FabSwingers.com forum: Something i noticed this week.....

By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Yes...its linked to everyone's favourite subject...verifications. But hear me out.

Ever since the verification summary thing went live, i've noticed that a common complaint from those that choose not to display it stemming from the ACTUAL number of veris it shows they have. Which is fine...to a point.

On the flipside, i've also seen people driving this on by stating how a large number of verifications would put them off meeting someone. Again, each to their own right? Except, some of the very same people are quick to attack those who may have been on this site for a loooong period of time and display or have a small number of verifications.

The above seems very hypocritical to me. In fact, i find the whole "number of verifications" issue to be nonsensical. I don't know about you all, but if i saw a profile that had a lot of verifications (excluding webcam veris), the first thought i have is that the profile owner is having a lot of fun, and is seemingly genuine.

I understand that some people value quality over quantity, but i don't think that those who choose to display a large number of verifications on their profiles should be discriminated against in such a manner. It just seems like an extension of slut shaming.

Phew...feel free to leave your thoughts, i'd be interested in them, especially if you think i'm totally off the mark with the issue above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's really a long thread .in summary what is your question ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's really a long thread .in summary what is your question ???"

I was just about to ask lol as cor Blimey what a big un A!

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"That's really a long thread .in summary what is your question ???

I was just about to ask lol as cor Blimey what a big un A!

Still waiting for my Angel Delight and Cranberry juice.

Question effectively was.....why is profile displaying a large number of meet verifications a bad thing (as highlighted by the number of people choosing not to show the summary thing because of the number, etc etc)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I'm not showing the summary, mainly because I already show selected highlights of my verifications (or at least the ones collected in the last year). Veris are personal to each - some will display them all, some won't display any, and some display the ones they want to. And still people complain about them!

I've said it before - anyone who ever comments on the number of veris I have go onto a list of 'people I won't be meeting'. If they think a single woman with a healthy sex drive is an aberration on a swinging site then that's their prerogative. But when they post on the forums that so and so must be a slut because they shag a lot then I do have to wonder. Are they motivated by some kind of prudishness? Or is it jealousy?

Just one of those things that people will never agree on I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I published mine then removed it after thinking about it. I have some of my recent verfications published to give people an idea of what I am like.

I don't think having the whole summary is necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you, as some may just be people met at clubs etc

I like the new feature as some of mine have left the site or set up new profiles. As I had a 2 year break myself, it shows you met people.

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"If they think a single woman with a healthy sex drive is an aberration on a swinging site then that's their prerogative. But when they post on the forums that so and so must be a slut because they shag a lot then I do have to wonder. Are they motivated by some kind of prudishness? Or is it jealousy?"

This - is pretty much the crux of it for me. It seems heavily directed at female members of the site. Usually (sad to say) by other female members. Hence the slut shaming remark.

Seems odd to me. Especially on a site where we cry out for more tools to out fakes and "timewasters"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personnally tend to stay away from people with a ton of meets .why?? Just because I found they are usually too busy so hard to meet .

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I personnally tend to stay away from people with a ton of meets .why?? Just because I found they are usually too busy so hard to meet ."

I get the impression that they are more likely to be able to make time to meet, and usually at shorter notice too. At least...in my experience.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I personnally tend to stay away from people with a ton of meets .why?? Just because I found they are usually too busy so hard to meet .

I get the impression that they are more likely to be able to make time to meet, and usually at shorter notice too. At least...in my experience."

Not as fussy either.

(joking by the way!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've displayed mine on my profile and all my veris too, although I have lost one as someone left the site.

I don't meet many or often and I have been questioned about it, so I decided to show it. Not that I'm answerable to anyone but it proves I was honest all along

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I personnally tend to stay away from people with a ton of meets .why?? Just because I found they are usually too busy so hard to meet .

I get the impression that they are more likely to be able to make time to meet, and usually at shorter notice too. At least...in my experience.

Not as fussy either.

(joking by the way!!)"

probably right, haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care if people think that I never meet or that I meet hundreds. I don't show my veri's or summary because I don't want to. Nothing more exciting than that.

If people have an issue with me not showing them we wouldn't get on anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also published mine then removed it after thinking about it as I already have most of my verifications showing, what was the point in listing both. Plus it was a bit of a shock when I saw how many and it reminded me of the new guy I was chatting to who didn't want to meet anyone with a long list of verifications and he implied that the person he was looking for would only see him no-one else

right so he is on a swinging site for what????? And he had actually received abuse from some of those women because he wouldn't meet them

Think I will stick to the present system, worked perfectly fine and I don't see the point in the new one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's really a long thread .in summary what is your question ???"

In brief... do a lot of verifications make you a sleaze or is it a sign you're enjoying yourself? I think that's what he means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"he implied that the person he was looking for would only see him no-one else

right so he is on a swinging site for what????? "

Surprising to me how many come on saying that. Is it just a ploy? I guess it all goes down to helping choosing who to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own with whether they display it...had no effect on me what others do with their profile and whilst I do look to veris as an indication someone is genuine I don't rely on them and have often met unverified guys and given them their green tick.

I do however get what you're saying with regards to some not showing due to fears of what others will think of their meeting habits. I will have met more than shows on my summary as I can think of at least 10 guys that never verified me without any effort so there will be more than that...but I feel no shame for my meets. As for the 'quality over quantity' bullshit some spout...I have had a great quantity of quality meets, why should the number of people I have had sex with imply a lack of quality? I am not desperate and I am quite picky despite what some may think when they see my numbers. I do have some regular meets but I enjoy the buzz of a new meet too so I'll continue to be a slut and fully enjoy it...those who don't like it are welcome to move along!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This - is pretty much the crux of it for

me. It seems heavily directed at female members of the site. Usually (sad to say) by other female members. Hence the slut shaming remark.

Seems odd to me. Especially on a site where we cry out for more tools to out fakes and

"timewasters""

I agree with this too. It certainly is aimed mainly at women and I think it's down to envy.

We've been on this scene for 3 years, go to lots of different clubs and attend parties. We've met loads of people and have veris. It shows were quite social people and we get on well with people.

I never feel that my veris are detrimental, so there may be people who are put off by us, it's hardly going to bother us is it when we have regular invites to parties as well as having the ability to go to any club in the country on a Saturday night

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