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I'd fuck you but....

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

Find a reason why you wouldn't fuck the person above.

Remember it's just a bit of fun. Keep it friendly and humorous

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I've just eaten.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I'm too tired

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rchie300Man
38 weeks ago

Hamworthy

I love myself to much

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

He's got a smiley face for a penis

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andb69Couple
38 weeks ago

leeds


"He's got a smiley face for a penis"

.......but he'd rather fuck a pile of donuts.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *endmeyour.wifeMan
38 weeks ago

Warrington

I’m cooking my tea

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost

He’s a slow cooker

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hythmic DriverMan
38 weeks ago

Croydon

Too busy laughing at that joke

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *J_1999Man
38 weeks ago

leeds


"Too busy laughing at that joke "

I don’t get it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ace400Man
38 weeks ago

near knock

Well he just doesn’t get it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inxy777Woman
38 weeks ago

essex


"Well he just doesn’t get it"
can’t keep the pace!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r SproutMan
38 weeks ago

M54

It’s not a sprint

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I couldn’t fuck you as good as a Labour chancellor so not going to try

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

I prefer black dahlias

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inxy777Woman
38 weeks ago

essex

Too many clothes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

She's too busy kissing in the "Kiss Fuck Drink" thread

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Hes too busy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heekymattMan
38 weeks ago

Walsall


"Hes too busy"

He would show up my Dad bod!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Hes too busy

He would show up my Dad bod!"

He won't dress up as Penfold and keep shouting crumbs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
38 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Being around you makes me insecure my boobs are too small 😢

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hythmic DriverMan
38 weeks ago

Croydon


"Well he just doesn’t get it can’t keep the pace! "

Jokes are never funny are they've been explained haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I was looking for a rhythmic dancer.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Can't dance

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

Can't fill a t-shirt

😉

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

[Removed by poster at 20/10/25 21:21:09]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Can't make a post

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

He wears shades indoors

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"He wears shades indoors"

Has an issue with Shades 😎

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
38 weeks ago

Round the bend


"He wears shades indoors

Has an issue with Shades 😎"

Way too shady

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Only wears red

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inxy777Woman
38 weeks ago

essex

Won’t take his sunglasses off

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sacambsMan
38 weeks ago

Ramsey

I can't get past your stocking tops

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *gincourt_againMan
38 weeks ago

in the shadows of a mountain


"Won’t take his sunglasses off "

Can’t keep her legs on the floor

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

To Minxy... I'd cum just looking at your legs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
38 weeks ago

Round the bend


"To Minxy... I'd cum just looking at your legs "

He's not playing the game correctly

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hythmic DriverMan
38 weeks ago

Croydon


"To Minxy... I'd cum just looking at your legs

He's not playing the game correctly "

Im reading the rules to the game. Give me a minute

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

There are rules?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sacambsMan
38 weeks ago

Ramsey


"There are rules? "

Only if you can read

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hythmic DriverMan
38 weeks ago

Croydon


"There are rules?

Only if you can read "

Phew

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ancashireredheadWoman
38 weeks ago

Lancashire

Our rhythm is out of sync

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost

I’m looking for more sync

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

His clown face sscared me away

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"His clown face sscared me away"

I speak broad Northern and you'd never get beyond me saying, 'Ey up me duck'

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
38 weeks ago

La La Land

I've got tit envy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
38 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales


"I've got tit envy "

I’m Still hungover. Give me another 24 hours

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
38 weeks ago

Round the bend


"I've got tit envy "

There's a lot of puss to lick

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *J_1999Man
38 weeks ago

leeds


"I've got tit envy

There's a lot of puss to lick "

Too sexy for us

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost

I have a lack of puss

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ondiego85Man
38 weeks ago

nottingham

You didn’t notice the puss above

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
38 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales


"You didn’t notice the puss above "

Your cock is ghosting me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ounglondoner22Man
38 weeks ago

barnet

Comfy in bed don’t wanna leave it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Too far

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
38 weeks ago

La La Land


"Too far"

He's too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy it hurts

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *b1980Man
38 weeks ago

Burnley

Way to sexy for me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

Bath half full only

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eturning MGMan
38 weeks ago

Mayo, Roscommon, Galway, Leitrim, Sligo....West Of Ireland


"Bath half full only"

But for geography...so far away

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heelerMan
38 weeks ago

Northants


"Bath half full only"

I prefer the shower

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost

My bladder is currently empty

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *idden gemMan
38 weeks ago

sale

I got work to go to

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he MinionMan
38 weeks ago

Surrey


"I got work to go to "

Work is more important for him

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeValentinaCouple
38 weeks ago

London

You have a red spot on your penis. You should get that checked out.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hil39Man
38 weeks ago

Dagenham


"You have a red spot on your penis. You should get that checked out."

