FabSwingers.com forum: Struggling to have a satisfying meet

By *alkonthegrass OP Woman
38 weeks ago

Inverness

Over the last few years I’ve had some meets through this site and it’s happily resulted in a couple of wonderful friendships after some fun.

In the last couple of years I’ve found that my meets are becoming disappointing. I try my best to communicate upfront about what gets me off, how I like it etc, but when it comes down to it I have found that guys just do what they want and disregard what I’ve said. A friend of mine has said that the issue is not with me but with the guys. Whereas a guy I was recently with says I should have communicated again what I like and how I like it.

It’s made me feel really insecure about how I meet men, how I communicate, what I’m looking for etc. When my profile is visible I get a lot of messages from men, and I’ve tried to be specific so I get the messages from the sorts of people I am interested in. Some men have commented that they appreciate how detailed my profile is. Others seem to completely not bother reading it and message me anyway.

I was wondering if anyone has had similar issues or can give some advice. I’m now thinking maybe the lifestyle is not for me and I should find people some other way.

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

It isn't down to you to say what you want twice. It's down to them to listen the first time.

Why do *some* men have to make their bad behaviour a woman's responsibility to correct 🤦.

However if you think they have misheard or misunderstood there's no harm in repeating yourself but if they don't listen the second time just halt proceedings

By *alkonthegrass OP Woman
38 weeks ago

Inverness

"It isn't down to you to say what you want twice. It's down to them to listen the first time.

Why do *some* men have to make their bad behaviour a woman's responsibility to correct 🤦.

However if you think they have misheard or misunderstood there's no harm in repeating yourself but if they don't listen the second time just halt proceedings "

Thank you. I made myself very clear as I didn’t want another unsatisfying/frustrating meet.

By *he Silver FuxMan
38 weeks ago

Utero

It’s not you, it’s the men you are choosing to meet.

There’s lots of men on Fab who may be interested in or compatible with your particular requests or needs.

(Unless it’s really really freaky and then there’ll fewer men.. but there will be one out there)

It’s a grind though, sifting through the inane trite, the desperate, the weird, the asocial, the nasty, the ugly.. If your needs are kinky / a particular fetish maybe this Swinger site isn’t what you need and you may have more success with more ‘specialised’ sex sites..