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Advice for single guys

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

1. Read peoples profiles!!

2. Dont send one line e mails or messages! eg "Hi I have a big cock".

3.Have some decent pics on your profile.

4. Be able to accomadate (your single/ why cant you?)

5. Dont get abusive if you get a polite "Thanks but no thanks"

6.Dont be arrogant, even if it is Big your not doing us a favour!

7. Be Patient, people have jobs, kids lives...we cant all drop everything.

8. Be able to meet in evenings!! Why wudnt you be able too?

9.HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

R&J XX

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Good tips, but if someone really needs to be told simple stuff like that, are they even worth bothering with in the first place?

The sad fact is that the people (I say people because ignorant behaviour isnt the exclusive domain of single guys) who need to be reading this arent the sort of people who come to the forums, and arent interested in trying to make any contribution.

Anyone worth their salt should be able to figure this out for themselves and shouldnt need telling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1. Read peoples profiles!!

"

Thats all well and good but I've lost count of the amount of one word, one line profiles on here. Gives us something to go on please.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"1. Read peoples profiles!!

2. Dont send one line e mails or messages! eg "Hi I have a big cock".

3.Have some decent pics on your profile.

4. Be able to accomadate (your single/ why cant you?)

5. Dont get abusive if you get a polite "Thanks but no thanks"

6.Dont be arrogant, even if it is Big your not doing us a favour!

7. Be Patient, people have jobs, kids lives...we cant all drop everything.

8. Be able to meet in evenings!! Why wudnt you be able too?

9.HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

R&J XX "

Good tips, don't get me wrong, however I feel some holes can be picked from this as it sounds like a set of rules dictating how (single guys) should be expected to live their private lives. Example responses:

1) Applies to everyone, not just single guys.

2) Couples guilty of the same ie "you look good, lets meet" (ZoeRose gets these a lotf rom couples) or "Come and shag my wife" (that I get from time to time).

3) I know loads of couples/females that don't have ANY pics at all.

4) I know loads of single females that can't accomodate (have kids... live with family.. or worse, married and don't want hubby knowing).

5) I've received several "Your loss!" responses from single females.

6) As above, a number of coupels and single fmeales get arrogant cause they do think "The lifestyle is about us, you bend to our whims!".

7) Exactly, possibly in response to why guys may not be able to accomdoate - we ALL have lives.

8) A good friend of mine looks after his mother (I've been at his to drop something off, hence can't accomodate at all - good thing I can). We all have different circumstances.

9) Applies to all (soem coupels don't half get arrogant as if they doing you a favour!).

Like I said, good points in general, but either can't apply to single guys alone, or has to apply to everyone.

Hope doesn't sound too harsh.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Gents

Thanks for the replies

And apologies for the generalisations.

We understand everyone has a life and circumstances are different for each of us.

The deadly sins of one line e mails amd profiles can apply to all.

However, there are a large number of "single" guys on here who clearly are not single, and cant or wont put any effort into arrangeing meets!

We suppose its almost like a courtship??if that makes sense...you have to put a bit of work in to get our interest.

If a guy e mails us, and he has made an effort, we always reply even if we are not interested.

On the flip side we have once met a guy within 2 hours of an initial e mail.(tart) lol

Our intent was really just to give our opinion and advice.

You guys are obviously a bit smarter than average!

Take it easy and keep it coming. xxxx

R&J

PS would also appreciate any profile feedback on ours

XX

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"You guys are obviously a bit smarter than average!

"

Not Guilty! lol!

I really liked your profile - but I only looked at the pics

nah - but seriously I liked it - shows you have both got more than a few pairs of brain cells to rub together, you have a pretty good idea of what you want and like, you have GREAT pics (altho girls are probably going to want to see some more of sexyguy).

