FabSwingers.com forum: Married and playing?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've seen on several couples and single ladies profiles that they would not entertain men who are playing behind their partner's back, just as I see a few single lady profiles stating they are doing just that. So, question for the floor (and aimed especially at couples and bi ladies who state they are not wishing to meet attached men) is this: is the exclusion aimed only at men, or would you still meet a lady whose partner isn't aware that she is meeting other people for sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

Couple can decide not to be involved, some for moral reasons, some because they don't want complications and some because they've had it happen to them. On the flip side Some people don't care as it's not their place to judge another persons marriage.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No.

Cheating is deceiving.

There are NO reasons that make deception of a 'loved' one acceptable.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 27/07/13 08:30:26]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

People don't generally judge the marriage.

People do pass comment on the concept of betrayal...when asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree. People do judge the marriage because they lay all the fault with the person doing the "betrayal". Life isn't always black and white. Some feel there is no reason for it others see shades of grey.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I disagree. People do judge the marriage because they lay all the fault with the person doing the "betrayal". Life isn't always black and white. Some feel there is no reason for it others see shades of grey. "

If fault is placed on the cheater then the cheater is judged, not the marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can it not be said then that someone who goes with a married person is also judging the marriage. They are just coming to the opposite conclusion of it being ok for the person to cheat as the fault lies with the other partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do t play with attached men or women after doing so once, and his wife finding out!! Now I point blanc refuse it men or women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business. "

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

Torjames rocks!

For the OP tho ive found a few peoples reason for not playing with married men has more to do with the fact they generally work during the day.. and cant play out evenings or weekends making the logistics of meeting almost impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If fault is placed on the cheater then the cheater is judged, not the marriage. "

Except that people (and no doubt this will happen later in the thread) will tell the person cheating what they should do about their marriage and what's right and wrong in their marriage based on their own feelings and views on marriage. Not saying that's what you're doing.

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

Cheating is cheating in our honest opinion whether is the male or female half doing it. And we want no part of it.

Just our opinion. if people want or need to do it thats their business but just not with us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do t play with attached men or women after doing so once, and his wife finding out!! Now I point blanc refuse it men or women"

I've had nasty messages on here from exes getting into boyfriends' profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to be judgemental on this issue. I think those playing away and those who choose to play with them are free to make their own choice but they need to accept the consequences of their actions if it turns into drama. Even if i don't agree or condone their choices i don't believe it is my place to tell them what they should or should do in their personal life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre "

Because its easier to find fault in others than it is in the person you love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre "

Cos I guess they don't have a massive emotional tie to the other woman. They also see the other womans attitude as fuck you wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre

Because its easier to find fault in others than it is in the person you love "

love is blind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

Except the views on here are about to get to the point where that statement is not true. They will judge, they will tell you it's wrong, betrayal etc etc and that's why they don't do it. I'm not saying they shouldn't make that judgement, just try not to make it an evangelical cause

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I try not to be judgemental on this issue. I think those playing away and those who choose to play with them are free to make their own choice but they need to accept the consequences of their actions if it turns into drama. Even if i don't agree or condone their choices i don't believe it is my place to tell them what they should or should do in their personal life."

I agree with what you say but will add.......

Telling someone you don't meet with attached or married couples isn't telling them what to do, nor is it judging their marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wont meet males or females that are playing behind there partners back as we don't agree with it and dont see a situation where it is morally right to cheat on a partner that you are meant to love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

Torjames rocks!

As I replied to torjames..

Why is it if you play with a cheater you aren't judging the marriage? Are you not judging it to be ok to play with the cheater rather than judging it not to be ok to play with them?

The whole judging thing is a very warped view

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

And then you get the views where people try and make excuses as to why its ok to cheat.. It goes both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do t play with attached men or women after doing so once, and his wife finding out!! Now I point blanc refuse it men or women

I've had nasty messages on here from exes getting into boyfriends' profile"

I don't blame you for not meeting attached men after getting nasty messages x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre "

I always wondered about this too. I wouldn't be as mad at the other woman as she doesnt owe me anything unless she was a friend. My husband is the one who made a commitment to me. He would be at fault no matter how much she may have persued him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with what you say but will add.......

Telling someone you don't meet with attached or married couples isn't telling them what to do, nor is it judging their marriage.

True

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Works with males or females ....

The red mist goes up and they attack who they see as the enemy , the competition trying to take their partner.

Takes a while before they beat up the partner....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

Torjames rocks!

As I replied to torjames..

Why is it if you play with a cheater you aren't judging the marriage? Are you not judging it to be ok to play with the cheater rather than judging it not to be ok to play with them?

The whole judging thing is a very warped view"

I'd say you were making a judgement call not necessarily making a judgement about the person or people involved. The judgement call is deciding that it's none of your business if they are married or not. Not saying either way is right or wrong.

Personally I think if you partake in dogging, meeting singles, playing in clubs etc then you're likely to have played with or will play with a married person who's playing away. The irony is some of those who are most adamant that they would never because it's wrong will probably end up doing it. Marriages are complex and people surprisingly have been known to cheat in those marriages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre

And yet you ignored the answers to that people had put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question. "

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

Would I deliberately meet married people I knew to be playing away from home? The answer is, it depends on a variety of factors. But the reality is that having played in clubs the answer is yes we probably have done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck with this, married discussions tend to bring out the morally outraged and anyone with a different view ( in any way) is wrong!

For my twopence worth, people play away from home for many reasons.

Torjames rocks!

As I replied to torjames..

Why is it if you play with a cheater you aren't judging the marriage? Are you not judging it to be ok to play with the cheater rather than judging it not to be ok to play with them?

The whole judging thing is a very warped view

Those who are against it tend to have ways to try and ensure they don't play with cheaters.

There has to be some eliment of trust in everything aswell and if someone lies about their marital situation then that is completely different.

The problem is knowingly playing with a cheater

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

To me you have just completely admitted that you judge marriages cos you base the decision on certain factors.

