FabSwingers.com forum: In defence of single men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We see a lot of threads on here about how when a single man is rejected they often get abuse in return.

Although we get some pretty odd requests to meet immediately etc, whenever we turn them down (and we always do as we only meet in clubs) we have had replies like this.

1) fair enough

2) if you change your mind let us know

3) pity as Tor is gorgeous

4) ok, have fun

5) thanks for replying, good luck

and so on and so forth. We've yet to have any abuse or negative responses.

I'm not sure who these men are who leave such negative responses, but I suspect they're far fewer than some threads would have us believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always thank people for their response, good or bad, manners cost nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've also had all of the above; however, I've also had 'you're ugly' 'your fat' 'I didn't want to meet a slag like you' 'thought I'd see how far you'd travel and waste your time' as well.

I only meet with singles and predominantly single men, however, that doesn't mean I am single, female and desperate for cock. It seems to be those with that desperate mindset that get nasty. As a couple you wont get a 'desperate for cock' mindset so wont get the nasty ones either

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes I've also had all of the above; however, I've also had 'you're ugly' 'your fat' 'I didn't want to meet a slag like you' 'thought I'd see how far you'd travel and waste your time' as well.

I'm not so sure about the couple thing as many of the complaints are from couples as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a lot of men that cant take no for an answer and I have to block as they think just cause they are attracted to me were 'good to go'

However for the equilibrium I have also spoken to many very respectful men while I have been here.

Xxx

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"We see a lot of threads on here about how when a single man is rejected they often get abuse in return.

Although we get some pretty odd requests to meet immediately etc, whenever we turn them down (and we always do as we only meet in clubs) we have had replies like this.

1) fair enough

2) if you change your mind let us know

3) pity as Tor is gorgeous

4) ok, have fun

5) thanks for replying, good luck

and so on and so forth. We've yet to have any abuse or negative responses.

I'm not sure who these men are who leave such negative responses, but I suspect they're far fewer than some threads would have us believe.

Exactly. - unfortunately we live in a country were moaning is a national past time. It's easy to remember and talk about negative experiences. They also tend to stick in your mind. But like you I think out of all the messages I have received and responded to, only 1 was negative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I've also had all of the above; however, I've also had 'you're ugly' 'your fat' 'I didn't want to meet a slag like you' 'thought I'd see how far you'd travel and waste your time' as well.

I'm not so sure about the couple thing as many of the complaints are from couples as well. "

I get them, however sadly I expect to get them, so I wouldn't start a thread about it.

Just because it is highlighted sometimes in the form of a rant, doesn't mean it is the only time it happens.

In all honesty I don't even report anymore. The single could just open a new account in 30 sec's so I block and hope they keep their account, then it stays on my block list.

Only admin/mods will actually know how many reports come in. And like I said the unreported ones are just that.

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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I would agree single men do get a bad press on here and sometimes its not merited but like the others i have had both replies in answer to a no thank you from me . I feel that there is no need to be nasty when u get a negative answer to a request to meet as people do talk on the site and your nastiness would get around and will make it harder for you to get a meet anyway so single men , we do love you but remember be nice , if u dont want to meet a woman coz shes fat , ugly or whatever dont mail in the first place

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Thank you!

... and thank goodness someone has finally spoken out to give us a good word. All the "single male bashing" I've seen around here lately was starting to get a little disheartening - almost as though we weren't welcome.

For my part, I always try to be polite and understanding - I can't imagine why anyone would think it either beneficial or acceptable to be rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't be bothered with nasty,, like to think I'm one of the good ones,, I'm always polite and courteous x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't remember the last time I had a rude mail. Over a year probably. Perhaps there is a common denominator...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've always said thats its not just single guys that are abusive / persistent etc.

Most of the guys we've messaged with a "no thanks" have been very polite about it, obviously there were a few gobshites.

However we have received far more abusive and or persistent (wont take no ) messages from couples and single fems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having had both a single female and a mf couple profile on here, it's my personal experience that I had far far more abusive messages as a single female than we do as a couple. Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't remember the last time I had a rude mail. Over a year probably. Perhaps there is a common denominator..."

