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Made to choose

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have been on and off fab for about six months and have met a few lovely guys. Recently two of my regulars asked me to pick them or the other to meet. I kind of think this goes completely against what fab is all about. Advice welcomed ...

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By *harliesteveCouple
over a year ago

selly oak

Men on here are two for a penny if you don't like what they are saying or don't agree then I am sure there slot in your diary could be filled in seconds

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford


"I have been on and off fab for about six months and have met a few lovely guys. Recently two of my regulars asked me to pick them or the other to meet. I kind of think this goes completely against what fab is all about. Advice welcomed ... "
oh dear... So many on here to choose from you might choose neither of them

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By *arnaclebillMan
over a year ago

Robin Hood County


"I have been on and off fab for about six months and have met a few lovely guys. Recently two of my regulars asked me to pick them or the other to meet. I kind of think this goes completely against what fab is all about. Advice welcomed ... oh dear... So many on here to choose from you might choose neither of them "

Yes pick neither of them. Plenty more around.

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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Could't agree more with the above comments.. Find people more condusive!!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Think they both need to review the definition of NSA!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Although they might see the part in your profile about looking for a regular fun buddy as that you just want one guy to meet and it should be them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are they confused about what type of site this is? Unless you are developing a relationship with either of them, which you want to have, then how can they tell/ask you who to see or not. It's called fabswingers for a reason and a few singles seem to think that it's fabdating which it isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With so many of us guys on here you can quite easily find meets that are more than happy to share a lovely lady like yourself

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By *ancpl05Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend

Ultimately ..... Do what you want / like to do. Isn't that the whole point - should never be pressured into doing anything you are not 100% into. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trade them in for a sportier model.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ultimately ..... Do what you want / like to do. Isn't that the whole point - should never be pressured into doing anything you are not 100% into. Good luck x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block them. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Trade them in for a sportier model. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi if you have agreed to be reg fb with both and they know about each other they shouldnt be a problem hun xx

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Presume from your profile you may have already decided as it says about a couples profile coming soon

Only you can decide, if you want one the choose. If you don't want to choose get rid of both.

Don't be pushed into anything you don't want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Presume from your profile you may have already decided as it says about a couples profile coming soon

Only you can decide, if you want one the choose. If you don't want to choose get rid of both.

Don't be pushed into anything you don't want."

I would have liked to keep them both but your right I have chosen as I don't want to loose both. I think I have made the right decision but aggrieved that I was pushed to make a choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should go with your feelings....this is a fun site. We all choose what we want to do. Long may that continue x

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Some very strong suggestions based on pretty vague op

I would need a little more data to assess the situation

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

you can't really be made to choose if you don't want to.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

For example sounds like someone has been discussing other meets quite specifically , do they know each other , do they only mean the other ONE or have they asked you not to see anyone else x do they want a relationship x data please

Are they good men . It may be suggested men are ten a penny but we all know that good men that match a preference are only one in 1000 or less unless she isn't fussy

How did they say it what prompted them to pay it what did you say then what was their reaction

We have no idea how reasonable or un reasonable they are x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For example sounds like someone has been discussing other meets quite specifically , do they know each other , do they only mean the other ONE or have they asked you not to see anyone else x do they want a relationship x data please

Are they good men . It may be suggested men are ten a penny but we all know that good men that match a preference are only one in 1000 or less unless she isn't fussy

How did they say it what prompted them to pay it what did you say then what was their reaction

We have no idea how reasonable or un reasonable they are x"

She is fussy! I take my time deciding who are worthy of my time and effort. No relationship is wanted on either side mine or theirs. They know about each other via verifications and yes it is just each other they have a problem with. Data supplied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For example sounds like someone has been discussing other meets quite specifically , do they know each other , do they only mean the other ONE or have they asked you not to see anyone else x do they want a relationship x data please

Are they good men . It may be suggested men are ten a penny but we all know that good men that match a preference are only one in 1000 or less unless she isn't fussy

