attitude of " if its not what i say then its wrong" lol, but the truth is exactly that, swinging isnt just a website, and its open to everyone to decide what swinging is for them.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

The definition that seems to make most sense to us is recreational sex with other people while in a relationship, in the presence of your partner or with his/her knowledge and consent.

When we were young both of us often ended up sleeping with someone new, or maybe even shagging several at a party. Nobody thought of themselves as swingers, or any other label in fact except maybe promiscuous; it was just fun sex.

We both had affairs and one-night-stands when we were married to our exes, and we wouldn't call that swinging either.

Agree though it's what you make of it - definitions don't matter as long as you are enjoying the sex!

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Swinging is having lots of sex with eachothers knowledge and making sure your wife gets what she wants and plenty of it lol

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

We think swinging has to involve more than two single people.

But mostly it's an attitude, a thought process. An understanding of and respect of your play partners reasons for being there makes you a swinger and not someone who is using a swinging site to try to find 'an easy fuck'

lol.

Of course it's about sex but its about two or more people having sex and we think understanding and caring that everyone involved would like their fun in whatever form, is really important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not looking for an arguement but just trying to open the debate up with some food for thought.

The continual problem when this question arises on the forums is that everyone here has a vested interest in retaining their 'seat on the swinging bus' which makes reaching a consensus of where to draw any line in the sand impossible to achieve.

The seemingly commendable attitude of each to their own is extremely polite but that stance then suggests that the dreamers/fakes/picture collectors/men with lady profiles etc etc are now accorded the status of swingers which for any rational thinking person is simply illogical.

If you accept the above grouping are not representative of the lifestyle, any arguement for their inclusion would make for an interesting discussion, then you would logically conclude that somewhere between Chams on a Friday night and our dreamers is a point where vanilla stops and swinging commences.

If you ask outside of the lifestyle for thoughts on Swinging then the answer is almost always a variation on wife swapping/group sex/sex clubs and the like.

As others have alluded to swinging isn't vanilla ergo dating is not swinging.

It therefore does seem rational to suggest that swinging commences when 3 or more people are involved.

There are quite probably more holes in the arguement above than your average slice of Swiss cheese however I suspect if pressed most of us in the lifestyle would think that in this case it takes 3 to Tango.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But if your anyone of the things you quoted then your not swinging at all, as all your doing is wanking over pics or conversations with swingers, or get off on arranging a meet then not showing up, so your not actually doing anything or meeting anyone.

Im sorry but i dont really understand why you picked mycomment to quote anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did premiss my post by saying I was not looking for a fight and was simply using a part of your post to try to expand the debate, no insult or slight was meant in anyway.

The point I was trying to make, and not very well it would appear lol, is that if we all go with the 'very polite all inclusive' approach then the very fact that the 'wankers' you refer to are members here on Fab or any other Swing Site would imply they are swingers.

We both agree that is not the case

The question now is if they are not swingers then who else do we categorise as not swinging, or in other words at what point does vanilla cease to be vanilla and become swinging?

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By *sian_coupleukCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"We think swinging has to involve more than two single people.

lol.

Of course it's about sex but its about two or more people having sex and we think understanding and caring that everyone involved would like their fun in whatever form, is really important."

Agree with this - from our experience most singles (usually the younger breed of men) think of it a site to find an easy fuck and the thought of fucking someone's mrs brings them on this site in numbers.

But whilst it is the sexual act we all seek - there is code of conduct and respect also needed. As a cpl we when we play with another cpl we respect each of the individual and not judge their lifestyle in anyway. After all we are in the same boat. But when it comes to single men, they wudnt daren't share their wives or g/f's yet happily fuck someone else's.

also we have heard single men refer to the single women /wives / gf's on here as slags - that attitude is what puts us off...

We find the older single men tend to respect what swinging is about but the younger guys come charging in dick 1st and think we are obliged to play with them... Ahem yeh right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did premiss my post by saying I was not looking for a fight and was simply using a part of your post to try to expand the debate, no insult or slight was meant in anyway.

We both agree that is not the case

The question now is if they are not swingers then who else do we categorise as not swinging, or in other words at what point does vanilla cease to be vanilla and become swinging?"

but i didnt say it was all inclusive, i said it was open to variation and change, i also said swinging isnt just a website, ill use this as an example, 3 friends have a one off 3 some but dont class themselves as swingers whereas other people would class them as swingers.

i wasnt saying that anyone that creates a profile on a swinging site is a swinger, far from it in fact.

Hope ive cleared this up a bit at least lol as im not looking for a fight either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we are both pulling at the same bit of wool here as I can't fault your logic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did premiss my post by saying I was not looking for a fight and was simply using a part of your post to try to expand the debate, no insult or slight was meant in anyway.

We both agree that is not the case

The question now is if they are not swingers then who else do we categorise as not swinging, or in other words at what point does vanilla cease to be vanilla and become swinging?

i wasnt saying that anyone that creates a profile on a swinging site is a swinger, far from it in fact.

Hope ive cleared this up a bit at least lol as im not looking for a fight either.

3 friends having a 1 off 3 some doesnt make them swingers though.

surely swinging is a lifestyle choice or a hobby rather than a 1 night experimentation?

if, after our first meet, we had decided not to continue, then would we be swingers for the rest of our lives, just non active?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wasnt saying that anyone that creates a profile on a swinging site is a swinger, far from it in fact.