Yeah, I took all my filters off, for another thread recently, and had actually forgotten how bad it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only chat/meet single men and mostly younger and i would say that for me only about 5% are rude or abusive. I have met and spoken to some really nice men over the yrs of being on here and not had any experience that makes me want to leave or tar all single men with the same brush. Bring it on boys i say.. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have given up saying no thank you as I still get slagged off LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't remember the last time I had a rude mail. Over a year probably. Perhaps there is a common denominator...

Yeah, I took all my filters off, for another thread recently, and had actually forgotten how bad it was

I only have the 'no newbies' filter on. Shame there's not a 'no dickheads' filter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well OP i guess if you have never experienced it then we must all be liars..

Not overly sure why single males need defending.. if everyone thought badly of single males noone would be meeting any.. yet there are plenty of veris from single guys on woman/couples profiles..

i did a test for a while with a standard no thank you response of "thanks for your interest, but your not what im looking for, good luck in your search" and got enough grief to show me its not worth my time to reply!

was that in anyway an unpolite response?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Perhaps if you're attitude to a post is such then maybe that's why you get negative replies. I didn't call anyone a liar or indeed liars, but I suspect that there is a disproportionate number of negative threads about rude messages. Trying to bring out a bit of balance if that's ok by you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps if you're attitude to a post is such then maybe that's why you get negative replies. I didn't call anyone a liar or indeed liars, but I suspect that there is a disproportionate number of negative threads about rude messages. Trying to bring out a bit of balance if that's ok by you?"

well i think you will find as someone else said, not everyone starts a thread everytime they get hassle off someone.. i for one never have.. so therefore it occurs alot more often than the forums portray..

i wrote an example of the no thanks i sent.. was that negative?

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I look at it from the point that we read in here about the number of messages received by couples and single women. So if I send a message and get a reply, I do reply again thanking them for sending the response because I know they have probably waded through a lot in the first place.

Courtesy costs nothing, and despite what other people do on here, I will always maintain my own standards.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i wrote an example of the no thanks i sent.. was that negative?

Not everyone starts one but there's at least one a day on the subject or similar, I was trying to balance it. As for your response being negative, the reality is there are a lot of overly sensitive people on here and although I don't think it was, I suspect some would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wrote an example of the no thanks i sent.. was that negative?

yes and these overly sensitive people also are sensitive to the abuse..

offer advice, pep their confidence back up, but dont try and downgrade the situation by stating it never happens to you..

when someone gets that first bit of abuse it is a shock when what you eblieved you did was just be polite.. .it takes time to harden to it..

so a better was to defend single males would be to write something along the lines of "hey there are some people out there who act like idiots just because they are rejected, but there is loads of good fun guys, so dont take it personally people cos thats what they want :D"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sorry I wasn't aware that it not happening to us downgrades your situation? In fact I'm pretty sure I never said it doesn't happen. You've launched in here with the "we must all be liars" bollocks because you perceived that's what I meant when that's not what I said. Perhaps if you're overly sensitive then this isn't the best way of addressing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to get a lot of nasty replys when I said no thank you , so have now stopped saying no thank you and just deleat the message . I haven't had one nasty one since x

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By *itboyslim2Man
over a year ago

stevenage

wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I'd like to think so, but clearly not everyone agrees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on this site for over 4 years until recently,Ive never once had an abusive message sent back to me after saying no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was on this site for over 4 years until recently,Ive never once had an abusive message sent back to me after saying no thanks

Are you sure? I'm beginning to get the feeling it happens to us all the time I've just not noticed?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I used to get a lot of nasty replys when I said no thank you , so have now stopped saying no thank you and just deleat the message . I haven't had one nasty one since x "

When you delete the message do you then block? I'm interested because clearly some people still get nasty messages after they delete the message?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I don't get abuse from single men because I delete unread any message from anyone outwith what I'm looking for and send a lovely personalised message to those that meet what I'm looking for on paper, but I just don't want to meet for whatever reason.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

I've only had a couple of abusive/nasty messages in all the time I've been here, I just reported and blocked. I wasn't even arsed if admin took action.

