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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

is it me, or are some people really rude,it really cheeses me off when you tick all the boxes, send a nice polite message and its deleted ! When it takes seconds to say no thanks, i mean is it me or what ?? Sorry friends rant over lol

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

The FAQs on here state its not bad manners not to reply. Take it as a thanks but no thanks, and move on.

As a single bi fem on here, you can get loads of messages, and replying to everyone is not possible...

and sadly some of the ones when you do reply, see it as an opening and challenge why they are not for you, so its extra work.

Chin up, keep going, and someone will appreciate your messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks ladybee it just ticks me off how rude it unthinking some peeps are, thanks for your input xx

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Problem is you say 'no thankyou' and then get a 'why not?' or occasionally a load of abuse.

Another site I use actually has an option to 'send a polite thanks but no thanks message', which is quite handy, but then you get the guys who are annoyed you didn't send them a hand typed no thanks....

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham


"Thanks ladybee it just ticks me off how rude it unthinking some peeps are, thanks for your input xx"

If your going to do this internet thing develop a thick skin.

Think of it like this,,,when you get unsolicited mail from various companies do you politely reply to them saying no.

No reply means not interested.

Harsh but true

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks popping candy, what you say is true and i understand what you say and i know ladies get overloaded with messages of us single guys, but if the message is polite it just takes seconds ti just say no thanks,

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I'm not talking about getting over loaded, and that isn't what I said at all. I find the volume of mail I get very manageable. What I said was, that most men will not leave it at a 'no thanks' and will either turn nasty ("I don't shag fatties anyway") or demand to know a reason why. You may be sat there thinking 'but I wouldn't do that', but hey is it worth me risking the abuse by responding with a no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thats true miss blue Angel but this is about meeting people and if they set the age and criteria it would be nice to receive a no thanks its surely only polite, or am i just to old andmiles out of line ?

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

your responses to people explaining it on here are very like the messages I get after a "thanks but no thanks" as the majority of guys belligerently labour the point, or get nasty.

Take a no reply as a no interest, and move on. If you can't do that, online is maybe not the right forum for you.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire


"your responses to people explaining it on here are very like the messages I get after a "thanks but no thanks" as the majority of guys belligerently labour the point, or get nasty "

Precisely ... 'I see your point, but....'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thats true miss blue Angel but this is about meeting people and if they set the age and criteria it would be nice to receive a no thanks its surely only polite, or am i just to old andmiles out of line ?"

Your missing the point, 9 times out of 10 if you reply with a no thanks, you then get ping pong messages, why not, then abuse.

Because of the rude messages I've received, it's better to ignore if I'm not interested. It's not bad manners at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks popping candy, volume of mail on here is probably huge for single ladies, and i understand men can get nasty when rejected, it must be awful for you ladies when that happens,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thats true miss blue Angel but this is about meeting people and if they set the age and criteria it would be nice to receive a no thanks its surely only polite, or am i just to old andmiles out of line ?"

Sorry but if you dont get a reply then just get over it. They people above have already stated why its common practice to just delete and yet you still bring it up, are your actions not exactly the same as the people who get a no thank you response and still message back "why ?" ?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

How do people know you 'tick all the boxes' when your profile is only 14 words long?

Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks miss Scorpio, you ladies have opened my eyes, maybe its not manners maybe its downs to volume of maleand some blokes behaving like idoits,

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I quite like a large volume of male

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham


"Thats true miss blue Angel but this is about meeting people and if they set the age and criteria it would be nice to receive a no thanks its surely only polite, or am i just to old andmiles out of line ?"

* read the 'your loss' thread

Your answer lies there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thans tony well thought out reply, but it only takes a second to say no thanks mate,

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well steve n debs i think if you were a single guy you might have a slightly different opinion, but then maybe im well wrong, but at least i got a debate going !

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"Thans tony well thought out reply, but it only takes a second to say no thanks mate,"

You still haven't taken on board a single thing thats been said.

Fair enough you might be one of the nice guys who says 'cheers and good luck' to a no message (and really is an inbox full of no thanks any better than message deleted?) or you may go on and on about the same point and not listen to what is being said.

its not rude not to reply - its just how some people deal with the mail on here - as has been said - you don't write thanks but no thanks on every piece of junk mail that comes though your letterbox at home do you?

Take a delete as a thanks but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you and point taken, i have taken on board everyones opinion, and it looks like im totally wrong, and a deleted message is a no thanks, i have learned and will move on, so thanks to you all,

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

I always reply to messages that I can see people have taken there time to write, even if it is a no thank you. I feel I must take the effort if the other person has. If the message is a few words, or they are asking me for something what I clearly don't want, then I tend not to reply. It is true that people often will ask 'why', and it ends up in ping pong messages about why I don't want to meet. Also they have been the polite people who have said thanks for the reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You sound like one of the nice people on here Liz, i think i have learned a valuable lesson on here tonight,

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By *irdbucCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Would much rather a no thanks than a deleted message.