How did they say it what prompted them to pay it what did you say then what was their reaction

We have no idea how reasonable or un reasonable they are x

She is fussy! I take my time deciding who are worthy of my time and effort. No relationship is wanted on either side mine or theirs. They know about each other via verifications and yes it is just each other they have a problem with. Data supplied"

I find it really weird that both men, without knowing each other would both say "its me or him" what are the odd of two men saying the same thing about each other like that

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By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

If that is the case get shot of them both. X

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

OP - you do not have to show your verifications.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I have been on and off fab for about six months and have met a few lovely guys. Recently two of my regulars asked me to pick them or the other to meet. I kind of think this goes completely against what fab is all about. Advice welcomed ... "

Sounds rediculous.

Unless you want a relationship then the absolute benefit of swinging being single, is that you are not tied down. it means toot can meet who you like, when you like, and do whatever you like without being answerable to anyone.

If they want a relationship or are giving the impression they want one, either with checking up or constant texts/phone calls, then turn them down for a week or two just to cool things off.

It sounds like you are out for you, and fun, do keep it that way until you decide otherwise?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I have been on and off fab for about six months and have met a few lovely guys. Recently two of my regulars asked me to pick them or the other to meet. I kind of think this goes completely against what fab is all about. Advice welcomed ... "

Say no and walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone who puts you in such a position on a N.S.A site isn't worth bothering with.

They're just showing their true domineering personalities, so who knows what stipulations either may place on you in the future.

Kick them both into touch, plenty more easier going men on the N.S.A beach.

XXXX

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

My twitch is twitching two men have paired tthemselves into competition there is more being unsaid here than said I would guess that op would be unhappy to loose either , in guessing something has been said or written ttat has convinced these two they are rivals No one likes to be scored or told point blank they are second best I wonder if ..

To be honest let's say the op has found two exceptional males she would be wrong to loose either but seems she has been indiscreet enough to promote the situation

Note the word seems. this means using data given not that it is fact x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My twitch is twitching two men have paired tthemselves into competition there is more being unsaid here than said I would guess that op would be unhappy to loose either , in guessing something has been said or written ttat has convinced these two they are rivals No one likes to be scored or told point blank they are second best I wonder if ..

To be honest let's say the op has found two exceptional males she would be wrong to loose either but seems she has been indiscreet enough to promote the situation

Note the word seems. this means using data given not that it is fact x"

I apologise for my indiscretion and ask for no further posts. Thanks

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Data? What data? Information perhaps. But not data which suggests statistics.

Look, the poor woman asked for advice but, as is typical on here, the armchair analysts have decided to minutely pull her words to pieces, make 2 and 2 add up to 5, 6 or 7 and really put her off.

Ffs people!! Give the woman a break!

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Give the lady a break ? Why she has posted on open forum and given one side with little information , the impulse reaction on this site it to side with the lady regardless of not enough information to make a reasoned comment all I suggest is with the limited information not all is clear.

There is the whole range of sexual dynamic on hero from cuck to master where a lady trusts one man to pick her meets . We do not know how she has been with the two men maybe both are dom quite reasonably .I just don't know nor do any of us

The very fact it seems one has been chosen tells us something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/06/13 22:46:50]

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

So what? Why does she need to give every tiny detail? She merely asked for advice not psychoanalysis. Clearly that approach has upset her to the point of leaving her own thread.

She didn't need to be asked the ins and outs of a cat's arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, if they're putting her in that position, neither of them sound like much fun...let alone a buddy...clearly they're insecure enough about themselves to not be able to take a little competition, which doesn't bode well in regards to even the guy who's been "chosen"...inverted commas used deliberately...no forced choice is a true choice in my opinion...

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

If you want I keep seeing both, just say you refuse to make that choice, then see what either or neither actually do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd not be dictated too about who I can play with..if I wanted that I'd get a relationship and even then wouldn't be told who I can play with.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"So what? Why does she need to give every tiny detail? She merely asked for advice not psychoanalysis. Clearly that approach has upset her to the point of leaving her own thread.

