FabSwingers.com forum: How many chances do you give someone who cancles when arranging a meet?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just woundering how many times how many excuses do people often give others to turn up to a meet. Especially a a first?

We have had this a few times. Arrange that first meet can be a real pain you always doubt their gen until they turn up all the feedback makes then look very gen so we try to give them the benifit of the doubt and accept shit just happens. Put do you have a cut point?

Our general rule is at the moment if they had one arranged meet and then cancel the second arrangment would be their last chance we would be stupid to be leave they would turn up on the third of fourth. Even tho their reasons may be extremely genuin.

Once we meet them once and get to know their circumstances then we tend to give a bit more leeway.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"Just woundering how many times how many excuses do people often give others to turn up to a meet. Especially a a first?

Once we meet them once and get to know their circumstances then we tend to give a bit more leeway.

Two chances - everyone deserves a one off, but after 2 arranged dates now cancelled, I figure they see me as a fool that will wait for them while they "research their better offers" and cut all ties.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If they cancel then one more chance. If they stand me up, no more chances.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

Had someone cancel twice on me just for a coffee and dont think i would arrange again

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

it really depends on how much notice of cancellation they give me.....

the more notice they give me, the more I am likely to give they another change as it is not as if they are leaving me in the lurch so to speak

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

If they cancelled with enough time for me to make other arrangements one more chance.

If they cancelled at the last minute or didn't show up no more chances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they cancelled with enough time for me to make other arrangements one more chance.

If they cancelled at the last minute or didn't show up no more chances "

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

A tricky one IMO cause sometimes even genuine people cancel at the last minute. It is very annoying but i personally have stopped meeting to play at a first meet and make it social only. If we mutually decide to play after a social drink and chat then that's fine but at least you get to meet first to see they are genuine and there's no pressure to play either so hopefully they won't be scared to cancel.

I've gone a bit off topic but i'd say 2 strikes for someone i haven't met before and then i wouldn't bother trying again but someone i know and know of their personal circumstances could POSSIBLY get away with more last minute cancels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two.if its no show .no more chances .poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always gave benefit of doubt and would give second chance if it was a first meet. We had a guy cancel a social twice on us last minute. Both excuses were flimsy and both times guy had a veri from same night. First time we thought ok he got better offer good for him but second time we thought won't bother again and bloked him. We could understand a meet for fun better than social but we were meeting for social to discuss a further meet we had already arranged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it really depends on how much notice of cancellation they give me.....

the more notice they give me, the more I am likely to give they another change as it is not as if they are leaving me in the lurch so to speak"

Sometimes last minute can't be helped though. With a young family I've had to cancel last minute ... The most memorable due to vomiting from a small person. Luckily the guy was very understanding and we met a few nights later..... We've now met many times since so I'm glad there are some out there that give a second chance!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The biggest pain in the arse ive ever had with cancelling meets was someone we'd met 3 times already.......great guy but I lost all interest with the messing around and re arranging

Id give a couple of chances depending on how well I know someone and how close to the meet they cancelled,life causes mayhem sometimes and messes plans up,after that id back away and not bother again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they cancelled with enough time for me to make other arrangements one more chance.

If they cancelled at the last minute or didn't show up no more chances "

This

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

if they let me know beforehand, then one more chance.

If a no show, then no second chances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they cancel then no more chances, got far to many offers to bother with plonkers who cancel or dont turn up lol

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester

two strikes here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends who it is and the reasons why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had someone cancel twice on me just for a coffee and dont think i would arrange again

But you don't sound certain

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The biggest pain in the arse ive ever had with cancelling meets was someone we'd met 3 times already.......great guy but I lost all interest with the messing around and re arranging "

We have this to and think This is actually more frustrating than arranging new meets. Because you meet them before you try them more leeway than new meets. We have had to cut one guy of because this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt whether I'd meet someone again if they couldn't make it. I don't look on it as giving them a chance but im not one to meet many times with the same guy, my OHs work schedule makes advance meets difficult. So if someones cancelled then we accept it's unlikely we will be available when they are free and we'd message others.

Spur of the moment meets rather than diary organisation and rearranging future meets works for us

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I think 2 chances if you are acquainted enough to have swapped phone numbers, but if they won't speak on the phone and then cancel the first meet, block 'em.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on circumstances. Some once, others twice.

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

I have given up on giving people second chances. Unless I know them and have already met them before.

I just went through a spate of getting some pretty extreme excuses. Surely not that many people can have serious accidents, or end up in hospital, or catch the plague....seriously. I just give up. No more second chances from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met one guy for a coffee and between us we cancelled six times before we met again. We were both fine with it because of the circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the consensus is 2 chances - more than enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One chance only as ive had a cancellation a hour before and no request to make a new date for another meet. Harsh I know, but none of us have time to waste do we?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I met one guy for a coffee and between us we cancelled six times before we met again. We were both fine with it because of the circumstances

ahh, but you are the 'Queen of Tease' lol

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