FabSwingers.com forum: Trying to arrange another meet??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do or would you guys do in this situation :

You have a meet arranged, you go online that afternoon and the people you have arranged to meet have posted another meet for that same evening. Not an accidental meet today type of thing, a full blown type meet with details.

It has happened to us twice now. The first time we just cancelled, last time we messaged and were told it was a meet for a social. Even though it was the same evening??

We think it's just rude but it seem there are people here who think it is a normal thing to do?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Its rude, plain and simple. I'm sure they would hate it if it happened to them so why they do it is beyond me.

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

Contact the people to see what's going on. Are they arranging a back up couple in case it doesn't work out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its rude, plain and simple. I'm sure they would hate it if it happened to them so why they do it is beyond me."

If that happened to me id feel they either weren't interested or were looking for back up / better offer. Either way I'd not meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would take that as a cancelation. But would message them to say we had noticed they have put up a meet and see what the response was.

Sorry to hear it has happened before x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ....We think it's just rude but it seem there are people here who think it is a normal thing to do? "

If yours was a meet with a stated intention to play, then yes it is very rude for them to look for another meet the same evening. If it was for before your meet, they should be showering, dressing etc, ready to meet you. If it was for after your meet - well, that just shows that they intend to end the meet after 1 or 2 hours, regardless of how well your meet was going (how rude!).

However, if yours wasn't a play meet (e.g. a first social meet in a pub) then it would be acceptable for them to arrange another social meet for the same evening. BUT under those circumstances, they should previously have given you a strong message that "we don't play on the first meet, so just an hour or so to see if we get along". That enables you to manage your time most effectively, as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We would take that as a cancelation. But would message them to say we had noticed they have put up a meet and see what the response was.

Sorry to hear it has happened before x "

Yes contact them and suggest its not how you do things

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By *a petite madameWoman
over a year ago

London / Essex

It's happened to me before now. As frustrating as it is I've just left them to get on with. I just think myself lucky that I didn't have the misfortune to meet them as they are obviously selfish people with no basic manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe they hoped to get a sixsome?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When did this happen? Your profile states that it was updated 2 weeks ago and states not meeting. Which is;t meant as a criticism but if it was since then it might be an explanation?

But very rude and in my opinion totally unacceptable/ I would cancel and block if we were in your position.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's happened to me before now. As frustrating as it is I've just left them to get on with. I just think myself lucky that I didn't have the misfortune to meet them as they are obviously selfish people with no basic manners. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think lots on here double book things and go for the best offer on the night.we have had a cancellation only for then to meet someone else and a veri go up .frankly I blocked them I don't believe in time wasting people.poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they should be reported its difficult enough for all concerned to arrange a meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had that happen to me had a couple mail me arranged to meet up then they mail me to say they had family problems and then found out then had done it to someone else for the same time that night

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Only ever had that happen to me once...a guy I'd already met once before cancelled our 2nd meet (that he'd asked for) cos he had to work (half hour notice) then I later noticed his brand new status was something along the lines of "home alone and horny, who fancies a meet"...blocked.

On the other hand, I had a guy from Wigan ring me with plenty of notice and cancel a meet we'd arranged because he'd heard from a local girl he'd been after for a while - absolutely no problem for me - 2 hour drive for him versus around the corner - no competition and I wasn't offended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only ever had that happen to me once...a guy I'd already met once before cancelled our 2nd meet (that he'd asked for) cos he had to work (half hour notice) then I later noticed his brand new status was something along the lines of "home alone and horny, who fancies a meet"...blocked.

bet u had a hate wank tho

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Block and move on.

Totally agree.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its rude so strike them off your list abs replace them with genuine peeps like us ! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once arranged to meet someone, they then cancelled but had the status of looking for a meet

so I didn't arrange another as guess they didn't really want to meet but were too chicken to tell me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had that happen and sent them a message and got lots of talk but no real answer so just walked away from it, always someone else on here.

They tend to ask for another meet though a few days later which i ignore. Im not that stupid lol

Obviously their grandma never taught them the saying a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

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By *1ckeyMan
over a year ago

Camberley

It's very rude, and after sneaking a peek at your pics, definately there loss!

If you already arranged things, they should do the decent thing and cancel with plenty of notice if they aren't interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pretty much what we thought then. Just rude!

Even more annoying as we had squeezed a spare evening in - as our profile says it is hard to get time at the moment for various reasons...

Ah well. Lucky escape probably!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its happened twice to o p either unlucky or naybe misinterpreting things.

As for rude not really as anyone here free to pick and choose what when and who to meet.

Frustrating yes rude not in my view. As for reporting the other party why do it because and no offence to o p but we only getting one side of story and other party may not have confirmed your meet or hesrd from you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If its happened twice to o p either unlucky or naybe misinterpreting things.

As for rude not really as anyone here free to pick and choose what when and who to meet.

