FabSwingers.com forum: Dilema

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We don't seek single males online, if we do want to meet a single male we do so at a club, this will not change.

So our dilema is that we don't want to block single guys from viewing our profile (this seems a little anti-social on a specifically social site) but our "looked at me" section is full of single guys and we can't see the couples who maybe or may not be interested in us.

We also still get loads of e-mails from guys who don't read profiles which makes single guys seem bad even though we know many are not.

I doubt there is a solution to our dilema but do others have this problem and what do you do about it, do you mass block to get rid of the timewasters or take the rough with the smooth ?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Why don't you have a week of blocking to allow the couples to shine through and then a week of unblocking so that you don't feel so anti social?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no offence meant ...

but any profile with the volume of female pics is going to get bus loads of guys looking at them..

I can't understand why you need so many as it only speaks 'oi guys look what I have and you cant get to meet her' ... yet 2/3 of you

again no offence meant but you asked

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Actually that's spot on with what we do at the moment I just wondered if there was a better way

But sound adv ice obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually that's spot on with what we do at the moment I just wondered if there was a better way

But sound adv ice obviously

cheers and no offence meant

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"no offence meant ...

but any profile with the volume of female pics is going to get bus loads of guys looking at them..

I can't understand why you need so many as it only speaks 'oi guys look what I have and you cant get to meet her' ... yet 2/3 of you

again no offence meant but you asked"

no offence taken, but the pictures are not "aimed" at single guys, they are to show couples we are genuine, a number of pictures over a period of time in various outfits and locations, we love it, not everyone does of course but not everyone has to look at them all.

Yes lots of Sasha, but some of me as you say, much better I think than all the couples profiles who have 5 pictures of the female and none of the men ?

It's just one of those personal choice things, we like pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always suggest to admin to up the looked at me to 200 instead of 100?

Although not sure why its a dilema, surely anyone viewing your profile would just send a message if they wanted to meet you both.

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By *eicsbimaleMan
over a year ago

loughborough

Why not open another account linked to your present one, that way you can let the guys look (or perv) the pictures and just dont bother reading any mail on there, it can direct couples to your other profile which is only open to them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And I do hope the guys get some enjoyment out of looking at Sasha, I do, it's not an objection to anyone looking, couples we don't fancy or whose criteria we don't meet look at them, I just wondered if others feel the same.

If so perhaps the site can add a new filter to the "looked at me" to filter out those you don't want to appear on the list but who can still view the profiles ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not open another account linked to your present one, that way you can let the guys look (or perv) the pictures and just dont bother reading any mail on there, it can direct couples to your other profile which is only open to them. "

Food for thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are basic members and cant see who is looking at us

However, I think that if someone is interested, they will either wink or mail us, so I'm not concerned about that.

I activate the single person block on occaisions, if we get too much unsolicited mail. It seems to come spasmodicaly so sometimes I take the block off cos I think nobody luvs us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

defo defo .... but the single guys will look and admire..

so no real way of cutting down them on your 'viewed us' but blocking em will cut mailing..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How important are the "Looked at Me" hits to you? We used to be silver supporters and while it was nice to be able to see who was having a perv we went on the base assumption that if someone looked and didn't message they weren't that interested anyway.

Just a thought?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am a great fan of "reading between the lines"

Looked at me - didn't contact us tells us that they are not interested in us, as good as sending us a mail saying "hi didn't like your profile one bit so wouldn't want to meet up" - very handy and saves us contacting those that we like where the feelings are not mutual

It definetly works both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so does that mean you block people who look at your profile when they look but dont contact you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never even look at our 'looked at us' list. In our minds we think if someone is interested in us, then they will message us, if they don't or cannot be bothered to do so, then we'll assume that they're not interested, but no amount of looking at our profile will spur us on to contact them ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so does that mean you block people who look at your profile when they look but dont contact you."

Can't / Don't want to answer for OP, but we only block people who positively annoy us.

So far, we're blocked with fairly good memories so we haven't (to our knowledge) messaged the same member again by mistake. Similarly, if we get messaged by someone we've already said "no thanks" to (like 3 minutes ago

) we just politely remind them that we've liased and shelved the idea before (or ignore them if they've written a one-liner).

