FabSwingers.com forum: REPEAT THREADS

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A lot of threads which are good for advice but boring for the forums regulars get abused by people sick to death of them, its a shame because some important topics are discussed

things like

MARRIED AND CHEATING

BAREBACK

SWINGERS CLUBS

HOLIDAYS

SINGLE FEMALES

SINGLE MALES NOT HAVING ANY LUCK

etc

I do have a suggestion to anyone wishing to find some answers, BEFORE you post a new topic thread click on the box in the left hand column

SEARCH THREADS

this will find previous threads on the subject some as old as a year ago

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Is this a new rule then or your rule?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

the forums are not just for regulars. There are new people all the time coming through the site.

1. they may not have seen the threads they wish to discuss discussed before.

2. They are allowed to start a thread with any subject as long as it doesn't break site rules.

3. If any regulars don't think they are going to like the content because they have seen it all before, they don't have to read it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to see if peoples views change from topic to topic, if a thread doesn't merrit reading or replying we pass it by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We like to see if peoples views change from topic to topic, if a thread doesn't merrit reading or replying we pass it by.

Same here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think your being silly now, I may not be clever but I do have enough braincells to know that the only people on here making rules are the site owners.

It was simply a bit of advice to new forum users because often a good question doesnt recieve the response it deserves as regular forum posters who might have good advice are fed up of answering the same old questions

Pardon me for trying to help the newbies

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am not going to argue with you so this is the only post I will say now.

No I am not being silly, your post came across as you telling people what they should do, even if you used the word "suggest"

As for helping newbies, maybe just letting them decide what to post is the best option. If regulars are fed up of answering peoples questions, they don't have to.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We like to see if peoples views change from topic to topic, if a thread doesn't merrit reading or replying we pass it by.

Same here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this a new rule then or your rule?"

pmsl ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have the rights to post what they wish.

But if it falls within the forum or site rules then ban them.

But i can see where the OP is coming from as there seems to be an avalanche of repeat threads but i just ignore them as its possible i would had commented before on the issue.

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

we aint newbs,but two days ago was first time we used forums,not because we couldnt use/find it,because we just liked to read and then post,its a helpful thing thats been said at start of post as most peple joining now are really new to not just this forum but advanced forums like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like it when Rugby has her " strict " hat on,

even if I did think it was a reasonable suggestion.

do I get spanked now Rugby ????

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

god I love repeat threads....

I am having the weirdest case of de ja vu.. I swear I saw exactly the same thing in the lounge

nice to have the rules laid down for us... I suddenly feel less worthy!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And another thing i would like to add.

Would it not be possible for admin to sticky the threads the OP has mentioned??

Just a suggestion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"god I love repeat threads....

I am having the weirdest case of de ja vu.. I swear I saw exactly the same thing in the lounge

nice to have the rules laid down for us... I suddenly feel less worthy!!! "

So it is....

Oh the irony

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I like it when Rugby has her " strict " hat on,

even if I did think it was a reasonable suggestion.

do I get spanked now Rugby ????

No plums, it is the whip this week.......do you want that instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never ceases to amaze me the number of people on here who manage to get the wrong ends of sticks!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately though, some people always tend to hold the shitty end away from themselves

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

reply to a thread,its the reason for a forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"reply to a thread,its the reason for a forum"
exactly but i thought this thread was already done

but on another note

need 2 think that some newbies may have not done this before

so just help then an point them in the right direction

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By *eicsbimaleMan
over a year ago

loughborough

I agree with you Jed. To many threads just use up server space and that costs cash, not a lot but it all adds up. It seems to me that some people are treating the threads more like mini chat rooms and dilutes the subject beyound reason. Bet i am hated for this but as you say threads are for comments....

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

exactly,lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I agree with you Jed. To many threads just use up server space and that costs cash, not a lot but it all adds up. It seems to me that some people are treating the threads more like mini chat rooms and dilutes the subject beyound reason. Bet i am hated for this but as you say threads are for comments...."