Therefore those who choose to stay away aren't judging as they don't consider anything..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im not that desperate that i would go after a married man, i wouldnt want to get involved with one as its too complicated, i did when i was a teenager but didnt find out he was married for a few months.

if a married man contact me on here i dont mind meeting them just for sex though, i am just borrowing them for an hour or two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And yet you ignored the answers to that people had put

No just happen to be typing at the same time as everyone else

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

Thanks for another convolution.

Would you knowingly meet married cheaters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

To me you have just completely admitted that you judge marriages cos you base the decision on certain factors.

Therefore those who choose to stay away aren't judging as they don't consider anything.."

Thanks for telling me what I think.

Actually I don't judge people's marriages as the factors I'd base it on depend on things that would be mostly non related to marriage. If I was friends with their partner I wouldn't have sex with them for example. Those who stay away aren't judging perhaps, but I didn't say that, what I said was some people do judge. If you're going to tell me what I think so me the courtesy of reading what I've written.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Waiting for the "woe is me" posts on this subject. That train is never late....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

Thanks for another convolution.

Would you knowingly meet married cheaters? "

It depends on a variety of factors.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Waiting for the "woe is me" posts on this subject. That train is never late...."

You're not reading between the lines sufficiently. I think the train arrived right on time but it had a cover on it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do t play with attached men or women after doing so once, and his wife finding out!! Now I point blanc refuse it men or women

I've had nasty messages on here from exes getting into boyfriends' profile

I don't blame you for not meeting attached men after getting nasty messages x"

Well I was actually trying to point out that you never know who you are dealing with.

There are married men who are honest about what they are doing.

There are married men who just pretend they are single.

There are single guys who's exes are not over them and still pursuing them.

Any of these can cause problems

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

Thanks for another convolution.

Would you knowingly meet married cheaters?

It depends on a variety of factors. "

That goes without saying for any meet.

Would you knowingly meet with a married cheater ?

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By *yphoon1Man
over a year ago

Me and partner had a fun session with others and an openly cheating husband. Accirding to OH itdidnt end well in the long run for him as his history of swinging alone caught up with him.

Our view is that its not cheating if we are going for fun together (same room swap, although separate room swap is probably much the same thing given that im driving my OH to the swap

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

To me you have just completely admitted that you judge marriages cos you base the decision on certain factors.

Therefore those who choose to stay away aren't judging as they don't consider anything..

Thanks for telling me what I think.

I haven't told you what you think. Just going on what you have written.

So those who say cheating is wrong, causes upset are the ones judging?

Is that because there are instances where it is right? Where it won't cause upset?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

Thanks for another convolution.

Would you knowingly meet married cheaters?

It depends on a variety of factors.

That goes without saying for any meet.

Would you knowingly meet with a married cheater ?"

No idea as that situation hasn't happened yet.

However

It's none of your business who we meet or don't meet and the point I was making was that in threads like this people become highly moralistic and will tell you what's right and what's wrong and won't have it any other way. As I said right back at the start of this, life is rarely that black and white

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do t play with attached men or women after doing so once, and his wife finding out!! Now I point blanc refuse it men or women

I've had nasty messages on here from exes getting into boyfriends' profile

I don't blame you for not meeting attached men after getting nasty messages x

Well I was actually trying to point out that you never know who you are dealing with.

There are married men who are honest about what they are doing.

There are married men who just pretend they are single.

There are single guys who's exes are not over them and still pursuing them.

Any of these can cause problems"

I am married, and it's on my profile. It's upto the person if they wish to meet up or not.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

Thanks for another convolution.

Would you knowingly meet married cheaters?

It depends on a variety of factors.

That goes without saying for any meet.

Would you knowingly meet with a married cheater ?

No idea as that situation hasn't happened yet.

However

How come all I can hear is Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly or they choose not to judge so don't ask as it's not their business.

Then the same can be said the other way, that they choose not to judge so don't get involved?

The O.P asked if people would meet with attached sex seekers.

Unfortunately you ignored the question.

Thanks for pointing it out to me. My life wouldn't be complete unless I made you happy.

To me you have just completely admitted that you judge marriages cos you base the decision on certain factors.

Therefore those who choose to stay away aren't judging as they don't consider anything..

Thanks for telling me what I think.

I haven't told you what you think. Just going on what you have written.

So those who say cheating is wrong, causes upset are the ones judging?

Is that because there are instances where it is right? Where it won't cause upset? "

To the last statement I would say yes. You assume that cheating always causes upset, does it?

You haven't gone on what I've written at all because you'll know I've made it clear that I don't feel it's as clear cut in every case and as I'm not married to that person I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This is degenerating to personally insult and arguments are rarely concluded successfully that way.

Judgement takes many forms and intelligent discussion should remain above personalities.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've seen on several couples and single ladies profiles that they would not entertain men who are playing behind their partner's back, just as I see a few single lady profiles stating they are doing just that. So, question for the floor (and aimed especially at couples and bi ladies who state they are not wishing to meet attached men) is this: is the exclusion aimed only at men, or would you still meet a lady whose partner isn't aware that she is meeting other people for sex?"

We don't meet women on their own but if we did our no attached people rule would apply equally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/07/13 09:35:26]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've read every word you've written.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the stimulating replies, though we have strayed a wee bit off topic. The OP was not to call into question the morals of 'cheating' partners, but whether anyone who would not meet an attached male playing alone may still consider meeting an attached female.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Thanks for the stimulating replies, though we have strayed a wee bit off topic. The OP was not to call into question the morals of 'cheating' partners, but whether anyone who would not meet an attached male playing alone may still meet an attached female."

Yep. But as is often the case here someone gets a bit evangelistic and turns the subject into something else.

Me.? I'm not bright enough to do that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes. Neither was the op asking for anyone to champion the cause of cheating partners. This subject however will always bring out the crusaders from both sides.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Yes. Neither was the op asking for anyone to champion the cause of cheating partners. This subject however will always bring out the crusaders from both sides."

