FabSwingers.com forum: absolutely astonished and appalled

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

By the message I have just received. Thing is I know its against forum rules to "name and shame" although I wouldn't dream of mentioning their names. I'm just truly shocked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please tell im all ears

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

report

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By the message I have just received. Thing is I know its against forum rules to "name and shame" although I wouldn't dream of mentioning their names. I'm just truly shocked! "

Report the message to Admin via the button.

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By *anatee175Couple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Only thing you can do is report it. Then block there's no need for that sort of thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm so dying to tell just to find out what others think or whether I am overreacting but I will get a forum ban if I do won't I?

It wasn't a disgusting message with any sexual content.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"report"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can't report it, it wasn't disgusting in any sexual way.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

"I'm so dying to tell just to find out what others think or whether I am overreacting but I will get a forum ban if I do won't I?

It wasn't a disgusting message with any sexual content."
if u dont name and shame you should be ok and nt get a bann

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By *anatee175Couple
over a year ago

Sunderland

"I'm so dying to tell just to find out what others think or whether I am overreacting but I will get a forum ban if I do won't I?

It wasn't a disgusting message with any sexual content."

Report and block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am dying to know lol im so nosy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we would be disgusted by a message with no sexual content as well....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Report, doesn't have to be sexual to do this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we would be disgusted by a message with no sexual content as well...."
lol

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Yes you will still prob get a ban if you post it on here.

Forward it to me

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Maybe it was abusive...

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By *taffsfella1Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"By the message I have just received. Thing is I know its against forum rules to "name and shame" although I wouldn't dream of mentioning their names. I'm just truly shocked! "

Sorry, I was only kidding about the water melon!!!

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By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

[Removed by poster at 01/09/13 19:28:20]

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By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc "
so so true. And then when people ask they reply by saying they can't say. Why post in the first place then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people hey.

Every year on my birthday I mail this fancy couple down the road, and I always get a reply back saying sorry you're not in the required age bracket.

How old do I have to be before I get there ?

I'm appalled at the effort they expect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes you will still prob get a ban if you post it on here.

Forward it to me

"
and me

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!"

He said "get on with it" i.e. if you want to say then say it - he never said "get over it"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!"

Yes that is diabolical, but maybe block and report are the better options than a public forum ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!"

life goes on, so you will get over it, you have no choice.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset."

I'm not surprised you're upset. You can report the message to admin for being inappropriate. Report and block. First rime I've ever heard of anyone making that sort of suggestion. I'd be fucking pissed off too.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Rime?! Time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset."

I'm nice but I don't understand why you are upset.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!

Yes that is diabolical, but maybe block and report are the better options than a public forum ?

I never mentioned the content of the message in my original post did I???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely you can say what was said without naming them, sounds like your over reacting to be honest.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!"

and you thought you couldn't report that??? thats exactly the sort of thing you should report

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a little unconventional to suggest that, but if it was just a social meet & it was an "innocent" suggestion I think diabolical is a little strong. However that's probably just be thinking that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset.

I'm nice but I don't understand why you are upset.

Do you have children?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"surely you can say what was said without naming them, sounds like your over reacting to be honest."

posting of private mail on the forums is not allowed either

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!

Yes that is diabolical, but maybe block and report are the better options than a public forum ?

I never mentioned the content of the message in my original post did I???"

But you gave in and mentioned it later in the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"surely you can say what was said without naming them, sounds like your over reacting to be honest.

posting of private mail on the forums is not allowed either"
fair enough

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it? "

Because (and I'm not suggesting the op has done this) any one with an axe to grind could come onto the forums and accuse anyone of anything!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it? "

Because some people lie.

Because some leave out bits of the story

Because each has a side to tell

Because there's no need for anyone bar the parties to sort things out using the block button.

Because some people blow things out of proportion

Cos it's hard to know who to believe

Cos some people misunderstand things

Cos there wouldn't be one fooker left on the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes you will still prob get a ban if you post it on here.

Forward it to me

Please forward to me after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it?

Because (and I'm not suggesting the op has done this) any one with an axe to grind could come onto the forums and accuse anyone of anything! "

Good valid point, but maybe they can quote the message and paste it on screen. I know fab doesn't have the facilities to do that yet, but maybe in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it? "

Because its their word against someone else's and open to abuse, personal vendettas and bitter grudges.

For example I could say "that Crazed, arranged to meet me and didn't turn up, total time waster".

NOW THE ABOVE IS NOT TRUE & JUST AN EXAMPLE OF WHY ITS A BAD IDEA.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it?

Because some people lie.

Because some leave out bits of the story

Because each has a side to tell

Because there's no need for anyone bar the parties to sort things out using the block button.

Because some people blow things out of proportion

Cos it's hard to know who to believe

Cos some people misunderstand things

Cos there wouldn't be one fooker left on the site.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset.

I'm nice but I don't understand why you are upset.

Do you have children?"

Either tell me why you're upset or don't.