Frustrating yes rude not in my view. As for reporting the other party why do it because and no offence to o p but we only getting one side of story and other party may not have confirmed

your meet or hesrd from you."
i do think its rude if a meet is set it's set so on less something really nasty has happened like sickness or bereavement we would never cancel it.when time to play s limited you book sitters ,arrange to be free make sure your house is clean and tidy get things in.so lots f preparations are done for a meet to suddenly put up for another one and not have te balls to even say you changed your mind I think is wrong and not the swinging way.well not if you want to make friends and reputations always go before people .its a very small swinging world and the major tity of couples or people treat people how they like to be treated the ones that don't we can't be bothered with .if your adult enough to arrange a meet you should be adult enough to cancel it with plenty of notice if you change your mind.poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If its happened twice to o p either unlucky or naybe misinterpreting things.

As for rude not really as anyone here free to pick and choose what when and who to meet.

Frustrating yes rude not in my view. As for reporting the other party why do it because and no offence to o p but we only getting one side of story and other party may not have confirmed

your meet or hesrd from you."
there was nothing stoping them to message to ask if the meet was still going ahead if this was the case ?surely .tht would be the good manners approach I think.as for reporting people we do.its usually the same cup,rits that spoil the fun for everyone ,poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When did this happen? Your profile states that it was updated 2 weeks ago and states not meeting. Which is;t meant as a criticism but if it was since then it might be an explanation?

But very rude and in my opinion totally unacceptable/ I would cancel and block if we were in your position."

To be fair their profile says not meeting MUCH! But a meet had been agreed and arranged regardless of what it says on the OPs profile.

Very rude and unacceptable behaviour on the other couples part. Block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only getting one side of story. Not sure if o p got explanation as to what happened from the other party.

To clarify ages ago i had meet planned but totally forgot so put meet request up the person i was to meet got arsey and if i had been asked would have explained it was simply i forgot.

Folk make mistakes if however it happens more than once then yes thats worrying but block and move on.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

I would not meet them... ever. . It is rude in my oponion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When did this happen? Your profile states that it was updated 2 weeks ago and states not meeting. Which is;t meant as a criticism but if it was since then it might be an explanation?

But very rude and in my opinion totally unacceptable/ I would cancel and block if we were in your position.

To be fair their profile says not meeting MUCH! But a meet had been agreed and arranged regardless of what it says on the OPs profile.

Very rude and unacceptable behavior on the other couples part. Block and move on

Agree 1000% with this its rude and not acceptable. If you arrange meets and are forgetful they have this new invention called a diary where you can put dates in to remind you of said events.

Its the loss also as sneaking a peek at your profile they would have enjoyed your company very much so if that had not been so stupid x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to okay devils advocate maybe they where looking for a meet before or after the meet with you, some people are greedy and want more than one meet in a day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh dear! Always some on here who have to have a go isn't there!

Its fairly simple. We arranged a play meet for the next night and the day of the meet at 2pm a meet was posted up wanting to meet for drinks and see where it goes. Now to try and squeeze drinks and maybe more into the 3 or 4 hours before we met maybe seems fine to some people but not us. And it doesn't matter what our profile says. We had arranged a meet regardless!

As for forgetting you have a meet planned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree happy sussex couple you dont forget you got a meet planned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...to try and squeeze drinks and maybe more into the 3 or 4 hours before we met maybe seems fine to some people but not us. "

Drinks at 2 pm before an evening meet seems ok to me. But "drinks and maybe more" at 2 pm before an evening meet is NOT acceptable, in my opinion. Drinks, play, home to shower and change in 3 to 4 hours is cutting it far too fine, for a mutually satisfactory meet.

And what would have happened if they had been tired/sated after their first meet? Chances are they would have cancelled you. You did right, in my opinion.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I had a guy do this. Had made firm arrangements to meet and he even had my mobile number. Posted a meet for that night - claimed it was an 'accident' though quite how when it was giving a lot of details I am not sure.

Cancelled and blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do or would you guys do in this situation :

It has happened to us twice now. The first time we just cancelled, last time we messaged and were told it was a meet for a social. Even though it was the same evening??

We think it's just rude but it seem there are people here who think it is a normal thing to do?

xx"

Same thing happened to us a while ago with a single guy. We always phone and check things are OK, so Andy rang and he asked if our meet arranged for that evening was still on. He said he would be tired as he was still working, but if we'd like to join him for a "quickie" that would be fine!!

Needless to say, I (Lynne) let him have it with both barrels by message and then quickly blocked him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only getting one side of story. Not sure if o p got explanation as to what happened from the other party.

To clarify ages ago i had meet planned but totally forgot so put meet request up the person i was to meet got arsey and if i had been asked would have explained it was simply i forgot.

Folk make mistakes if however it happens more

than once then yes thats worrying but block and move on."
soorry that's unacceptable behaviour .you should book all meets in a dietary or Callander if you have tha any toy forget !and you give singe men a bad name if you do forget .i never forget merits we arrange and we arrange many,poppyx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only getting one side of story. Not sure if o p got explanation as to what happened from the other party.

To clarify ages ago i had meet planned but totally forgot so put meet request up the person i was to meet got arsey and if i had been asked would have explained it was simply i forgot.

Folk make mistakes if however it happens more

than once then yes thats worrying but block and

move on.soorry that's unacceptable behaviour .you should book all meets in a dietary or Callander if you have tha any toy forget !and you give singe men a bad name if you do forget .i never forget merits we arrange and we arrange many,poppyx

Calender or diary. Sorry typo x

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