Hope ive cleared this up a bit at least lol as im not looking for a fight either.

3 friends having a 1 off 3 some doesnt make them swingers though.

surely swinging is a lifestyle choice or a hobby rather than a 1 night experimentation?

if, after our first meet, we had decided not to continue, then would we be swingers for the rest of our lives, just non active?"

That was the point they were making

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wasnt saying that anyone that creates a profile on a swinging site is a swinger, far from it in fact.

Hope ive cleared this up a bit at least lol as im not looking for a fight either.

3 friends having a 1 off 3 some doesnt make them swingers though.

surely swinging is a lifestyle choice or a hobby rather than a 1 night experimentation?

if, after our first meet, we had decided not to continue, then would we be swingers for the rest of our lives, just non active?

That was the point they were making

well im glad i have caught up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took me a while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly the point i was making some will say it is some will say it isnt.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

Funny how all the singles have come out in droves, to say swinging is what you want it to be. Well for once your wrong swinging is a couple swapping partners in the original true sense.

Single people just looking for kinky sex is not swinging, it's simply just that sex. In this case s site should be called fuckbook for singles.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

While not the most eloquent of responses the truth behind it is there.

Swinging by definition is the following.

"Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.[1] Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to planned regular social meetings to "hooking up" with like-minded people at a swingers' club. It can also involve Internet-based swinger social networking services online."

While there are lots of variations of what you can do for it to BE swinging it has to involve

"singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others"

Now this is primarily a swinging website (clue is in the name), so it would be wise for those that sign up to at least have some sort of idea what swinging IS. You can choose to live by the definition or ignore it but it IS what it IS.

Swingers are a welcoming easy going community (on the whole) and we accept people who dont want to engage in swinging into the community however at least show the respect to understand what it is and don't try to redefine it to suit your own point of view. Maybe keeping it in mind and respecting the couples you interact with and a bit of empathy towards them might be a good thing too

There are many many casual sex sites, from grindr to POF and may in-between so you cant use the "casual NSA" clause because there are sites aimed directly at this so you could indeed be on there. YOU have signed up to a swingers site so a bit of respect for that is no bad thing

In short, swinging is what it IS, feel free to join the community and site but at least respect what swinging is and don't try and re define it constantly to suit your world view.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"While not the most eloquent of responses the truth behind it is there.

Swinging by definition is the following.

Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.[1] Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to planned regular social meetings to "hooking up" with like-minded people at a swingers' club. It can also involve Internet-based swinger social networking services online.

While there are lots of variations of what you can do for it to BE swinging it has to involve

singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others

In short, swinging is what it IS, feel free to join the community and site but at least respect what swinging is and don't try and re define it constantly to suit your world view.

So if two single people meet on Fab and fuck each other's brains out they are 'disrespecting' swinging by calling themselves swingers, are they?

What a load of rubbish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because the site has swingers in the name doesn't mean people use it that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So if two single people meet on Fab and fuck each other's brains out they are 'disrespecting' swinging by calling themselves swingers, are they?

What a load of rubbish."

I think what's being suggested is that if 2 single people meet off here it's no different to vanilla dating.

Any counter argument to that suggestion will certainly contribute to the OP's initial question

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

So if two single people meet on Fab and fuck each other's brains out they are 'disrespecting' swinging by calling themselves swingers, are they?

What a load of rubbish."

Nice straw man, not once did I suggest two singles meeting was disrespecting anything, but now you have taken the tangent I cant wait for everyone else to start.

Someone asked to define swinging and I did so.

Just to straw man you back, are two singles that meet through FAB and have sex swingers just because they are a member of the website then ?

load of rubbish yourself.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Just because the site has swingers in the name doesn't mean people use it that way."

Indeed, but the question was "what is swinging ?"

it IS what it IS, what people use the site for is what they use the site for, just being a member doesn't make you a swinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just because the site has swingers in the name doesn't mean people use it that way.

Indeed, but the question was "what is swinging ?"

it IS what it IS, what people use the site for is what they use the site for, just being a member doesn't make you a swinger.

That was my point too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so in your view swinging can only be done by couples with couples, so what about couples that like to have 3 somes with another guy or girl, are they all swingers or is just the couple swingers.or are none of them swingers, i understand the 2 singles meeting been no different to dating and i agree that it is a swinging site but surely in my.example they are all swingers.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 05/09/13 22:06:18]

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

So if two single people meet on Fab and fuck each other's brains out they are 'disrespecting' swinging by calling themselves swingers, are they?

What a load of rubbish.

Nice straw man, not once did I suggest two singles meeting was disrespecting anything, but now you have taken the tangent I cant wait for everyone else to start.

Someone asked to define swinging and I did so.

Just to straw man you back, are two singles that meet through FAB and have sex swingers just because they are a member of the website then ?

load of rubbish yourself.

You don't even understand what you've written yourself.

Before you try lecturing people, sit back, read what you have written very carefully, then switch off your computer and have a jolly good think.

Then sleep on it, come back on Fab, read what you've written again, and then you can have another go.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Ok so in your view swinging can only be done by couples with couples, so what about couples that like to have 3 somes with another guy or girl, are they all swingers or is just the couple swingers.or are none of them swingers, i understand the 2 singles meeting been no different to dating and i agree that it is a swinging site but surely in my.example they are all swingers."

This is not my "view" this was a definition of what swinging is.

