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Being Ignored Sucks

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By *inky Perky OP   Couple
37 weeks ago

Narnia

Back when I was a single guy, by far the hardest part of the game was navigating the Desert of Endless Indifference. When the vast majority of people you approach can't be bothered to even reply, it starts to grate very quickly. The standard excuse is that turning someone down invariably results in a stream of butthurt insults so why bother, but is that really true? We've turned down dozens of approaches in the year or so we've been here and only had one guy who got pissy about it.

Let's all try and be a bit kinder.

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
37 weeks ago

Bognor Regis

Being sent utter tripe sucks but hey it's fab.

I'm not replying to people who haven't read my profile nor even approached me like I'm a person and not a walking hole.

Just because you've only had one person be crappy doesn't mean we are lieing.

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By *ouse-pkMan
37 weeks ago

Nantwich

Nothing takes away from the fact, that reading a message and not replying or deleting ( yes a delete is a reply ) is just plain rude.

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By *apperleymanMan
37 weeks ago

Leicester

Nah… I’ve known some women and couples who receive hundreds of messages in the space of a few hours.. I wouldn’t reply to most of them - who has time to do that?

Fabs ratio is massively massively male heavy.. you want to stand out? Then be original.. and patient..

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By *rchie300Man
37 weeks ago

Hamworthy

Imagine how many messages women get …. As a guy if you were sent so many messages I bet you any money you’d skim through most of them and probably ignore most ….. it’s just the way it is …. You got to be thick skinned and take it …. It’s better than real life though … at least you can’t get told to fuck off constantly to your face like trying it on in bar or club …. Then there the restraining order but that’s a another story 😂

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By *issmorganWoman
37 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I won't respond to those who don't read my bio or who send a crappy low effort message.

I have had people who won't take no for an answer in the past, or become abusive when told mp.Now I block right away to stop this.

That said, I'm not a twat unless someone is to me first.

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By *naswingdressWoman
37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's not an excuse, it's my experience.

Kindness runs both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

When I first joined i got over 700 messages over about a week ..... no way I was replying to all of those

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By *eroLondonMan
37 weeks ago

Mayfair


"Nothing takes away from the fact, that reading a message and not replying or deleting (yes a delete is a reply) is just plain rude."

•

In an ordinary world and in everyday life, extraneous to Fab, it could possibly be construed as plain rude.

On here, however, it's not rude. Not replying or deleting is the commonly-accepted defacto approach.

This is the culture that prevails on here and it's the culture that should be accepted.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago


"Fabs ratio is massively massively male heavy.. you want to stand out? Then be original.. and patient.. "

This…

We ended up blocking all single men due to the quantity (and lack of quality) of stupid messages. 90% just saw Mrs as an easy fuck that they were entitled to go with because they were on fab. Go figure…

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By *arand25Couple
37 weeks ago

Crowborough


"Fabs ratio is massively massively male heavy.. you want to stand out? Then be original.. and patient..

This…

We ended up blocking all single men due to the quantity (and lack of quality) of stupid messages. 90% just saw Mrs as an easy fuck that they were entitled to go with because they were on fab. Go figure…"

We opened our profile to single guys recently, it was like the floodgates opened. About 5% of them bothered reading our profile, you can easily tell. All blocked again lol we prefer the quiet life

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By *ellinever70Woman
37 weeks ago

Ayrshire

It's not unkind to not reply to a message on a place like this

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By *apio51Man
37 weeks ago

Queensferry

I don't too hung up on it.

I think I've had moderate success. Probably sent out 6 messages with 4 replies. Although my messages weren't about meeting, just breaking the ice, and didn't come to anything.

I took a bit of a break of 6 months or so and came back recently. I've sent one message out (and, I confess, I'm desperate to hear back) since and although it's been read, it doesn't appear to have been deleted.

Reading the profile and actually putting thought into the message seems to be key. But I don't get upset if I just get deleted/blocked. I don't take this site too seriously anyway.

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By *ack DawXXXMan
37 weeks ago

Weybridge

A delete doesn't take anytime to do.

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By *kibirdWoman
37 weeks ago

Gillingham ( Dorset, not Kent)


"The standard excuse is that turning someone down invariably results in a stream of butthurt insults so why bother, but is that really true? "

Yes, that’s really true. What’s also true is the ones who don’t take no for an answer and want explanations on why you don’ want them and let’s not also forget then whenever you do reply to someone, that person is able to burn through any filters you might decide to put on later. There so many reasons why sometimes no reply is the best option.

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By *apio51Man
37 weeks ago

Queensferry


"Fabs ratio is massively massively male heavy.. you want to stand out? Then be original.. and patient..

This…

We ended up blocking all single men due to the quantity (and lack of quality) of stupid messages. 90% just saw Mrs as an easy fuck that they were entitled to go with because they were on fab. Go figure…"

Tbf, Mrs has an absolute stunning body! I might even be tempted to try sending a gazillion messages myself if I lived down Dorset way.

Oh. And j agree with everything you've said. It's just manners, right?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
37 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Meh.

If they ignore my profile text I don't consider it any less respectful or kind to ignore their message text 💜

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By *inky Perky OP   Couple
37 weeks ago

Narnia


"Being sent utter tripe sucks but hey it's fab.

I'm not replying to people who haven't read my profile nor even approached me like I'm a person and not a walking hole.

Just because you've only had one person be crappy doesn't mean we are lieing. "

Easy tiger. I'm not talking about the "hey" and "free now?" messages. Our profile specifically states that we don't reply to those. We've also got stringent filters for newbies and faceless profiles. I'm talking about people who message in good faith but just aren't your cup of tea.

The idea that a polite turn-down inevitably gets a stream of abuse just isn't our experience.

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