That's about the least contestable post in this thread.

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By *ittle nelWoman
over a year ago

Merseyside

personally, I don't mind if it's an attached man, I don't mind if it's an attached woman, I don't mind if their OHs know, I don't mind if their OHs don't know.....to be fair as long as every one in the room is having fun....not a lot I do mind lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Neither was the op asking for anyone to champion the cause of cheating partners. This subject however will always bring out the crusaders from both sides."

I'm assuming that was directed at me? I'm not championing anything, I'm saying (yet again) that life is rarely black and white. Certainly not crusading for those who cheat but I'm perhaps not as forthright and judgemental in my opinions about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shouldn't have suggested that grannycrumpet wasn't very bright and for that I apologise. Not big and not clever (me not her)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes. Neither was the op asking for anyone to champion the cause of cheating partners. This subject however will always bring out the crusaders from both sides.

Nope not aimed at you particularly!

I have noticed that these threads tend to polarise opinion and no one will budge from their viewpoint....stalemate!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I shouldn't have suggested that grannycrumpet wasn't very bright and for that I apologise. Not big and not clever (me not her) "

The number of attacks on old women is on the incline sadly.

I'm just not clever enough to know if its always the same old woman and she just gets about a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Neither was the op asking for anyone to champion the cause of cheating partners. This subject however will always bring out the crusaders from both sides.

Nope not aimed at you particularly!

I have noticed that these threads tend to polarise opinion and no one will budge from their viewpoint....stalemate!

OK. I agree. Threads on politics, death penalty, marriage and rather strangely on here spelling and grammar have very entrenched views. Perhaps a thread on "should death row prisoners who are functionally illiterate be allowed to swing if they're married to a politician?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reply to the op, and ill be careful how i word this for fear of attack, no we wouldnt meet any cheats be it male or female, as in our opinion it is wrong and shouldnt be thrust upon genuine swingers, but because of the nature of swinging cheats will always be here, its the process of sniffing them out that you have to get right, you can only try to get this right as if there good at lieing they have a chance of getting through.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

the way I look at it is if they dont have the respect for the person they profess to love move than any other in the world... then why should they have any more respect for you.....

people can be bold, brash and ballsy and say "the other person doesn't matter" when they an anonymous figure...

not so easy to then do if that person is a voice down the other end of the phone, and i am betting you wouldn't do it if that person was face to face.....

is it something i didn't think about when i first stated swinging... no, and to be honest when i started i did meet married people playing away...

my epithany came in the story I tell to ppl...

i went to a party organised by someone on another site, met this well liked and respected single guy and got on well with him

two days later i get frantic phone calls from a mod asking if person had been drinking at party... I said no, he was just drinking coffee as he had been driving home that night....

on the drive home, he fell asleep at the wheel... crashed, and had been killed

and then two things happened....

1) we found out he wasnt single....

2) his wife found the site.... and she decided to post

the anger and hurt in those words struck me, shock, pain, anguish!!! and it will live with me till the day I pass.... and you then realise a slightly bigger picture

so do i now play with people "playing away"... not on your life.... my experience is not the only one I have heard... physicial fights, people on doorsteps, being named in divorce papers, harranged at work, ect ect... you name it, I've heard it....

so to those saying the other person doesn't find out, or they are different because... or they think they are bulletproof from the consequences...

they do.... you aren't..... your not!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For what is worth I think meeting and having sex with married/attached people, both male and female is like anything else within a swinging lifestyle, as with bare back, meeting for the first time not in a public place, dogging and gb's you weigh up the risks, try and make an informed choice and then decide if it is what you want to do, not a lot to do with judging what is the right way for the other person to behave but more to do with personal choice and what you feel is right for you

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

if you take the moral argument out of it, those cheating or playing away are generally a pain in the arse they cancel meets at short notice will often just go offline on skype without word and tend to have limited time to play so setting the meet up is often some mammoth task.

This is not including the threat of a scorned partner turning up or getting hold of your number and blaming you. You cannot guarantee people are single but we discount those who show the signs of being a cheat or admit it for the above practical reasons.

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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago

and surrounding areas

Wouldnt meet man or woman whos playing behind there partners back its just wrong, if u have a problem in a marraige sort it out if u cant u either stay put or end it . However in a party or meet&greet suitation u never no if there married or single and its not a question u can really ask either . So tis a very hard thing to judge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think _abio and crzypeople have hit the nail right on the head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crazy-cple sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe that it is all down to personal preferences..everyone has the choice option....some choose to meet married people and others don't and everyone will have their own reasons for their choice!

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By *wingerdelightCouple
over a year ago

eastliegh

we would never meet anyone playing away, male or female, agree that its up to the person as to why they are cheating, but thats what it is, not swinging,swinging is all about honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes but if they are hiding it, then your not getting a choice are you, this is why this subject provokes such a wide variation of responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do t play with attached men or women after doing so once, and his wife finding out!! Now I point blanc refuse it men or women

I've had nasty messages on here from exes getting into boyfriends' profile

I don't blame you for not meeting attached men after getting nasty messages x

Well I was actually trying to point out that you never know who you are dealing with.

There are married men who are honest about what they are doing.

There are married men who just pretend they are single.

There are single guys who's exes are not over them and still pursuing them.

Any of these can cause problems

I am married, and it's on my profile. It's upto the person if they wish to meet up or not.

It is and it's not our place to judge. I just measure on whether it's going to cause problems for me later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is degenerating to personally insult and arguments are rarely concluded successfully that way.

Judgement takes many forms and intelligent discussion should remain above personalities."

Someone did put up a warning at the beginning or thread predicting it would go this way

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

I competely understand peoples choice who do not want to meet married people.........however what I don't get is those who have very strong opinions about this then have dogging, gang bangs and meeting at clubs in their interests........surely if you were that bothered you wouldn't participate in any of these things incase a married person slipped through the net......or do these people get thoroughly vetted before play ????

