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Single Guys in Clubs …

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone

……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that

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By *ormagenericlblokeMan
19 weeks ago

Hertfordshire

So I am on a single male profile now and have been in the past. But also used to be on a couples profile. (Just saying this for context to my answer)

I haven't been to a club as a solo guy, but I am looking to, just recently time and work around xmas was hell.

I have been put off in the past, because when I went to clubs as a couple, there was always random guys around. Some felt creepy, some just felt really lonely. Others were cocky arrogant twats. There were a few exceptions.

Given my adhd, I don't even know how I will be in social situations, so it worries me I may just be sat there like a prize plum and end up looking like one of the guys I described.

I am going to go to one of the daytime clubs/events this year though and see how I feel.

Sorry for the convoluted response, I just wanted to explain fully.

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By *nexpectedMMan
19 weeks ago

Here

[Removed by poster at 08/01/26 10:38:20]

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By *nexpectedMMan
19 weeks ago

Here

Pre-Covid I was a club regular. Hardly used Fab.

But then my vanilla life took over and I just needed to focus on myself and various different things.

I’ve been back to clubs post Covid, but the vibe was different.

Hopefully I’ll get back to it soon now I’m able to. Just need the right opportunity to be honest as my weeks are just so busy.

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


"So I am on a single male profile now and have been in the past. But also used to be on a couples profile. (Just saying this for context to my answer)

I haven't been to a club as a solo guy, but I am looking to, just recently time and work around xmas was hell.

I have been put off in the past, because when I went to clubs as a couple, there was always random guys around. Some felt creepy, some just felt really lonely. Others were cocky arrogant twats. There were a few exceptions.

Given my adhd, I don't even know how I will be in social situations, so it worries me I may just be sat there like a prize plum and end up looking like one of the guys I described.

I am going to go to one of the daytime clubs/events this year though and see how I feel.

Sorry for the convoluted response, I just wanted to explain fully."

Sincerely hope you do go. As you have been previously as a couple, you may well be more conscious about not being “one of those” and really enjoy it. Agreed, there are some who just don’t get how to behave, but why let the few get in the way of potentially making some great connections.

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


"Pre-Covid I was a club regular. Hardly used Fab.

But then my vanilla life took over and I just needed to focus on myself and various different things.

I’ve been back to clubs post Covid, but the vibe was different.

Hopefully I’ll get back to it soon now I’m able to. Just need the right opportunity to be honest as my weeks are just so busy.

"

So we never went pre-covid but have heard many people, couples and singles, say the same. And lack of free time is a great barrier too.

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By *parky123Man
19 weeks ago

Lincoln

Speaking to people (locally), there’s a lot of single men who seem wary/scared of clubs. They can be a little intimidating, if you’re alone and expect similar reactions to how some people can be on here. It’s not helped by (I believe) a couple of factors - 1) the closest club here is quite remote so generally means you have to drive, which means people can’t drink, 2) a lot of clubs have pricing structures for single men that make it very expensive by the time you add in any transport or hotel costs.

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By *ormagenericlblokeMan
19 weeks ago

Hertfordshire


"So I am on a single male profile now and have been in the past. But also used to be on a couples profile. (Just saying this for context to my answer)

I haven't been to a club as a solo guy, but I am looking to, just recently time and work around xmas was hell.

I have been put off in the past, because when I went to clubs as a couple, there was always random guys around. Some felt creepy, some just felt really lonely. Others were cocky arrogant twats. There were a few exceptions.

Given my adhd, I don't even know how I will be in social situations, so it worries me I may just be sat there like a prize plum and end up looking like one of the guys I described.

I am going to go to one of the daytime clubs/events this year though and see how I feel.

Sorry for the convoluted response, I just wanted to explain fully.

Sincerely hope you do go. As you have been previously as a couple, you may well be more conscious about not being “one of those” and really enjoy it. Agreed, there are some who just don’t get how to behave, but why let the few get in the way of potentially making some great connections. "

I definitely will, its more a logistical thing now

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By *nvader2021Couple
19 weeks ago

Watford

Morning all… Just as an add, we’re not particularly experienced in club settings (attended 2 nights in total) but did choose an event night at a club where a select group of single invited guys were in attendance.

We felt the evening worked well because of this and it was the reason we chose to go.

We’d likely choose an event like this again but would be put off by the “wanking dead” a term that we’ve heard coined before. Whether that’s a fair term or not we don’t know

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By *moothLeanBodMan
19 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I've attended one club on two occasions and, although the first trip was a little frustrating (witnessing other single guys literally just stalking women from room to room) I was invited to play with a couple in a private room. The second visit was more pleasurable.

I think i stopped going partly because of cost, because I like to form connections, but also I don't want to be perceived as one of those single guys referred to above.

Sorry, not dumping, but it's a valid reason that does need discussing. I've experienced ot in male saunas too, to the point where I've had to be very assertive.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
19 weeks ago

Winchester


" ……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that "

I have been to my fair share of clubs and I feel it’s a meet fest to be honest, it’s like queuing up for my shot or get in line as so many around and it’s just not worth the hassle.

Couple nights are way better

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By * D 777Man
19 weeks ago

bathgate

never been .would like to try but feel the nerves would get better of me ,i suppose once in i might relax . an yes i wont know till i try .

