FabSwingers.com forum: vanilla meets outside of swinging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lets face it guys we are all on this site to meet people ..singles couples to have great sex to make new friends experience and try new and exciting things and scenarios.

But there is a more in depth side to things on here that seems to have been forgotten and the word "vanilla" pops up.

What has happened to just meeting for lunch for dinner a bbq a night on the town etc etc .

There seems so much emphasis on meeting up and getting straight down to it with sex on the menu rather than a good chat and a getting to know someone.

Friendships take time even in the vanilla world where taking the time to get to know someone is just as exciting as sex and savouring the build up.

I have a few friends both couples and singles I have known for years our friendship is built up on trust honesty being open and there for each other when needed both naturally and sexually and yes I know fabs isn't facebook.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

and u then find yourself with cock in hand and no action! like you said this isnt face book.

altho u will find plenty on here that only want to talk about the sex but not actually want to do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet up "vanilla" style first, always a social, drinks or bite to eat, even spent a day at a battle re-enactment recently with a friend off here, and have the vanilla veri to prove it lol.

For me, their has to be a connection/click before I can jump into bed, and can't see if that connection is there without social only meet first

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always meet up "vanilla" style first, always a social, drinks or bite to eat, even spent a day at a battle re-enactment recently with a friend off here, and have the vanilla veri to prove it lol.

For me, their has to be a connection/click before I can jump into bed, and can't see if that connection is there without social only meet first"

Couldn't have said it better...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I really don't like that word vanilla. People use fab in a way that suits them and long may it last. Lots of people genuinely want no strings attached sex, lots want a connection the only problem I can see is when people aren't honest about it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I dont want friendship with people I have sex with, I want NSA sex... if friendship does develop that is great but I will stop having sex with them and develop a longer term friendship on a different level.

The 'instashag' mentality often gets berated on here and that usually stems a persons approach to seeking a meet, rightly so on some occasions. But I want 'instasex' at times, but I only want to meet people wanting the same... therefore no one is left seeking more or being misled with my intent.

On occasion, I just want to shag someone and I don't care who it is.

But I am HONEST about it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I dont want friendship with people I have sex with, I want NSA sex... if friendship does develop that is great but I will stop having sex with them and develop a longer term friendship on a different level.

On occasion, I just want to shag someone and I don't care who it is.

But I am HONEST about it.

**On occasion, I just want to shag someone and I don't care who it is.**

John McCririck is never considered, I would have a wank

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I really don't like that word vanilla. People use fab in a way that suits them and long may it last. Lots of people genuinely want no strings attached sex, lots want a connection the only problem I can see is when people aren't honest about it."

I don't like the word vanilla either, the connotation being anything outside this lifestyle is plain and boring: condescending in my _iew.

I always meet socially before playing. I play at home so need to be comfortable with who I allow into it. The way I play, playmates need to feel comfortable with me also. I tie, gag and blindfold, must imagine how vulnerable a position that is?

I often socialise with my playmates: I've been to weddings, parties, family gatherings, dinner, the theatre, even a funeral.

That said, I have a playmate I've known for six years who I've hardly heard speak, I don't know his name, we've never had penetrative sex but he's my most enjoyable as I've not found his boundary yet, his body is mine to use as I wish.

People meet for their own hedonistic pleasure: who am I to suggest to others how they conduct their sex lives?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always meet up "vanilla" style first, always a social, drinks or bite to eat, even spent a day at a battle re-enactment recently with a friend off here, and have the vanilla veri to prove it lol.

For me, their has to be a connection/click before I can jump into bed, and can't see if that connection is there without social only meet first"

Agreed. For me the social aspect is all part and parcel of the sex. And as for vanilla we all know its the finest of the flavours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use the term non-vanilla not to describe a swinging lifestyle - for I don't swing

, but because I like kinky sex :D.

Social first

Spank me second

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