FabSwingers.com forum: Pubs for swingers

By *eordies OP Couple
over a year ago

newcastle

Seems to be a lot of pubs advertising in the "events" section, saying that they are holding swingers nights. Either in a seperate room or in the whole pub.

Is this because the general pub trade is in dire straits or have a lot of pub owners suddenly become swingers?

Never used to see this a few years ago. Not sure if its a good idea or not,..... because the venue is publised, there is no playing on the premises and you obviously have to pay pub prices for the drinks.

What are other peoples thoughts on this??

John & Shel

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

" Seems to be a lot of pubs advertising in the "events" section, saying that they are holding swingers nights. Either in a seperate room or in the whole pub.

Is this because the general pub trade is in dire straits or have a lot of pub owners suddenly become swingers?

What are other peoples thoughts on this??

John & Shel"

Money.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Don't knock it till you tried it

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

Its all about money

They wouldn't do it else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not all about the money at all.

For me and kev we held our first social at our pub because we found it difficult to get to other socials because of the pub, so we thought right, bring the socials to us.

As a result of the first social we had some people return and use the pub on weekends. The rest we say, is history.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

and you give away the beer from free?

No I think not!

I dont disbelieve you and your reasons at all and I know a lot that visit your pub and I trust their opinion and its all good and I know you are good decent honest folk.

But if they spent no cash, you would not ask them back I doubt

I go to chams

I take my own wine in fron asda.

do you let your friends bring their own?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"and you give away the beer from free?

No I think not!

I dont disbelieve you and your reasons at all and I know a lot that visit your pub and I trust their opinion and its all good and I know you are good decent honest folk.

But if they spent no cash, you would not ask them back I doubt

I go to chams

I take my own wine in fron asda.

do you let your friends bring their own?"

oooh... how to answer this.....I got accused of making it personal last time this topic came up....

lets see how many people I upset this time.... only joking....

I am sure it is not all about the money, however at this time with a recession I am sure the "extra custom" does help those people make these decisions......

and before "people" get annoyed, I was answering the OP question....

I suppose it can be seen as a "niche" in the market by some people.... like all the mock irish pubs... or the ones where they have no music.... or even the pubs that serve real ale to the "beardies"

it is interesting because I can see how the pubs could attract people who are in any scene, or those curious to a scene, or those who just want a perv or gawp at others.... it can be a very fine line trodden.....

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

" Seems to be a lot of pubs advertising in the "events" section, saying that they are holding swingers nights. Either in a seperate room or in the whole pub.

Is this because the general pub trade is in dire straits or have a lot of pub owners suddenly become swingers?

What are other peoples thoughts on this??

John & Shel"

I think it's a great idea - if you're worried about any aspect of it then don't go! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it’s a great idea, if it was just about the money they would be offering the pub to be booked for socials, and charge for the privelage, just like any venue does, not just invite them along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would go to a social where the pub was closed to the general (vanilla) public but not a mixed night.

I tried one once and we were all stuck in the corner whilst the locals discussed us at the bar, you could see the group mentality taking over at the bar a lot of laughing and gesturing, it was like being at the zoo with them gawping and leching.

As for those who do it host them making money out of it, of course they do, we all make money when we go to work.

There are only two reasons why people organise parties or host events in thier pubs, to meet people or to make money, we don't see anything wrong with that.

I don't think they should be charging club rates since they dont have the same facilities, playrooms, jacuzzi, sauna, steam room, erotic cinema to name but a few but they are great places to get to know people and make the first steps in the scene and if all they are making is the bar profits we cant see anything wrong with it.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

The Cardiff socials are held in a pub/club, we have the upper floor with a bar, names are taken in advance and there is a list on the two doors, anyone not on the list doesnt get in.

its a great night, but we have been to socials held in pubs where we have mixed with the "vanilla" punters, and usually they get to know about our collective "hobby" which leads to a lot of ogling and sniggering which can be a little of-putting. Given a choice I would rather the "seperate room" option.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

We have been to socials in pubs where part of the pub has been used for the social but it has'nt been entirely private,and those that have been held in a private function room where it has been used as a private party,we were at one on saturday,free entry,free buffet and free disco with the owners fully aware it was a swinging party

I think its a great idea,the room was filled to the brim,it gave a chance for lots of people to mix and meet with new people and have a great night out

Plus it must have been financially worth the trouble for the pub owners and in this day and age with pubs closing down every week I can see the benefits

Its been said before that if you don,t like the idea you don't have to go

Lots of people (not us) find the idea of clubs scary so its a chance to meet other swingers in a relaxed and purely social environment

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I notice that the OP's pics seem to have been taken in a pub? Sour grapes because they didn't have the idea first perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and you give away the beer from free?