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By *igguy56789Man
19 weeks ago

trafford

I decided to make my first visit to a club on Tuesday. I decided to go in the daytime as I suspected it would be quieter,which it was. I passed a guy who stopped to say hi. I told him it was my first visit and he welcomed me to sit with him and his wife so I could ask them for any advice.

We were sat together for a while discussing different topics but they made me feel really welcome. They decided to go have some fun in private before they left but welcomed me to join them.

Overall,it is nerve racking to even just walk through the front door,but once you’re in and just start being social with people the nerves do go. It’s good to go in with the mindset of not expecting to have any fun and just treat it as a social,then if any fun does happen it’s just a bonus.

I would like to visit when it is busier and see whether my thoughts change for better or worse

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


" ……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that

I have been to my fair share of clubs and I feel it’s a meet fest to be honest, it’s like queuing up for my shot or get in line as so many around and it’s just not worth the hassle.

Couple nights are way better "

Jeez. We need to go to that club!

We’ve never experienced the mythical “sausage fest” so many couples speak of. Generally we have found guys to be respectful, sociable and patient.

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By *az89400Man
19 weeks ago

salford

I want to attend a club just a bit anxious especially as a single male but would always be respectful abd approachable though

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

I don’t have the balls to visit by myself guess it’s going into the unknown and not known what to suspect, guess if I had someone to go with would visit find out what was involved and feel a lot more comfortable about the whole club scene

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


"I decided to make my first visit to a club on Tuesday. I decided to go in the daytime as I suspected it would be quieter,which it was. I passed a guy who stopped to say hi. I told him it was my first visit and he welcomed me to sit with him and his wife so I could ask them for any advice.

We were sat together for a while discussing different topics but they made me feel really welcome. They decided to go have some fun in private before they left but welcomed me to join them.

Overall,it is nerve racking to even just walk through the front door,but once you’re in and just start being social with people the nerves do go. It’s good to go in with the mindset of not expecting to have any fun and just treat it as a social,then if any fun does happen it’s just a bonus.

I would like to visit when it is busier and see whether my thoughts change for better or worse"

Fully understand the whole nerves thing. When we first attended, we sat outside for a while shaking like shitting dogs! Took a while inside to feel relaxed. But this was helped by some very well mannered gents! We did not “play” that night and looking back, feel that had we gone in and no one spoke to us, at least we could talk to each other. Singles in clubs don’t have that luxury. I suppose it takes a certain outgoing personality to be single in a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Yep and I’m quite a shy person to begin and have visions of me sat in the corner all night looking like a loner

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


"

We’d likely choose an event like this again but would be put off by the “wanking dead” a term that we’ve heard coined before. Whether that’s a fair term or not we don’t know "

Oh it is a thing. We actually find them both flattering and amusing. Always makes me think of that string of ducks in a row that kids pull along behind them! Quack,quack as they follow.

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By *lrightthenMan
19 weeks ago

Bradford

Scared of crowded areas and places where crowds may be so I very rarely go out as it is. I'm not sexually confident or really all that do anything sexual with anyone or talk about it. My perception of people who are into this lifestyle, learned from this website, are that they are very demanding and everything has to be about them

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


"Yep and I’m quite a shy person to begin and have visions of me sat in the corner all night looking like a loner"

In all honesty, social confidence is probably a good asset to avoid that situation. I’m sure there are others like us, but we hate seeing this and will often make the effort to engage with guys on their own. Even if they are not necessarily for us, we just try and help them feel more at ease.

Alternatively, you could look at profiles of couples/ladies who are going and state they are looking for guys and message them asking if it would be OK to introduce yourself on the night with no expectations other than wanting to fit in. We get this quite a lot, and always encourage it.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

I had been to clubs as a could and a long time ago as a single gent, I'll be finding my way to clubs again in the near future just like others time is a great barrier

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By *ing49Man
19 weeks ago

cambs

Ive been to a club once not long befor christmas as a single guy. Some of the people were really welcoming but you could tell they all had their own tight little groups and people they had been meeting there for a long time. To be fair it was my 1st visit to a club so i was very nervouse too

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By *irk_Dastardly.Man
19 weeks ago

Everywhere

I’ve been to clubs on a couple of occasions and had positive experiences at both. Takes a bit of nerve to go over the threshold but once in, all was fine. The ‘wanking dead’ was not something I was aware of until my first visit - not my thing, but was lucky enough to meet a couple in a quieter place away from the ‘main event’.

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By *hefoxesofpenCouple
19 weeks ago

chester

We've been to 7 different clubs and a total of 50 or so visits.

Some couples, some bi, some mixed nights

It's fair to say the disparity between venues and events in enormous

At the poorer end of the scale we have been when there has been an abundance of the "wanking dead" (including once two fellas wanking in the changing room as soon as I began to take off my coat....) right up to a balanced mix of people and the "vibe" had been great as it's like minded people, having a good time.

I think a lot of it rests with the clubs themselves, I won't name and shame but we stopped going to one as they let in a procession of not sober men, who then proceeded to behave badly and ruined it for the shame, yet at another club they have strict limits, take no nonsense and consequently people have a better time.