Overall you basically come across like a genuine, down to earth, fun, and above all sexy as fook, couple (or at the very worst a pair who can fake it convincingly )

In fact, I liked it so much you can expect a message from me when I take my sexy swinging motorbike road trip this summer

The only thing I would say is while I think the note that asks for a particular phrase in any messages sent to you is a good idea to show that someone has read the profile and no doubt helps you quickly out the wheat from the chaff, I dont think the long list of other instructions is really necessary - my view is that any genuine guy or girl who messages you shouldnt need to be told that as it should be second nature to them anyway, and the idiots that send you crap you are going to send you crap whether the instructions are there or not.

In other words, the mark of a decent and genuine person on here is someone who can send you a message that matches those requirements WITHOUT having to be told them - its not as if someone needs to be a mind reader to figure it out, the info is either all there on your profile, or is simple basic courtesy.

Make sense?

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex


"1. Read peoples profiles!!

2. Dont send one line e mails or messages! eg "Hi I have a big cock".

3.Have some decent pics on your profile.

4. Be able to accomadate (your single/ why cant you?)

5. Dont get abusive if you get a polite "Thanks but no thanks"

6.Dont be arrogant, even if it is Big your not doing us a favour!

7. Be Patient, people have jobs, kids lives...we cant all drop everything.

8. Be able to meet in evenings!! Why wudnt you be able too?

9.HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

R&J XX

Good tips, don't get me wrong, however I feel some holes can be picked from this as it sounds like a set of rules dictating how (single guys) should be expected to live their private lives. Example responses:

1) Applies to everyone, not just single guys.

2) Couples guilty of the same ie "you look good, lets meet" (ZoeRose gets these a lotf rom couples) or "Come and shag my wife" (that I get from time to time).

3) I know loads of couples/females that don't have ANY pics at all.

4) I know loads of single females that can't accomodate (have kids... live with family.. or worse, married and don't want hubby knowing).

5) I've received several "Your loss!" responses from single females.

6) As above, a number of coupels and single fmeales get arrogant cause they do think "The lifestyle is about us, you bend to our whims!".

7) Exactly, possibly in response to why guys may not be able to accomdoate - we ALL have lives.

8) A good friend of mine looks after his mother (I've been at his to drop something off, hence can't accomodate at all - good thing I can). We all have different circumstances.

9) Applies to all (soem coupels don't half get arrogant as if they doing you a favour!).

Like I said, good points in general, but either can't apply to single guys alone, or has to apply to everyone.

Hope doesn't sound too harsh. "

Totally agree with Ahabs, these rules should apply to all, not just single guys, I think its becoming the norm to accuse single guys of all the wrongs on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally agree with Ahabs, these rules should apply to all, not just single guys, I think its becoming the norm to accuse single guys of all the wrongs on this site. "

Becoming? lol

I agree too though... Despite the fact I'm not interested in men, some of the better written messages I get are from men. In fact I don't think I have had a well written (initial) message from a couple or female in my whole time here!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Totally agree with Ahabs, these rules should apply to all, not just single guys, I think its becoming the norm to accuse single guys of all the wrongs on this site. "

Not just this site - I've seen it on other sites as well as a few occurences at soem clubs (NB: no fault of the clubs, merely the rude individuals on the night).

Once saw at a club a single lady (who had made clear on arrival what her intentions for the night were) say to a single guy she didn't come with "Are we gonna fuck or what?". I was flabbergasted thinking "Now if a guy had said that to a lady, he'd get slapped - and rightfully so".

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?


"

I agree too though... Despite the fact I'm not interested in men, some of the better written messages I get are from men. In fact I don't think I have had a well written (initial) message from a couple or female in my whole time here!"

Lol Its true! I've had some lovely thought out messages from men (and some one liners) But as single men are in the majority on this and other sites, I suppose some women think "Fancy a quicky" will get us jumping up and grabbing our coats cos we've pulled.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"

I agree too though... Despite the fact I'm not interested in men, some of the better written messages I get are from men. In fact I don't think I have had a well written (initial) message from a couple or female in my whole time here!

Lol Its true! I've had some lovely thought out messages from men (and some one liners) But as single men are in the majority on this and other sites, I suppose some women think "Fancy a quicky" will get us jumping up and grabbing our coats cos we've pulled."