Just being deleted we consider being rude as a simple not for us takes a moment however we don't trouble you after, everyone's different right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or would you they strung you along and then cancelled last minute ?

I would appreciate the fact they replied

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A simple no thanks would surely be better than a deleted message, i know as a single guy i have had many of both, its just easier to be let down with a polite no ,!

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire


"A simple no thanks would surely be better than a deleted message, i know as a single guy i have had many of both, its just easier to be let down with a polite no ,!"

Back to square one!

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"A simple no thanks would surely be better than a deleted message, i know as a single guy i have had many of both, its just easier to be let down with a polite no ,!"

let down? From an initial message not getting replied to...

For what its worth, unless its rude or horrible, I do reply to every message, and all too often I end up blocking after ping-pong of why not, or let me change your mind messages.

I've sent messages and been deleted, but you know what, I'm pretty thick skinned and don't need a reply to say thanks but not for us... I see a delete as the same as a no, and leave them alone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes your right popping Candy, maybe time for me to look to leave, as i seem to hold stupid values,

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ladybee you sound a much stronger person than me, so maybe its just me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks guys for your input,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes your right popping Candy, maybe time for me to look to leave, as i seem to hold stupid values,"

All that you need to know, if people are really that interested they will reply.

Why do you care if they dont reply - if you want to meet people that hold the same values as you.. they are not the type you wish to meet then are they?

Meet people at socials, clubs and parties, stop wasting you time behind a PC getting no where but upset about the lack of no thanks responses.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, a well thought out answer miss blonde you are probably right, intact i know your right !

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I read the profile before the message. When visible my profile is detailed, setting out the type of man I'm looking for and what I offer.

I expect anyone contacting me to have taken time with their profile also.

Op, I'd delete your message without reading because you're looking for a girlfriend and I'm here to fill my boots. Also you can't accommodate, so some poor cow's going to be saddled with washing her sheets more than she'd need to, or traipse off to a hotel: some boyfriend.

Nope, sorry, not wishing to sound harsh but I'm surprised you're surprised at your lack of success. This petulant post isn't going to help either.

Just my opinion of course.

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham


"Yes your right popping Candy, maybe time for me to look to leave, as i seem to hold stupid values,"

Having just read your profile I would have to agree,

OMG get the bloody violins out please

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Problem is you say 'no thankyou' and then get a 'why not?' or occasionally a load of abuse.

Another site I use actually has an option to 'send a polite thanks but no thanks message', which is quite handy, but then you get the guys who are annoyed you didn't send them a hand typed no thanks.... "

I'm on a site that sends a message to anyone that contacts me outside my filters and another to those that wink. The messages are stored in temporary folders and not my inbox should I wish to contact them.

You guessed, they bitch and moan about filters. I mean, how dare people have preferences that exclude them!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Your more than welcome to your opinion miss tress, but isnt this site about fun ! Not dating site ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Your welcome to your opinion miss blue Angel, it sounds very reasonable what you say,

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Thans tony well thought out reply, but it only takes a second to say no thanks mate,"

You really don't get it do you. You're proving the point why people just delete. You may think you match someone, they obviously have other ideas.

I have on my profile, when visible, I won't reply to anyone outwith my criteria: and I don't!

However, anyone that does will always get a reply, even if it's a no.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"A simple no thanks would surely be better than a deleted message, i know as a single guy i have had many of both, its just easier to be let down with a polite no ,!

Back to square one! "

Sigh...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thats all i ask !

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Your more than welcome to your opinion miss tress, but isnt this site about fun ! Not dating site ? "

Exactly!!! But YOUR profile, reads like you're looking for a girlfriend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A simple no thanks would surely be better than a deleted message, i know as a single guy i have had many of both, its just easier to be let down with a polite no ,!

Back to square one!

Sigh... "
Deleted message says...........no thanks,dont you get it!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Oh you've changed it now!

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham


"You sound like one of the nice people on here Liz, i think i have learned a valuable lesson on here tonight, "

Thanks. I just treat people the way I would like to be treated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can sympathise with the girls on here. Imagine having to type "Thanks but no thaks" 500 times! As a single bloke, you have to just take "Unread - Deleted" on the chin like a big boy and move on. Blokes outnumber women on here by about 100:1...give the girls a break.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Well steve n debs i think if you were a single guy you might have a slightly different opinion, but then maybe im well wrong, but at least i got a debate going !"

But it's not a debate, it's the same old replies to the same old whining thread.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

So you read my quite detailed profile. You think great, I match everything this woman is looking for. You send me a message. Before I read your message, I look at your shop window (your profile) to see what you can offer me. I read a short whinging profile, with no information. I delete without reading.

Maybe instead of complaining about how others use the site use it more to your own advantage first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I was reading this thread I thought to myself-this kid (the OP) has a lot to learn then I looked at the profile! Not a youngster. I do the same as many others have said, look at the profile before replying to the message and based on the OP's current very short negative profile, I'd delete a message too. No effort on a profile implies no effort on a meet to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

clearly you didnt tick every box

either that or its a dud pro

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