If I were a single man I'd try and plan in advance, get on the guest list for an event with a defined number of single males, rather than attend one of the free for all's.

And remember one key thing

No, not tonight sorry, from a single lady or couple may be exactly that. Not tonight.

Launch you dummy out and it will be not ever.

I've certainly said no thank you to men on an occasion when on another night I'd say yes.

It's simple. Be polite, as charming as you can and confident (without arrogance), treat any activity as a bonus not an entitlement (over the live sex show you are guaranteed) and most single men should enjoy a club.

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone


"We've been to 7 different clubs and a total of 50 or so visits.

Some couples, some bi, some mixed nights

It's fair to say the disparity between venues and events in enormous

At the poorer end of the scale we have been when there has been an abundance of the "wanking dead" (including once two fellas wanking in the changing room as soon as I began to take off my coat....) right up to a balanced mix of people and the "vibe" had been great as it's like minded people, having a good time.

I think a lot of it rests with the clubs themselves, I won't name and shame but we stopped going to one as they let in a procession of not sober men, who then proceeded to behave badly and ruined it for the shame, yet at another club they have strict limits, take no nonsense and consequently people have a better time.

If I were a single man I'd try and plan in advance, get on the guest list for an event with a defined number of single males, rather than attend one of the free for all's.

And remember one key thing

No, not tonight sorry, from a single lady or couple may be exactly that. Not tonight.

Launch you dummy out and it will be not ever.

I've certainly said no thank you to men on an occasion when on another night I'd say yes.

It's simple. Be polite, as charming as you can and confident (without arrogance), treat any activity as a bonus not an entitlement (over the live sex show you are guaranteed) and most single men should enjoy a club.

"

I (mr) have absolutely no idea why a guy would get excited seeing you taking your coat off!

But totally agree with your comments except one. About the events with limited numbers and guest lists. Sadly, so often we have been on a night that requires names on guest lists and been so disappointed by the lack of people generally. Despite that club feed here looking like it’s going to be rammed. I think perhaps people get on the list as a “just in case” but because they’ve not parted with a deposit just don’t bother turning up.

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By *olbyMan
19 weeks ago

Grays

as someone who likes the idea of going to a club, I think the biggest issues is the nerves part. I don't mind talking to people but would be wary of approaching others especially on a first visit. I certainly would be polite, respectful and not expect anything at all. Anyone who expects certain things at clubs should question why they are going there in the first place - boundaries are different for everyone, including me, and I highly respect those.

As many have said, getting over the threshold is the biggest step!!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

I love going to clubs it's the most relaxed atmosphere going and women walk round in there underwear what's not to love

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Does anyone know if any daytime clubs in Surrey area??

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By *onMogsMan
19 weeks ago

Lincoln

I would love to go but anxiety and stuff plus I only know of one club local to me

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
19 weeks ago

Central


"So I am on a single male profile now and have been in the past. But also used to be on a couples profile. (Just saying this for context to my answer)

I haven't been to a club as a solo guy, but I am looking to, just recently time and work around xmas was hell.

I have been put off in the past, because when I went to clubs as a couple, there was always random guys around. Some felt creepy, some just felt really lonely. Others were cocky arrogant twats. There were a few exceptions.

Given my adhd, I don't even know how I will be in social situations, so it worries me I may just be sat there like a prize plum and end up looking like one of the guys I described.

I am going to go to one of the daytime clubs/events this year though and see how I feel.

Sorry for the convoluted response, I just wanted to explain fully."

I don't think that you'd be viewed as anything other than respectful. It's those who aren't who are a problem to others.

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By *r SensualMan
19 weeks ago

London


" ……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that "

I’m not a single guy anymore but still attend clubs as one often when my partner cannot attend. So I’ll throw my two pence in as to two main reasons why (in my opinion) so many are put off by going:

1. Cost disparity - single guys are charged the highest entry/membership fees compared to single women and couples.

2. Perceptions of how they’ll be received - so often they hear such negativity spewed about them on here by women & couples who’ve had unpleasant experiences with guys & fear they’ll be lumped in the same box as these men despite being nothing like them whatsoever.

I’ve personally experienced standoffishness from the off simply for going up to someone and saying a hello. If unlike me, you’re shy and it’s taken you a lot of courage to approach someone, think how demoralising that must be to get such disdain in return when your intentions are/were sincere.

The second point is a real shame because when I’ve been to clubs I’ve met and chatted with some really sound guys, ones I’d happily meet up and spend time with in a social setting regardless of whether there were any women present.

On the whole I love clubs as I’ve made, and still make so many great connections from going to them. Heck, if I hadn’t of taken the plunge to visit one I wouldn’t have met my partner who I’ve been with for the last 3 years and which we are still going strong.

So I say to my fellow men ignore all the noise and BS that people project off of the back of their own experiences, do some research & pick the night you go to very carefully. Of course also the night itself is what you make of it. Don’t let the knock backs bring you down because for every 1 person who may not be interested in getting to know you I can guarantee there’s someone who will be eventually if you approach them in a nice and polite manner.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Have attended clubs as a single male,a lot at various times throught out the past 20+years. It depends on the club,and even on the night,how you are treated. My local club,is always ok,and is an enjoyable night whether I play or not. At other club,I have been to some nights and it really a case of what's the point of being here. Lots of couples who want to play with other couples. I understand that totally,but not much fun when you are on your own.Can be very nerve-racking going into a club as a single man as well. I know it's probably nervous for single ladies as well,but you are guaranteed attention and play,should you want it.Have attended various clubs as a couple,wow,what a difference. The stress levels and nerves ,disappear quickly.And you get treated better by other people.

