FabSwingers.com forum: The saying no moment :-/

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what tips are there for that awkward moment when you have a meet and you just aren't attracted to each other

And you don't want to offend......

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"So what tips are there for that awkward moment when you have a meet and you just aren't attracted to each other

And you don't want to offend......"

depends on how its going as a social if thats what your refering to..?

end of the drink etc, can either say thanks for a good evening but we dont feel we are compatible..

or agree to have a 'think about it' and contact them shortly after..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From personal experience I find social meets somewhere public often end in a 'no', social meets at someones house almost always end in a 'yes'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

act like a grown up...

and because u didnt have sex..there is no need to stop the meet..unless u cant stand the person(s), or simply wanna get a shag elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I relieve honesty is the best policy....

I set my alarm to go off 10 mins after arriving, hold the phone to my ear and say .. "Calm down mum, what do you mean youve been taken by Somali Pirates??......"

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"So what tips are there for that awkward moment when you have a meet and you just aren't attracted to each other

And you don't want to offend......"

Sorry but you're not what I expected, its what I've said.

But prior to meeting I always tend to say, everyone has got to be comfy or its just not fun. That I'll turn around no issues. Never been turned back and only one or two ( due to cleanliness) has meant I've had to make my leave..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suspect that those that meet in pubs, or for coffee socials, are far more cautious and perhaps more picky than those that meet at home. Nothing wrong with that, its personal choice.

Ultimately, if anyone does not want to play, then you have to say clearly and unambiguously, "sorry but not for me/us".

At that point, if the other party was hoping for play, it would be a good time to make an excuse and leave.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

I have always found that how/where the conversation goes gives both parties a clue as to what may/may not happen next. I only had to say 'I do not feel that we are compatible' once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't met anyone yet that I didn't want to play with as I spend a bit of time researching profiles in the first place so the people that I meet, I'm genuinely interested in.

If it ever came to it, I would slip into conversation half way through that I didn't see the connection extending to play but it was nice to have someone to chat with about the lifestyle.

Try and avoid the 6 million dollar question at the end of the meet?

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By *attykitWoman
over a year ago

leeds

"From personal experience I find social meets somewhere public often end in a 'no', social meets at someones house almost always end in a 'yes'."

Not always. Meet in my local pub. Lots of sexy flirtng. Ended up with a "would you like to walk me home? ". Amazing Sex and seen him a couple of times again too. He's turning into a regular naughty habit! !! Xx

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

As a guy I'd like to be told sooner rather than later that sex wasn't on the menu. Like the guy above, I'd expect the pre-meet conversations and pics had got most of the expectations sorted. A social is a social and I wouldn't expect sex. Something like 'thanks for coming but we're not in the mood for sex' would be polite, then I'd finish my drink and go, if the possibility of sex had been discussed. They'd get a social veri.

An adult attitude is needed, a firm believe in oneself and some social manners. Makes it easier for all concerned.

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"I relieve honesty is the best policy....

I set my alarm to go off 10 mins after arriving, hold the phone to my ear and say .. "Calm down mum, what do you mean youve been taken by Somali Pirates??......""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I turned up at a meet the lady was do d*unk she fell over that kinda stopped any attraction in its tracks.

I pilitely told her i was going and messaged later as she put hersekf in danger as not everyone would have left when free sgag in offer.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

So long as it's not along the lines of "Sorry, but your face looks like the wrong end of a bulldog", you're not being rude.

This is why we prefer to do socials first, you're not in an enclosed space and there is no pressure to play. Most on here know they aren't going to be EVERYONE's cup of tea so a simple "Thank you very much for meeting me but I don't see it going any further" is sufficient.

If they're ok and we can have a laugh with them, there's no reason it has to be cut short. The last couple we met, we just made the most of a sunny afternoon at the pub.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From personal experience I find social meets somewhere public often end in a 'no', social meets at someones house almost always end in a 'yes'.

Then perhaps I need to start meeting ladies closer to home - I think a big part of determining a successful meet is often convenience, some people may have to take an hour or two out of their day just to get together for that one drink and chat, and by the time you're finishing and getting ready to go, you can't always have established sufficient chemistry together to think 'I'd definitely like to meet this person again', whereas if you'd met at someones actual home, I reckon you'd have a much better chance of 'yes I like them, I feel safe and comfortable with them, we're at home and I feel horny - lets have sex'.

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