No I think not!

I dont disbelieve you and your reasons at all and I know a lot that visit your pub and I trust their opinion and its all good and I know you are good decent honest folk.

But if they spent no cash, you would not ask them back I doubt

I go to chams

I take my own wine in fron asda.

do you let your friends bring their own?"

Of course we wouldnt, your first post stated that people wouldnt do it other than for the money, and thats simply wrong.

We didnt do it for the money, as stated in my first post, it was done as we couldnt get to other socials, we had no intention at all for the pub to become the "swinger friendly pub" that it as become.

It simply evolved into it, and yes dame right when we saw that people wanted to use the pub for that purpose, we where not going to say no and we then actively encouraged it. Any business would do the same. We mix business with pleasure and why the hell not.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

Money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Money."

i wont bite! Simply beause ye want me to.

sad really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think unless the social was in a completely separate and private room I'd feel very uncomfortable going.

I'd be worried about people gawping and gossiping.

Also one of the things I enjoy about going to a club is that because of its private nature folks can wear whatever outfits they want and pretty much do whatever they want.

I cant see how you could do that unless the pub was closed to the general public. And thats to say nothing of folks who dont like swingers or the lifestyle.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

Not forgetting the money.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"I think unless the social was in a completely separate and private room I'd feel very uncomfortable going.

I'd be worried about people gawping and gossiping.

Also one of the things I enjoy about going to a club is that because of its private nature folks can wear whatever outfits they want and pretty much do whatever they want.

I cant see how you could do that unless the pub was closed to the general public. And thats to say nothing of folks who dont like swingers or the lifestyle.

I feel exactly the same and for the same reasons you mentioned

If it was just a social event, then surely the beers would be for free as in a private house

Of course its about the money

but it could also be about convenience too

Lets all be honest

If the people brought their own asda wine and beer, I doubt they would be welcome

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

" ........

Of course its about the money

.........."

Yep. Money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well ok lets look at the socials held in the likes of Chams. Ok you take ya own booze but you still had to pay on the door. Your mixing with other people who have just paid to go there for the night off spec. I personally dont think its as cozy or as social as the ones I have been to in pubs. But this is just my personal opinion

I first had contact with Kev n Kat back in August. They were swingers before they became pub owners. As they have previously stated they combine the two. As anyone would know being in the Pub trade, well your job becomes your life. So yes Kev n Kat struggle with their swinging side so decided to bring the swinging to the pub. Fair do's it isnt an open bar, but then again the prices are not hiked up on the night for swingers either.

The first social we went to there. Well the buffet was superb, shame was there was just too much of it. Kat had gone to so much trouble. They have a disco and also lay on party games.

The way I look at it is, would Kat n Kev still keep in contact with us via phone etc if this was purely for commercial reasons. I dont think so somehow. I think we prefer to think of each other as friends now.

I am just so happy that they decided to do swingers socials. they are so few and far between in this neck of the woods.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

That and the money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/01/10 13:00:09]

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I have heard that ken n kat do a great job

but if you spont no money, would they want all of you there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I'm pretty confused about some of the replies on this thread.

IF you want to be excused from going to a swinger friendly pub you only need a letter from your doctor, countersigned by your local MP and your boss at work, then you will be given a "pass" to allow you not to attend if you dont like the Idea.

Ohhhhh no wait, its simpler than that, if you dont like the idea DONT go.

If you SO want to go to a social than IF you're lucky enough to live close to a swingers club then they will pobably have a social there too, again if you like that idea then go there.

If the "club" holding a social in is a proper licenced club then to the best of my knowledge there will be a membership and entry costs to be taken into account. Travelling and other costs too.

If you dont want to pay "pub" prices for your beer etc then yes you can go to a supermarket buy booze then find a disused building and use that ( but creature comforts like electricity, toilets, running water ( not down the walls ) staff who comply with the laws as to removing undesirable patrons if their behaviour gets out of hand, fire regulations , carpets, seating etc, might be lacking. This applies to bus stops, shop doorways, under bridges and other areas that "al fresco" drinkers frequent.

