FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

about me

Jump to newest
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be interested to hear the answers here because I adopt the polite approach. ....gets me nowhere. ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP why let it bother you, maybe those your messaging are simply not interested or think you are their type, I'd delete your message too as your not for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll be interested to hear the answers here because I adopt the polite approach. ....gets me nowhere. .. "

Same again I'd delete you too sorry

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

why would you delete it choccy if you would indulge my curiosity

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hurts ur feelings????

theres taking a knock and moving on..not saying it feels great...but the minute u start getting 'hurt' feelings from a message deleted unread or being blocked..I'd question my views on no strings sexual relations, whether I'm supposed to be on this scene

sorry for the honesty..I'd say the same to any gender

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not they're being rude, quite simply you're not their type. We used to reply to all messages but after getting insulting replies we don't bother any more, if the person is interested they'll message you back.

Don't let it bother you, move on and try again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why would you delete it choccy if you would indulge my curiosity"

I simply don't fancy you as your not my type and replying back saying that then becomes a ping pong of messages trying to justify why I'm not interested so a simple delete is Easier on both of us

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just take a delete message as a simple no and move on as there's plenty more out there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/05/13 22:33:49]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not they're being rude, quite simply you're not their type. We used to reply to all messages but after getting insulting replies we don't bother any more, if the person is interested they'll message you back.

Don't let it bother you, move on and try again"

fancy a...well...u know what...please say yes...or u'll crush my wee heart

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not they're being rude, quite simply you're not their type. We used to reply to all messages but after getting insulting replies we don't bother any more, if the person is interested they'll message you back.

Don't let it bother you, move on and try again

fancy a...well...u know what...please say yes...or u'll crush my wee heart "

Awwwwww bless

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well must say if you were not of interest we would be honest and reply with message to that affect manners cost nothing !!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Maybe your profile just doesnt appeal to them... Maybe you dont match what they're looking for.

Many people look at profiles before even reading a message and if they're not interested in whats in the profile the content of the message can be irrelevant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know."

I read the profile before the message, and delete without reading the message. I'd delete your message as I don't meet bi men, and "straight" men seeking tvs aren't straight to me. I also don't meet men that don't accommodate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I'll be interested to hear the answers here because I adopt the polite approach. ....gets me nowhere. .. "

"Married" acts like kryptonite to me: it blinds me from reading further.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know."

I can't speak for them because I don't know what their reasons are nor what your messages actually say but do you really want a raft of messages from each and every one of them saying "we don't find you attractive?" or combinations of that message? They either don't like what's in your profile...it's virtually incomprehensible to be honest...find the fact that you would be taking them home to your mum's house...or that you can't drive so would be relying on public transport or are hinting that you would like them to pick you up...or, frankly, your pictures are awful, unclear, badly lit and poorly focussed with not a lot of thought into making the most of yourself in them...

So would you rather have a load of messages saying that or just have them deleted? Honestly?

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

aaahhh, must be because im ugly then, nothing new to me really then, unless its something else

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know.

I can't speak for them because I don't know what their reasons are nor what your messages actually say but do you really want a raft of messages from each and every one of them saying "we don't find you attractive?" or combinations of that message? They either don't like what's in your profile...it's virtually incomprehensible to be honest...find the fact that you would be taking them home to your mum's house...or that you can't drive so would be relying on public transport or are hinting that you would like them to pick you up...or, frankly, your pictures are awful, unclear, badly lit and poorly focussed with not a lot of thought into making the most of yourself in them...

So would you rather have a load of messages saying that or just have them deleted? Honestly?

J"

Sorry op, but all of the above.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"hurts ur feelings????

theres taking a knock and moving on..not saying it feels great...but the minute u start getting 'hurt' feelings from a message deleted unread or being blocked..I'd question my views on no strings sexual relations, whether I'm supposed to be on this scene

sorry for the honesty..I'd say the same to any gender"

agree..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton


"i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know."

I do what a lot of women do, read the profile look at the pictures, and do not even read the message if not what I am looking for.

Take a step back and think about things and why people are not replying.

Take a look at you pictures, and think what someone might think of them?