I can see the advantage of blocking people, but even we'll give second chances. Sometimes crap pics are replaced with ones which do people more justice. Other times, they may feel a bit more energic when writing a message so we don't tend to block people until they can't take "no" for an answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"so does that mean you block people who look at your profile when they look but dont contact you."

Absolutely not, we have noticed that many people who don't contact us regularly look at our profile and can only assume that they are enjoying the pictures and are glad that they are even if they don't want to meet us.

We know some will like the look of us (ok the look of Sasha lol) but because of our ages or because we are smokers or because we are too far away would not want to meet us and that's fine.

But at least we know they don't want to get in touch so we don't contact them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just wondered after reading your previous post

Now picturing you with little notebook taking notes as to whos viewed your profile

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"while it was nice to be able to see who was having a perv we went on the base assumption that if someone looked and didn't message they weren't that interested anyway"

That's how we view it, we've had the same people view us several times but for some reason never received a message from them, I guess some just like to perv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one problem... there is an option in settin that sets so you dont show on the who viewed me list??

anyway some pics are nice and sometimes its just nice to have a look at different profiles and get ideas ! xx

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

funny story

on another site I had a lady look at my photos every two days for ages,

so i messaged her a nice note to say i hope she enjoyed them

and got a realy nasty reply back, saying she was not looking for single guys and not to contact hre again

so i stopped her fun

yes i blocked her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Set up two profiles one for couples and you for guys]#

Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Set up two profiles one for couples and you for guys]#

Simples"

sounds like a good solution, but why not just contact couples you like instead of waiting to see who looks or not at you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

awwww half the fun is seeing who peeked and ran away

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

hell I block anyone that annoys me

In fact I am surprised anyone is left

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"funny story

on another site I had a lady look at my photos every two days for ages,

so i messaged her a nice note to say i hope she enjoyed them

and got a realy nasty reply back, saying she was not looking for single guys and not to contact hre again

so i stopped her fun

yes i blocked her

r u sure it was you she was looking at

not the furniture in your home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"funny story

on another site I had a lady look at my photos every two days for ages,

so i messaged her a nice note to say i hope she enjoyed them

and got a realy nasty reply back, saying she was not looking for single guys and not to contact hre again

so i stopped her fun

yes i blocked her

r u sure it was you she was looking at

not the furniture in your home

have i ever told you i love that red sofa???xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really see it as a dilema: par for the course on sites like this.

My profile says no bi or married, not only do they look but message. When I can be arsed to reply it's the usual "can't blame a man for trying!"

At the end of the day if couples are interested in you they'll send you a message.

You're not going to stop single men having a look and after this thread the hits on your profile will probably crash the site lol

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"funny story

on another site I had a lady look at my photos every two days for ages,

so i messaged her a nice note to say i hope she enjoyed them

and got a realy nasty reply back, saying she was not looking for single guys and not to contact hre again

so i stopped her fun

yes i blocked her

r u sure it was you she was looking at

not the furniture in your home

have i ever told you i love that red sofa???xx

park your arse on it anytime x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheers!! i would likely take it home with me lol!!! xx

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"cheers!! i would likely take it home with me lol!!! xx

You pair should get a room

preferably in a hotel!

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awww have a hug no need to be jealous there always room for more!! (plus a need a few strappin lads to shift that couch)!!! xx

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"(plus a need a few strappin lads to shift that couch)!!! xx

We're good at giving instructions!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't really see it as a dilema: par for the course on sites like this.

My profile says no bi or married, not only do they look but message. When I can be arsed to reply it's the usual "can't blame a man for trying!"

At the end of the day if couples are interested in you they'll send you a message.

You're not going to stop single men having a look and after this thread the hits on your profile will probably crash the site lol

No we didn't say we wanted to stop them looking we said the opposite, it's cool for them to look, it's a compliment and we get a lot of mails from guys who simply want to comment on the pictures, the question was how do we let them look but not appear on our "looked at me page" and asking if it was possible to have a filter option so we can only see which couples looked.

if we wanted to stop them looking alltogether we know we can just block single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't seek single males online, if we do want to meet a single male we do so at a club, this will not change.

We also still get loads of e-mails from guys who don't read profiles which makes single guys seem bad even though we know many are not.