IF you want to go to a house that someone is holding a social at brilliant, rare but brilliant and at a guess IF the people inviting 100's of guests to their house then they are VERY generous or perhaps hoping for some kind of contribution to the cost of organising all this ( either asked for or implied ).

The "pub" social is an option, not everyones choice but from what I understand there are some who like having the option, its the same as everything in life, IF there is a demand it will continue , if there isnt it will die a natural death.

Going to a pub and complaining about pub prices doesnt make sense, going to a hotel and complaining its charging hotel prices is the same.

A cup of tea will be more expensive in the Savoy hotel than from a static caravan on an industrial estate.

Choices, luckily we have them .

PS, Jim (and the money)

Does the club holding the social make profit in business ??? probably.

Does the supermarket selling booze make a profit ??? probably.

Does the pub holding a social make a profit ??? probably.

I dont see the difference.

If the ONLY way of not allowing a profit is to go to a friends house and allow those friends to foot the bill for your nights enjoyment on a regular basis, errrrrrrr I'm glad we dont have friends who would do that to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear so many times of house parties down south where people are charged an admittance fee and thats with taking their own booze.

We are in fact going to a party on Friday where we are contributing to the cost of the apartment.

And yet this all could be counted as social meets.

I for one dont think many things in life are free, apart from me that is lol

The only point am trying to make with regard to Kev n Kat is that they put alot of time and effort into the socials that they hold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have heard that ken n kat do a great job

but if you spont no money, would they want all of you there?

yes as they often invite people to spend weekends with them. so perhaps that proves the point.

as far as inviting over a 100 people and footing the bill, I dont think I would do that even if I had the room in my house to do it

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

no one is arguing that they

dont do a good job

dont do it out of convenience to themselves so they can combine the 2

have lots of friends regulars that love what they do

but its is commercial if they charge and they do

Now if they invited you all after hours, closed the pub and offered you all free booze then that would not be doing it for the money now would it

I pay to go to a club as its a commercial venture

no difference

I would NEVER pay to go to a private house party

I would however expect to take my own booze and contribution to the buffet

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By *eordies OP Couple
over a year ago

newcastle

"I notice that the OP's pics seem to have been taken in a pub? Sour grapes because they didn't have the idea first perhaps?

No, actually the pics were taken in a pub which was run by a couple who were swingers. But they kept that private, we played with them after hours.

If you go back to our origional post its is asking what other people think of the idea. There obviously are a vast range of opinions.

J & S

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire

"and you give away the beer from free?

No I think not!

I dont disbelieve you and your reasons at all and I know a lot that visit your pub and I trust their opinion and its all good and I know you are good decent honest folk.

But if they spent no cash, you would not ask them back I doubt

I go to chams

I take my own wine in fron asda.

do you let your friends bring their own?"

So Chams aren't in it for the money?

Everything is free there is it?

No didn't think so

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"and you give away the beer from free?

No I think not!

I dont disbelieve you and your reasons at all and I know a lot that visit your pub and I trust their opinion and its all good and I know you are good decent honest folk.

But if they spent no cash, you would not ask them back I doubt

I go to chams

I take my own wine in fron asda.

do you let your friends bring their own?

So Chams aren't in it for the money?

Everything is free there is it?

No didn't think so"

Chams is not for free no

But its full of swingers and not joe public

and I pay a minimum of £5 and I take any alcohol whiich is a rarity, with me

so I often leave with change of a tenner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and you give away the beer from free?

No I think not!

I dont disbelieve you and your reasons at all and I know a lot that visit your pub and I trust their opinion and its all good and I know you are good decent honest folk.

But if they spent no cash, you would not ask them back I doubt

I go to chams

I take my own wine in fron asda.

do you let your friends bring their own?

So Chams aren't in it for the money?

Everything is free there is it?

No didn't think so"

When have i ever said we are not commercial? We run a pub, a business so yes money is part of it.

but...

what i am saying is we didnt start the socials for the money, infact the first social we did we didnt charge an entry fee, we did karaoke, food, games extra staff etc etc from our own arse pocket. It was infact people that came to the social that said why are you not charging for this. Now we charge £5 per person, same price if your man or woman.

Our socials are always closed to the public, its normal weekends when the pub is open to anyone, and yes this isnt something everyone likes, but for us and the people that use the pub it works very well.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

Still on about money, are we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Still on about money, are we?"

you still repeating yourself are you?