Exactly, everyone is welcome and can comment as they like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally i think people who moan about other who start topics that have already been covered are rude, there are lots of new people who need advice, maybe dont know how to search for old threads, maybe dont know you can sreach for old thread, they not hurting anyone.

If you was talking to someone in real life about a subject and two days later someone else asked you about the same thing would you say

Oh ffs i was talking about this the other day, shut up will you and change the topic?!!!!

i doubt it

its just easy to be rude to people while you sat behind a monitor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of threads which are good for advice but boring for the forums regulars get abused by people sick to death of them, its a shame because some important topics are discussed

things like

MARRIED AND CHEATING

BAREBACK

SWINGERS CLUBS

HOLIDAYS

SINGLE FEMALES

SINGLE MALES NOT HAVING ANY LUCK

etc

I do have a suggestion to anyone wishing to find some answers, BEFORE you post a new topic thread click on the box in the left hand column

SEARCH THREADS

this will find previous threads on the subject some as old as a year ago"

I have read this several times now and all I can see is a genuine attempt by the OP to offer some very sound advice to the new folk who come into the forums.

It is not rude and it's certainly not intended to be a NEW RULE

The part of the post that has almost certainly flown over the heads of some is as follows

"A lot of threads which are good for advice but boring for the forums regulars get abused by people sick to death of them, its a shame because some important topics are discussed"

You need to break it down as follows to understand what Jed was ACTUALLY saying

"A lot of threads which are good for advice"

"but boring for the forum regulars"

"get abused by people sick to death of them"

"it's a shame because some important topics are discussed"

When you isolate each part you can now quite clearly see that all Jed was trying to say was that

To avoid the inevitable berating at the hands of regular forumites....

Go look at how brokensailor got treated in the bareback thread

you may want to have a look through some previous threads on your topic of interest which will not only give you the answers you seek but also show what other forumites thoughts on that subject are.

Jed's well intentioned advice as to how to research subjects on here to get a feel for forum opinion is absolutely spot on.

Hands up those about to apologise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/10 00:39:04]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sorry 2bonk, but my opinion stands.

Everyone is allowed to post as they wish as long as it doesn't break any rules.

No rules are broken by started threads that have been started before, no matter who it pees off.

Maybe just leaving people to have fun on the forums in their own way won't get a reaction you don't need when you try and tell people what to do.

We are all adults, maybe start treated people like it would be the best option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/10 00:40:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry 2bonk, but my opinion stands.

Everyone is allowed to post as they wish as long as it doesn't break any rules.

No rules are broken by started threads that have been started before, no matter who it pees off.

Maybe just leaving people to have fun on the forums in their own way won't get a reaction you don't need when you try and tell people what to do.

We are all adults, maybe start treated people like it would be the best option."

Jed never implied people could not start any post they choose to make.

Jed never implied any rule was being broken.

Jed never even tried tried to suggest a new rule.

All he offered was an alternative for the new folk on here to the standard format of "ask an often asked question and then have all the regular forumites tear you a new arse for repetition"

We may well all be adults in here but go watch the "adult" responses to all the subject headings he quotes every time a new person asks the question.

His advice was sound and very very well intentioned and rather than being belittled as he was he should be applauded for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here here weve known jed a good number of years and always known him to be most obliging with excellent advice, and never have we known him belittle anyone,this is another case of someone reading into things that are not there ,turning it into another bitching forum as many others finish up on here.another reason we dont get involved in the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here here weve known jed a good number of years and always known him to be most obliging with excellent advice, and never have we known him belittle anyone,this is another case of someone reading into things that are not there ,turning it into another bitching forum as many others finish up on here.another reason we dont get involved in the forums"

First time I read it I "jumped to the obvious conclusion" but once you re read it you can quite easily see what he was trying to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as we say we know jed of old so in no way did we find it at all offensive.once again another sound piece of advice...others should take more note before jumping to conclusions,...i for one wouldnt like to be at the bar infront of a magistrate that came to the wrong decision that quickly lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sems a lot of people thought the same way.