No but, lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hybeamMan
38 weeks ago

Caterham

I’d worry about somebody getting caught up in a crochet dress and there being a nasty accident

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heelerMan
38 weeks ago

Northants


"You have a red spot on your penis. You should get that checked out."

Its ok its lipstick

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Wears lipstick wrong

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *n the cloudsMan
38 weeks ago

warlingham

The clouds are blowing in the wrong direction

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *artorialMan
38 weeks ago

weymouth

I'm booked in to the hairdresser's

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"I'm booked in to the hairdresser's "

I have an allergy to hairdressers and you may become contagious

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onochromosMan
38 weeks ago

Wiltshire


"I'm booked in to the hairdresser's

I have an allergy to hairdressers and you may become contagious "

Your tits are too small 😉 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
38 weeks ago

La La Land

He doesn't like small tits

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aretobareCouple
38 weeks ago

Central Portugal


"He doesn't like small tits "

My tits are too big

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emdomCouple2024Couple
38 weeks ago

dudley

Distance could be a problem xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Too close

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onochromosMan
38 weeks ago

Wiltshire


"Too close"

You’re a gym bod and not a dad bod 💪

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

I'll get too distracted

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ingh89Man
38 weeks ago

Birmingham

She's out my league

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onochromosMan
38 weeks ago

Wiltshire


"I'll get too distracted "

I can’t tie my shoelaces, let alone tie you up.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he MinionMan
38 weeks ago

Surrey


"

I can’t tie my shoelaces, let alone tie you up."

For him its only ever black or white.

I like to taste the rainbow

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Won't take his hat off

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"Won't take his hat off"

Too busy in gym xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *had02Man
38 weeks ago

barrow

Too far away

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enial PandaMan
38 weeks ago

Wherever my sat nav says I am.

He's too male

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I've just eaten.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"I've just eaten. "

She too stuffed

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
38 weeks ago

South Wales

I’m sunbathing and a little too hot! Xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

To busy tanning without my homemade cream

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
38 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales


"To busy tanning without my homemade cream"

I’m painting my toenails

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
38 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

She smells of nail varnish

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

She'd have my eye out with those.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarbeckCouple
38 weeks ago

york


"She smells of nail varnish "
we are a couple

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ohn doe777Man
38 weeks ago

Eastbourne


"She smells of nail varnish we are a couple "

I see that😆😆😆

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ohn doe777Man
38 weeks ago

Eastbourne

Your sisters here now

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Your sisters here now"

You refuse to dress as Hopkirk (deceased)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rchie300Man
38 weeks ago

Hamworthy

Im always dressed as Hopkirk 💪

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
38 weeks ago

Round the bend


"Im always dressed as Hopkirk 💪"

I'm shaving my feet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost


"Im always dressed as Hopkirk 💪

I'm shaving my feet "

I’ve a shave phobia

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammy_xMan
38 weeks ago

Reading

You’ll have to beat me a wrestle first

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adbod2godbodMan
38 weeks ago

Manchester


"You’ll have to beat me a wrestle first "

Excess penis to the tune of 1

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Abs too ripped

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

He's always in the gym 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"He's always in the gym 😂"

I doubt he likes reasonable sized boobs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *averick029Man
38 weeks ago

Heathrow London

Don't fancy the black eyes...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammy_xMan
38 weeks ago

Reading

He has been censored

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"He's always in the gym 😂

I doubt he likes reasonable sized boobs "

Scandalous remark....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"He's always in the gym 😂

I doubt he likes reasonable sized boobs

Scandalous remark...."

He's too busy being outraged.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *yesbeenopened2Couple
38 weeks ago

Rugby


"He's always in the gym 😂

I doubt he likes reasonable sized boobs

Scandalous remark....

He's too busy being outraged."

You don’t seem capable of getting fully dressed. 😉😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he69donMan
38 weeks ago

london

Too hairy lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I'm not up for a 69

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inxy777Woman
38 weeks ago

essex

I’m not so speedy!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *NMattMan
38 weeks ago

Northampton

Don’t think I’d last long enough 😉😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *yesbeenopened2Couple
38 weeks ago

Rugby


"Don’t think I’d last long enough 😉😂"

You don’t pick up towels from the floor. 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *NMattMan
38 weeks ago

Northampton

😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Ur a guy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *erryGoldMan
38 weeks ago

near

And so are you 🤣

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

I prefer Lurpak

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rumgoodtimeMan
38 weeks ago

sutton coldfield

I have an allergy to ring donuts 🤣🤣🤣

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Chichester

Normally I’d bum all of the above posters for the lolz but tonight is different as I am washing my feet in bath

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

But you have dirty feet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
38 weeks ago

Somewhere in the middle not the.....