My family circumstances make no difference to your experience. I'd hate to think you want to ask me so that you can make a crass remark about my ability to comprehend motherhood.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I know its a rule we shouldn't break as we can get banned, etc. But surely someone can explain to me why we can't name and shame then otherwise they'll keep doing it?

Because (and I'm not suggesting the op has done this) any one with an axe to grind could come onto the forums and accuse anyone of anything!

Good valid point, but maybe they can quote the message and paste it on screen. I know fab doesn't have the facilities to do that yet, but maybe in the future. "

Private mail is private mail and posting it on here is against another forum rule. Messages could be doctored to look bad, or just part of conversations shown to make it look one sided. It would never work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!"
adult child?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset.

I'm nice but I don't understand why you are upset.

Do you have children?

Either tell me why you're upset or don't.

My family circumstances make no difference to your experience. I'd hate to think you want to ask me so that you can make a crass remark about my ability to comprehend motherhood.

I would rather not thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was initially in the 'shocked and appalled' group until you stated it was a social meeting.

However, if it was a social meet with nothing else intended or implied then I'm sorry, I can't see what the fuss is about.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I posted hoping that some nice people would message me so I could explain it to them. Thankfully some have and understand why I'm upset.

I'm nice but I don't understand why you are upset.

Do you have children?

Either tell me why you're upset or don't.

My family circumstances make no difference to your experience. I'd hate to think you want to ask me so that you can make a crass remark about my ability to comprehend motherhood.

I would rather not thank you"

Okay - No worries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remind me never to look for sympathy in the forums xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP mentions on her profile that she can only meet once a month as she is a single parent, I can only imaging bringing the kids along to a social meet, which could have been in the park, ice ring etc was offered as a way of meeting that was convenient.

I would of replied by sending a msg, but single men are blocked from doing so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Remind me never to look for sympathy in the forums xx"
The forums are a cold,cold place lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"By the message I have just received. Thing is I know its against forum rules to "name and shame" although I wouldn't dream of mentioning their names. I'm just truly shocked! "

tell me and I will accidentally name and shame its been awhile since I've been on the naughty step

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 01/09/13 19:54:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yawn, get on with it

This is worse than those vague facebook comments ....so hurt, can't believe what I saw etc etc

how dare you!!!! They suggested I bring my a child to a social meet, no I will not get over it!!!!!"

How dare he what...until this point there was no inclination about what the message said. You made a vague post and for all he knew you could have taken offence from something others would consider a non issue, like maybe someone suggested going to a pub in an area you don't like. Agreed someone suggesting you take your child to any kind of meet is out of order but he had no idea that had been what the post was about

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I was initially in the 'shocked and appalled' group until you stated it was a social meeting.

However, if it was a social meet with nothing else intended or implied then I'm sorry, I can't see what the fuss is about."

The GALL of it all, I mean its as if shes specifically stating shes after a "Friend with benefits" how dare he suggest such a thing at a social!

moral outrage etc ring the daily mail

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 01/09/13 19:54:45]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The OP mentions on her profile that she can only meet once a month as she is a single parent, I can only imaging bringing the kids along to a social meet, which could have been in the park, ice ring etc was offered as a way of meeting that was convenient.

I would of replied by sending a msg, but single men are blocked from doing so."

Actually no, it was to a pub!!!

And I dont have single men blocked!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

cant understand the 'astonished and appauled' reaction either .. think I would have just answered the mail with a 'yes or a no' personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massive over reaction,and yes I do have children and no there is no way in hell id ever have taken them along to a social meet although we did have a couple that asked if they could bring theirs along to a social meet we had arranged,I politely declined and that was the last I spoke to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was initially in the 'shocked and appalled' group until you stated it was a social meeting.

However, if it was a social meet with nothing else intended or implied then I'm sorry, I can't see what the fuss is about."

I'm on the same page. If something else was implied them of course report block in here and I'd also report to the police. If as I said it was an innocent suggestion then I'm struggling with your reaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A message on an Internet site sent by a stranger shouldn't have this kind of effect on anyone. Block and move on, you're creating a drama out of something that needs less drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would of replied by sending a msg, but single men are blocked from doing so.

Actually no, it was to a pub!!!

And I dont have single men blocked!"

maybe I am not listed as a single man, but it says everyone of my sex is blocked.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I'm so dying to tell just to find out what others think or whether I am overreacting but I will get a forum ban if I do won't I?

It wasn't a disgusting message with any sexual content. if u dont name and shame you should be ok and nt get a bann"

The rules are "don't post private messages " ....they don't say don't post private messages as long as you don't mention names.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would of replied by sending a msg, but single men are blocked from doing so.

Actually no, it was to a pub!!!

And I dont have single men blocked!"
so a social meet in a pub? not that bad really?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If in doubt, report.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"A message on an Internet site sent by a stranger shouldn't have this kind of effect on anyone. Block and move on, you're creating a drama out of something that needs less drama"

A*** would agree with again

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