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can I become sub

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am very quick to bottle it and decline offers when we get messages and offers. however, I know inside there is a crazy sexual lady who would love to do so much more. I wonder if I should or could try to be submissive for an evening to open up my inner sexiness.

or is submissive something you can't just become.

thanks you wise and wonderful people.

Mrs c

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

personally i dont think you can just become submissive. i am lucky in the sense that i can switch but prefer to be sub.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks for replying, I'm neither really, just a bit shy to start then get stuck in. I don't really take the lead, I just go with it. I think it's something new to try and maybe next question will be where can I go to get more chains and handcuffs. ha ha

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire


"personally i dont think you can just become submissive. i am lucky in the sense that i can switch but prefer to be sub. "

I would agree, the subs I have been with have always been submissive as a state of mind and outlook, it's not something that if you don't genuinely feel that way you can easily become

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try xtasia on a fet night or just go and use their fet room lots there and we got some good advice on how to use the stuff there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel you cant just become sub but I guess you could roleplay 'bottoming' .. I agree a fet night at a swingers club would be a great place to start... But make sure there is trust established before you allow someone to restrain you ect and ALWAYS establish a safe word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub is really a disposition.however..once had a meet with a lady who had a VERY high position of authority as a job and loved being sub as a "change"..couldnt grumble!!??

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"thanks for replying, I'm neither really, just a bit shy to start then get stuck in. I don't really take the lead, I just go with it. I think it's something new to try and maybe next question will be where can I go to get more chains and handcuffs. ha ha"

Cathouse clothing for cuffs and bnq for chains

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

I guess I still feel vague on the definition of a sub.. I know I am not one but that doesnt mean I don't like to be directed or tied up O's spanked... Sigh....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ok. maybe I have jumped the gun a little. when I say sub I mean give my husband the power to say who I will do what with. at this point I don't want him to chain me up and leave me. ha ha.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I am very quick to bottle it and decline offers when we get messages and offers. however, I know inside there is a crazy sexual lady who would love to do so much more. I wonder if I should or could try to be submissive for an evening to open up my inner sexiness.

or is submissive something you can't just become.

thanks you wise and wonderful people.

Mrs c"

Is it that you want the responsibility for being uninhibited taken from you? So you can say to yourself I'm not really this filthy, uninhibited woman he or she is making me do it? I'm not saying thats a bad thing but if thats what you want maybe try asking someone to give you little forfeits or play a game where you HAVE to do what is asked of you (obviously you would have the right to refuse).

I found out a lot about myself that way and it was FUN with a capital PH

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"thanks for replying, I'm neither really, just a bit shy to start then get stuck in. I don't really take the lead, I just go with it. I think it's something new to try and maybe next question will be where can I go to get more chains and handcuffs. ha ha

Cathouse clothing for cuffs and bnq for chains"

thanks. haha

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Like most things there are degrees of....since the publication of a certain novel, lots of people seem to want to label themselves. If being allowed to let go of your inhibitions works for you, then go with that and forget about labels such as subs, bottoms etc....

enjoy what you enjoy and go with the flow...

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By *aturalMysticMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Do what you want. There's no f*cking rule book. Everyone that says there are rules is just pretending to be into D/s. Even D/s is a game. Just do what feels right.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have never read that book. I feel very proud to say.

I wish I had the confidence to do the dirty things I do in my mind for real.

I feel I just need a push in the right direction.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"Do what you want. There's no f*cking rule book. Everyone that says there are rules is just pretending to be into D/s. Even D/s is a game. Just do what feels right."

D/s is a game is it??? No...it is a lifestyle to some.....some of us take it seriously...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have never read that book. I feel very proud to say.

I wish I had the confidence to do the dirty things I do in my mind for real.

I feel I just need a push in the right direction. "

I've never read it either.

I dare you to do just one really dirty thing tonight.....double dare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you sub with other half.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"I am very quick to bottle it and decline offers when we get messages and offers. however, I know inside there is a crazy sexual lady who would love to do so much more. I wonder if I should or could try to be submissive for an evening to open up my inner sexiness.

or is submissive something you can't just become.

thanks you wise and wonderful people.

Mrs c"

What / Who is stopping you?

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By *aturalMysticMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"Do what you want. There's no f*cking rule book. Everyone that says there are rules is just pretending to be into D/s. Even D/s is a game. Just do what feels right.

D/s is a game is it??? No...it is a lifestyle to some.....some of us take it seriously..."

I'm on Fetlife and belong to the group "Its not a fucking lifestyle". If you want to follow a rule book go ahead. My sexuality belongs to me.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford


"Do what you want. There's no f*cking rule book. Everyone that says there are rules is just pretending to be into D/s. Even D/s is a game. Just do what feels right.

D/s is a game is it??? No...it is a lifestyle to some.....some of us take it seriously...

I'm on Fetlife and belong to the group "Its not a fucking lifestyle". If you want to follow a rule book go ahead. My sexuality belongs to me."
I like this thought... Hell yes.. Our sexuality belongs to ourselves.. Awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do what you want. There's no f*cking rule book. Everyone that says there are rules is just pretending to be into D/s. Even D/s is a game. Just do what feels right.

D/s is a game is it??? No...it is a lifestyle to some.....some of us take it seriously..."

like with anything. For some it's something you do, for others it's something you are...

it's not a game to me either..but to some it is. For me it's part of my exploration of myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

follow your instincts and talk to as many people on the fetish scene as possible

One place to go for both a huge choice in restraints AND lots of random conversations is the BBB in Birmingham (third Sunday of every month)

give us a shout if you do decide to go xx

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By *taffsfella1Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

I think a safe word is really important. It means that you can try being sub but with the safety barrier of knowing that if you feel really uncomfortable at any point you can stop play. So effectively you're still ultimately in control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course you can be a sub. Don't let anyone tell you different. You're not born sub you are made one mostly by having the right Dom and secondly by having a open mind. A good Dom will go at your speed and will build trust. Communication is vital.

Good luck hun. Hope you find what you're looking for.

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By *aturalMysticMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"Of course you can be a sub. Don't let anyone tell you different. You're not born sub you are made one mostly by having the right Dom and secondly by having a open mind. A good Dom will go at your speed and will build trust. Communication is vital.

Good luck hun. Hope you find what you're looking for. "

A good sub will make bacon sandwiches and coffee at the weekend after sex. First rule of sub club.

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