You just have to pick your club and night wisely,be respectful AND non pushy.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
19 weeks ago

Coventry

I started as a single guy and went to clubs as a single guy and on the rare occasion just by myself these days. I'm was happy to meet at a club, they're a great neutral space. With the space to go play and the opportunity to enjoy other people if the meet doesn't vibe or just for extra fun after. But only if I was a member of said club. Because club can be very expensive as a single guy, especially if it's a one off visit.

Also I would say cynically some single guys may fear competition (maybe quite legitimately). Imagine arranging to meet at a club and going out of your way to attend. Then you arrive and find yourself being gazumped or at least having to share something you fought you get on an individual basis. Not saying that's a right or healthy attitude but that maybe in the calculus of why some single guys fear meeting at a club. A private arranged meet guarantees just you and them without competition.

Mr

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By *andsCouple
19 weeks ago

Edin

Wish more single guys would attend clubs x

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By *ampireLoveMan
19 weeks ago

Essex

I’ve been to clubs as a single guy and had a lovely time. Think it’s all about not having any certain expectations and just enjoying being around people with the same interests and hopefully get chatting. Whatever may happen after is great

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By *reekyDeekyMan
19 weeks ago

Birmingham

Been to a few clubs as a single guy. Chams is my mainstay now though. Tbh clubs are just a whole different ballgame to what many men are used to. I've asked my other male friends about attending and none seem interested. What people often dont understand is that clubs are really at the behest of women. Where I feel standard vanilla clubs still operate largely on patriarchal expectations (women dress up and compete for attention) clubs are a little different where its actually the men who compete for the desire of women. Raw visceral attraction plays a role (especially in dress down clubs) and thus I often find its the guys who are the most physically appealing or who have the biggest dicks who do the best (lol also worth noting it seems the average dick size is way bigger in a swingers club than in a gym changing room ). Thats not say personality doesn't matter. Good conversation, politeness and charm matter a lot...but you can't fuck a personality.

This is going to come as a massive shock to most men where the posturing and d*unken courage of a nightclub just simply wont get you far in a swingers club. Neither does the furious walking underneath the towel.

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By *wogoodtobetrueMan
19 weeks ago

North East

I went to a club as a single guy last year. I was with my mate who was also single. It was our first time and our expectations were low. But we had a great night overall. Started off in the lounge and I started talking to this couple in their late 50’s who were clearly together.,she started talking dirty-ish about what goes on and I got a semi on which she spotted and then she was stroking it outside my trousers. Naturally I thought bingo! Her partner just watching and my mate also like “this is good”!! Later on and after a lot of walking around they invited me into a room. I was laid down naked and she lay beside me. Wasn’t long till I was kissing and sucking her tits. Next thing I know he’s sitting and easing his hole onto my cock! I just let him get on with it. Later on I was in the room with the circular bed and lots of folk were on it. Next thing I know there’s a guy sucking my cock. Again I thought crack on as it was nice! Single guys serve a purpose!

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By *interflingMan
19 weeks ago

london

I’ve been as a single guy to multiple clubs across the country, some good nights, some bad. Luck of the draw.

It always feels a little intimidating and as someone a little shy, can be hard to strike up convo, but you just have to jump in with two feet and a smile

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By *ife NinjaMan
19 weeks ago

Dunfermline


"Wish more single guys would attend clubs x"

Not in Scotland anymore. I prefer a hot tub and sauna atmosphere. You don't get that, unless you go South. 🤓🥷

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By *ick MastersMan
19 weeks ago

Birmingham

I’d consider, but it’s expensive, plus I got asd, so struggle in social situations. Plus there’s a chance of sensory overload.

I’ve have met people at social event not set in a club which was nice.

Plus I have had a dip in confidence as a few date/socials have gone that great recently.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
19 weeks ago

Utero

Clubs aren’t for everyone- it can be a particularly challenging/ intimidating environment for single guys.

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By *4bimMan
19 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

i dont go because all i hear and read here is couples and women complaining about single men and i have no desire to meet those who are up their own arses.

plus the cost. single guys are exploited by the clubs and charge them more.

im any other business you wouldnt get away with such discrimination. if it was the other way round women would be outside setting up camp in protest.

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By *ungle_kingMan
19 weeks ago

Nuneaton

Its a lovely change to see a balanced discussion on this. As a couple you have a "wingman" and once you have been a few times as a single guy and you get to know people it does get easier.

The stigma though around single men at clubs does influence couples i'm sure to have a negative way about us and you have to be a certain personality to enjoy the club scene. You stand back and other guys will step in and chat but you don't want to appear pushy.

In my recent visits and this is just my personal opinion and it could just be circumstance so don't shoot me down. The last visit i had to the attic the single guy culture was led by the arrogance and seemingly righteous way of women will be wanting of BBC. They strutted around and were rude and would basically brush past you to see what was going on in the cinema room especially but like i say its more of a regular occurrence from my point of view but it could be just the few nights i have been too.