I doubt there is a solution to our dilema but do others have this problem and what do you do about it, do you mass block to get rid of the timewasters or take the rough with the smooth ?"

Much the same problem as us! We do not block single men and yes get our share of mails from them. But if someone mails you with a compliments the least we can do is reply with a thank you.

We do not meet single men and its on our profile, but some cannot see behond our pictures.

We would say take the rough with the smooth, at least someone is looking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or stop paying for site membership and then this particular dilemma goes away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

nope still not got it, not complaining about the mails from them, we get the same unwanted mails from couples who dont read profiles etc like the "wont meet smokers" couples who mail us.

The whole point was that we dont have a problem with single males thats why we dont want to block them just errrrr seperate them in the looked at bit wotsit fingy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's been an interesting discussion but do you ever wish you never started something.

a bit like the idea to build a fire to warm your hands in London back in 1666

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's been an interesting discussion but do you ever wish you never started something.

Or spent the last couple of hours undoing stuff

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ok we can carry on I just thought everyone was bored with it.

so - the original post was

We don't seek single males online, if we do want to meet a single male we do so at a club, this will not change.

We also still get loads of e-mails from guys who don't read profiles which makes single guys seem bad even though we know many are not.

I doubt there is a solution to our dilema but do others have this problem and what do you do about it, do you mass block to get rid of the timewasters or take the rough with the smooth ?

Unfortunately some people have seen this as a "we hate single guys" post, there are enough of them and since we like single guys (the decent ones as much as we dislike the timewasting couples) we have never implied that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we worded ours wrong. If we did, sorry. Sometimes it not easy to type whats in you head. (not for us anyway)

Go with the flow.

Most people are great on this site and the more people you meet the more you can spot the timewasters. As you know.

And you never know the couples might just be interested, who view you. we have had couples that have taken months to contact us, or indeed us them.

There is no solution to your dilema, not what you wanted to read..sorry.

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

being a recent addition to the world of swinging and fab, when we set up our profile we just blocked single guys completely, just cos it isnt what we are looking for, but through the chat rooms we have got friendly with a few and added them to our friends list, this way of doing it works for us, but can appreciate it wont work for everyone, that way we can see who looked at us but still make new friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

social sex sites world wide will be full of single guys......i dare say if you was being viewed by single women in the same capacity the problem wouldn't be so bad. but its the nature of the beast really, single guys are a plenty. which doesn't really help you or me lol....

i agree with the suggestion, 'block em' and u do the approaching to the couples/fems that u like...

ps. i have played as a couple, so i know all too well the probs with single guys also!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"while it was nice to be able to see who was having a perv we went on the base assumption that if someone looked and didn't message they weren't that interested anyway"

"That's how we view it, we've had the same people view us several times but for some reason never received a message from them, I guess some just like to perv"

or maybe we are new and shy and waiting for you to contact us? Seriously though, we do look at profiles several times before messaging or winking, we look seperately and then together and chat about the profile. If we are interested we send a message and wait a while before deciding they are not interested, mainly because we like to give them the benifit of the doubt rather than assume they cannot be bothered to respond.

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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

we blocked single guys, from the point of view we are ot interested in single guys.

So we have only had about two or three mails.( before we found the block button)

As for the looked at me button. we had a few people that we looked, send us a message saying hi see you looked at our profile, fancy chatting sometime.

So i would use the look at me button. we will, when i stop been lazy and join lol.

Couples can be shy and you sending them a message might get you a great supprise

Sue and Ian

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

totally agree with the above post, we look at a profile a few times and discuss it before we think of sending any message, but a lot of the time we are actually too shy to send one, (which is odd because in life we are not a shy couple), but i am sure that will change once we have been on a bit longer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok we can carry on I just thought everyone was bored with it.

so - the original post was

We don't seek single males online, if we do want to meet a single male we do so at a club, this will not change.

We also still get loads of e-mails from guys who don't read profiles which makes single guys seem bad even though we know many are not.

I doubt there is a solution to our dilema but do others have this problem and what do you do about it, do you mass block to get rid of the timewasters or take the rough with the smooth ?