Then again, I do think I'm in the minority as I don't get the thousands of inbox messages a day like some single females

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've only had a couple of abusive/nasty messages in all the time I've been here, I just reported and blocked. I wasn't even arsed if admin took action.

Then again, I do think I'm in the minority as I don't get the thousands of inbox messages a day like some single females

I think that those that get 100's of messages a day are in the minority. I can only imagine they spend ages chatting in chat rooms or on camera as that's the only time we are sent a load of messages in one go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to get a lot of nasty replys when I said no thank you , so have now stopped saying no thank you and just deleat the message . I haven't had one nasty one since x

When you delete the message do you then block? I'm interested because clearly some people still get nasty messages after they delete the message?"

Yes delete and block

block butten is the best bit on here lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent."

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry I wasn't aware that it not happening to us downgrades your situation? In fact I'm pretty sure I never said it doesn't happen. You've launched in here with the "we must all be liars" bollocks because you perceived that's what I meant when that's not what I said. Perhaps if you're overly sensitive then this isn't the best way of addressing it."

bollocks? i refer to..
"this I'm not sure who these men are who leave such negative responses, but I suspect they're far fewer than some threads would have us believe."

giving the examples of messages that happen to you.. its all saying well it dont happen to us so it cant be as bad as people make out..

from your own admissions you have no experience of the abusive guys so why make judgements on something you knwo nothing about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative. "

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to get a lot of nasty replys when I said no thank you , so have now stopped saying no thank you and just deleat the message . I haven't had one nasty one since x

When you delete the message do you then block? I'm interested because clearly some people still get nasty messages after they delete the message?"

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

I think filters and removing the ticks in what you are looking for cuts so many messages out, and those that know you are likely to say no (outside age/location/married/other unwanted and clearly stated in profile) seem to message in the desperate hope they will be the exception and then get snooty when declined

Also at the risk of upsetting peeps younger guys seem to get the hump quicker (based only on my experiences of talking with younger single women on here, looking for younger men)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward "

just aying u cant say some people want threads to be negative when it already is towards some people :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3) pity as Tor is gorgeous

Yep, that's the one I'd use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward "

This thread (well the OP) seems perfectly fine to me. It's usually only the outrageously angry people that take offense to every little thing that seem to have an issue with posts/ pm's.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Well this thread started with such promise...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward

just aying u cant say some people want threads to be negative when it already is towards some people :/"

And who started the negativity? Me? With the suggestion that not all men are abusive in messages? or you, who suggested I was calling people liars?

Can I suggest you re-read the original post and Identify where I called people liars or suggested people were never abusive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a few negative ones from both sexes which i used to get all worked up about; but not anymore

My views are that if you write a polite message to someone who's profile does NOT preclude you, then its only right to expect a reply I think - do you ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward

just aying u cant say some people want threads to be negative when it already is towards some people :/

And who started the negativity? Me? With the suggestion that not all men are abusive in messages? or you, who suggested I was calling people liars?

Can I suggest you re-read the original post and Identify where I called people liars or suggested people were never abusive?"

by listing the messages you get.. then stating its not as bad as threads make out.. that is very much, this is our experience so the rest of you must be lying and exageratting in your experiences..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

bollocks? i refer to.. this I'm not sure who these men are who leave such negative responses, but I suspect they're far fewer than some threads would have us believe.

giving the examples of messages that happen to you.. its all saying well it dont happen to us so it cant be as bad as people make out..

from your own admissions you have no experience of the abusive guys so why make judgements on something you knwo nothing about?

It wasn't a judgement, it was a statement saying that there were fewer than the sheer volume of threads on the subject would have us believe. you've managed to hijack this thread which was supposed to be positive, so thanks for that. Your interpretation of the original post is taken in such a way that no matter what I'd said you'd have taken offence.

So, for the offence you've taken from this thread I apologise. However for those that haven't taken offence or for those men who don't send abusive replies (and there are probably far more of those than do send abuse) I am still going to say well done and thank you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward

just aying u cant say some people want threads to be negative when it already is towards some people :/

And who started the negativity? Me? With the suggestion that not all men are abusive in messages? or you, who suggested I was calling people liars?