If a single guy or girl meets couples for purposes of a 3 some then they are a swinger, they are taking part in the "partner" sharing.

A single who only meets singles on here is not.

Its honestly not as to define as some are making out here, you can be on a swinging site but unless you engage in "swinging" activities you aren't a swinger.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

You don't even understand what you've written yourself.

Before you try lecturing people, sit back, read what you have written very carefully, then switch off your computer and have a jolly good think.

Then sleep on it, come back on Fab, read what you've written again, and then you can have another go."

Ah so you have no response now, straw man to argue so you will settle for a post full of attempted patronisation.

I would suggest unless you can add something to the question of "what is a swinger" you refrain from posting or attacking other users personally, I was under the impression that was against the rules here.

Attack the points not the poster you will go further.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

Now that would be a single engaging with a swinging couple, is that not obvious to you.

Swinging is not defined by people, its a life style of what couples partake in, weather that be singles or other couples.

So in my view a single having sex with a swinging couple, would make you partaking in the swinging life style

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

So in my view a single having sex with a swinging couple, would make you partaking in the swinging life style

got it in one.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

You don't even understand what you've written yourself.

Before you try lecturing people, sit back, read what you have written very carefully, then switch off your computer and have a jolly good think.

Then sleep on it, come back on Fab, read what you've written again, and then you can have another go.

Ah so you have no response now, straw man to argue so you will settle for a post full of attempted patronisation.

Attack the points not the poster you will go further.

I agree black cherry, some people on here like to think there the boss, well think you will find that is the site owners. If you don't like what posters post then don't attack them but disagree.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Now that would be a single engaging with a swinging couple, is that not obvious to you.

Swinging is not defined by people, its a life style of what couples partake in, weather that be singles or other couples.

So in my view a single having sex with a swinging couple, would make you partaking in the swinging life style

The point is that only a fool would think that a term like swinging can be permanently defined, because it is just a word, and words change their meaning depending on use.

So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

Now that would be a single engaging with a swinging couple, is that not obvious to you.

Swinging is not defined by people, its a life style of what couples partake in, weather that be singles or other couples.

So in my view a single having sex with a swinging couple, would make you partaking in the swinging life style

The point is that only a fool would think that a term like swinging can be permanently defined, because it is just a word, and words change their meaning depending on use.

So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there."

No you mean people who change terms is to suit them only.

So what your trying to tell me is if you and enough people start calling a kettle a new name of say a dog, then the definition will change will it. no it will simply gain a AKA.

See that i can be smart as you but mine makes sense, were as yours is just to suit your opinion.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

You don't even understand what you've written yourself.

Before you try lecturing people, sit back, read what you have written very carefully, then switch off your computer and have a jolly good think.

Then sleep on it, come back on Fab, read what you've written again, and then you can have another go.

Ah so you have no response now, straw man to argue so you will settle for a post full of attempted patronisation.

Attack the points not the poster you will go further.

Pointing out that you don't understand what you have written is not an attack.

The first post attacked one of your points, such as it was. As you don't understand your own point well enough to see why that is, there won't be any 'going further'.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Now that would be a single engaging with a swinging couple, is that not obvious to you.

Swinging is not defined by people, its a life style of what couples partake in, weather that be singles or other couples.

So in my view a single having sex with a swinging couple, would make you partaking in the swinging life style

The point is that only a fool would think that a term like swinging can be permanently defined, because it is just a word, and words change their meaning depending on use.

So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there.

No you mean people who change terms is to suit them only.

So what your trying to tell me is if you and enough people start calling a kettle a new name of say a dog, then the definition will change will it. no it will simply gain a AKA.

See that i can be smart as you but mine makes sense, were as yours is just to suit your opinion.

'Swinging' and 'kettle' are not analogous, sorry.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

The point is that only a fool would think that a term like swinging can be permanently defined, because it is just a word, and words change their meaning depending on use."

That is the current definition of it if this changes over time then we can post it up here, someone asked it to be defined I grabbed the definition and posted it.

"So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers."

So if I want to call myself a horse I can then ? because "definitions" change over time ??? Signing up to a website does not make you "something" unless you actively engage in that activity. Two single people meeting for fun are not swinging just because they both use this site, much like two people in a stables do not suddenly become horses because they are standing in there.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there."

The only person annoyed on here seems to be you, maybe you're one of those people who lack a certain empathy or ability to come across as a human being when you post but so far you seem like a little ball of rage who could use some of the advice they were dishing out earlier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you asked most people what swinging is they'd think keys in the bowl - and assume it was married couples.

If you asked them if single people could swing - or fuck buddies etc. I'd imagine you'd draw a blank look.

But very few would care what the definition is beyond this bubble.

Personally I think swinging is attached couples - and as said previously others playing with them are engaging in swinging - but singles and fuck buddies are not in my opinion swinging - they're shagging.

None of which makes the remotest difference to what people will do or not do!

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Pointing out that you don't understand what you have written is not an attack.

The first post attacked one of your points, such as it was. As you don't understand your own point well enough to see why that is, there won't be any 'going further'."

What dont I understand exactly ?

you tried to straw man me ie you claimed that I was making the point that "singles meeting singles are disrespecting swingers" which is quite simply not in my posts, maybe you could invest in some glasses or if you want you can just quote where I said that, or accept your attempt at a straw man failed.