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By *tandardIssueNerdMan
19 weeks ago

Telford

I have been to clubs before, but not too many times. There's many reasons what's stopping me from attending more, some of which are down to me where I just need to get over it. Some of them would be;

- Cost. While this isn't a big reason, it's still something. By the time you add in club fees, hotel and travel it becomes a not so insignificant sum. Sometimes I would much rather spend that money to go to a gig.

- Which club/night? The two nearest to me require memberships before attending which for single guys you can imagine has a long waiting list.

Xtasia doesn't allow single guys on Saturdays, which would be the easiest day for me by far. And a lot of the Fridays I wouldn't fit the "theme" of the night, so that gets ruled out.

- From the visits I've had before, a good portion of the attendees are very clicky and seem to only hang out with people they know. Which I totally get, but it makes it that much more daunting for a single guy to make conversation and join in.

- Again, from previous visits, it's so incredibly rare that couples/women will make the first move and come up and talk to me (that's at least been my experience). As someone who has a bit of social anxiety and is generally awkward, it again can make it very daunting to make that first move.

- But the biggest thing for me would be that for the past while, I've really struggled with self confidence. I keep thinking that no one would be interested.

It doesn't help that almost every time I send a face pic on here, I get ghosted or straight up blocked. All of that adds up and takes a toll.

So yeah, that's my mini-rant. Mostly what people have said already.

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By *ilkSkinMan
19 weeks ago

London

Mainly the cost and attitude of certain clubs. You support their events and you get treated like manure half the time. The contempt for single guys is off putting. I focus more on local meets and sometimes travel to local private stuff or small house parties. That makes more sense for me at the moment.

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By *WKentladMan
19 weeks ago

Dartford


" ……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that "

I've usually been to club/spa venues in Kent attending as a 'couple' with a FWB. We have often had what a politician might call 'mixed results' we went to Pleasures, a club near you before Christmas and found it incredibly cliquey, groups of couples who clearly knew each other well, and appeared to only be interested in each other, great for them, but a 'quiet evening' for us and another couple we went with. Certainly couldn't imagine going there as a single man.

IMO, as a single, if you don't have the ability to 'work the room' and be able to shrug off occasional extreme rudeness, -one that s_ands out for me was being completely blanked by a woman in response to 'hi, how's the evening going for you'- going to clubs etc as a single is not for you (or for me these days)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Wow I was honestly contemplating doing a club but after reading some of the comments, maybe not such a good idea, maybe wait till I find a partner to go with which seams the best idea

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By *hesubtlegentMan
19 weeks ago

surrey

I have been to a couple of clubs. Regularly attend ignite social which suits me as I don’t play in clubs. I get too overwhelmed so I socialise rather than play and it enables me to meet women face to face that could potentially end up in a 121 meet at a later date.

Also going to the social there, the reduced entry price makes it worthwhile.

There are some guys that have a sense of entitlement and think because they’ve paid a lot of money to enter a club, they should be able to have sec with some they like but they soon get put in their place.

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By *ubwife4u OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Maidstone

So it seems the most common reasons are:

A) Nerves - totally understandable and something I think everyone suffers on their first visit. But like a rollercoaster, once you’ve done it, you love it.

B) Perception/Rumours about single guys - Don’t be that guy! As so many have said, expect nothing, be polite and respectful. If you are concerned about being the one in the corner holding one bottle of water all night with no one to talk to, maybe try looking at profiles of others who are attending and politely asking them if they would mind if you introduced yourself there for a chat. If they know it’s your first time, I’m sure many would be OK with that and introduce you to others they know. We would, and often do.

C) Charges - We completely agree with you and would like to see clubs charging one price for all. Let’s face it, if they charged £35 for everyone, guys would feel treated fairly and more will go, couples will go because that’s what they do with their spare time. And as for single ladies, well, it’s not like clubs are over run with them now even though they get in for free (or reduced charge).

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By *reekyDeekyMan
19 weeks ago

Birmingham

Interesting seeing a lot of single guys talk about being treated poorly. Again I feel this is kinda dependent on the club u go to. I've never felt mistreated by chams staff although I feel thats because in order to become a member as a guy you often have to be somewhat vetted.

In regards to treatment from couples I can can definitely say I've seen and experienced some pretty naff behaviour but I don't think I would out that down exclusively to clubs or their attendees. Society in general has become pretty anti single male and rather obsessed with the idea that masculinity is some kind of original sin so its no surprise that mentality permeated the club scene.

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By *iamond couple twoCouple
19 weeks ago

Wakefield

Speaking as a couple, we go to clubs looking for a single guy. Yes there are the creepies and yes there are the cocky and arrogant guy there are also the really really nice guys who make visits all worthwhile x

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By *erseylad25Man
18 weeks ago

trinity

IM very keen to try a club as a single male this year, infact its my resolution i wanna keep,

but i find it very intimidating for a middle aged dad bod thats not hung like a fucking horse x

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By *our TV fantasyTV/TS
18 weeks ago

Waterloo, Liverpool

In male mode I have been to clubs as a single male.