Can I suggest you re-read the original post and Identify where I called people liars or suggested people were never abusive?

by listing the messages you get.. then stating its not as bad as threads make out.. that is very much, this is our experience so the rest of you must be lying and exageratting in your experiences.. "

Except you're the only person who's seen it that way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right, just for the hard of thinking

I am not saying that people don't get abusive messages nor am I saying that people exaggerate the messages they get. I am however saying that there are a disproportionate number of threads mentioning and or slagging of men (mostly) who send abusive messages, We and a few others like ourselves do not get these messages and therefore I'd like to spring to the defence of those men who are not represented in more positive threads to say, it's not all of them and we don't (or haven't) get them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And breath everybody !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wow a thread with a positive message

This makes a nice change

I think that was the intent.

Yep, some people don't like that though sadly and would prefer all threads to be negative.

its very negative to those who have started threads on abuse..

pot kettle and all that

If you're referring to me, I don't think I've ever started one on abuse but then my memory is pretty poor these days. I think most of the ones I start are fairly straightforward

just aying u cant say some people want threads to be negative when it already is towards some people :/

And who started the negativity? Me? With the suggestion that not all men are abusive in messages? or you, who suggested I was calling people liars?

Can I suggest you re-read the original post and Identify where I called people liars or suggested people were never abusive?

by listing the messages you get.. then stating its not as bad as threads make out.. that is very much, this is our experience so the rest of you must be lying and exageratting in your experiences..

Except you're the only person who's seen it that way"

so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority of the single guys who have been in contact have been polite and friendly despite me saying no.

So the abusive ones defo minority

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right, just for the hard of thinking

i think a common cause if you look at the people who get abusive messages is they are curvy/bbw..

alot of abuse i have recieved reads along the lines of "you should be grateful a guy like me showed interest in you"

i think guys message these woman with the mindset of it not being a woman they would normally go for so therefore they must be gagging for soem attention.. and so when rejected its like the ultimate insult.. regardless of how polite the rejection is..

also they have obv gone through all the slim woman and so have had nothing but rejection after rejection and thought they had moved onto the guarenteed section out of desperation.. haha makes me laugh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i think a common cause if you look at the people who get abusive messages is they are curvy/bbw..

alot of abuse i have recieved reads along the lines of "you should be grateful a guy like me showed interest in you"

You see that makes sense to me. I don't agree with why they are doing it, but I do agree that what you say is probably true.

Some men are clearly so wrapped up in the concept that a single woman who enjoys swinging is clearly just gagging for it and therefore when they say no, they can't cope with the rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have our filters set and have never received any abuse from single guys (inc when we was looking for one) we replied to the ones who had obviously taken the time to read our profile and ignored the ones who hadn't, I.e out of age range etc, tbh we haven't had abuse as yet from anyone, I can see how it can go on, and it's such a shame that people get tarnished with the same brush, we've met a few single guys socially off here and they were cracking company, sometimes we've given advice to guys who have messaged us and we've said no thanks, but here's a few pointers, we are like a community after all x

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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Don't get me started on all the abusive single women on here who won't take 'no' for an answer. My block button is nearly worn out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a bbw so find that distasteful.

Isn't there a 'cheating' thread around?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I have had a few nasty messages in response to a polite thanks but no thanks during my time on fab. It has led me to stop replying to any messages that I'm not interested in. But it hasn't led me to tar all single males with the same brush and I have added into my profile the reason why I won't reply. Not that anyone reads it anyway!! Haha.

There are a lot if decent, well mannered single guys on here as well as the idiots. I could filter single males but that would of prevented some lovely messages and meets so I just ignore those I don't have interest in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a bbw so find that distasteful.

Isn't there a 'cheating' thread around?

why do you find it distastful? i have actually replied to some abusive guys and asked why they felt the need to send me such a reply, and this is the attitude they have..

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

If you're swinging, you've got to develop a thick skin, especially single guys. You've got to learn to take rejection in your stride since you're bound to get lots of them.