But as it is now bedtime, it will have to be a case of agree to disagree for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a difference between giving advice, as Jed was doing, and being plain rude as a lot who reply to repeat topic threads do, if people can give advice to stop newbies getting abuse thats got to be a good thing, its ok people telling them to do a search etc but as a newbie you wont know how to do that or even if you can

Surely polite advice is alwasy welcome?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Maybe the advice is aimed at the wrong people then?

Maybe rather then advise newbies to search threads potentially up to a year old to escape the wrath of the regulars, it should be advising the regulars who don't like the thread title to not read it and post rude replies.

Just a thought.

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By *lurmMan
over a year ago

Swansea-ish

The thing is..as well intentioned as Jed's post was, after a few days it will disappear down the list - thereby making it redundant...

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Maybe the advice is aimed at the wrong people then?

Just a thought.

would have to agree with Rugby on this 1

new folks dont know its been covered so ask the question however regulars know how this thing works and so should be the ones to use it right and not bother posting if it so offends them.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Problem with threads like this is just like the threads mentioned by the OP, this will sink to the depths and change nothing in the way newbies post, so sorry to say but as useful as the suggestions may be, they will never be truly useful, not in the long run anyway, right here right now, but once it's further down the list of threads.

as someone mentioned on this thread, would it be at all possible to make some threads sticky? or even create a new forum with all the better advice giving threads there, maybe make it so only the mods can move threads there and nobody can start a thread in that section, then when anyone posts asking for said advice they can simply be pointed to that section of the forum.

just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is..as well intentioned as Jed's post was, after a few days it will disappear down the list - thereby making it redundant...

ah, we must have been posting at the same time, I'm not called slow fingers for nothing.

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By *lurmMan
over a year ago

Swansea-ish

"The thing is..as well intentioned as Jed's post was, after a few days it will disappear down the list - thereby making it redundant...

ah, we must have been posting at the same time, I'm not called slow fingers for nothing.

Heheheh - or perhaps I am just a man of few(er) words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

freedom a speach 2 everyone

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

do you know what.. there are ways of doing it without belittling people...

for example... how many people looked at the way it was dealt with yesterday in the "bareback thread"

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/17614

do I think that was done the right way... no.... in fact I think it couldn't have been done much worse....

so it can be done tactfully... or you do it thundering in with the tact of a brick......

it had been up all day.. if there are threads you don't like, it could have been ignored, move on... I know... radical suggestion!!!

there are ways of encouraging people... and there are ways of destroying new peoples confidence...

If I was a newbie... and saw what happened in that thread, I would think twice about posting for fear of being jumped on

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"do you know what.. there are ways of doing it without belittling people...

for example... how many people looked at the way it was dealt with yesterday in the "bareback thread"

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/17614

do I think that was done the right way... no.... in fact I think it couldn't have been done much worse....

so it can be done tactfully... or you do it thundering in with the tact of a brick......

it had been up all day.. if there are threads you don't like, it could have been ignored, move on... I know... radical suggestion!!!

there are ways of encouraging people... and there are ways of destroying new peoples confidence...

If I was a newbie... and saw what happened in that thread, I would think twice about posting for fear of being jumped on"

Problem is the nasty people on the forums are going to be the ones that eventually kill them as new folks that get bashed just wont bother posting again so the numbers will slowly drop and all that will be left are the nasty comments bunch that hang around here.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe if admin etc regularly deleted the more abusive responses it would stop the new folk on here feeling as if they have committed some sort of heinous crime every time they ask an innocent question.

I read in a thread yesterday of one guy who left the site for a year as he was so disillusioned after being attacked for asking the wrong questions on here, that simply cannot be right.

But if we accept that it's the right of new folk on here to ask any question they want at any time as they are not breaking any rules, then we have to accept the right of regular forumites to politely voice their anger at the continual repetition.

