FabSwingers.com forum: When a full swap just becomes a threesome

By *am7787 OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Rotherham

We recently arranged a full swap. It was due to be our first but I stopped it.

We met an experienced couple for a social and it went well so we agreed we’d arrange a meet and do a full swap.

Ended up with the guy creating a what’s app group for the four of us, where he posted a couple of times a day going on about how much he was looking forward to ‘snogging’ my girlfriend and doing other stuff to her. Which we both felt was a bit intense.

We arrange to meet at their favourite club and they invited us to pre drinks. We thought that would be a good way to meet other couples and better for going to the club together as a group.

In the end there was 6-7 couples and a couple of singles.

When we got to the club we played jenga together as a group and some play between us all.

I played with his wife but never really got a sense of her being up for it. Earlier at the pre drinks I was sat next to her and touched her knee a couple of times but she never reacted.

Some of the couples went off to play and left us four and a single guy in the room and so we stayed playing, well everyone but me who started off on the wrong side of the room.

Before I got over there she’s laid with her head on his chest and she’s using toys on her.

In an effort to join in my partner passed me a vibrator and gestured to use it in her.

So with her on her knees and still with knickers on I started rubbing it where I guessed her fanny actually was. She did nothing for 30 seconds or so then stood up and walked over to her bag of toys.

Feeling a bit desperate to be included somehow I took her place and started eating my girlfriend out. Only to be told by the three of them to stop as she was getting a toy out that will do it instead.

Kinda bewildered atm I stood up and watched as they went straight back to it. Him boasting to his wife that he’s back in that position again while playing with my girls tits.

I went to the loo to collect my thoughts came back in and don’t think they really noticed I had gone. So I said ‘ you three look like your having a good time’, no reply, ‘don’t worry I’ll just sit over at this end of the sofa and watch you three play together.’

Then they thought arrrr let’s encourage him to use the glas dildo on his girlfriend why I carry on with the licker machine.

Needless to say at this point using a dildo on my own partner while she gets the full attention of the couple we were supposed to be swapping with didn’t really do anything for me. So I just stopped and said ‘I’m bored I’ll go downstairs and get a drink and leave you three to it’. At this point it stopped with the suggestion (from him) that we go to another room.

I told my partner I didn’t want to carry on and she was happy to stop and leave.

We discussed it on the way home and we where both happy that we stuck to our rules and I don’t resent her for anything she did as we where playing but we agreed to a swap not me watching as they had a threesome with her.

We’ve argued ever since (last two days). I feel lied to and cheated by the other couple who as experience swingers just shut me out so they could play with her.

She has her own ideas but won’t share them but says I was right to stop it and it hadn’t spoilt her fun.

But I’m really struggling and don’t know how to process it and if I did the right thing stopping it or if it’s right that I feel rejected.

I’m 48 and have only slept with 8 women in my entire life and wanted to explore the LS to not just increase my score but to have the kinky FFM sex I’ve fantasised about. Even MFM so I can fill my girlfriend and let her enjoy her fantasies too.

Now she says she’s don’t with swinging as we just argue, but the problem is I always feel rejected.

What’s people’s take on this? Maybe I can get some closure and work out what my girlfriend won’t tell me encase it stays ww3.

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By *ustus5555Woman
24 weeks ago

Nottingham

If it didn't feel right & it wasn't what you both agreed, then you were absolutely right to stop.

Some ppl come into swinging thinking it's all none stop sex& orgies every weekend because that's what they've seen on the telly.

What they don't show you on the telly is how to deal with rejection & the multitude of other emotions spinning around aswell.

Clear communication & honest chatting between partners is essential in this lifestyle.

Take a break for a while, talk honestly & you may be able to resume, but be prepared to call it a day & maybe just keep ot a fantasy.

( side note. Sounds like the other cpl were a bit selfish)

Just my thoughts.

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By *oundtightCouple
24 weeks ago

Manchester

You did the right thing stopping it - next time maybe just a tap on your missus shoulder instead of the comments would handle it better but ultimately you weren't happy and that's that. Doesn't even need to be a watertight reason, "when the fun stops, stop" is enough.