Ofcourse it will - don't you know most men are viewed as desperate and will shag anything? lol.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Do you feel used and abused

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

No. Sadly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Guys

We completely understand your gripes.

Its never fun being accused of stuff your not guilty of!

However, its a rough world out there, and as singles you are unfortunatly not in a particularly strong position.

That said, you particular guys seem to be doing ok, which speaks volumes for you!

Its a sad fact that 95% of single guys on here are not up to the mark!

Nonetheless we accept a lot of cpls are rude too.....and confess to the odd one line e mail ourselfs!

No more we promise

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"Guys

.....and confess to the odd one line e mail ourselfs!"

I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with a short intro message.

I could be wrong, but I reckon that most folks go straight to the pics attached to a message first anyway, and only then, if they look ok, will they have a read of what you have to say for yourself (be honest everyone - I'm right arent I? )

Of course thats assuming that the message headline, the little thumbnail pic, and age/location etc have ticked enough boxes for the recipient to even bother opening the message in the first place.

So considering the volume of mail some people get, I generally think that a short, personal, funny and to the point message, with some good pics attached is just as good as an essay - if not better.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"Guys

Its a sad fact that 95% of single guys on here are not up to the mark!

"

But is that not just a reflection of the single male population in general rather than a reflection of single male swingers and/or the guys on this site?

For example if you went to a bar, a club, or a bus queue, there's probably only a small percentage of guys you'd see there that would have the looks/personality/attitude/social skills required for you to consider taking them home right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys

Its a sad fact that 95% of single guys on here are not up to the mark!

"

Not exclusive to single guys at all, I often wonder what percentage of "single women" or "couples" profiles on here are genuine and therefore up to the mark so to speak.

This site, like many other sites and also like life in general has it's fair share of folk who are simply never going to be able to deliver as advertised because they are fake.

The difference here is that at my age I have worked out that I simply do not have enough heartbeats left to waste on bollocks that is never going to change.

Fakes/wasters/multiple profiles are all fairly easy to spot so ignore and move on, it really is that simple folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would agree. I have a VERY honest profile lol, and yet the lazy gits will not read it and send 1-liners which get instantly deleted without being read. Or I am criticised for being honest. Or you get the pushy, aggresive ones, and as I have said before. I am NOT an unpaid prostitute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is nothing more annoying than someone having on their profile, please dont wink, send one line messages, and no copy and paste messages.

so i sit down and i send a message to someone im interested in. now i only type with one finger so my messages can sometimes take a while to compose, so you send someone a message and you get a reply. sorry not interested ? which is fine, just because i send someone a message doesnt mean im automaticly get a meet from it, now the point im making is it would have been easier and less time consuming to send a wink or a short message if thats the reply your going to receive back ? ( this message has taken me 8 mins to type out

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I would agree. I have a VERY honest profile lol, and yet the lazy gits will not read it and send 1-liners which get instantly deleted without being read. Or I am criticised for being honest. Or you get the pushy, aggresive ones, and as I have said before. I am NOT an unpaid prostitute. "

You're a PAID prostitute? Cool!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PMSL ROFL

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By *iker BullMan
over a year ago

leeds


"Gents

Thanks for the replies

And apologies for the generalisations.

We understand everyone has a life and circumstances are different for each of us.

The deadly sins of one line e mails amd profiles can apply to all.

However, there are a large number of "single" guys on here who clearly are not single, and cant or wont put any effort into arrangeing meets!

We suppose its almost like a courtship??if that makes sense...you have to put a bit of work in to get our interest.

If a guy e mails us, and he has made an effort, we always reply even if we are not interested.

On the flip side we have once met a guy within 2 hours of an initial e mail.(tart) lol

Our intent was really just to give our opinion and advice.

You guys are obviously a bit smarter than average!

