FabSwingers.com forum: What am I doing wrong?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm a bit lost. I approach people that are looking for single males. I'm polite, I'm respectful. I have experience on the scene. I have face and body pics but everyone I contact deletes my message without a reply. Did I miss something? Its really disheartening. I haven't abused anyone or done any of the things most people on here complain about single guys for, so what's the problem? Why can't couples and females be a bit friendlier??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sheer number of single men on here is why women/couples can't be friendlier. We don't have time to be friendly with men we have no intention of meeting, as this cuts into the time we want to spend being friendly to people we DO want to meet.

You've only been here 7 weeks and already had two meets, so you're doing really well - many single men wait much longer before getting their first meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been on and off here for many years but mainly in couples. Which explains the veris.

My complaint is the sheer ignorance of people on here who don't even have the common courtesy to message a no. They just delete you. More than anything, it's bloody arrogant.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

The fact is most people look at the profile and pictures before evening opening the message. Sorry, I'd delete your messages unopened too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not being anywhere near you, I'd hope you would too...

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By *issAngel57Woman
over a year ago

Barnet

And a few too many 'but, maybe, if, but' replies when I have taken the time to try and kindly reply 'no, sorry'.

Sometimes I get a message every five mins, I can't reply to all the ones who I have to discount for really basic reasons like distance, age or just that I can see a pic and I know I don't find them attractive (not saying they're ugly, just not my type... I'm not everyone's cup of tea either).

So, sorry, have to be a bit practical/realistic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't always reply to guys that I'm not interested in because I get fed up with the 'why don't you like me' response.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Not being anywhere near you, I'd hope you would too..."

That's ok, I don't meet barebackers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have bareback pics on your profile, that will alienate a lot of people you message.

XXXX

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"You have bareback pics on your profile, that will alienate a lot of people you message.

XXXX"

I noticed that too, even though it says 'safe sex' in the profile. You don't need help, mate, you've got veris and has meets and an mff. I know a grey guy on here who says he hasn't had a meet in 2 years. Don't sweat it. Relax.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Oh my spelling is lousy grey = great and I meant you have had meets, veris and an mff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The sheer number of single men on here is why women/couples can't be friendlier. We don't have time to be friendly with men we have no intention of meeting, as this cuts into the time we want to spend being friendly to people we DO want to meet.

You've only been here 7 weeks and already had two meets, so you're doing really well - many single men wait much longer before getting their first meet."
Very well put

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

No one is obliged to respond to any sent messages. I know i don't. Block them if it upsets you so much.

Also bareback pics will put the majority off, regardless of how good an explanation you have for them.

Suck it up and get on with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So when some one is only on for very limited time you expect then to waste their time answer say up to 100 messages saying no thanks, instead of spending the time looking for what they actually want

very nice indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice quiff, thought sadly more then cancelled out by the RHCP tattoo... Though seriously lose some pictures, you are probably already realising the folly of the bareback ones and most people are uninterested in seeing pictures primarily of a singlemales previous playpartners. There are some good ones and a good mix that are better than many that are on here.

Can't comment on your profile as it was bland enough that in the time it's taken to type that I've forgotten what it said. You need to stand out and sell yourself - would you be interested in your own profile?

But 2 meets already is a higher success rate than many and as a singleman that accomodate and is happy showing their face you have a lot going in your favour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's ok, I don't meet barebackers.

Wha??? Neither do I...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have bareback pics on your profile, that will alienate a lot of people you message.

XXXX"

Those are pictures I have taken with consenting long term partners. They shouldn't say that im into bareback. That's so judgmental...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"You have bareback pics on your profile, that will alienate a lot of people you message.

XXXX

Those are pictures I have taken with consenting long term partners. They shouldn't say that im into bareback. That's so judgmental..."

I think you're missing the point a bit. You're wondering why people are deleting your messages without reading. I did point out that people read profiles before the message and something was putting them off: bareback pictures.

You have a single male profile, you're female playmates are very prominent in your pictures, people will draw their own conclusions and err on the side of caution.

It may seem unfair and judgemental, but we all make judgments who to meet.

Please don't see this as criticism just pointing out why you may be struggling.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have been on and off here for years, especially as a couple, then you should realise why people don't say no by now?

No reply is a no thanks without the hassle a no thanks can bring

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

why ask a question if you dont want to know the answer ?

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Maybe because you change you name every few months and try to change your approach. People tend to recognise pictures, as I did, even with a name change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried messaging people with one liners ie."Fancy a Fuck" or maybe "C'mon it won't suck itself baby" with a gratuitous cock pic attached? Works for me!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the numbers game that's the problem. You might message lots of people but who's to say they're online to play ? - bit like ourselves. Im online a lot but in forums. Mr is online too but just browsing. But as of this moment have no definite day we wish to play.

The only thing I will say about your profile that I don't like is the pictures of women, some of which are quite obvious apart from blindfolds. This puts me off a lot as I always doubt that single guys have permission to use these. That aside the photos should be to sell yourself not the people you've been with in the past. I do like the photos that you have of yourself though. I would keep those and delete the pics of the exes in my humble opinion.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Maybe because you change you name every few months and try to change your approach. People tend to recognise pictures, as I did, even with a name change.

Funky aka Miss Marple

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a bit lost. I approach people that are looking for single males. I'm polite, I'm respectful. I have experience on the scene. I have face and body pics but everyone I contact deletes my message without a reply. Did I miss something? Its really disheartening. I haven't abused anyone or done any of the things most people on here complain about single guys for, so what's the problem? Why can't couples and females be a bit friendlier??"

So basically sense of entitlement isn't being met and its everyone else's fault? You may think that people should meet you but that doesn't mean anyone owes you anything. Maybe it is your attitude that is off putting??? just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant comment as you have now hidden your profile!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"cant comment as you have now hidden your profile!

Yes, I've hidden it as I dont see the point. You all have put me well off it all. Sorry...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't understand why men are so bothered about receiving no replies. Why is typing the word no to someone better than a no reply. It's the same outcome, they are not going to have sex with you.

And in relation to the 'meeting the criteria of someone, always being polite etc', yes all very admirable but it doesn't mean that's an automatic meet with them. I have applied for jobs before with every part of their criteria and personal spec met but they haven't given that job to me.

Women are not offering a public service here, be adult about this. If someone doesn't reply it means no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im sure as soon a few more members hear that youve never abused anyone on here your inbox is gonna get full of meet requests

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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"cant comment as you have now hidden your profile!

Yes, I've hidden it as I dont see the point. You all have put me well off it all. Sorry..."
exactly how can we give help now we cannot see stop been in a strop and just accept people trying to help you it was constructive criticism they weren't been aweful ..

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Hidden profile....indiscreet.....these posts stay on Fab for years and people search them, and some people like the poster above recognise photos.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

If I actually posted what I want to right now, I'd get a ban, and I really don't want that to happen. So let us just leave it at I am incredibly pissed off.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Ive removed posts and Im closing the thread now sorry

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