Swinging is what it is, if you dont like that its fine you can live by whatever rules you wish too but the definition of swinging is quite easy to find.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

The point is that only a fool would think that a term like swinging can be permanently defined, because it is just a word, and words change their meaning depending on use.

That is the current definition of it if this changes over time then we can post it up here, someone asked it to be defined I grabbed the definition and posted it.

So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there.

Sheesh, whatever. Hardly think that saying that you are talking rubbish is the definition of rage or lack of empathy, but it takes all sorts.

Enjoy your night.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

Now that would be a single engaging with a swinging couple, is that not obvious to you.

Swinging is not defined by people, its a life style of what couples partake in, weather that be singles or other couples.

So in my view a single having sex with a swinging couple, would make you partaking in the swinging life style

The point is that only a fool would think that a term like swinging can be permanently defined, because it is just a word, and words change their meaning depending on use.

So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there.

No you mean people who change terms is to suit them only.

So what your trying to tell me is if you and enough people start calling a kettle a new name of say a dog, then the definition will change will it. no it will simply gain a AKA.

See that i can be smart as you but mine makes sense, were as yours is just to suit your opinion.

'Swinging' and 'kettle' are not analogous, sorry.

That your best come back?

Like black cherry as said try discussing the point that as been posted, and not just coming back with a blank remark that makes no sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you'd like to meet up and demonstrate the different definitions of swinging I'll be happy to arbitrate

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"If you'd like to meet up and demonstrate the different definitions of swinging I'll be happy to arbitrate

What about being a horse ? can we meet a stable and be horses ?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You don't even understand what you've written yourself.

Before you try lecturing people, sit back, read what you have written very carefully, then switch off your computer and have a jolly good think.

Then sleep on it, come back on Fab, read what you've written again, and then you can have another go.

Ah so you have no response now, straw man to argue so you will settle for a post full of attempted patronisation.

Attack the points not the poster you will go further.

Is the straw man reference to do with the man with no brain or am I missing something here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you'd like to meet up and demonstrate the different definitions of swinging I'll be happy to arbitrate

What about being a horse ? can we meet a stable and be horses ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't even understand what you've written yourself.

Before you try lecturing people, sit back, read what you have written very carefully, then switch off your computer and have a jolly good think.

Then sleep on it, come back on Fab, read what you've written again, and then you can have another go.

Ah so you have no response now, straw man to argue so you will settle for a post full of attempted patronisation.

Attack the points not the poster you will go further.

Is the straw man reference to do with the man with no brain or am I missing something here?"

Not like worzel no - tho I bet Aunt Sally would swing

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok it looks like this is getting too personal on both sides now. If you can'e debate without being civil or getting angry then do as the summary of the forum rules ask and log off for a while.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

In summary: If you treat other people with respect, you can't go far wrong. Don't forget that the forums are meant to be fun, if you find yourself fuming and writing long angry messages you're probably best taking a break from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So if single people who are having NSA sex are calling themselves swingers, then they are swingers.

Whether that annoys people who want to be precious about the definition of the arbitrary clique that they think they belong to is really neither here nor there."

Using that logic would also accept that simply joining a swinging site makes one a swinger?

Even if you only join to picture hunt etc etc, does that automatically make you a swinger?

At what point would you suggest entry to the clique you suggest is warranted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im very confused now, a single playing with a couple is engaging in swinging but not actually swinging, how does that work, surely there either swinging or not.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Is the straw man reference to do with the man with no brain or am I missing something here?"

A straw man argument is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent's position. To "attack a straw man"

i.e

A: "Sunny days are good"

B: "If all days were sunny, we'd never have rain, and without rain, we'd have famine and death." Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im very confused now, a single playing with a couple is engaging in swinging but not actually swinging, how does that work, surely there either swinging or not."

They are swinging, end of

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Is the straw man reference to do with the man with no brain or am I missing something here?

Not like worzel no - tho I bet Aunt Sally would swing"

I bet she would, she looked a dirty bitch ....or was that Worzel looked dirty

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

^^ Checking out stables...

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Im very confused now, a single playing with a couple is engaging in swinging but not actually swinging, how does that work, surely there either swinging or not."

No one said that anywhere on the thread, if someone engages in swinging activities they are swingers, its quite simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the straw man reference to do with the man with no brain or am I missing something here?

Not like worzel no - tho I bet Aunt Sally would swing

I bet she would, she looked a dirty bitch ....or was that Worzel looked dirty

She always looked a bit flushed too

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Is the straw man reference to do with the man with no brain or am I missing something here?

Not like worzel no - tho I bet Aunt Sally would swing

I bet she would, she looked a dirty bitch ....or was that Worzel looked dirty

She always looked a bit flushed too"

I reckon they were on here !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im very confused now, a single playing with a couple is engaging in swinging but not actually swinging, how does that work, surely there either swinging or not.

No one said that anywhere on the thread, if someone engages in swinging activities they are swingers, its quite simple.

having just double checked to make sure i wasnt mistaken it was actually said by someone and i quote " if a single is having a 3 some with a couple they are partaking in swinging, but in his view singles and fuckbuddys arent swinging there shagging" so it was said in this thread which is where my post came from.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"Im very confused now, a single playing with a couple is engaging in swinging but not actually swinging, how does that work, surely there either swinging or not.

No one said that anywhere on the thread, if someone engages in swinging activities they are swingers, its quite simple.