The other couple either seemed to have a different idea of full-swap or were deceiving you. Both happen, and it sucks. No point getting into an argument about it, just walk away, plenty more fish in the sea.

With your missus, you just gotta talk it out. Maybe it's worth giving it some distance so you can get your thoughts straight and do some self-reflection, but if she is trying to preserve the relationship by ruling out swinging then surely that's a positive indicator, right.

From what you've said I don't think you've done anything wrong, but if you want a fruitful swinging experience then ask yourself how you could have handled it better so that you both came away ready for the next meet instead of pressing pause.

But yeh, sounds like you did the right thing and just had a shit one. It happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Unfortunately there are couples out there who will try an "wife steal" the fem from couples as they only really want the elusive "unicorn" that is rarely available. From personal experience we have found that especially newer couples seem to want fem/fem action, but can't deal with the fem being shared with another couple's male.

It's something we've encountered once before, however Mrs C realised what was going on very quickly and ended things fairly soon into proceedings. Said couple requested to meet again, needless to say we declined.

Take a break to let the emotions settle, but then restart once recharged, and maybe review how you go about things.

Unfortunately whilst Fab has some great people on it, it also has a multitude of idiots who are only out for themselves. This is why we now mainly favour just rocking up at clubs and seeing how the night goes as it avoids the timewasters, fakes, endless socials without progression, people feeding you b/s etc.

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By *ustus5555Woman
24 weeks ago

Nottingham

"Unfortunately there are couples out there who will try an "wife steal" the fem from couples as they only really want the elusive "unicorn" that is rarely available. From personal experience we have found that especially newer couples seem to want fem/fem action, but can't deal with the fem being shared with another couple's male.

Take a break to let the emotions settle, but then restart once recharged, and maybe review how you go about things.

This 👍

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Sometimes it does happen x

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By *am7787 OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Rotherham

Thank you for your honest review I appreciate it. Jim

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By *ellyAndYammiTV/TS
24 weeks ago

eastbourne

People always going to take advantage if they can. But really got to be focused on your partner at all times and that goes for your wife.

To me it would be pretty obvious if a couple were totally blanking my wife and if my wife left the room due to such things, I’d be stopping play right away before she felt the need to do that no matter how much am enjoying myself. As I wouldn’t enjoy anything knowing wifey isn’t happy.

Definitely get moments in groups where someone is temporarily getting less attention but it should at most be fleeting. Know it’s easy to get wrapped up but I am only ever really thinking of wife, other people don’t matter that much to me to be honest until close after a long while knowing each other. Not a chance I’d let her just get sidelined for people barely know.

Kinda communication and understanding of each other needed to do it really.

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By *eyeYCouple
24 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

Take a break to let the emotions settle, but then restart once recharged, and maybe review how you go about things.

Very well put!

OP, applaud your honesty and we've experienced the same more than once with D being excluded, I have held my hands up in having not had his back as he does mine in every encounter.

I can be downright oblivious in the best of scenarios and have let things happen in an overwhelming club or party when caught up in the moment.

Zero excuses and he now knows to absolutely stop proceedings if he's being less than included, you did the right thing and it's an unfortunately well reported practice and guys shouldn't accept it unless that's their thing of course x

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By *punk AnansieWoman
24 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

The minute the male from the other half set up the whatsapp group to harp on about your misses and what he couldn't wait to do with her with what im assuming little to no mention of his partner kinda shows the red flag .. along with little to no mention from his partner and what she'd want..

At the pre drinks it seems you weren't getting out of the meet what you'd hope with the other woman. As you say she was pretty unresponsive to your advances , that would've been enough to show there wasn't really an interest that it was a case they really only wanted your partner , unfortunately you come with her so I suppose it was like throwing you a bone to keep you sweet till they got your partner ..

The fact it went on so far with you feeling uncomfortable , perhaps create clearer boundaries and rules to what you as a couple will and wont do .. and above all else don't forget to use your voice . The fact you disappeared to the toilet and wasn't missed says everything .

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