Though we are happy to meet single guys off here we have the same problem the amount of views we get from them obscures the couples that have look at us add to that the one or two messages we get from the guys who dont fit our criteria we unfortunately feel the need to block single guys and thats a shame. It would be nice to have a filter on the looked at me page but we totally understand this all takes up server space and that in turn costs money. Hope that something can be sorted in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a tricky one I guess and you are right some kind of filter would be useful.

I think if I were you I'd either just rely on actual messages from folks to indicate interest or set up Jed n Sasha2 where folks can look at the pics. Which are great by the way!!

Its tricky as I guess seeing who looked and reading between the lines is fun to work out people's intentions.

I wouldnt see what you've put as anti-single blokes either. On the contrary.

Maybe just block the single guys would be the easiest answer or do the 2nd profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing you can do is block every single guy on the site individually, because using the single male block already in place on the site won’t stop them viewing your profile, if you resort to this though, don’t ever attempt to view your blocked list or you’ll crash the site

Alternatively a picture filter could be put in place by admin, whereas you can select who can view your profile/pictures and exclude the rest, but lets all be honest here, this would just create a bigger problem as an increase in fake couples and single female profiles would ensue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only thing you can do is block every single guy on the site individually, because using the single male block already in place on the site won’t stop them viewing your profile, if you resort to this though, don’t ever attempt to view your blocked list or you’ll crash the site

As he said before though, they don't mind the guys looking. He just doesn't want them on the actual 'looked at me' list so that he can see which couples and single fems have looked and are not interested. I think!

Don't think there is a current solution for you Jed. Unless you got admin to give you a delete button on your 'looked at' list, but can't see it helping enough people for them to do it.

Random side point, but sometimes I send private messages to people re topics on a thread. There's been a few times I wanted to send something to you, but you had single males blocked at the time. Nothing more than a bit of banter, but it's a shame sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't seek single males online, if we do want to meet a single male we do so at a club, this will not change.

We also still get loads of e-mails from guys who don't read profiles which makes single guys seem bad even though we know many are not.

I doubt there is a solution to our dilema but do others have this problem and what do you do about it, do you mass block to get rid of the timewasters or take the rough with the smooth ?"

why do you need to look at your 'looked at me' to see what couples are interested in you? surely if they was interested they would have mailed you and not just 'looked at you' and gone??

if a single guy mails you and you have put on your profile you not after single guys just ignor it, i try to reply to all messages but my profile states quite clearly what im looking for and also says if you mail me and your not what ive said im looking for i will not reply to you, so they just wasting their own time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As I said earlier (about 4 times) personally we like to see which couples have looked at us and NOT got in touch because then we know who IS NOT interested and we don't contact them.

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"then we know who IS NOT interested and we don't contact them."

I wouldn't assume people are not interested, some people are nervous about making the initial contact, some peeps find lots of verifications / pictures quite intimidating (not saying it applies in your case)

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

I'm a single str8 guy and my 'looked at me' is full of guys too

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By *iteskinMan
over a year ago

Cardiff/Newport/Bristol/M4

After seeing your profile wish i went to clubs but alas its not my thing but good luck anyway there are some good guys on here..validations do help just do a little investigating to make sure they are real!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I'm a single str8 guy and my 'looked at me' is full of guys too

No one would know what is in your profile unless they looked , including guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some Single Guys have a look at a Profile and then see their not matched to the Profile which is innocent enough, I'm always forgetting who I've looked at especially when Profile pictures have changed so have looked at some several times, I'm not Pervy or anything like that I'm just being curious.

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

Hmmmmmmmmm I'd have thought my title would have given a clue PzMale

might have to change it to Pzstr8male LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It says on our profile that we do meet single guys but would prefer a couple or fem. So if they read they will be happy with us. Then if talk to us we tell them our rules like we like to see who they are by cam either on msn or in chat room.

It very simple really and we are basic members as cross the water and not able for the fancy things.

Would love to know who looks at our profile but have set up two male and female one. The male directs you to the female for pics so you have to read his profile too.

We had couple talk to us but read neither profiles as they didn't like older people. But they talked to us anyway. Had to block them as the male wanted to play with us with out the female so it was a single guy but not being honest so not our type.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Hmmmmmmmmm I'd have thought my title would have given a clue PzMale

might have to change it to Pzstr8male LOL"

Hmmm maybe people are non the wiser, a bit like me lol

Does Pzmale mean something?

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