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Think we broke an unwritten rule

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By *andF_fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

Philly PA area

Is there such a thing as becoming too friendly with a play cpl? We've played a few times, but started going out just for dinner, and met each other's families (as friends).

Now that we know them, the stranger type swinger fantasy isn't there for us (toward them) anymore. We attended parties together, and each found others to play with, but the cpl still wanted to include us. We politely left the room and returned to the party to find a cpl on our own.

Has this happened to anyone, became friends and no longer want to play w/ them..... And how did you explain it w/o hurting their feelings and not loose them as a friend?????

Help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not to that extent but have been in the situation of having a social drink where it's got to the point of seeming a bit weird that we might then go upstairs.

We got over it though

We've stayed 'friends' with a couple of others but only in the context of possible future meets. I'm not sure I'd want a full on relationship in the way you've described.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If something is likely to hurt their feelings there is no way to explain it without doing that, this is where honesty comes in, don't beat about the bush just say how you feel, say you're sorry and hopefully you can all move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not done it but had it done. Still good friends with them though. At the end of the day we're all adults and this is nsa fun to add to out real lives for most people.

If the friendship is good enough simply explain no more sexual attraction but still love spending time with them and hopefully it will go well.

Mr P

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

If your 'thing' is impersonal sex with strangers, you have to explain to them that you want to stay friends, however, they no longer do it for you - not their fault (or yours) just one of those things.

Good friends that you can be honest with about swinging activities, are harder to find than a couple to shag with.

Good luck though, ain't going to be easy.

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

I don't see anyting wrong with becoming friends with fellow swingers that you have played with before. I am still friends with the first single guy I ever met via swinging 6 years ago. And we have never played again since that first time we me. Now we just catch up for a beer occasionally.

I mean we're all human, and making friends is a normal part of human interaction. If you just see them as vanilla friends now and no onger want to play, just say so.

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By *andF_fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

Philly PA area

thanks everyone. We're still rather new to this, under a year. And we've played w/ others, but this is the first couple that we keep in contact with inbetween parties. Much more experienced than us, I kindly call her my mentor.

But, the more we hang out and talk, even talk about swingers.... we are still new, meeting people, forming our own "light" relationships, and just going places to have a good time. This couple seems to be out there for awhile, and know "too much" about alot of people to where they look at the guest list to see who's attending, then decide if they want to go or not. Apparently, they know the people well enough to either create, or avoid possible drama.

We like haning out w/ them, but, the excitement isn't there anymore, and we don't want to be on their list of "this person is going, so we're not" names. but, we also are trying not to worry about that and just have fun in the lifestyle ourselves.

Part of me admires the personal strenght she has, confidence, but when we are all at dinner, and she obviously hits on the waitress serving us, I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

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