Hes an alien

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost

You wouldn’t like it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *BraggiMan
38 weeks ago

Winchester/Witney

We’d break the bed of my campervan

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown

He's too much of a brag

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Busy playing on phone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarbeckCouple
38 weeks ago

york


"He's too much of a brag "
to young

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ace400Man
38 weeks ago

near knock


"He's too much of a brag to young"

I’m in Ireland

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ondiego85Man
38 weeks ago

nottingham

I’m not in Ireland

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
38 weeks ago

La La Land

He likes ghosts 👻

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

She licks everything

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *J_1999Man
38 weeks ago

leeds


"She licks everything"

Too much of a hulk.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *llfingersandtongueMan
38 weeks ago

Aylesbury

He has no head!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he MinionMan
38 weeks ago

Surrey

He cant keep his hands off himself

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

He has a hole in his jeans

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he MinionMan
38 weeks ago

Surrey

They are only looking for a woman to devour her 😢

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d mirerMan
38 weeks ago

lost

I’ve only just got rid of this boner

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ondiego85Man
38 weeks ago

nottingham

I just had my morning glory (no oasis puns)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *averick029Man
38 weeks ago

Heathrow London

Mines already faded away...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onochromosMan
38 weeks ago

Wiltshire


"Mines already faded away..."

More of a goose fan.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Mac LassWoman
38 weeks ago

Hefty Hideaway

I can’t reach

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *haunhennaMan
38 weeks ago

west


"I can’t reach"

Im out of your age range

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Chichester

Feeling tired this morning to pump away

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"Feeling tired this morning to pump away "

I wouldn't last long

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

He wouldn't last long

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rianbaddy2021Man
38 weeks ago

Galway/limerick

No buts, I would lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"No buts, I would lol"

Being from Limerick,

You've got a nice dick,

But I can't fuck you,

Without a to do,

and that probably makes me thick

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Speaks in riddles

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

He's a bit yellow in the face

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Doesn't snuggle as good as me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
38 weeks ago

IPSWICH


"Doesn't snuggle as good as me "

Too many faces.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

He just wants to snuggle

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammy_xMan
38 weeks ago

Reading


"He just wants to snuggle "

I’m not convincing enough as tammy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I'm a little sore 🥵

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heeky12399Man
38 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

I've got to cut the lawn

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

And trim the bush

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I'm busy making soup 😋

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ace400Man
38 weeks ago

near knock

More interested in making soup then fucking

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"More interested in making soup then fucking"

I need a nana nap

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Rest is for the weak

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uffinandTheJokerCouple
38 weeks ago

Somewhere just outside London

I like to rest

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"I like to rest"

You'd get no rest 😉

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By *he milf next doorWoman
38 weeks ago

bluebell woods

He lives in galaxy far away

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By *helamontsCouple
38 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Sorry, catching up on Emmerdale here ...

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By *ondiego85Man
38 weeks ago

nottingham

I’m baking a cake, there’s been enough cream pies here…

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By *ay h500Man
38 weeks ago

mansfield

Because I'm straight and it's a guy

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I'm busy enjoying my tea and biscuits

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By *J_1999Man
38 weeks ago

leeds


"I'm busy enjoying my tea and biscuits "

Steal his biscuits to nom on them myself

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By *ace400Man
38 weeks ago

near knock

To busy eating biscuits

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By *ing8435Man
38 weeks ago

Worcestershire

way to many biscuit crumbs on his lap for my liking

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
38 weeks ago

Round the bend


"way to many biscuit crumbs on his lap for my liking"

Doesn't like to get messy

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By *averick029Man
38 weeks ago

Heathrow London

You wear too much red. Looks too dangerous...

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

You’re scared of danger

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By *unes68Man
38 weeks ago

.hook

I’m stuck on the international space station

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By *averick029Man
38 weeks ago

Heathrow London

You're on the international space station

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By *uperSalopian7 OP   Man
38 weeks ago

Parts Unknown


"You're on the international space station "

"I don't like you because you're dangerous." (Top Gun )

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By *rchie300Man
38 weeks ago

Hamworthy

Because he’s a scorpion

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago


"Because he’s a scorpion "

No because he's not the original archie

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