She didn't need to be asked the ins and outs of a cat's arse."

Well it depends whether she wanted advice based on the facts or just wants people to agree with her

I thought it very unfair two chaps we know nothing about were being character assassinated without knowing anything about them or the circumstances

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"I'd not be dictated too about who I can play with..if I wanted that I'd get a relationship and even then wouldn't be told who I can play with. "

Cali really ? I thought your previous master suggested people you should play with I remember you telling me about him suggesting you play with a certain ethnicity you were not usually drawn to ?

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

You see this all confuses me.

The only person I would ever put over any other guy I see would be a boyfriend. NSA surely means NSA. I have in the past been asked to choose and said NO! Guess what the guy still wants to see me anyhow - they may have been simply calling your bluff, and take control of you and your relationship.

Only you should decide who you should see and not see. Well that's my opinion anyone xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would get rid of anyone that tries to dictate me in what I do, in this lifestyle or otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just tell them that you don't care if they were seeing others and if they don't like that you see others then they don't have to meet with you

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

Had something like this happen. I made it clear that I make my own decisions and if they didn't like it they knew where the door was. One decided to take that option but a few months later got back in contact as he realised it was his lose. OP you just have to go with your gut reaction on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You see this all confuses me.

The only person I would ever put over any other guy I see would be a boyfriend. NSA surely means NSA. I have in the past been asked to choose and said NO! Guess what the guy still wants to see me anyhow - they may have been simply calling your bluff, and take control of you and your relationship.

Only you should decide who you should see and not see. Well that's my opinion anyone xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your the boss not them, no one on the scene has the right to ask you to choose, as has been said men and ten a penny and if anyone puts pressure on you then move on. It's not an easy thing to do but when someone gets too clingy it's time to get shot and move on

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"So what? Why does she need to give every tiny detail? She merely asked for advice not psychoanalysis. Clearly that approach has upset her to the point of leaving her own thread.

She didn't need to be asked the ins and outs of a cat's arse.

Well it depends whether she wanted advice based on the facts or just wants people to agree with her

I thought it very unfair two chaps we know nothing about were being character assassinated without knowing anything about them or the circumstances"

What character assassination? See what I mean? Reading into her post what actually isn't there. She said she had met some lovely guys and that these were two she met regularly. How the hell is that a character assassination??? Furthermore the only negative comment from her was that she felt aggrieved that she was being forced to choose. And that is about HER feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell both them to fuck off

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I'd tell both them to fuck off"

thats a double "fuck off" OP

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"I have been on and off fab for about six months and have met a few lovely guys. Recently two of my regulars asked me to pick them or the other to meet. I kind of think this goes completely against what fab is all about. Advice welcomed ... "

Tell them both no....

As you said, this is not what it is about...

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"

What character assassination? See what I mean? Reading into her post what actually isn't there. She said she had met some lovely guys and that these were two she met regularly. How the hell is that a character assassination??? Furthermore the only negative comment from her was that she felt aggrieved that she was being forced to choose. And that is about HER feelings."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP why not invite both round to spitroast ya...just a thought

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"So what? Why does she need to give every tiny detail? She merely asked for advice not psychoanalysis. Clearly that approach has upset her to the point of leaving her own thread.

She didn't need to be asked the ins and outs of a cat's arse.

Well it depends whether she wanted advice based on the facts or just wants people to agree with her

I thought it very unfair two chaps we know nothing about were being character assassinated without knowing anything about them or the circumstances

What character assassination? See what I mean? Reading into her post what actually isn't there. She said she had met some lovely guys and that these were two she met regularly. How the hell is that a character assassination??? Furthermore the only negative comment from her was that she felt aggrieved that she was being forced to choose. And that is about HER feelings."