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I refuse to argue

Its about the money end of

Just like Chams

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

"I refuse to argue

Its about the money end of

Just like Chams

Yep, it's about money alright.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the pub is totally closed from the public for a social that covers the worry I had then.

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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

the reason i wou;d hold one in a pub, would be the same as kevs just something always wanted to do nearly did before xmas but had to cancel it.

As for playing in the pub not sure i would like that.

But anyone how knows me well the is other options !!!

I had thought about the opions on beer and had worked something ot.

I personally think they ok know and again but would over once a month.

any still thinking about it.

ian

Ok question would you go?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FRANKLY MADAM WE DONT GIVE A DAMN LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my hubby does the DJ at the rose and crown and I work behind the bar for free of charge, we are really good friends of kat and kev and I work there every weekend. The people we get in love it as they meet loads of other swingers that come in. the locals know that swingers come in and they dont mind in fact they have a laugh with us some weekends. at least there you dont have loads of single guys following you everywhere you go like you do in some of the clubs we have been in. kat and kev go out of there way to sort the socials out and somtime been out of pocket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I refuse to argue

Its about the money end of

Just like Chams

so is this just pubs that are all about money or would you say that every 1 who organises events are out to make money

its a personal choice wether or not anyone goes to a social meet and each individual will decide if the venue is what they want no one is forced, for example, we wouldnt go to an event where it was advetised for say under 25s as our personal choice is we prefer older.

is that organiser just out for the money, or just wanting to have fun and may or maynot try and cover costs

if anyone went to a club that was licenced they wouldnt be allowed to take their own drinks so whats the differance between them and a pub

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

My under 25's isn't an event that people are paying for

In fact I have paid for the hotel room

And I am not knocking you for what you do, just saying its not for me as when I swing I wanna be with other swingers and not folks that think I am the circus act in town

I know you do a good job

But it is for commercial gain, and that is the truth

So is Chams and that is another truth

I prefer chams as its contained

Your friends and customers prefer what you have to offer

I was making an observation not saying that what you do is wrong in any way

Its just not my approach

Neither your approach nor mine is the best option for all

I know your events are well run, I have friends that go

I know chams is well run I go with friends

But both are for finantial gain

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

"My under 25's isn't an event that people are paying for

In fact I have paid for the hotel room

And I am not knocking you for what you do, just saying its not for me as when I swing I wanna be with other swingers and not folks that think I am the circus act in town

I know you do a good job

But it is for commercial gain, and that is the truth

So is Chams and that is another truth

I prefer chams as its contained

Your friends and customers prefer what you have to offer

I was making an observation not saying that what you do is wrong in any way

Its just not my approach

Neither your approach nor mine is the best option for all

I know your events are well run, I have friends that go

I know chams is well run I go with friends

But both are for finantial gain"

Are we back to money yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My under 25's isn't an event that people are paying for

In fact I have paid for the hotel room

And I am not knocking you for what you do, just saying its not for me as when I swing I wanna be with other swingers and not folks that think I am the circus act in town

I know you do a good job

But it is for commercial gain, and that is the truth

So is Chams and that is another truth

I prefer chams as its contained

Your friends and customers prefer what you have to offer

I was making an observation not saying that what you do is wrong in any way

Its just not my approach

Neither your approach nor mine is the best option for all

I know your events are well run, I have friends that go

I know chams is well run I go with friends

But both are for finantial gain"

Please read previous posts properly, our socials are closed to the pubic, so if people think you are a circus act its others swingers and not general public

as also stated before, our point is, it is not JUST/ALL about money, neither is money the main reason for US doing our social.

kat.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

then dont charge then

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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

is it about more ways to meet swingers in just a little different format.

Unlike private parties, they will still have to pay all the bills, even if they sold the beer wine at no profit still the y have to pay the VAT tax etc./

So never going to be a cheap as bring your own.

But then again, some people need to make swinging cheap and others can spend what they like.

Horses for courses.

regards

ian

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

absolutely

we all do what suits us best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"then dont charge then"

and be out of pocket

ye, great way to run a business, whats next? a free bar?

We run our socials for our reasons, which iv stated time and again.

dont care if you dont like or agree with THEM.

but dont make me out to be a liar

kat

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think this is going around in circles now.

Take it private please x

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

so it is for money then haha

I am not calling anyone a liar

It either is for money or its not

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