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is degenerating to personally insult and arguments are rarely concluded successfully that way.

Judgement takes many forms and intelligent discussion should remain above personalities.

Someone did put up a warning at the beginning or thread predicting it would go this way

I know and I really should know better than to get involved myself lol.

Life's rich tapestry and all that

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I competely understand peoples choice who do not want to meet married people.........however what I don't get is those who have very strong opinions about this then have dogging, gang bangs and meeting at clubs in their interests........surely if you were that bothered you wouldn't participate in any of these things incase a married person slipped through the net......or do these people get thoroughly vetted before play ????

I think the key to any situation is KNOWINGLY playing with someone who is playing away.....

I am beginning to think I must be one of the weird ones in clubs then since I always ask before I consider playing with people..... for me its part of the getting to know you phase...

you can almost break it down like this...

if I ask.. and they lie... and we play thats on them!

if I ask.. and they tell the truth, and we play with them... thats on me!

I don't want to be a complicit partof someone elses deception....

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

In my experience.

Those indulging in NSA, don't actually care as long as the person has "a big cock and knows how to fuck" all moral judgments are off except for those people who got burned previously for indulging - ie wise after the event and then moralize to everyone else.

Re Fem with another fem (without either partner knowledge- this has i.m.e. NEVER been seen as cheating by the women involved.

So its still Victorian double standards all round.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"In my experience.

Re Fem with another fem (without either partner knowledge- this has i.m.e. NEVER been seen as cheating by the women involved.

So its still Victorian double standards all round. "

never happened to witheof us and we don't moralise just choose not to intentionally meet people with current partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't meet anyone, male or female if they are attatched. Too much hassle, drama n baggage!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"In my experience.

Re Fem with another fem (without either partner knowledge- this has i.m.e. NEVER been seen as cheating by the women involved.

So its still Victorian double standards all round. "

Speak for yourself!

Married men don't meet me so I don't have to worry my pretty little head about them.

One: I do not meet anyone that doesn't accommodate: ever!

Two: shaved pubes, whip marks and a "property off Miss V" stamp on the arse will take some explaining!

No judgment...that's just how I roll!

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By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

Yes I would play with a married man or someone attached. Their personal life is just that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant wear perfume when you meet married men.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"cant wear perfume when you meet married men.

can't leave marks, can't turn mobile off, can't wear lipstick, can't play later than a certain time, can't meet anywhere they might be recognised.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner has told me she is not interested and if I want to play away I can do so just don't rub her face in it.

Its tough, I still find her incredibly sexy and beautiful and sight of her naked turns me on, but to no avail.

We get on otherwise and we have children so I do roller blading, horse riding, tae kwon do and swinging.

I suspect my choice of women or couples on here is reduced as I do not lie, my profile says it as it is. For me its not cheating.

I initially wanked often, then on two-way video chat, Skype, msn, fans. Then realised I really missed lucking pussy lots ... Hooked up on here, found FWB, visited Kestrel... Would love a weekly friend, right now its more like 6 weekly .

Judge me how you will, ...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"My partner has told me she is not interested and if I want to play away I can do so just don't rub her face in it.

Its tough, I still find her incredibly sexy and beautiful and sight of her naked turns me on, but to no avail.

We get on otherwise and we have children so I do roller blading, horse riding, tae kwon do and swinging.

I suspect my choice of women or couples on here is reduced as I do not lie, my profile says it as it is. For me its not cheating.

Judge me how you will, ... "

Why do people keep on about judging, most of us don't...not wanting to meet married people is us excercising the same choices you are given and involves no heavy moral judgement of YOUR actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My partner has told me she is not interested and if I want to play away I can do so just don't rub her face in it.

Its tough, I still find her incredibly sexy and beautiful and sight of her naked turns me on, but to no avail.

We get on otherwise and we have children so I do roller blading, horse riding, tae kwon do and swinging.

I suspect my choice of women or couples on here is reduced as I do not lie, my profile says it as it is. For me its not cheating.

Judge me how you will, ... "

I don't judge anyone, walk a mile in someone else's shoes is what I think. Everyone has their own (very different) reasons for being on here, NSA should be just that, without having to justify ourselves to others.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"walk a mile in someone else's shoes is what I think."

And then you are a mile away and have their shoes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"walk a mile in someone else's shoes is what I think.

And then you are a mile away and have their shoes

some of the shoes I like it wouldn't be posible to walk a mile in

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"My partner has told me she is not interested and if I want to play away I can do so just don't rub her face in it.

Its tough, I still find her incredibly sexy and beautiful and sight of her naked turns me on, but to no avail.

We get on otherwise and we have children so I do roller blading, horse riding, tae kwon do and swinging.

I suspect my choice of women or couples on here is reduced as I do not lie, my profile says it as it is. For me its not cheating.

Judge me how you will, ... "

I will just say though that "justifying" has the same root as "Judge"...both sides of the same coin?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"My partner has told me she is not interested and if I want to play away I can do so just don't rub her face in it.

Its tough, I still find her incredibly sexy and beautiful and sight of her naked turns me on, but to no avail.

We get on otherwise and we have children so I do roller blading, horse riding, tae kwon do and swinging.

I suspect my choice of women or couples on here is reduced as I do not lie, my profile says it as it is. For me its not cheating.

Judge me how you will, ... "

I don't see it as judging so much as wanting no strings. Like it or not if a guy is in a relationship there are likely to be strings. Maybe in your case not so but how many guys say the same thing and are telling lies?

I think the original question in this thread was what is the difference if a woman is playing away? Maybe it's because if a guy finds out his wife is at it he blames her, if a woman finds out they blame the other party.

Who wants some bunny boiler ringing up or, worse, knocking at the door.

In the end it's a numbers game, if you assume that any men who can't accommodate are in a relationship and avoid those for the most part then you are cutting down the chances of getting grief.