No you have simply muss quoted the word, swinger and swinging are total different words.

A swinger by definition is a couple shearing each other, and swinging is partaking in the activity. So yes a Single person would be swinging but not necessarily a swinger.

I have put on a police uniform on fancy dress, does that make me a police officer??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have put on a police uniform on fancy dress, does that make me a police officer?? "

Not a police officer no but definately someone partaking in fancy dress.

If a single guy joins us for sexual fun he is swinging with us, something which is recognised by any rational lifestyle member.

To suggest anything else is, to us, a bit daft.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

I have put on a police uniform on fancy dress, does that make me a police officer??

Not a police officer no but definately someone partaking in fancy dress.

If a single guy joins us for sexual fun he is swinging with us, something which is recognised by any rational lifestyle member.

To suggest anything else is, to us, a bit daft. "

Can you not read? I used the word swinging, i did not suggest otherwise at all.

so i agree to suggest anything else is a bit daft, just like your feeling now.

So again I repeat for you and anyone else who has misunderstood me,

A single person partaking in the activity with a couple is partaking in the activity of swinging, but not necessarily a swinger.

And your profile says man, so we're are you getting the we/us from??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So if the single person partaking in swinging is not a swinger what exactly are they?????

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"So if the single person partaking in swinging is not a swinger what exactly are they?????"

You don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to work that out, there a single person having sex as part of a threesome with a swinging couple, and partaking in a activity of swinging.

So put your question back to you, if i dress up as a police officer does that make me one, your answer was no it makes me partaking in dressing up.

And as black cherry said if you play in stables, does it make you a horse?

Maybe it's time to quite and not embarrass yourself no more, as your answering your own questions now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/13 00:24:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if the single person partaking in swinging is not a swinger what exactly are they?????

You don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to work that out, there a single person having sex as part of a threesome with a swinging couple, and partaking in a activity of swinging.

So they are swinging but they are not swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think by asking people who move in swinging circles how they define swinging your asking the wrong people, they all have their own definitions for what they do.

However if you were to ask say 10 vanilla people how they define it you'd probably get a better, unbiased answer and we'd bet that answer would be along the lines of "Two or more COUPLES having sex together".

As for how to describe a single who joins a couple for sex, we'd say the single was taking advantage of the couples open relationship and joining them for sex.

We wouldn't describe the single as a swinger, more an opportunist.

As for changing the meaning of a word just because it doesn't fit what you want it to mean.......well that's absolute rubbish.

The original meaning still stands .....swinging = couples meeting couples for sex.

Singles meeting singles for sex is what goes on in most pubs/clubs every weekend, it isn't swinging.

As for singles meeting couples for sex, we've already covered that.....opportunists.

XXXX

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"[Removed by poster at 06/09/13 00:24:59]"

Getting board now so going to log off, but for the last time, I would class them as a single person having a threesome with a couple who are swingers, and partaking in the activity of swinging. There got it this time??

I have been out to night clubs and and got off with couples, that did not make me a swinger nor did it mean we was swinging, it meant I was playing with a couple sexually.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"We think by asking people who move in swinging circles how they define swinging your asking the wrong people, they all have their own definitions for what they do.

As for how to describe a single who joins a couple for sex, we'd say the single was taking advantage of the couples open relationship and joining them for sex.

We wouldn't describe the single as a swinger, more an opportunist.

As for changing the meaning of a word just because it doesn't fit what you want it to mean.......well that's absolute rubbish.

The original meaning still stands .....swinging = couples meeting couples for sex.

Singles meeting singles for sex is what goes on in most pubs/clubs every weekend, it isn't swinging.

As for singles meeting couples for sex, we've already covered that.....opportunists.

XXXX"

Wow sense at last.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/13 00:42:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opportunists

Have you played with many single folk, our experiences to date don't reflect the opportunism thing at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did we say it was a bad thing?

Of course they're opportunists, the couple wants to add an extra dimension to their sex life, the single (mostly guys) seizes the opportunity for sex and (if he's lucky enough) gets it.......Everyone's happy!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if the single person partaking in swinging is not a swinger what exactly are they?????"

The singleton would (in my view) be part of a threesome, together with the couple whose lifestyle might swinging, but in this instance they're just indulging in a threesome - not swinging.

*grabs coat - heads to door*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As for singles meeting couples for sex, we've already covered that.....opportunists."

Wrong. "Opportunism is the conscious policy and practice of taking selfish advantage of circumstances – with little regard for principles, or with what the consequences are for others."

If a single joins a couple for sex, it is with consent of that couple, ergo all three are in agreement, so the notion that there would be inherent disregard for principles etc, is ludicrous.

You cannot change the meaning of a word to suit yourself. (do I hear an echo here?

)

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

You cannot change the meaning of a word to suit yourself. (do I hear an echo here?

)

I'm pretty sure I got called a fool for suggesting that very thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As for singles meeting couples for sex, we've already covered that.....opportunists.

Wrong. "Opportunism is the conscious policy and practice of taking selfish advantage of circumstances – with little regard for principles, or with what the consequences are for others."

If a single joins a couple for sex, it is with consent of that couple, ergo all three are in agreement, so the notion that there would be inherent disregard for principles etc, is ludicrous.

You cannot change the meaning of a word to suit yourself. (do I hear an echo here?

)

Outstanding response.