Those that can't deal with rejection are those that are more likely to be rude or abusive after they've had a "Thanks but no thanks" reply.

Getting a "Thanks but no thanks" reply to your email doesn't change the fact that your overture has been rejected, so I'm personally not fussed if I get a reply to my email or not. Neither will I consider it rude or bad manners.

I can tell if my email has been "unread & deleted", "read & deleted" or "not replied to after being read days ago". These convey the same message as a "Thanks but no thanks reply".

Most couples & females get lots & lots of emails every day & it is unreasonable in my opinion to expect them to do lots & lots of "Thanks but no thanks" replies everyday. I know I wouldn't if I had that much emails because I'd rather spend my time doing something more productive and I'll expect people to be able to take a hint if I delete their emails without replying, and be mature enough not to take it personally.

In reality though, quite a few people take it personally & get abusive. My advice to those who do this is "Grow up", and to those who get the abusive emails, "Delete & block".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a bbw so find that distasteful.

Isn't there a 'cheating' thread around?

why do you find it distastful? i have actually replied to some abusive guys and asked why they felt the need to send me such a reply, and this is the attitude they have..

I think this thread has enough negativity towards men, and it wasn't even supposed to have.

Men only email bbw's when they've gone through all the skinny's?

The men that email bbw's do so with the mindset, they should be grateful for any attention?

Glossing over the fact that skinny women also get nasty messages,

anything else you would like to input???

I actually meet with single men and I love single men. Yes I might have contributed and played a little bit of devils advocate but anyone looking at my profile will know I'm only looking for singles. Shock horror I email single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

I didn't know untill someone told me that once you block all messages you have sent them wether read or not delet from there in box . So sending a no thank you and then blocking is point less as the no thank you will never be read x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a bbw so find that distasteful.

Isn't there a 'cheating' thread around?

why do you find it distastful? i have actually replied to some abusive guys and asked why they felt the need to send me such a reply, and this is the attitude they have..

I think this thread has enough negativity towards men, and it wasn't even supposed to have.

Men only email bbw's when they've gone through all the skinny's?

The men that email bbw's do so with the mindset, they should be grateful for any attention?

Glossing over the fact that skinny women also get nasty messages,

anything else you would like to input???

i have never stated it is ALL men..

but this is what i have experienced and this is the mindset of SOME people..

i dont know why people take almost everything as it must mean all men

when i meet i meet single males mainly.. so shock horror there too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lolol! She does and she also speaks her mind too!! Dont hold back!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

Lol, and that's the first new thing I've learned today! (if true)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

no it doesnt do that on this site..

it just creates the threads entitled "why do so many people block its so rude!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a bbw so find that distasteful.

Isn't there a 'cheating' thread around?

why do you find it distastful? i have actually replied to some abusive guys and asked why they felt the need to send me such a reply, and this is the attitude they have..

I think this thread has enough negativity towards men, and it wasn't even supposed to have.

Men only email bbw's when they've gone through all the skinny's?

The men that email bbw's do so with the mindset, they should be grateful for any attention?

Glossing over the fact that skinny women also get nasty messages,

anything else you would like to input???

i have never stated it is ALL men..

but this is what i have experienced and this is the mindset of SOME people..

i dont know why people take almost everything as it must mean all men

when i meet i meet single males mainly.. so shock horror there too?"

Isn't it annoying when people cherry pick out what they WANT to hear from someone's comments and blow them out of proportion??

Ben behave yourself

I know your game and I aint spending the weekend on the naughty step, no matter how bored you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a bbw so find that distasteful.

Isn't there a 'cheating' thread around?

why do you find it distastful? i have actually replied to some abusive guys and asked why they felt the need to send me such a reply, and this is the attitude they have..

I think this thread has enough negativity towards men, and it wasn't even supposed to have.

Men only email bbw's when they've gone through all the skinny's?

The men that email bbw's do so with the mindset, they should be grateful for any attention?

Glossing over the fact that skinny women also get nasty messages,

anything else you would like to input???

i have never stated it is ALL men..

but this is what i have experienced and this is the mindset of SOME people..

i dont know why people take almost everything as it must mean all men

when i meet i meet single males mainly.. so shock horror there too?