It still leaves plenty of choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd meet a married lady playing away .. It's not my fault she's playing away games and I am in no place to judge them there life there partner as its none of my buisness aslong as I don't hear about all they why's and a sob story or drama lol

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By *ondering_yorkshiremanMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near NE Derbyshire/S Yorkshire/Nottinghamshire border

I see wat the OP is saying, on couples and female (Inc bi fem) you only generally see comments along the lines of 'no married/attached men' But nothing about married attached females.

However, I'm starting to see more attached females playing single, who are only looking for attached guys as there is less chance of them getting too involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wouldnt meet guy or girl playing away just makes my skin crawl thinking of the poor guy or girl sitting at home clueless while they are out sleezing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't even go there. Cheating is cheating. If the person cheating doesn't have morals, I certainly do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would we want to meet someone cheating - they are just nasty

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By *ixmaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 29/07/13 07:39:12]

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By *ixmaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Let's be realistic most people if they are swinging but playing away they won't admit it on their profile so I suspect a lot of couples and single men and women have been hood winked and unbeknown to them have played with an attached person.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"cant wear perfume when you meet married men.

When I first started meeting off the internet I didn't ask about marital status as I naively thought the men were single

until I got asked not to wear perfume and one man bought me the bespoke perfume and soap his wife wore!!!

As I've said, no judgment, just don't meet the bastards!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"My partner has told me she is not interested and if I want to play away I can do so just don't rub her face in it.

Its tough, I still find her incredibly sexy and beautiful and sight of her naked turns me on, but to no avail.

We get on otherwise and we have children so I do roller blading, horse riding, tae kwon do and swinging.

I suspect my choice of women or couples on here is reduced as I do not lie, my profile says it as it is. For me its not cheating.

Judge me how you will, ...

Why do people keep on about judging, most of us don't...not wanting to meet married people is us excercising the same choices you are given and involves no heavy moral judgement of YOUR actions. "

Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female"

Ah but if they don't tell you they are married, how would you know

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

I know op isnt moaning about no one wanting to meet marrieds which makes a nice change.. but i dont get the ones that do.. there are sites on net dedicated to nothing but extra marital fun.. so why do the ones that moan about it on this swingers site not just join a site for their situation. it would then give them less stress in moaning about no one liking what they do or wanting to meet them.

Maybe thats an idea for an additional fab site, then the only people on it would be happy with the scenario so no need to moan about it.. just a thought.

Again not really aimed at op as there was no moaning there just a question asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre "
Just my opinion and I know it's wrong to think like this but it's because I expect more from a woman morally than i do a man. I know shoot me down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wont meet anyone either male or female who isnt completly single. This is because in the past when meeting men who werent single, iv had hassle from their wives when they have found out and its just a pain, thats why we state that on our profile

We dont meet fems at all but if we did it would be the same rule, just makes life easier and calmer

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

no matter the gender to me I still wouldn't meet a cheat .cant be arsed with the deceit ,clock watching, military manoeuvres to plan a meet and the potential shit storm when their partners finds out .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female

Ah but if they don't tell you they are married, how would you know"

Generally by whether or not they accomadate or if they do accomadate do they limit the day and times, also if they are able to meet easily and arnt limited time wise then usualy they are single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

Cheating is cheating in our honest opinion whether is the male or female half doing it. And we want no part of it.

Just our opinion. if people want or need to do it thats their business but just not with us."

my thought exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im married, its on my profile. Im cheating and yes he doesn't know. Its a case of I would like some social time with a guy, talking about anything, also sex as that has been non-existent for years. Im honest about it, I don't see how 2 married people on here can meet up - you couldn't both be available at the same time surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know op isnt moaning about no one wanting to meet marrieds which makes a nice change.. but i dont get the ones that do.. there are sites on net dedicated to nothing but extra marital fun.. so why do the ones that moan about it on this swingers site not just join a site for their situation. it would then give them less stress in moaning about no one liking what they do or wanting to meet them.

Maybe thats an idea for an additional fab site, then the only people on it would be happy with the scenario so no need to moan about it.. just a thought.

Again not really aimed at op as there was no moaning there just a question asked"

i have said this on many of the threads on married men subject, but everytime i have been shot down and tore apart, but this the simple fact, this is a swinging site, there are sites out there for extra marital affairs (cheating) so if your gonna use a site for something its not meant for then its gonna be hard.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female

Ah but if they don't tell you they are married, how would you know"

Can't accommodate.

Office hour meets only.

Mobile switched off 6pm to 8am.

No marking.

No perfume.

Forensic inspection including Luminol for any trace evidence wife might discover.

...to name but a few!

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

We would never meet any people (couples can just be fuck buddies and cheating!) if we weren't sure they were in a proper relationship. I know we can't be 100% sure, but we can do "all the checks"!

We are social in the scene and don't just meet for a quick shag! We are lucky enough to have many friends we have met and played with who are still mates over ten years down the line.. Although we could be hoodwinked, I am quite sure at this point, we have not played with cheaters..

Nicecouple561 have it just about right in our opinion, as well as having a great profile and pics.

Granny-Crumpet as ever, very nicely put and oh-so right x

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

Now that has always confused me. It's almost like saying the bloke didn't have a choice. That is bizarre Just my opinion and I know it's wrong to think like this but it's because I expect more from a woman morally than i do a man. I know shoot me down

Wow.....what an odd opinion........I do hope there are others like me that would 100% blame the cheating partner, I mean let's face it, its not like the poor baby is incapable of saying NO, even if a woman was offering it on a plate, I expect much more than than from someone I'm with.........no second chances here .............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

A"
I didn't for one second say that i wouldn't blame my partner too as I very much did when it happened to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

AI didn't for one second say that i wouldn't blame my partner too as I very much did when it happened to me. "
...... But the point I was trying to make was that I was more hurt by her betrayal of me than his... Like I did say it's my opinion and it's what these forums are for so "odd" maybe but it is fab after all

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Just a question to those who would have no problem meeting people who are cheating because it is not your problem..