You have only been on here a few weeks, and seem to think something should happen.

Well it takes time patient and finding the right person, which is like looking for a needle in a hay stack.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

Oppps did not read the whole profile.

1) I cannot see any woman going to your house if your living at home!

2) Public transport limits you....

You are in a league of their own, when you consider guys can accom and have transport.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Mate - have you any idea how many messages women on here get?

I know a couple and they get at least 30 a day. I've heard stories of others getting many more than that. Are you seriously expecting them to reply to every single one?

It'd pretty much be a full time for some women replying to all the messages they get. For that reason they pretty much have to bin most of them and focus on the one or two that are of interest.

I've also seen the messages they get off some guys. Really horrible stuff. As result they are understandably wary and think ignoring/deleting is the easier option.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Read your profile and I quote

"if your interested then contact me and lets get our freak on"

David Brent impersonators don't have a good track record on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Read your profile and I quote

"if your interested then contact me and lets get our freak on"

David Brent impersonators don't have a good track record on here. "

Lol! No single men get a good track record! We're the lowest of low remember

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant drive

I barely accom

and have been the same since I joined fab 5-6yrs ago..

the best advice I can give..is get to socials or clubs

profile wise...there is being TOO honest, especially with things that are essentially irrelevant- and I ignore what many say about single men that dont accom..if ur married and have a wife I'd say u were stupid putting a facepic(or anything recognizable on)

and yes..u need some pic improving, better lighting/focus..oh and less of the sexy face pulling

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP. You're probably not doing anything wrong but if you don't appeal to people then they're not going to meet you. Not everyone appeals to everyone so don't take it personally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a single male, whether six pack and good looking or otherwise, you need to accept you will get knocked back. I have weeks where I think FFS then I have weeks where I am pleasant surprised.

With respect, too many single guys think this game is easier than it is. Not necessarily you but as a generalisation

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op ur a perfect example of why so many don't say no thanks.. Cos if they do then they get asked why not.. Noone needs to justify their decisions and people don't have time to keep teeling many people a day why they don't fancy them.

You can't honestly think everyone would want u?

Why does it hurt ur feelings? Mayb e u shouldn't be on here if u can't handle rejection

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Read your profile and I quote

"if your interested then contact me and lets get our freak on"

David Brent impersonators don't have a good track record on here.

Lol! No single men get a good track record! We're the lowest of low remember "

If you view yourself as that - then maybe that's half the problem!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

some of it is a mindset thing... and I think that some go into this with a mindset that is so out of kilter

the expectation vs the reality...

thinking of every mail as a no, then when you do get a yes it is very much a bonus... as opposed to thinking every mail is a yes, then when you get no's it crushes the ego....

half full vs half empty.. and how you then deal with that

i think there is a perception that swinging is easy.... it is probably the exact opposite! people know what they are after and tend to be more picky!!!

the site does give you tools to make it work and you do get out what you put in... its true, so be that how to seperate yourself from all the other people out there....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

who is david brent, i never think every email will be a yes, its a miracle if that ever happens, i dont expect anything at all, i was brought up with manners and kindness and telling the truth, im just saying truthful things on my profile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your status is the first thing that anyone sees and that negativity will be off putting before your profile is even read

Having messages deleted is'nt personal to you because they don't know you so all they're doing is deleting a bunch of random words that have hit their inbox possibly along with a whole load of others from people that don't grab their attention or fit their criteria too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

The David Brent reference was mine. My apologies, it probably wasn't accurate and only confused things.

I wish I had this help after 5 weeks of joining. Be patient, I had to wait 3 months before my first meet. A lovely woman who I met 2 more times but we never played because neither could accommodate. So if you can't accommodate, (alot of people will think you're cheating), explain why and offer an alternative (e.g. hotel not the car's back seat).

I'd recommend a social or a visit to a club (if you can get in). Also accept that you'll not be everybody's cup of tea and be patient.

Oh and go to a social (have I said that already?).