My take is this. If you are new to the club and a bit shy you are less likely to get to play. I was as nervous as hell my first time. I would recommend a greedy girls event and don't be afraid of a "no thanks" you'll get them, everyone does. Just talk to people. You can open a conversation with "Have you been here before?"

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By *an SummersMan
18 weeks ago

Huddersfield

I’m a tight Yorkshire man, so cost is largely one of the things that puts me off new clubs that aren’t offering guest list places. Paying £80-90 (membership and entry fee) to join a new club just to see what it’s like doesn’t sit well. Especially as I’ve been to clubs where there’s only been a handful of couples with the wanking dead in hot pursuit.

I tend to go to organised events when there is a guest list, nights where I’ve agreed to meet someone, or the odd daytime when memberships may not be required.

If you are a single guy thinking of going. Leave inhibitions at the door, don’t be pushy, respect boundaries, be brave and do not wander round aimlessly with your cock in your hand (the wanking dead)

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By *udelawfsMan
18 weeks ago

A pristine town

Most clubs, unless you’re a member, end up being extremely expensive for a single man. Between the entry fee and event costs, it can easily reach £70–£90 for single guys. If you add hotel expenses,since you can’t drink and drive...it can come to around £200 for just one night. On top of that, I often find myself in awkward situations, a club with few couples, and girls being followed by 20 men, making it nearly impossible to have a natural conversation...many couples are only into other couples and girls.. also experienced that the hyped-up guest lists you see in forums are in many cases filled with friends of the organizers and promoters. Many of them either don’t show up or stick to their tight-knit circles. You might not believe me, but talk to any genuine, level-headed single guy who’s explored the club scene, and you’ll see that everything I’m saying is true. There are a few exceptions, but they’re rare..maybe 5% of the time.Now that I realize I could use that money for a small weekend trip instead, I feel it’s much better spent that way..so unless I’m confident the event is genuine, the club is decent, and the crowd is balanced, I avoid clubs..

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By *r SensualMan
18 weeks ago

London


"In male mode I have been to clubs as a single male.

My take is this. If you are new to the club and a bit shy you are less likely to get to play. I was as nervous as hell my first time. I would recommend a greedy girls event and don't be afraid of a "no thanks" you'll get them, everyone does. Just talk to people. You can open a conversation with "Have you been here before?"

"

Hmmmm I’m going to respectfully disagree with your advice about men going to a greedy girls night as their first club… All of the themed clubs nights out there, those are probably the worst for a first timer.

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By *ondoner27Man
18 weeks ago

london

They are a bit intimidating to be honest especially if you’re an average everyday fella like me. I’ve only ever been to Rios and that was with someone

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By *oelMan
18 weeks ago

Midlands, London, Brussels


" ……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that "

Going to a club as a single man can be a bit like fab. You have a few drinks, have some nice chats, but don't expect anything. That can be quite an expensive night, which is fine. Often a vanilla night can be more fun

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By *olfiMan
18 weeks ago

Leeds


"never been .would like to try but feel the nerves would get better of me ,i suppose once in i might relax . an yes i wont know till i try ."

I have this issue, my nerves, anxiety and that fear of looking like a massive pervert just kind of terrify me haha

Not only that, but the cost is a definite factor. Some nights round here are £40 for a single guy, not including membership.

Fair, not all night's are that much, but it is a lot.

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By *onMogsMan
18 weeks ago

Lincoln

I would love to chat with someone who goes to clubs and wouldn’t mind me going with them. As a first timer so I can mix better

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By *elaxed CoupleCouple
18 weeks ago

Cheshire

OK so we're a couple, but it's me, Mr, that's driving our decision not to attend. She agrees with me by the way, but hadn't formed an opinion until I had.

We looked at every one within reasonable late night driving distance from our house. Their own venue photos put us off. All that pink neon. Did clubs stop evolving in the 1980s? And the idea of music that's designed for consumption by

21 year olds, being pumped at loud volumes, making conversation difficult, just sounds awful.

One even has a policy that you have to be naked or down to underwear to get out of the changing room. Sorry, we decide when we disrobe, not the clubs management.

Then we've had reports that some clubs have a rather unpleasant aroma. Sounds horrible.

So I imagine that some single men are equally disturbed by some of these factors.

And there's that moniker, the wanking dead. Any self respecting single guy wouldn't want to be associated with that crowd, I'm absolutely sure of that.

If a club could offer the atmosphere of a classy social, with private side rooms, then we'd give it a try. As it is, we just can't bring ourselves to make a visit.

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By *olfiMan
18 weeks ago

Leeds


"IM very keen to try a club as a single male this year, infact its my resolution i wanna keep,

but i find it very intimidating for a middle aged dad bod thats not hung like a fucking horse x"

Haha this as well, there's always that worry somebody would look at me and go "Nah, not enough" 😂

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By *olfiMan
18 weeks ago

Leeds


"Speaking as a couple, we go to clubs looking for a single guy. Yes there are the creepies and yes there are the cocky and arrogant guy there are also the really really nice guys who make visits all worthwhile x"

Can I ask, just out of curiosity, if you see somebody that maybe interests you.

Would you guys approach them, or would you expect them to approach you?

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By *ugehandsMan
18 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

I been to a couple of clubs and first of all they can be expensive, but if you do your homework before you attend it shouldn't come as a shock. secondly I am outgoing and have no issue chatting with anyone and have no expectations of the outcome of those conversations.