Take it easy and keep it coming. xxxx

R&J

PS would also appreciate any profile feedback on ours

XX"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hear hear!quite bloody right m8

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would agree. I have a VERY honest profile lol, and yet the lazy gits will not read it and send 1-liners which get instantly deleted without being read. Or I am criticised for being honest. Or you get the pushy, aggresive ones, and as I have said before. I am NOT an unpaid prostitute. "

Oh yes you are! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"there is nothing more annoying than someone having on their profile, please dont wink, send one line messages, and no copy and paste messages.

so i sit down and i send a message to someone im interested in. now i only type with one finger so my messages can sometimes take a while to compose, so you send someone a message and you get a reply. sorry not interested ? which is fine, just because i send someone a message doesnt mean im automaticly get a meet from it, now the point im making is it would have been easier and less time consuming to send a wink or a short message if thats the reply your going to receive back ? ( this message has taken me 8 mins to type out "

Understand your point, i dont type much faster!

The main point is a lot of guys Carpet Bomb cpls with e mails hoping to get replies, having Never even looked at any part of the profile other than the pics!

My point being....if you take the time to read, then consider your approach you will have far more success!

Keep typing....

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just be yourself and ncie i say whether single guy, fems, or cpls............. its easy really lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just be yourself and ncie i say whether single guy, fems, or cpls............. its easy really lol xxx "

We agree,we dont like this rules for single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised there hasn't been a "why is this thread up again" comment. Don't worry, I like seeing how the threads turn out differently each time. I reckon that it all depends on who gets on here first, threads can become very bitchy or very light hearted. I will take any advice I can get and I appreciate that its being offered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont forget those that think their verifications is enough to pull a girl in and those that abuse your trust by texting daily, dont forget also, mine says i dont do younger vs older so why do i get messages from the 18 - 26yr olds???

So yes, please read the profile first before contacting, like it says i cant accommodate and i do 2 jobs so cant drop everything for sex lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why bother givin tips nearly all decents profile say same doesnt stop single men or cpls from not reading and doin what they want, its a shame coz its spoiling this site xx

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By *oraceMan
over a year ago

camberely

couldnt have said it better myself.

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance


"Gents

Thanks for the replies

And apologies for the generalisations.

We understand everyone has a life and circumstances are different for each of us.

The deadly sins of one line e mails amd profiles can apply to all.

However, there are a large number of "single" guys on here who clearly are not single, and cant or wont put any effort into arrangeing meets!

We suppose its almost like a courtship??if that makes sense...you have to put a bit of work in to get our interest.

If a guy e mails us, and he has made an effort, we always reply even if we are not interested.

On the flip side we have once met a guy within 2 hours of an initial e mail.(tart) lol

Our intent was really just to give our opinion and advice.

You guys are obviously a bit smarter than average!

Take it easy and keep it coming. xxxx

R&J

PS would also appreciate any profile feedback on ours

XX"

Read your profile, you sound like control freaks to me......I wouldn't approach you........but there again you'd iggy me cos I don't fit your criteria.

You asked for feedback

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Gents

Thanks for the replies

And apologies for the generalisations.

We understand everyone has a life and circumstances are different for each of us.

The deadly sins of one line e mails amd profiles can apply to all.

However, there are a large number of "single" guys on here who clearly are not single, and cant or wont put any effort into arrangeing meets!

We suppose its almost like a courtship??if that makes sense...you have to put a bit of work in to get our interest.

If a guy e mails us, and he has made an effort, we always reply even if we are not interested.

On the flip side we have once met a guy within 2 hours of an initial e mail.(tart) lol

Our intent was really just to give our opinion and advice.

You guys are obviously a bit smarter than average!

Take it easy and keep it coming. xxxx

R&J

PS would also appreciate any profile feedback on ours

XX

Read your profile, you sound like control freaks to me......I wouldn't approach you........but there again you'd iggy me cos I don't fit your criteria.

You asked for feedback"

Well from a guy whose only feedback is not from a meet....we cant say we are too worried what you think.

However, for the record..

Control Freaks NO!