Good luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

nope would never cheat, fully single and no dependencies at all, regarding socials, have no idea where any are and i have limited funds to get into them or to them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nope would never cheat, fully single and no dependencies at all, regarding socials, have no idea where any are and i have limited funds to get into them or to them "

Oh dear

Good luck anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Play the mystery man. Remove all your pictures. Seduce the ladies with your unseen charms and witty. Is that possible here? No chance. The odds are against you. Just try to browse the amount of single guys on this site. Think out of the box . One last thing, remember to attract and not push away. Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *athfindersCouple
over a year ago

Hull


"nope would never cheat, fully single and no dependencies at all, regarding socials, have no idea where any are and i have limited funds to get into them or to them "

I don't mean to be rude but you are coming across as having confidence issues.

Your profile highlights a few things that would put us straight off -

1) You state your pictures are not too good on your status - If you don't like them then why would we bother clicking on your profile to look!

2)Humour is my biggest quality - Your profile sounds like you are not happy nor humorous!

3) Multiple orgasms - something I'm not good at (does not give confidence in your ability)

4) on a second virginity as it has been a long while! Not going to be a great night for the person you meet then possibly!

5) messaging is not my strong point. Lacks any confidence!

All in all it does not come across that you have anything to offer. A profile that continually puts themselves down will not appeal to the masses!

We would not meet you on the grounds you are so negative about yourself. We want a confident guy who will show us a good time! not the 'I'm not very good at anything sort of guy'

Sorry if critical but you are after answers!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *athfindersCouple
over a year ago

Hull


"some of it is a mindset thing... and I think that some go into this with a mindset that is so out of kilter

the expectation vs the reality...

thinking of every mail as a no, then when you do get a yes it is very much a bonus... as opposed to thinking every mail is a yes, then when you get no's it crushes the ego....

half full vs half empty.. and how you then deal with that

i think there is a perception that swinging is easy.... it is probably the exact opposite! people know what they are after and tend to be more picky!!!

the site does give you tools to make it work and you do get out what you put in... its true, so be that how to seperate yourself from all the other people out there.... "

Listen to the advice from Fabio. This man has a lot of sensible things to say and not just on this thread! there are a number of times where his advice has been very good on other posts!

Also has a good profile and by the verifications he seems to be doing well

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

I wouldn't reply as you come across as a very negative person. Your profile is all about what you can't do and what you're not good at. You even look miserable in your pic! Negativity is not a turn on for many! Also, in my eyes, straight men do not want to meet TVs. Be honest about who you are and what you are looking for.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't reply as you come across as a very negative person. Your profile is all about what you can't do and what you're not good at. You even look miserable in your pic! Negativity is not a turn on for many! Also, in my eyes, straight men do not want to meet TVs. Be honest about who you are and what you are looking for. "

Agree with this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"who is david brent, i never think every email will be a yes, its a miracle if that ever happens, i dont expect anything at all, i was brought up with manners and kindness and telling the truth, im just saying truthful things on my profile"

So I take it that you ring up every single pizza place that has pushed a menu through your letterbox to tell them thanks, but you're not hungry right now do you? Do you also text back every one of those shit ppi claim messages that pops up on your phone to say thanks but no thanks? Manners my arse.

Some women on here get a thousand messages every few days. Do you expect them to reply to every single one ? Then reply again when the sender invariably bleats "But why not?".... Lets say single woman are outnumbered by guys fifty to one. Then multiply the average amount of messages a guy gets by fifty to sixty as of course they'll get messages from couples too. In my experience that would give them between three hundred to a thousand messages a day. Id guess it would probably take around a minute to knock out the two replies wanted. Lets say the "Fancy a fuck?" type messages make up half of the pile and they don't deserve a reply...it still leaves around a couple of hundred to reply twice to, in other words you expect them in the name of manners to spend around four hours a day every single day typing out dreary "no thanks" messages that won't lead anywhere....