I thought 'opportunist' was one of the most denigrating comments I have seen on here.

Our experience with carefully selected singles guys is regular ebb and flow of consensual fun shared by likeminded people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if the single person partaking in swinging is not a swinger what exactly are they?????

The singleton would (in my view) be part of a threesome, together with the couple whose lifestyle might swinging, but in this instance they're just indulging in a threesome - not swinging.

*grabs coat - heads to door*"

But if the singleton is part of a moresome?

Is a single never a swinger?

Singles at Clubs or party's?

Just expanding the discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But if the singleton is part of a moresome?

Is a single never a swinger?

Singles at Clubs or party's?

Just expanding the discussion

This thread made me ponder on the pure meaning of the word 'swinger' and I concluded that the original meaning should stand (and consequently amended my own profile where I had used the word erroneously).

Ergo - a single can never swing, only partake in swinging. S/he can attend a swingers party, of course - but that's all. If a single joins more than one couple, the couples will be swinging true to the word, but the single will still just partaking.

Occasional partners who attend parties or go to clubs aren't swingers either; they just use the venue for some jolly fun. Only couples and those who operate as a couple for that precise purpose can call themselves swingers.

(I wish this format had the possibility for bold and/or italic for clarity reason).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As for singles meeting couples for sex, we've already covered that.....opportunists.

Wrong. "Opportunism is the conscious policy and practice of taking selfish advantage of circumstances – with little regard for principles, or with what the consequences are for others."

If a single joins a couple for sex, it is with consent of that couple, ergo all three are in agreement, so the notion that there would be inherent disregard for principles etc, is ludicrous.

You cannot change the meaning of a word to suit yourself. (do I hear an echo here?

)

Outstanding response.

I thought 'opportunist' was one of the most denigrating comments I have seen on here.

Our experience with carefully selected singles guys is regular ebb and flow of consensual fun shared by likeminded people

Check out our last reply and you'll see that we agree that both the single and couple get mutual pleasure from meeting for sex.

As for "denigrating".....we think not.

Meeting with a couple of open minded swingers for sex under the pretext of being "likeminded" and on the same wavelength as them is both opportunist and also "denigrating" when the singleton knows full well they would never (if they had one) share their partner with anyone.

This has been admitted and implied many times by singles of both sexes on this site alone.

So yes, we stand by opportunist, which may also be the reason there are so many single guys and guys purporting to be single just waiting for the opportunity of sex with swingers.

XXXX

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Absolutely fantastic responses on this thread so far, exactly what i wanted. There seems to be so many definitions of what swinging is and there's been some 'heavyweight' debating on here so far lol. I can see merits in both sides of the arguement and i hope you all keep putting your side in a calm and logical manner and leave out the personal attacks as it doesn't do you or your arguement any favours. But great stuff so far guys and may i thank everyone for contributing to this tricky and passionate subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ergo - a single can never swing, only partake in swinging. S/he can attend a swingers party, of course - but that's all. If a single joins more than one couple, the couples will be swinging true to the word, but the single will still just partaking.

(I wish this format had the possibility for bold and/or italic for clarity reason).

Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(I wish this format had the possibility for bold and/or italic for clarity reason).

Spot on. "

sounds about right to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meeting with a couple of open minded swingers for sex under the pretext of being "likeminded" and on the same wavelength as them is both opportunist and also "denigrating" when the singleton knows full well they would never (if they had one) share their partner with anyone."

'Morning all! Sorry - can't let this bone go* [terrier-mode] (pun intended)

A single engaging in sex with one of more couples, whatever his/her own ideas/preferences re swinging, is not taking advantage per se. S/he just uses what is on offer, as does the couple. Actually, the couple that usually operates under the Jolly Roger of swinging could be accused of opportunism, too, when they forsake the principles of swinging and start on the slippery slope of shagging singles. If an accusing finger HAS to be pointed, it reasonably should be at the establishment/club that watered down the rules and began to accept singles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is both opportunist and also "denigrating" when the singleton knows full well they would never (if they had one) share their partner with anyone.

This has been admitted and implied many times by singles of both sexes on this site alone.

So yes, we stand by opportunist, which may also be the reason there are so many single guys and guys purporting to be single just waiting for the opportunity of sex with swingers.

XXXX"

I stepped away from this last night because it was almost 2 in the morning here in Spain and in a strange way I was beginning to agree with you which was very confusing to say the least.

Pondering it further I offer the following. In our formative years in the lifestyle we also thought it was purely a couples thing, you can't swap unless you are a couple sort of thing and considered single men as rather predatory, looking for nothing more than a fuck and an empty sac.

Time has changed that viewpoint and for the last 4 years or so we have been actively playing with carefully selected guys who in our experience so far are bringing far more to the party so to speak than they are taking.

We love Chams but due to circumstance only manage to get there a few times a year. We go on a Friday as we like the couples singles dynamic.

On more than one occasion we have enjoyed some fun with a very unassuming and capable black guy, any regular Chams folk may recognise him from this. He doesn't appear to hunt with the pack and is more than happy to chat as part of the general preamble.

However once in a private room he opens up his little toilet bag of goodies which has condoms, lube, toys etc and then politely tells you he doesn't usually cum but will pleasure you in any way you want until YOU have had enough.

It would be stupid of us to think he was taking nothing from that as its quite clear he enjoys what he does but the feeling he engenders is that he is pleasuring you because he wants to and not for his own selfish needs.