How would your opinion change if after doing that, your other half played behind your back because they thought it would be OK?

That question is not "Would they do it" but what if they did!

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

AI didn't for one second say that i wouldn't blame my partner too as I very much did when it happened to me. ...... But the point I was trying to make was that I was more hurt by her betrayal of me than his... Like I did say it's my opinion and it's what these forums are for so "odd" maybe but it is fab after all "

I personally would not feel betrayed by a random stranger........betrayal would only come into with me if it were a friend of family member who a partner had had an affair with.

Blame for me would be down to only 2 people, one my other half for not keeping it in his pants, and 2 me, because what is lacking/missing in our relationship for him to want to do that.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female

Ah but if they don't tell you they are married, how would you know

Can't accommodate.

Office hour meets only.

Mobile switched off 6pm to 8am.

No marking.

No perfume.

Forensic inspection including Luminol for any trace evidence wife might discover.

...to name but a few! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

I personally would not feel betrayed by a random stranger........betrayal would only come into with me if it were a friend of family member who a partner had had an affair with.

Blame for me would be down to only 2 people, one my other half for not keeping it in his pants, and 2 me, because what is lacking/missing in our relationship for him to want to do that."
... Well you must be right then. I'll go and sit in a corner and think about how next time I must make sure I give my man everything in the world he needs always.. Because that must be why he cheated!

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By *arry50Man
over a year ago

northern jersey

Why should down a man for wanting more than he is getting at home. Cheating is cheating when u laid down with other person anyway. Even if u spouse knows. Are u do it together. We have to be careful because we don't know what go on in his household. Maybe the wife is not sexual no more so what a man do. How many times a man can jerk before wanting the real thing.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Why should down a man for wanting more than he is getting at home. Cheating is cheating when u laid down with other person anyway. Even if u spouse knows. Are u do it together. We have to be careful because we don't know what go on in his household. Maybe the wife is not sexual no more so what a man do. How many times a man can jerk before wanting the real thing."

Good god!! Cheating is doing something without the knowledge of others.. Such as cheating at cards.. If I have five extra aces and no one knows, that is cheating. If the others know and accept it, that is NOT cheating!!

My wife and I do this together and we are both present in the same room and both playing with others.. That is NOT cheating!

I don't care what happens in others lives as long as we are not involved. If a guy or gal can't work on the relationship and have to shag others, so be it. Just don't call it swinging!! It is cheating!! The same as if they picked up someone in a pub or club. Or is picking up people in a pub/club now called swinging?

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

I personally would not feel betrayed by a random stranger........betrayal would only come into with me if it were a friend of family member who a partner had had an affair with.

Blame for me would be down to only 2 people, one my other half for not keeping it in his pants, and 2 me, because what is lacking/missing in our relationship for him to want to do that.... Well you must be right then. I'll go and sit in a corner and think about how next time I must make sure I give my man everything in the world he needs always.. Because that must be why he cheated! "

Blimey, sounds like something a bitter person would say!!!

I didn't say at all that's how it is for every one, just for me "personally"

I was giving an opinion on how I see things.

But the fact of the matter is people cheat when there are problems in the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife was left paralyzed after an accident 5 years ago i look after her now and i dont mind at all because i love her with all my heart but it has been five years since i had sex and the last 12 months i think about it a lot when it comes to diy (not jobs arround the house) i would win a gold medal

However the feelings i have to be intimate with a woman again are very strong so after a freind recomended fab to me i joined ,since joining this is the third thread i have read about maried men and these are a few things i have picked up from this thread and the other two ,

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

I must add not all on here think like that thankfully but it has lead me to the conclusion that my freind was way off the mark in recomending this site but he was only trying to help so i will let him off ,

Having said all that i have enjoyed chatting to some very nice ladies and enjoyed reading the threads beleive it or not lol so i will just plod on as i am untill i find a more suitable site for people like me or i lose the urge for sex either way im happy

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

i blame the other woman for my hubby cheating she knew he was married but never

told him to get lost ,she was someone we had met thru swinging so that has made it worse for me and what kills me is my hubby

had sex with me so he was getting plenty at home.so that's what has destroyed me she was supposed to be my friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i blame the other woman for my hubby cheating she knew he was married but never

told him to get lost ,she was someone we had met thru swinging so that has made it worse for me and what kills me is my hubby

had sex with me so he was getting plenty at home.so that's what destroyed me she was supposed to be my friend."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife was left paralyzed after an accident 5 years ago i look after her now and i dont mind at all because i love her with all my heart but it has been five years since i had sex and the last 12 months i think about it a lot when it comes to diy (not jobs arround the house) i would win a gold medal

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

"
People are always happy to judge until it happens to them.. You do what's right for you and ignore the peoe who make judgments about you abd your circumstances x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is it that the wife of the cheating partner often puts most of the blame on the other woman?

I personally would not feel betrayed by a random stranger........betrayal would only come into with me if it were a friend of family member who a partner had had an affair with.

Blimey, sounds like something a bitter person would say!!!

I didn't say at all that's how it is for every one, just for me "personally"

I was giving an opinion on how I see things.

But the fact of the matter is people cheat when there are problems in the relationship."
Bitter ? no not me i taste good .I'd offer you a lick but somehow im thinking that you would decline

Mwah

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

"We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female"

This, not into fb's either. It works best for us with those in strong relationships or marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

People are always happy to judge until it happens to them.. You do what's right for you and ignore the peoe who make judgments about you abd your circumstances x"

Thank you and i intend to

and they dont bother me realy i normaly just ignore them but somtimes im in the mood for a fight lol

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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago

belfast

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"We wouldnt meet one half of a couple whether married or not even if they have permission from their OH to play.