Quite clearly meant every post after hers which condemned them with little to make such absolute comments x I have no issue really with op more those that jump right in with little information

Something has been written that these men object to one another the op clearly said they were not bothered about others

And to my knowledge very few meets here are no strings the very fact the word regular is clearly written in profile exhibits a string attached structure

For all we know she rejected one for the other one night

My clear point is there are at least three sides to this we have heard only one yet on this alone most have condemned both men as needy superficial and totally to worthy of her

I say that indeed maybe true but it does not all add up quite so clearly

does it not strike anyone as odd they have both said this about each other at same time , how long has she known them has she been on a no sex date ? I don't know thus we don't know thus strong they points either way are without basis

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"So what? Why does she need to give every tiny detail? She merely asked for advice not psychoanalysis. Clearly that approach has upset her to the point of leaving her own thread.

She didn't need to be asked the ins and outs of a cat's arse.

Well it depends whether she wanted advice based on the facts or just wants people to agree with her

I thought it very unfair two chaps we know nothing about were being character assassinated without knowing anything about them or the circumstances

What character assassination? See what I mean? Reading into her post what actually isn't there. She said she had met some lovely guys and that these were two she met regularly. How the hell is that a character assassination??? Furthermore the only negative comment from her was that she felt aggrieved that she was being forced to choose. And that is about HER feelings.

Quite clearly meant every post after hers which condemned them with little to make such absolute comments x I have no issue really with op more those that jump right in with little information

Something has been written that these men object to one another the op clearly said they were not bothered about others

And to my knowledge very few meets here are no strings the very fact the word regular is clearly written in profile exhibits a string attached structure

For all we know she rejected one for the other one night

My clear point is there are at least three sides to this we have heard only one yet on this alone most have condemned both men as needy superficial and totally to worthy of her

I say that indeed maybe true but it does not all add up quite so clearly

does it not strike anyone as odd they have both said this about each other at same time , how long has she known them has she been on a no sex date ? I don't know thus we don't know thus strong they points either way are without basis

"

And MY point is we don't need to bloody know. This is her asking for advice about HER and HER choice. Simple. We don't need to know about them or how they feel - no matter what assumptions we make (based on zero evidence) - or really about her. The choice is - does she choose between them or tell them both to do one!

My advice was to walk away. Many others also gave this advice. Ultimately, she can choose for herself.

What she did not need is a load of grief for what was, essentially, a simple question. She did not need the third degree demanding 'data'. It does not matter one jot who the guys are, what they are like or whatever. They both asked her to choose. They both put her in an invidious position. This is NSA, as she said, not building relationships.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I'd suggest the fact she has chosen illustrates some strings may indeed be there

Once in an open forum every one is open to grief no one is exempt just because a question may seem simple or a person is a girl

If the question so simple why ask.

just because some of you are superficial and don't want to look deeper before giving advice does not mean we are all so flippant

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I'd suggest the fact she has chosen illustrates some strings may indeed be there

Once in an open forum every one is open to grief no one is exempt just because a question may seem simple or a person is a girl

If the question so simple why ask.

just because some of you are superficial and don't want to look deeper before giving advice does not mean we are all so flippant

"

Ah - so seeing this situation as a simple choice makes me superficial? Thanks - I bow down to your superior intellect.

Her decision - if there are strings then only she will know about that. It may well be that she actually felt one was more clingy than the other and chose that one - hence proving that she genuinely does not want strings. Again - assumptions on your part.

And a further assumption that because she is female then she is being treated differently - well, what comparable threads are there by men which we can analyse - since you are so fond of 'data'?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If I were the OP, and one or both men wanted me to choose I would choose and choose neither of them cos I would have said I can have sex with whoever I like without having to check in with someone else.

Or to summarise as in above posts...

Tell 'em both to fuck off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread should have ended when the OP said she's made a choice but hating being made to. Unless, she made the choice while this thread was ongoing...

On the other hand, in making a contribution to the thread... Unless a man owns you (owning here could mean different things to different people; to some it could mean marriage, to some other -relationship; to other it would mean nothing), he should not tell you who you meet with or even choosing at all!

Thanks for bringing this very fresh thread though, never knew a situation like this could occur on an NSA site

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