However I have seen too many lecherous men staring at women and couples or following them around and rarely being told to go away

I think the decent men don't attend clubs because the don't want to be seen that way and maybe the main reasom for not attending.

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By *etro manMan
18 weeks ago

manchester

My first experience was a swingers hotel I booked a Friday night and arrived lunch time had a tour around the place then went to my room

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By *olfiMan
18 weeks ago

Leeds


"...I think the decent men don't attend clubs because the don't want to be seen that way and maybe the main reasom for not attending. "

Yes exactly this.

I wouldn't sit there staring constantly, not would I become one of the "wanking dead" (as named on here previously), but it doesn't stop me from being worried that I will be perceived as such

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By *etro manMan
18 weeks ago

manchester

My first experience was a swingers hotel great then club hotel meeting and some house party just watching chatting with people and things might happen but if not clean safe place drinks some have sauna jacuzzi cinema room chill out

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By *oelMan
18 weeks ago

Midlands, London, Brussels


"Wish more single guys would attend clubs x"

Awww that's nice ☺️

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By *our TV fantasyTV/TS
18 weeks ago

Waterloo, Liverpool


"In male mode I have been to clubs as a single male.

My take is this. If you are new to the club and a bit shy you are less likely to get to play. I was as nervous as hell my first time. I would recommend a greedy girls event and don't be afraid of a "no thanks" you'll get them, everyone does. Just talk to people. You can open a conversation with "Have you been here before?"

Hmmmm I’m going to respectfully disagree with your advice about men going to a greedy girls night as their first club… All of the themed clubs nights out there, those are probably the worst for a first timer. "

The ones I have been to, deliberately have a ratio of 3-1 men to women and were daytime events I don't know if this has an impact. Your experience may have been different.

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By *r SensualMan
18 weeks ago

London


"In male mode I have been to clubs as a single male.

My take is this. If you are new to the club and a bit shy you are less likely to get to play. I was as nervous as hell my first time. I would recommend a greedy girls event and don't be afraid of a "no thanks" you'll get them, everyone does. Just talk to people. You can open a conversation with "Have you been here before?"

Hmmmm I’m going to respectfully disagree with your advice about men going to a greedy girls night as their first club… All of the themed clubs nights out there, those are probably the worst for a first timer.

The ones I have been to, deliberately have a ratio of 3-1 men to women and were daytime events I don't know if this has an impact. Your experience may have been different."

That ratio is exactly why I wouldn’t recommend a single guy new to clubs going to a greedy girls event. They’re purposely designed that way as that’s the selling point for the women/couples who enjoy that dynamic more so than for the guys who attend but each to their own.

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By *ike_looking_forMan
18 weeks ago

Cumbria

been as a single guy and with a Female FWB

Unless it's a greedy girl night or something like that numbers always work against a single guy, and even in those nights it's just not the same and the admission can be damm steep!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
18 weeks ago

Brighton - even Hove!

There are no proper adult clubs down here.

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By *NV14INVCouple
18 weeks ago

Inverness

As a straight couple, looking for a straight male, a club is our best option. It’s obviously lest risky and at least they are there and we would be stood up.

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By *heffield BikerMan
18 weeks ago

Sheffield

I would be interested to go but like you sead its the courage for one.

Also worried how people would look and think. Interested in a singles night or going with some 1 single with experience.

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By *iamond couple twoCouple
17 weeks ago

Wakefield


"Speaking as a couple, we go to clubs looking for a single guy. Yes there are the creepies and yes there are the cocky and arrogant guy there are also the really really nice guys who make visits all worthwhile x

Can I ask, just out of curiosity, if you see somebody that maybe interests you.

Would you guys approach them, or would you expect them to approach you?"

We would approach them

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By *allDarkTypeMan
17 weeks ago

Lancs/ Manc/ South East

I’ve had pretty good experiences in clubs in the past - people are generally very friendly. Townhouse and Cupids mainly. I haven’t been in a long long while, but I may dip my toe in again.

Even when I did attend, I rarely ever played. What I enjoyed most was the social aspect and the sexy atmosphere. Temptation Events were probably the best I’ve been to.

The only friendly advice I’d give to other single guys who find clubs daunting is mindset. Go to socialise first and foremost, with no expectations of play. The goal isn’t a sexual outcome, I’d say it’s to be pleasant company. Everything else tends to follow naturally if you’re social, respectful, calm and confident.

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By *r and Mrs ScotsmanCouple
17 weeks ago

North fife

It can be pretty daunting as a single guy in a club, especially if you have not organised to meet anyone.

I have done it and I am poor at small talk lol. So I tip my cap at those that do go. Its a tough venture.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I’ve been as a couple and a solo male.