We also attend Horny Porny GG nights at the Lodge and again in the main the guys are there to provide a service and in general boy do they provide it.

The point I am trying to make is that whilst its as clear as the nose on my face that the opportunist exists, watch the 'pack' at Chams with their constantly moving eyes as they trail round the club, locker keys jangling looking for victims or simply read the forums each day and witness some of the detritus in here.

It's our humble opinion that single folk who embrace the lifestyle and give as much if not more than they take are by definition members of the lifestyle, ergo swingers and that those who simply want to empty their sacs in anything that will let them are fully deserved of the opportunist label.

Doubt many will fully agree with the above but will hopefully understand it as experience has led us to this belief which we are comfy with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doubt many will fully agree with the above but will hopefully understand it as experience has led us to this belief which we are comfy with it

What a great post. It makes lots of sense. What I put in my previous posts was of course purely based on semantics. I like to be clear on what is meant when using words/expression in discussions [points at the misuse of 'ignorance'. Of course I understand what was meant, but it doesn't help the flow of the conversation if you have to read twice to see the apparent new meaning.]

I doubt I will ever visit a club, for various practical reasons, so even in the wider, welcoming, sense of the word I won't call myself a true swinger. And it would be silly to just ram the sword of linguistic truth down people's throats. It isn't worth it. Just enjoy whatever form of sexual joy you manage to find. That's all, folks

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Just to stimulate the debate a little i'd like to put 2 points forward.

Firstly, If as been said that single men who play with couples are just opportunists, does that mean single females who play with couples are also nothing more than opportunists?

Secondly, if its accepted that swinging has to involve an element of 'swapping' a partner and that group meets and gangbangs are also accepted forms of swinging, what happens then if the female who entertains the guys is single? Is it then no longer swinging because she is single and no-one has actually 'swapped' her? Or is it still swinging because its a group meet? And we all know group meets cannot be classed as dating, as you can't get that from any dating site or from down your local pub lol

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Just to stimulate the debate a little i'd like to put 2 points forward.

Firstly, If as been said that single men who play with couples are just opportunists, does that mean single females who play with couples are also nothing more than opportunists?

Anyone want to take on my 2 questions above?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im surprised this question sparked such a heated debate. But after reading all the points i would agree It is a lifestyle, a way of thinking. I would say any single male or female who would not even consider swapping or sharing if they were in a relationship an opportunist and not a true swinger. So to answer your second question to me it would depend on the the views of the people involved. Swinging to me is still partner sharing. I wouldn't say a gangbang is exclusively a swingers activity if that makes sense. If all are single and enjoying it does not automatically make them swingers. Of course it's not dating but its casual sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 08/09/13 06:46:07]

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes."

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles."

opportunist does have a bad connotation. I don't think being an opportunist is a bad thing if no one is being hurt or cheated. i dont think it is so something to feel defensive about really. open minded sounds better than opportunist lol.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

Not looking for an arguement but just trying to open the debate up with some food for thought.

If you ask outside of the lifestyle for thoughts on Swinging then the answer is almost always a variation on wife swapping/group sex/sex clubs and the like.

As others have alluded to swinging isn't vanilla ergo dating is not swinging.

It therefore does seem rational to suggest that swinging commences when 3 or more people are involved.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles.

I would prefer open minded too, but a few here would disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it involves less than 3 people then for us, and I do stress for us it's not swinging.

That's also my take on swinging, regardless of anyone's relationship status or connection to those taking part....

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I would say any single male or female who would not even consider swapping or sharing if they were in a relationship an opportunist and not a true swinger."

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I would say any single male or female who would not even consider swapping or sharing if they were in a relationship an opportunist and not a true swinger.

So it's not EVERY... then...

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles."

Little shit stirrer we got here, your making the word opportunist out to be bad, someone used the word as yourself and another member insisted on finding a word for single people partaking in swinging fun

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles.

I agree with you, if people insist on label like the OP the open minded would best be suited to single people.

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By *icoupleforfunz27Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles."
and re read the forum, the word opportunist was stated for single males in general, were have you picked up "You and EVERY other single female From" like i said shit stirrer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles.

I would prefer open minded too, but a few here would disagree."

Well let them disagree then its how i see it and anyone elses view to me doesnt really matter

And i used to play as a couple and would again as i dont mind sharing.

Sharing is caring and all that....but at the moment im happy playing as a single and as long as im happy i dont care what others may label me.

I dont lie or cheat and what more could anyone ask for...they chose to play with me i dont force them so let them label away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just labels to me its i swing both ways

I dont really see myself as a swinger more an open minded adult who likes sex with variety and with both sexes.

But it seems most people are calling you and EVERY other single female an 'opportunist' because you all play as singles. and re read the forum, the word opportunist was stated for single males in general, were have you picked up "You and EVERY other single female From" like i said shit stirrer

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers."

It's funny you should say that... So do we

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers."

Now, i thought you said only a couple can be true swingers? Now you're saying a single can be a swinger too? I'd be very interested to know why you class these particular singles as swingers, so we can all know your qualifying criteria

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers.