In my opinion that means you expect them to do the equivalent of a part time job adhering to soothing the ego of both yourself and everyone else that messages, unless you believe you are a special case. And I think that's the pinnacle of bad manners!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"who is david brent, i never think every email will be a yes, its a miracle if that ever happens, i dont expect anything at all, i was brought up with manners and kindness and telling the truth, im just saying truthful things on my profile"

everyone has a different persecption of manners.. so what you think is being good manners another may take as being rude..

being honest doesnt mean being negative, unless all you can see in life is negativities and therefore as people are pointing out that you have confidence issues..

if you had mails all the time from different females, think of this scenario.. you have 3 mails, one says "fancy a fuck" and not much written on the profile, one says "hi i like your profile and im looking for someone to experience some fun times as i havent had many" and their profile reads like yours about being a long time since they had any fun etc.. and the last one said "hey how you doing today? loving your profile and would love to get to know you better" and their profile said things like how they love to kiss and oral the most, want an andveture and fun times and how they love life..

which one would you choose if you could only choose one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So I take it that you ring up every single pizza place that has pushed a menu through your letterbox to tell them thanks, but you're not hungry right now do you? Do you also text back every one of those shit ppi claim messages that pops up on your phone to say thanks but no thanks? Manners my arse.!"

I love this xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nope would never cheat, fully single and no dependencies at all, regarding socials, have no idea where any are and i have limited funds to get into them or to them "

Going to be honest here mate you've already been given loads of good advice on this thread. I've not looked at your profile as your replies on here give all the info I need about you. When told they would delete your post you ask why and I assume if you get a simple no thanks message you would do the same thus doubling the messages people have to deal with.

As for your comment above really you cannot find a social they are all over the forums and meets section

If you don't have the money to get to a social how would you get to a meet ?

Everything worth having I life takes a bit of work/effort so take your time put some effort in and you might be suprised

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"nope would never cheat, fully single and no dependencies at all, regarding socials, have no idea where any are and i have limited funds to get into them or to them

Going to be honest here mate you've already been given loads of good advice on this thread. I've not looked at your profile as your replies on here give all the info I need about you. When told they would delete your post you ask why and I assume if you get a simple no thanks message you would do the same thus doubling the messages people have to deal with.

As for your comment above really you cannot find a social they are all over the forums and meets section

If you don't have the money to get to a social how would you get to a meet ?

Everything worth having I life takes a bit of work/effort so take your time put some effort in and you might be suprised"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're just not that into you!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

"So I take it that you ring up every single pizza place that has pushed a menu through your letterbox to tell them thanks, but you're not hungry right now do you? Do you also text back every one of those shit ppi claim messages that pops up on your phone to say thanks but no thanks? Manners my arse.!".

well it sounds like you do, as i am not that stupid to even think about ppi and crap like that. you know something i think ill give up literally, i havent been with a woman for 2 and a half years, im lonely and want some company and i feel i need to say that if i was to turn up to the meet my lack of experience is my downfall and im sorry that everyone else is gorgeous and im the black swann with confidence issues, this i me and this is how i feel, so i give up, i dont see the point anymore and i do believe i will not be with a woman for 10000 years now, my pennance for a lack of confidence i see

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""So I take it that you ring up every single pizza place that has pushed a menu through your letterbox to tell them thanks, but you're not hungry right now do you? Do you also text back every one of those shit ppi claim messages that pops up on your phone to say thanks but no thanks? Manners my arse.!".

well it sounds like you do, as i am not that stupid to even think about ppi and crap like that. you know something i think ill give up literally, i havent been with a woman for 2 and a half years, im lonely and want some company and i feel i need to say that if i was to turn up to the meet my lack of experience is my downfall and im sorry that everyone else is gorgeous and im the black swann with confidence issues, this i me and this is how i feel, so i give up, i dont see the point anymore and i do believe i will not be with a woman for 10000 years now, my pennance for a lack of confidence i see"

Omg get a grip you have been given advice on how to meet people if you want companionship then really a dating site would be better for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Have you tried a regular dating site instead of a swinging site? Perhaps if it company you are after, take that step first before getting the sex you want. Plus there are far more women on dating sites, more socials etc - you might get more joy there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

I think your above post says it all really.

Get out into the 'real' world ....its actually easier to meet people than on here.

This isnt a quick fix site...although many seem to think it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is no place to be for someone with such issues,Im sorry that you lack such confidence but your woe is me attitude,and the fact that you find a reason to be negative with every positive bit of advice you've given is emotionally draining so they won't bother again

Good luck with whatever you choose to do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree with what others have said, perhaps a dating site would be better suited if you're looking for companionship, there are plenty of women in the same boat as yourself.