Isn't it annoying when people cherry pick out what they WANT to hear from someone's comments and blow them out of proportion??

Ben behave yourself

I know your game and I aint spending the weekend on the naughty step, no matter how bored you are

yh so if someone does that then explain it better.. oh yh i did that..

i have no problem with it.. just made myself clearer.. such is life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ben behave yourself

I know your game and I aint spending the weekend on the naughty step, no matter how bored you are

Lolol

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Lord Above!!! I too have never had an abusive reply to my polite thanks but no thanks, but I'm almost scared to post in case I get accused of calling those who do liars

I think the reason I don't get that sort of reply is that my initial numpty filter means that anyone who doesn't send me a joke (ie hasn't read my profile) is blocked immediately which gets rid of the majority of the chancers...whatever it is, I've met some amazing single guys and long may it continue!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry T, so yeah single men are great and get a lot of bad press,

Mostly those causing the nastiness don't even use the forums though

Round of applause to the fab single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/06/13 13:02:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lord Above!!! I too have never had an abusive reply to my polite thanks but no thanks, but I'm almost scared to post in case I get accused of calling those who do liars

depends how you word it caz.. i gave a fine example of saying the same thing with no need to belittle anyone..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to pick up on the bbw comments above. I'm a skinny minnie and I've had abusive insulting messages so I think guys just pick on something they think will hurt our feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to pick up on the bbw comments above. I'm a skinny minnie and I've had abusive insulting messages so I think guys just pick on something they think will hurt our feelings."

oh gosh yes totally..

but lets look at threads/posts that go on about punching above their weight.. thats the sort of attitude im saying exsists behind alot of abuse a larger lady would get..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to pick up on the bbw comments above. I'm a skinny minnie and I've had abusive insulting messages so I think guys just pick on something they think will hurt our feelings.

oh gosh yes totally..

but lets look at threads/posts that go on about punching above their weight.. thats the sort of attitude im saying exsists behind alot of abuse a larger lady would get.. "

Exactly. Or a sad old scrawny whore as one charmer called me! Obviously ladies are only on Fab coz we can't get a shag in real life and are soooooo desperate we'll bonk anything so how very dare we say no to them???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to pick up on the bbw comments above. I'm a skinny minnie and I've had abusive insulting messages so I think guys just pick on something they think will hurt our feelings.

oh gosh yes totally..

but lets look at threads/posts that go on about punching above their weight.. thats the sort of attitude im saying exsists behind alot of abuse a larger lady would get..

yes and i didnt mean my bbw to offend, its just as a bbw thats the experience i can only go on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lord Above!!! I too have never had an abusive reply to my polite thanks but no thanks, but I'm almost scared to post in case I get accused of calling those who do liars

depends how you word it caz.. i gave a fine example of saying the same thing with no need to belittle anyone.. "

And just to clarify, you felt that YOU were belittled by taking my original post and reading it in a way that you felt belittles you. You then came up with a different way I should have written my original post. I'm sorry, but I didn't belittle anyone in my original post, nor did I call them liars, nor did I suggest that people don't receive messages that were abusive (quite the opposite) you've just headed off with a bit of selective reading and decided that's what I meant.

You then told me I shouldn't post about things I know nothing about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well this thread started with such promise...

Apparently it didn't, it started with me calling people liars and being abusive towards all people who are sensitive to something or other. Anyway I give up on trying to please people who clearly have no idea about being happy.

Peace and Love Man (or indeed woman)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lord Above!!! I too have never had an abusive reply to my polite thanks but no thanks, but I'm almost scared to post in case I get accused of calling those who do liars

what she said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the 4 years that I e been here, I've only had one abusive message from a guy who was all over me at the meet but didn't like it when I told him I wasn't interested

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just to pick up on the bbw comments above. I'm a skinny minnie and I've had abusive insulting messages so I think guys just pick on something they think will hurt our feelings.

oh gosh yes totally..

but lets look at threads/posts that go on about punching above their weight.. thats the sort of attitude im saying exsists behind alot of abuse a larger lady would get.. "

I'm amongst the larger ladies on site and don't get abusive messages. My theory is some people have names like "sluttycocklover" etc, write about not being happy with themselves and feel flattered when men approach them.