Thats goes for male and female"

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

I don't have those opinions of you, it doesn't affect us at all. If you feel comfortable going behind her back and being "intimate" with others, your call.. Just one thing though. You are caring for your wife and you love her "with all your heart" and you have to be commended for that.

What if she found out what you were doing? What if someone told her that you were on a swingers site? Don't you think that would destroy her? I know that if my wife cheated on me, I would be devastated.. Just my thoughts, but you are the one that has to live with the consequences of your actions...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

People are always happy to judge until it happens to them.. You do what's right for you and ignore the peoe who make judgments about you abd your circumstances x

Thank you and i intend to

and they dont bother me realy i normaly just ignore them but somtimes im in the mood for a fight lol"
me too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

I know what your saying and yes it would destroy her and i could never forgive myself for it and deep down maybe that has been holding me back its been five years this may only be a phase im going through we shall see

Thanx for you comments and i wish you well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However the feelings i have to be

intimate with a woman again are very strong so after a freind recomended fab to me i joined ,since joining this is the third thread i have read about maried men and these are a few things i have picked up from this thread and the other two ,

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

People are always happy to judge until it happens to them.. You do what's right for you and ignore the peoe who make judgments about you abd your circumstances x

Thank you and i intend to

and they dont bother me realy i normaly just ignore them but somtimes im in the mood for a fight lolme too lol

Lol im blaming the heat

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"I know what your saying and yes it would destroy her and i could never forgive myself for it and deep down maybe that has been holding me back its been five years this may only be a phase im going through we shall see

Thanx for you comments and i wish you well "

It may be a phase and it may well pass, but I also get the impression that you have the worry about your wife finding out. Only you can make the decision to jump either way and to be honest, I wouldn't like to make that choice.

As I said in my previous post, I would not call you for anything you are doing or may do. I have no understanding of how it would be to be in your position, I just know the hurt it can cause if found out. I do perhaps see your situation as wildly different to guys and gals on here who are just wanting to shag around.

Best of luck to you, I hope it works for all concerned. x

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By *eorge439Man
over a year ago

NEWTON-LE-WILLOWS

hi ,interesting reading about this subject,i personal is in a situation that my wife has had a stroke ,its took the left side and she cant do anything,yes i am on this site because i meaning me still get aroused even at my age ,i think u still have to have pleasure ,my box is not ticked left blank ,but i am truthful and honest and will tell them my situation hoping that they understand,there's probably other reasons people have ,personally i dont want to put on my profile , [ wifes had a stroke ] if this makes sense to u thanks thanks

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"i blame the other woman for my hubby cheating she knew he was married but never

told him to get lost ,she was someone we had met thru swinging so that has made it worse for me and what kills me is my hubby

had sex with me so he was getting plenty at home.so that's what has destroyed me she was supposed to be my friend."

So your husband didn't know he was married then. Cheated spouses blame others as they desperately want to keep their family together but are rightly angry but don't want to rock the boat.

The only answer I can come up with as the blame would be 100% my husband as he's the one I have the "contract" with. Some faceless woman owes me nothing!

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By *arry50Man
over a year ago

northern jersey

Married peoples seem to come up explaining there position in they home. My wife not interested in sex anymore. I hear my husband don't touch me anymore. It could be medical reasons. And just want more sex. If u choose to be with somebody that married so be it. Is it the swinging life style. Married couples with other married couples.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Just a question to those who would have no problem meeting people who are cheating because it is not your problem..

How would your opinion change if after doing that, your other half played behind your back because they thought it would be OK?

That question is not "Would they do it" but what if they did!"

as soon as I saw you put this up I was absolutely betting no one would answer it.... because it brings the subject way too close to home... and is not part of the script of those playing away

its much easier to be blaise when its somebody you don't know...

in the harsh reality that is "real life" I am betting most would lie early and often to get themselves out of the spot if the person was ever in front of them....

I am still waiting to see the person who would actually say "not my problem" to someone face to face.... it wouldn't be pretty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The need for sex is a powerful force and I suspect the intimacy that goes with it, the interaction and closeness in a physical way and I can see how someone would miss those things desperately. I find the justification hard to stomach and the disrespect to the partner shown by posting his or her lack of ability or desire to engage in the above very sad but what is the most disrespectful in my eyes is the publication for thousands to see of photos of the attached fab member engaged in sexual activity with another person and verifications saying what a marvellous person they are.

Life is rough on us all and we deal with it the best way we can, sexual infidelity is as old as marriage but rubbing sometimes nose in it for strangers on an internet swinging site to see is no way to conduct yourself or treat someone you love your life with.

So while I acknowledge that life doesn't only come in black or white and have lived long enough to judge not lest I be judged I know I would find the sexual infidelity the least of the betrayals.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just a question to those who would have no problem meeting people who are cheating because it is not your problem..

How would your opinion change if after doing that, your other half played behind your back because they thought it would be OK?

That question is not "Would they do it" but what if they did!

as soon as I saw you put this up I was absolutely betting no one would answer it.... because it brings the subject way too close to home... and is not part of the script of those playing away

its much easier to be blaise when its somebody you don't know...

in the harsh reality that is "real life" I am betting most would lie early and often to get themselves out of the spot if the person was ever in front of them....

I am still waiting to see the person who would actually say "not my problem" to someone face to face.... it wouldn't be pretty"

I made a similar comment on another thread the other day. A couple posted they didn't care if the people they met were playing away as they found it exciting and they were happy in their relationship.

I said that's ok then and awaited their "no longer a couple as caught other half cheating" thread.

Funny, they didn't respond!

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

Why not swing with her? Just a question?

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By *ondonpride69Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

I don't think your situation should be classed as cheating and I'm sure given the choice would have your wife back to health . No matter how much you love someone when your a carer to live without the physical side is hard and shouldn't be looked down on for wanting to find it.

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

VERY VERY TRUE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

If there partner isn't aware they are having sex with other people then it is still cheating

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By *ondonpride69Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

If there partner isn't aware they are having sex with other people then it is still cheating"

My wife wrote our last reply, I will write this reply.