The people on here are here for one reason mainly and companionship isn't it. I fear if you did get a meet you'd be expecting more than what it would be which is generally a bit of fun.

Everyone has low points in life, the trick is to keep your chin up and keep plodding along.

I'd suggest POF and match, the former is free so you can start the hunt today.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know."

It might be that no matter how your profile looks or how good your message is they don't find you attractive. You just have to keep messaging people and concentrate on the ones who do reply and not the ones who don't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


""So I take it that you ring up every single pizza place that has pushed a menu through your letterbox to tell them thanks, but you're not hungry right now do you? Do you also text back every one of those shit ppi claim messages that pops up on your phone to say thanks but no thanks? Manners my arse.!".

well it sounds like you do, as i am not that stupid to even think about ppi and crap like that. you know something i think ill give up literally, i havent been with a woman for 2 and a half years, im lonely and want some company and i feel i need to say that if i was to turn up to the meet my lack of experience is my downfall and im sorry that everyone else is gorgeous and im the black swann with confidence issues, this i me and this is how i feel, so i give up, i dont see the point anymore and i do believe i will not be with a woman for 10000 years now, my pennance for a lack of confidence i see"

Well the best advice is ,

MAN THE FUCK UP !!

Firstly accept you are not the best looking nor are you deformed same as most of us

Even the best looking are not everyones type

Your inner insecurities are not unique to you however they must not be allowed to define you , finding inner strength to overcome the knocks will reflect well.

Question everything you do ! Starting a thread like this will not aid your cause , change your approach , ask yourself before any action you do ,will it have a positive effect? . So many people say and do stuff on auto pilot without , conscious reasoning behind it .

Finally , if you are lonely this is not the right site for you in my opinion. it is very unlikely you will receive any emotional feed back

Just go out and do stuff

Until you can accept yourself without negativity you cannot expect women or men to be seduced x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is no place to be for someone with such issues,Im sorry that you lack such confidence but your woe is me attitude,and the fact that you find a reason to be negative with every positive bit of advice you've given is emotionally draining so they won't bother again

Good luck with whatever you choose to do"

Sorry op, but this I'm afraid.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As many have said, you are portraying a very negative picture.

Your profile is poorly written and repetitive.

a second virgin cries out pity puty me me and your forum post yells desperate.

Yes you may have been brought up with manners however when mailing people you can never ever expect a reply.

Relate your message to their profile

Be humorous

Be cheeky

Be you...

I would also amend your age range and sexual orientation

Be patient and use the forum to get known.

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aisy2012Couple
over a year ago

everywhere

Agree with all of the above but we always take time to acknowledge messgages & reply - we are new enough at this to be flattered when people express an interest

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the simple answer is that we all tend to be lazy and adopt the easiest approach, which is not to respond at all to a wink or a message of any kind from a new contact that has no attraction. A nil response means there is no interest, the reason is irrelevant, so just take it as that and move on would be my view. regards and good hunting! Graham

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

well now modified my profile, most probably worse now though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliantly said this thread has given me some ideas as I'm still a newbie on here. And as for the op what don't kill you can only make you stronger !!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Confident people such as myself need to play down our confidence, seem outwardly a little, let's say vulnerable. You however must not why on earth suggest to us your profile has not improved. Such negative self analysis after all that has been said could be taken as an insult to those who have taken time to think about you ?

Project positive even if you don't always feel it x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i have a question to all those i have messaged and they have deleted my carefully thought out and polite message, what am i doing wrong, where am i going wrong, have i offended you in some way without knowing, it hurts my feelings if i dont get a reply and is just deleted, or should i just say "want to fuck me", if so ill start saying that, although in my eyes and mind that is a rude way to message. it sounds like a rant i know and i know ill be getting stick from this for ages, i just need to know."
You havent messaged and no reason why you would, im too far away and you are for me. Bits of your profile are good though, anyway I like getting polite messages and do mostly. But if they arent for me I always reply politely saying no thank you then delete. takes 2 seconds to do that. ignore them and move on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

FFS is your whole life lived in a negative zone ???