Predatory males then contact these women and get upset that these (types off) women are turning them down. Their egos have had a kicking and they lash out like petulant children.

Ladies, recognise your worth, be aware of who is reading your self deprecating comments and reply to only those that meet what YOU are looking for. You'll be surprised!

Just my £0.02 worth of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a nice single non pushy and polite man if any of u beautiful ladies want me lol x

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By *BC TWOCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Leicester / Birmingham /Bucks

"I'm not sure who these men are who leave such negative responses, but I suspect they're far fewer than some threads would have us believe.

Excatly! it's not that bad at all but some women over exaggerate and make it out that most guys on here are absolute wankers. I made a fake female profile for observation purpose...99% of the messages that through had face pics attached and yet you get some women putting on their status "OMG i'm leaving this site if i get 1 more message without a facepic!!!!"

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Predatory males then contact these women and get upset that these (types off) women are turning them down. Their egos have had a kicking and they lash out like petulant children.

Ladies, recognise your worth, be aware of who is reading your self deprecating comments and reply to only those that meet what YOU are looking for. You'll be surprised!

Just my £0.02 worth of course."

Well said! Love from your stalker

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Lord Above!!! I too have never had an abusive reply to my polite thanks but no thanks, but I'm almost scared to post in case I get accused of calling those who do liars

depends how you word it caz.. i gave a fine example of saying the same thing with no need to belittle anyone.. "

To be completely honest Brenda, it was you I was referring to with my first paragraph...I thought you over-reacted to an inoffensive, positive OP with your 'must be liars' comment (soz I'm on my phone n can't work out how to do multiple quotes) and then kinda carried on being affronted throughout the thread. I saw no belittling by the OP myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv been saying thanks for replying and good luck in your search for two years lol. A no doesnt affect me as much...i know im not for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just as torjames' OP, we too have never had a single abusive message.

We just ignore the ones we're not interested in (which tbh, is most of them), and that seems to be the end of it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

That doesn't happen, the person you have blocked can still see the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tor....it was a good thread until...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

That doesn't happen, the person you have blocked can still see the message.

I thought so coz someone sent me a shitty message a while back then blocked me but I could still see it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

That doesn't happen, the person you have blocked can still see the message.

It appears I haven't learned something new today at all

apart from Tor looks even more gorgeous in sunshine (although I did suspect that)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The majority of the single guys who have been in contact have been polite and friendly despite me saying no.

So the abusive ones defo minority

I agree with this. Not everyone is abusive just because people say no as most of us realise that everyone has different tastes in people physically and personality wise. Although you have to be blind not to find this person extremely gorgeous and looking incredibly tasty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will never know who these gents are, as I usually block the gents after saying no to prevent any comeback.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP...we don't get abusive mails normally either. We normally reply to all mails and most of the time get a thankyou back.

The odd time we have had someone throwing their toys out of the pram is few and far between.

As far as I am concerned on the whole we encounter polite men

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sure there are men who are mean and arses etc, in the same way that I'm sure that in the general population there are plenty of arses as well, the internet gives people anonymity to make these statements, however, even with that, many men (and couples/women) are decent, polite and generally nice a lot like the general population.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Well, I've been here for a few years now and yes I have had a few shitty messages as well, most have actually been from guys I've never even spoke to before, let alone rejected, so go figure that one!

The only single men that piss me off are the one's who have not bothered to read my profile and the amount of "in Abz hotel fancy a meet", but I wont rant on about it....oops I already have

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I've spoken to ladies and been shown some of the messages that they get from single guys, and to be frank, sometimes it's embarrassing to be from the species as some of these morons.

The thing is, that these "one liner plus cock shot" type of guys, who are usually the ones to hurl abuse when they don't get replies or get refused, won't be here on forums, as it involves stringing sentences together and discussion. So getting all beat up about it in a forum won't solve the problem. At least giving some credit to the guys who do interact in a polite and civilized manner gets some balance and provides encouragement to the decent guys, especially to those who do visit forums and interact.