Struggled as a solo male to get a convo going

But would love ti go back

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By *wogoodtobetrueMan
16 weeks ago

North East

Just been to Club Play in Blackpool last night with my friend as two single males. We had a good hour or so socialising just chatting to others sat down in the lounge before we went to get changed into our towels. We could see a lot of folk knew each other so were probably regulars. We went for a walk upstairs and was still quiet up there but play was starting to happen slowly. About an hour later there was sex taking place everywhere I looked. Watched a couple fucking this young girl and also had a dildo which they were sharing. I stuck my cock in a glory hole and had an amazing blow job and no idea who it was. Went into a room where a couple were just watching porn and lay beside them and then she took my cock and just wanked me for half an hour while he watched. Then into the hot tub beside this big lady who let me play with her tits while my foot was between her partners legs. Then in the sauna two youngish couples came in and one girl had just been face fucked by my mate and he came over her face and down her throat and her partner was going on about it. She was stood up and I asked if I could touch her nipples and within a minute I was fingering her cunt too. Lovely young pussy with a little mound of trimmed hair. Back upstairs I was watching some good fucking sessions while wanking and my cock was rock hard as I’d taken a viagara earlier. A few more interactions throughout the night wanking sucking and watching and plenty of drinks in between. All in all a lovely night with plenty fun and looking forward to tonight fir round two.

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By *hisIsMe58Man
16 weeks ago

Winchester

Well I've never been to a club and think I would struggle to.

Firstly, I find it hard enough to socialise in a vanilla setting. I can't just enter a pub and make small talk with people I don't know.

Secondly, there are no real clubs near me and the cost of travel, hotel maybe and the cost of entrance would definitely make me think twice.

Thirdly I have no idea about what it's like in a club. Is there a dress code or lack of clothing required. Are there social areas where sex is not permitted or is it a free for all. I'd definitely like to know what to expect.

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By *orgetmeKnotCouple
16 weeks ago

Rainham, Kent


"Well I've never been to a club and think I would struggle to.

Firstly, I find it hard enough to socialise in a vanilla setting. I can't just enter a pub and make small talk with people I don't know.

Secondly, there are no real clubs near me and the cost of travel, hotel maybe and the cost of entrance would definitely make me think twice.

Thirdly I have no idea about what it's like in a club. Is there a dress code or lack of clothing required. Are there social areas where sex is not permitted or is it a free for all. I'd definitely like to know what to expect."

The best way to find out is to muster up the courage and just go.

If you have a bad time and it's not for you then don't go again.

Surely, as with most people... they've had to start a new job where they dont know anyone, don't know their way around the building and have little knowledge of the role they're undertaking. But after a few weeks, they fit right in.

Go without expectations, and you never know what might happen...you might even make some great friends along the way.

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By *oung GunnerMan
16 weeks ago

Cleckheaton

My reason for not attending clubs is with been a kidney transplant recipient I have a non working bladder , unfortunately I have to wear bags all the time & someone seeing in a club would be a really scary thing for me because I feel ashamed of it myself . This is why I would like to meet privately , I’m more than happy to meet in a public place first to myself and the person I was meeting at ease , or the one thing I really would like to achieve is treat them to coffee & cake at mine as a I really enjoy entertaining , baking .

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By *hisIsMe58Man
16 weeks ago

Winchester

[Removed by poster at 31/01/26 16:45:22]

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By *hisIsMe58Man
16 weeks ago

Winchester


"Well I've never been to a club and think I would struggle to.

Firstly, I find it hard enough to socialise in a vanilla setting. I can't just enter a pub and make small talk with people I don't know.

Secondly, there are no real clubs near me and the cost of travel, hotel maybe and the cost of entrance would definitely make me think twice.

Thirdly I have no idea about what it's like in a club. Is there a dress code or lack of clothing required. Are there social areas where sex is not permitted or is it a free for all. I'd definitely like to know what to expect.

The best way to find out is to muster up the courage and just go.

If you have a bad time and it's not for you then don't go again.

Surely, as with most people... they've had to start a new job where they dont know anyone, don't know their way around the building and have little knowledge of the role they're undertaking. But after a few weeks, they fit right in.

Go without expectations, and you never know what might happen...you might even make some great friends along the way."

Thank you

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By *pectorMan
16 weeks ago

Hook


" ……. or not, more to the point!

We get many messages from some lovely looking guys with good profiles who don’t go to clubs. Curious to know gents, if you don’t or won’t go, why? Have you been and had poor experiences ? Or have you yet to pluck up the courage? Maybe it’s a cost thing? Just interested to hear what puts you off going. Please don’t use this thread to beat up on single guys, there’s lots of other threads for that "

I attended my first club last year and was an alright experience to be honest, mostly chatting to other couples which didn’t expect much to begin with anyways for a first time and being as young as I am is potentially another factor. I would like to visit/attend more clubs in future and with having a gander at some clubs around I would predominantly say it’s the various pricing some clubs list ‘single men’ entries at which can be a factor. I respect the clubs predominantly want single women/couples over single men with the vast amount of us there are and some I’ve heard and seen for single men entry can be £35-£50 sometimes, that and hotel pricing if you intend on staying over, compared to couples/single women being £15-£25 an entry even seen as low £5 for single women.

Just looking at it as someone relatively new to clubs and I wouldn’t necessarily say the pricing is off putting as again understand why but it’s another factor to consider when attending clubs.

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By *ydaz70Man
16 weeks ago

Rotherham /newquay

As a single guy I don't feel welcome in there by either the couples or the club and while ever they try to rip single guys off with fees I ain't interested and yes I've been to a few clubs with a old friend and also worked in them and I've heard what couples say about us each to there own.

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