It's funny you should say that... So do we

You also have said only a couple can be true swingers? now you're saying a single can be a swinger too as well? So again, i'd be very interested to know why you class your particular singles as swingers, so we can all know your particular qualifying criteria as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose swinging is what you make it

Its that common now swinging can be anything at all

I wouldn't class myself as a swinger as i just don't like the term

Im a single woman with a sex drive so i come on here and use clubs to find sex, i don't class that as swinging, i don't see it as any different to picking a guy up in a pub, its all just casual sex no matter where you find it, i would just sooner find men on here than in a pub as i find it easier to talk about what im after sexually in a message on here than going upto a guy in a pub and asking him if he takes it up the arse

years ago swinging was quite taboo, the idea of couples swapping partners horrified many people, now days everyone's at it, couples, singers, married people looking for fun on the side, fuck buddie couples, everyone's at it and the percentage of people it horrified now days is minimal, in my opinion 'swinging' is dead, whats happening now isn't what the term swinging was intending to describe when it first started, like everything its evolved

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I suppose swinging is what you make it

Its that common now swinging can be anything at all

I wouldn't class myself as a swinger as i just don't like the term

I don't class myself as a swinger either as i prefer 1 to 1 meets with a woman. But saying that, when i do play with a couple, would that be classed as swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose swinging is what you make it

Its that common now swinging can be anything at all

I wouldn't class myself as a swinger as i just don't like the term

I don't class myself as a swinger either as i prefer 1 to 1 meets with a woman. But saying that, when i do play with a couple, would that be classed as swinging?"

No idea, i don't know what classes as swinging and what don't anymore lol

I don't see any of it swinging, i see people on here more as sexually open people not swingers

But that's just my view on the subject

its just a label like everything else

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers.

Now, i thought you said only a couple can be true swingers?"

Where did we say that?

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers.

Now, i thought you said only a couple can be true swingers?

Where did we say that?

My apologies to you if you haven't said that on this or any other topic on the forum.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Further up the thread you asked someone else:

"So again, i'd be very interested to know why you class your particular singles as swingers, so we can all know your particular qualifying criteria as well"

I don't think there is one definitive answer to that. I've said elsewhere, some guys get it, some don't but it's all down to attitude. We can sometimes tell from the way a bloke posts on here but it's more likely someone will post or say something that tells you they aren't a swinger rather than the other way round. I'm sure everyone uses different criteria though there is no 'magic bullet' that will get someone accepted by everyone. If there was people would be too busy shagging to post on here

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Little shit stirrer we got here, your making the word opportunist out to be bad, someone used the word as yourself and another member insisted on finding a word for single people partaking in swinging fun

It's called stimulating the debate, but judging by your zest to resort to an anglo-saxon attack on my good self, you clearly lack the intelligence to understand that

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Nope, we know quite a few singles that we would class as swingers.

It's funny you should say that... So do we

Have we?

You see what you have been doing is taking bits of what people have said and twisting it to suit your own personal arguement.

I'll go back up and quote our first post for you...

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"We think swinging has to involve more than two single people.

lol.

Of course it's about sex but its about two or more people having sex and we think understanding and caring that everyone involved would like their fun in whatever form, is really important."

Here you go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's called stimulating the debate, but judging by your zest to resort to an anglo-saxon attack on my good self, you clearly lack the intelligence to understand that

i must say looking at the threads you have started and the posts within them, you do like a bit controversy and to stoke the fire alot lol.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"We think swinging has to involve more than two single people.

lol.

Of course it's about sex but its about two or more people having sex and we think understanding and caring that everyone involved would like their fun in whatever form, is really important.

Here you go."

My apologies to you if you haven't said that on this or any other topic on the forum.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"i must say looking at the threads you have started and the posts within them, you do like a bit controversy and to stoke the fire alot lol.

I do like a healthy debate on what i feel are worthwhile subjects, that is true, but what i'm not too keen on are threads where some brave soul offers an opposing view to the one taken by the majority and gets their heads blown off for daring to do so and is subjected to a tirade of verbal abuse.

I do play the devil's advocate from time to time to give a debate a fresh impetus or to back up the little guy in their effort to offer an alternative point of view, which is sometimes as valid as the one taken by the majority.

I do enjoy a good 2 sided debate, with intelligent and well thought out points being put by both sides, its just a pity some people need to resort to personal attacks to win their arguement, but this only serves to spoil the debate for everyone.

Anyway i'll be going back to work soon and won't have the time to take part as much as i have, so maybe you'll have to keep the controversial topics going for me lol and i'll try and join in when i can

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Putting words into peoples mouths isn't playing devils advocate though, it's trolling.

And having a cut'n'paste apology ready for when they pull you up on it doesn't cut the mustard.

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By *hrisBlkGuy OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Putting words into peoples mouths isn't playing devils advocate though, it's trolling.

And having a cut'n'paste apology ready for when they pull you up on it doesn't cut the mustard."

There you go again, you can't help yourselves can you? I've offered you an apology but that's not good enough for you.

I didn't try to put words in anyone's mouth i was under the impression you and another couple had stated the same thing, either here or on another thread, hence the similar reply.

I've been man enough to apologise to both of you and would have thought you'd both be gracious enough to accept it, but if you can't that's your problem, because it obviously shows what kind of person you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We believe its all so much better if the swapping involves couples that are look (do you mean "long"? - Ed) term married or together x its so much more a personal thing when your sharing under those circumstances x "

I think you are right but married per se is not essential. You do need to have strong feelings for you partner though. I cannot imagine a FB having the same effect as they would just become a third body.

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