Yep cheating is cheating. However, I hope no one else on this site has to care for a disabled partner. Your dilemma is truly sad. Have you thought about talking to her about it, I know you will probably say that she would feel guilty, that she has put you in this situation. Whatever you choose to do I wish you luck fella. A lot of men wouldn't have been able to cope and would of just walked away. Sometimes us people that judge really don't know how lucky we are. Best of luck. Tony.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However the feelings i have to be intimate with a woman again are very

strong so after a freind recomended fab to me i joined ,since joining this is the third thread i have read about maried men and these are a few things i have picked up from this thread and the

other two ,

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

If there partner isn't aware they are having sex with other people then it is still cheating

My wife wrote our last reply, I will write this reply.

Thanx i never wanted to put my situation up on here but i was in a mood when i did lol im fine now and have decided to take up golf or fishing not quite settled on which one yet but i think either one will be less hassle i may start a new thread on which one

Im not leaving fab yet because im tight with money and i have paid up until the end of next month

but i wont be meeting anyone i will just enjoy the forums

Thank you again for your comments and best of luck to you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After all this

Has anyone changed their mind on the subject?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/07/13 17:10:04]

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I should leave her.

Im a bastard.

I make peoples skin crawl.

Im imoral.

I could go onbut you get the idea lol.

If there partner isn't aware they are having sex with other people then it is still cheating

My wife wrote our last reply, I will write this reply.

Afraid cheating is cheating but that's no business of ours.

Just to clarify our pro comments we're regards the issue regards the situation you find yourself in caring for a close loved one. Talk to her, you might be surprised.

Don't either be scared or overwhelmed I'm sure they're are organizations/Charities (connected with your Wife's disability) that can provide both of you with counselling and support should you wish.

Good luck to you both as a couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may find she already knows or at least strongly suspects about your sex life outside of your marriage. She might just see it as only YOUR business, as she knows you need intimacy and she cannot provide it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How refreshing to see a man like this, living in a very difficult situation, and having thoughts of cheating for his own sexual pleasure, but actually thinking things through and deciding to do the right thing in the end, good on you sir and i wish you all the best.

Really puts to shame all the cheats on here that arent surrounded by a situation like his, and shows you what love actually means.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"How refreshing to see a man like this, living in a very difficult situation, and having thoughts of cheating for his own sexual pleasure, but actually thinking things through and deciding to do the right thing in the end, good on you sir and i wish you all the best.

Really puts to shame all the cheats on here that arent surrounded by a situation like his, and shows you what love actually means."

This site is possibly not the first place I'd be looking for advocates of chastity......

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Really puts to shame all the cheats on here that arent surrounded by a situation like his, and shows you what love actually means.

This site is possibly not the first place I'd be looking for advocates of chastity......"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Really puts to shame all the cheats on here that arent surrounded by a situation like his, and shows you what love actually means.

This site is possibly not the first place I'd be looking for advocates of chastity......

but it doesn't fit the narrative that the married people playing away want to spin

they are the victim....

the justifications, the sympathy, telling tales of woe...

in fact, by being here they are actually being really selfless, because it saves what they have... obviously they dont "want" to be here, its a choice they dont have!!!

my my... what troopers... I am thinking of giving them medals myself....

see.. that is what they want to portray and if they keep saying it them themselves they will say it enough that they believe it......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as there 18 and over with a pulse i dont see an issue

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By *ondonpride69Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

If I was ever in a wheelchair I would rather Cleo find something else on here and not know about it and come back to me, than find someone else and leave me for them.

That makes me selfish as I would want to keep her, but we all have needs. See, selfishness comes in all shapes and forms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really puts to shame all the cheats on here that arent surrounded by a situation like his, and shows you what love actually means.

This site is possibly not the first place I'd be looking for advocates of chastity......"

where did i say it was then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im confused now

Am i getting a medal or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we will never meet and or play with anyone male or female who is playing without there partner.

this includes one of a couple that we have played with before and or one of a couple from this site or others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very easy to tell other people what they should do and how they should behave and it would be wonderful to have such a perfect relationship and life that some people claim they have. Personally I'm not cheating and I've not knowingly met cheating partners recently although Im sure i have. However, I think I balk at the hypocrisy of people who are fervently opposed to it, yet go dogging and meet singles in clubs and then say they do checks. If they can fool their partners they can fool you as well.

Reality is that we all have flaws and telling others how to fix theirs is often a good way of disguising our own problems. Also I sort of feel that those most fervently opposed commonly have something to hide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cant see anyone really telling anyone how to behave, just people commenting there own views on whats been said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite a few of the posts have done exactly that. They've told people what they should do. I have no issue with those who don't want to meet People who are married, but there is a sanctimonious approach to this sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/13 14:08:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder how many people are realy a bit bored with having sex with their partners and are partly relieved they are doing it with someone else so they dont have too, just as long as they dont have to hear or think about it.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Same applies to both sexes for us. x

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By *oger ThatMan
over a year ago

essex

Married men are best!!!! no strings, pure discretion and trust. If your 40 and not attached there's probably something wrong with you!

As they say, "All the best ones are taken....enjoy those that give back!"

Just my opinion not judging anyone!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I wonder how many people are realy a bit bored with having sex with their partners and are partly relieved they are doing it with someone else so they dont have too, just as long as they dont have to hear or think about it.

If every sexual need was being met by partners I doubt any couple would be here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If every sexual need was being met by partners I doubt any couple would be here. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quite a few of the posts have done exactly that. They've told people what they should do. I have no issue with those who don't want to meet People who are married, but there is a sanctimonious approach to this sometimes. "

i just must not be able to see it, and i wouldnt concern myself with others approach, if you dont like what people say or do just pass them by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just must not be able to see it, and i wouldnt concern myself with others approach, if you dont like what people say or do just pass them by.

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