I may be wrong of course, and would really like to hear from a guy who does send one liners and cock shots to explain why they do it and if they do ever "score" as a result. I mean, are there people (who may not own up to it) who DO respond to this kind of messaging? I can only wonder as there does seem to be a persistence and an expectation amongst these guys that send these messages and who vent their anger at getting turned down, that you are led into thinking that either they ARE totally brain dead, or there ARE people who they expect to score with ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect there are people that do respond to cock shot/one liners, as there are people that go into clubs and allow anyone a 'turn'; it gives the men a false sense of 'swingers' as a whole. Be it online with messages (on a sex site) or in clubs when they try again to touch without asking and are knocked back & possibly embarrassed/frustrated by that

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Predatory males then contact these women and get upset that these (types off) women are turning them down. Their egos have had a kicking and they lash out like petulant children.

Ladies, recognise your worth, be aware of who is reading your self deprecating comments and reply to only those that meet what YOU are looking for. You'll be surprised!

Just my £0.02 worth of course.

Well said! Love from your stalker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to say I will always reply with a thank you for the reply or something similar but in some cases with that I have had abuse from couples and single females. It's all a case of swings and roundabouts but I'm more of the live and let live type.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Bloke here, part of the problem is single men's perception of why girls areon this site, they seem to assume they will meet at the drop of a hat, anyone, anywhere just cos they message you or are close or the guys thinks you are compatible. It's a bizarre attitude if you ask me, surely this cross section of human life is much like any other, wherever one may meet, there has to be attraction and desire. I hate abuse of any nature, just seems so entirely unecessary.

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By *incs-cpl1Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Most responses we get from single guys are generally polite and/or gentle persuasion.

We did once have mail from a very upset guy who felt he was entitled to a 3some that night based purely on us having viewed his profile a couple of hours earlier.

Although some single guys can be a pain in the arse, our block list has only collected 2 guys in 2 years, so all things considered, they're no worse than some couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had a few nasty messages in response to a polite thanks but no thanks during my time on fab. It has led me to stop replying to any messages that I'm not interested in. But it hasn't led me to tar all single males with the same brush and I have added into my profile the reason why I won't reply. Not that anyone reads it anyway!! Haha.

I'm the same...the abusive messages were probably about equal to the 'no problem' type messages when I used to reply (most no thank messages were just deleted). However the abuse I did get has put me off replying to those I'm not interested in as, although there wasn't a big number of guys that sent those kind of messages, getting them wasn't pleasant so I decided to reduce my risk and stop sending the no thanks messages. Have rarely had abuse since, and it tends to be less personal...must take more effort to create a new message to send abuse than to hit reply! Either that or the guys that send abuse email that many women at a time I'm no longer showing in their outbox when I hit the delete button?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the Golden rules of Swinging..No means No!...guys who are abusive after a No are not real swingers

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I expect there are people that do respond to cock shot/one liners, as there are people that go into clubs and allow anyone a 'turn'; it gives the men a false sense of 'swingers' as a whole. Be it online with messages (on a sex site) or in clubs when they try again to touch without asking and are knocked back & possibly embarrassed/frustrated by that

Our first meet was with a man who sent us a one line mail that made us both laugh out loud which in turn started the conversation towards a meet.

From the implications of your post that translates to I will open my legs and let anyone shag me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

That doesn't happen, the person you have blocked can still see the message.

It appears I haven't learned something new today at all

apart from Tor looks even more gorgeous in sunshine (although I did suspect that)

Not forgetting that she has a lovely bum

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I got into a habit of 'thanks but no..' then blocking and deleting before.

)

That doesn't happen, the person you have blocked can still see the message.

It appears I haven't learned something new today at all

apart from Tor looks even more gorgeous in sunshine (although I did suspect that)

Not forgetting that she has a lovely bum

She does! Very spankable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks to the OP for recognising that not all single guys are the same, it was like a breath of fresh air reading it

Still amazes me in this thread and others how folk still manage to create an argument when the OPs intentions appear to be nice

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