Have you ever heard of PMA.....try it for a while coz yer attitude is angst ridden to say the least

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New profile is tons better, just work on gettig some better shots and jobs a good un!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

Just read it

100% better.

Personally, if I was you, dont show face pics till asked.

And work on getting some decent ones.

Negativity breeds the same...keep your profile and attitude upbeat.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"well now modified my profile, most probably worse now though"

If you project negativity that is what you will get back in abundance, as has been said. No one likes people who wallow in self-pity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""So I take it that you ring up every single pizza place that has pushed a menu through your letterbox to tell them thanks, but you're not hungry right now do you? Do you also text back every one of those shit ppi claim messages that pops up on your phone to say thanks but no thanks? Manners my arse.!".

well it sounds like you do, as i am not that stupid to even think about ppi and crap like that. you know something i think ill give up literally, i havent been with a woman for 2 and a half years, im lonely and want some company and i feel i need to say that if i was to turn up to the meet my lack of experience is my downfall and im sorry that everyone else is gorgeous and im the black swann with confidence issues, this i me and this is how i feel, so i give up, i dont see the point anymore and i do believe i will not be with a woman for 10000 years now, my pennance for a lack of confidence i see"

Erm no, I don't. Which is precisely my point.

Id echo the other comments made about a dating site being more up your street. Women outnumber men on these sites as a hell of a lot more women are crying out for a relationship than men, so it will be like fab in reverse I imagine.

Plus it sounds like rather than illicit sexual encounters what you need is a slow getting to know you period with an equally fragile woman who can understand what you're going through as you sound tormented to say the least. Then when both of you are ready for it you can gradually ease into a sexual relationship.

Good luck!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well now modified my profile, most probably worse now though"

actually, it's much much better...reads much more positively and your humour comes through far better than when you were being self deprecating...

Good for you for taking on some tough feedback and using it to improve not only your profile but hopefully your chances

good luck

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/05/13 19:45:18]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well now modified my profile, most probably worse now though

actually, it's much much better...reads much more positively and your humour comes through far better than when you were being self deprecating...

Good for you for taking on some tough feedback and using it to improve not only your profile but hopefully your chances

good luck

J "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

OP if your life is that empty that you are feeling lonely and so negative, can I suggest that maybe you need to work on other areas of your life before your sex life. It sounds like you are lacking a more healthy social life and maybe finding a way to make friends will help give you the confidence you need to have a fuller sex life.

The way you express and view yourself reminds me very much of a friend of mine who has Aspergers. Now I'm not saying that you have but you do come across as having a lack of the social skills and understanding that you need to posses to survive in the world of swinging.

I really don't think this kind of site is the right thing for you at the moment as you do not appear to be equiped to deal with the negative parts.

I wish you all the best OP. There are people out there that are meant to be in your life, I just don't think you are going to find them on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I can't see any photos cos they are friends only but most people want to see some so make them public, make sure they are in focus, well lit and get rid of any tat in the background as dreadfully nosey people sometimes look in the backgrounds of photos and spot things that people may not have wanted on show...am I right in thinking you put bi then changed it to straight? Nothing wrong with being bi, be proud of it.

Don't you think that having some confidence is a good idea if you're going to have sex with people you barely know?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are your messages self deprecating by any chance? As you do seem to have a negative tone. Any messages we get along the lines of saying "don't suppose?" Get deleted along with ones that are clearly rude or lazy.

Agree with the photo comment make some good public ones perhaps?

Would not take it personally over the Internet just suck it up and move on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why would you delete it choccy if you would indulge my curiosity

I simply don't fancy you as your not my type and replying back saying that then becomes a ping pong of messages trying to justify why I'm not interested so a simple delete is Easier on both of us"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yLittleMushroomIndeed OP   Man
over a year ago

Lowestoft

i will say thanks to theTiG, he proposed the changes to my profile text, recent things in my recent past have knocked my confidence but i am trying to change it as best i can

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i will say thanks to theTiG, he proposed the changes to my profile text, recent things in my recent past have knocked my confidence but i am trying to change it as best i can"

Shhhh don't tell everyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top