The manner in which some questions are asked are naturally offensive to some. The endless procession of single guys complaining "Been here a week now and not shagged anyone yet" is always going to get the hackles of some folk up, rightly so in some cases. There are plenty of other repetitive thread subjects that are going to incur the wrath of some regular posters

If admin were forward thinking the obvious solution would be to start a new forum for “Newbies” with a host of “stickies” on all the usual subjects. On joining the site new folk could be directed to the forum and advised to read through the various threads. Mods could monitor the forum removing any unhelpful posts and ensuring that each thread remains pertinent and subjects could be added or removed as is seen fit.

In the meantime we can always maintain the status quo, allow all polite new enquiries, allow all subsequent polite “new arse tearing” and accept that some folk will never post again for fear of pissing folk off

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Abusive posts are always removed and if a poster carries on they are blocked from posting at all.

If anyone sees any abuse that the mods have missed, hit the Report button to the side of the post and it will be removed that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've just posted what I was going to say 2tbw lol. Phew, saved me all that typing!

All I'd add is that with the unrestricted forum as it stands, it is obvious who the nasties are. A few times I've pm'd people to lend them support when they've been shot down in flames if I've thought they were being targeted wrongly. Posting on a thread is an obvious way of lending support.

I'm not sure I understand why a post offering and discussing forum changes should become negative? Even as I'm typing, I'm aware anything I write might be taken wrongly and torn to shreds. Surely this just indicates the state of the forum as it is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Abusive posts are always removed and if a poster carries on they are blocked from posting at all.

If anyone sees any abuse that the mods have missed, hit the Report button to the side of the post and it will be removed that way."

Perhaps abusive was a slightly emotive choice of word. Perhaps I should have used "FFS not this again" or something similar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One problem is that those who are regularly on the forum know how to work round the abusive bit. Wrap a couple of 'xx' and '

' in a message and it's fine. We've all seen it. Doesn't make it any less nasty but certainly does give an idea of how sad someone might be.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I know it annoys a lot of people when that happens, but if it is a posters opinion and if it contains no abuse in the post, then that is allowed.

But I can see where you are coming from.

As I have said before , it would be good if anyone who gets peed off easy with certain subjects just try and avoid them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some ppl get classed as a nasty

when they arent realy..an gets blocked

for nothing 2 an some post can get read

wrong just by the way u put it down xx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"One problem is that those who are regularly on the forum know how to work round the abusive bit. Wrap a couple of 'xx' and '

' in a message and it's fine. We've all seen it. Doesn't make it any less nasty but certainly does give an idea of how sad someone might be."

Sadly, your post is spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always do xx after a post

it dont make me a nasty

but yea i agree there are ppl

who put things down nasty but

put it down so no one notices how

nasty they are being..now that does my

head in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would a newbie know this thread was here in the first place if they never done a search or don't know how to.

First instinct is to make a new thread which could possibly be covered on numerous occasions.

I am on other forums and they have stickys with site rules and a couple do say to avoid clogging up the site by starting new or repeat threads could they do a search on the subject first.

If admin done that here it might just halve the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its not the forum.. it's the users.

it reflect life and the mixed bunch out there.

some nice..

some not so nice..

some who are accountable for their own behaviour..

some who never accept any responsibility

some reads the threads to get a view on how things work here..

some just jump in..

there is no golden nugget that is going to please all or make it easier for all.

it is afterall a site to meet/interact people and if people don't like the way people post.. dont meet them and ignore em.

or if issues are had... pm them and rant there. Sadly people make the wee snidy comments knowing they have blocked people and there is only 3 options

respond on forum..

ignore and dont respond but hold a grievance from now till dooms day..

or ignore, laugh and get on with the more important things in life... family friends and being happy.

I have done all of them in the past but thro time realise that option 3 is the only true path to take.

welcome all newbies.. have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Option 3 works for me

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"If admin done that here it might just halve the problem."

Admin have stated publicly on numerous occasions they run this voluntary, the more advanced members wish the site to be would undoubtedly involve employing someone, that has a knock on effect, where subscriptions would have to be increased, I for one am happy with the small amount we pay, and wouldn't wish to see any further increases, overall, we believe admin do pretty good job trying to keep everyone happy.

And if you think this is an bum licking post

you're correct!

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