Know What we Want YES

Had bad experiences YES!

Still open to Good Genuine Guys YES!

Would we ignore you?

Probably YES

Thanks J X

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

You're so wrong!!!!!!!!!

There were verifications from a cpl I have met on a few ocassions but they have since left the site. But hey build a bridge and get over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being a newb to this site (a few days) i welcome any tips i can get, i wasn't sure what to put....

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance


"being a newb to this site (a few days) i welcome any tips i can get, i wasn't sure what to put.... "

Post in the introductions threads. Introduce yourself, you'll get plenty of help in there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You're so wrong!!!!!!!!!

There were verifications from a cpl I have met on a few ocassions but they have since left the site. But hey build a bridge and get over it."

Whatever....lol

Spent 17 years building real bridges!

But hey, we are here to make friends etc....so Take it easy and good luck

R

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"being a newb to this site (a few days) i welcome any tips i can get, i wasn't sure what to put.... "

My advice (male half of cpl)

Expand yor profile a bit, tell people a bit about your self, likes dislikes...why they should meet you maybe?

Bit like a CV and Job interview I suppose.

A few discrete pics and a face pic you can send on request.

Also read peoples profiles, write a decent e mail, have some patience, and be thick skin!

Good luck

R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for that, most helpful, not sure about being thick skined though, also what's this copyright notice, etc so may not be taken by xxx university or such and such...and should i add that to the end of mine?

Cheers

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

"also what's this copyright notice, etc so may not be taken by xxx university or such and such...and should i add that to the end of mine?"

Don't bother - has no legal meaning whatever.. see zillions of previous threads and mentions

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


" also what's this copyright notice, etc so may not be taken by xxx university or such and such?

"

Its a waste of time


"

..and should i add that to the end of mine?"

No

http://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

stayed out of this thread for 2 months... yey... anyway... thought i'd finally contribute....

what do I think of "advice" threads, well unless someone specifically asks for it, the they can come across as condesending, being spoken down to and sometimes downright rude...

I think Ahabs got is about right in this one... everything that had been said could have been said about couples or single fems, not just single guys... and sometimes I do feel as if single guys are just an easy target.....

if the title of the thread had been "advice for couples" and it had been a single guy posting what was posted, I think the result would have been different......

what I also think this kind of thread actually does unwittingly is 3 things...

1) just produce a lot of "clone" profiles... with people thinking they must do "this" to get meets....

2) just made it harder for those people who do "get it" so to speak to actually get meets.....

3) just made it harder for those people looking for meets to distinguish between those who are genuine and those who say the right things just to get there leg over!!

a lot of things can be said for individuality.. and sometimes I think that in people/couples being so demanding about what they want that more and more individuality is forgotten about!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

All fair points from Fab

Our motive for the original thread was genuine.

We meet single guys, so we are not here to put them down or whatever.

We are sure many cpls and women make the same mistakes as a lot of single guys.

However, we get dozens and dozens of e mails from guys who simply dont get it!

The guys we have met, have had that individual profile that caught our eye.

They have that "something" that many lack.

Our intent was simply to spread the love.....and give guys the Heads Up...

No more.

There are a lot of very touchy people on here!

Anyhoo....thats enough for now.

R&J X

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"stayed out of this thread for 2 months... yey... anyway... thought i'd finally contribute....

what do I think of "advice" threads, well unless someone specifically asks for it, the they can come across as condesending, being spoken down to and sometimes downright rude...

I think Ahabs got is about right in this one... everything that had been said could have been said about couples or single fems, not just single guys... and sometimes I do feel as if single guys are just an easy target.....

if the title of the thread had been "advice for couples" and it had been a single guy posting what was posted, I think the result would have been different......

what I also think this kind of thread actually does unwittingly is 3 things...

1) just produce a lot of "clone" profiles... with people thinking they must do "this" to get meets....

2) just made it harder for those people who do "get it" so to speak to actually get meets.....

3) just made it harder for those people looking for meets to distinguish between those who are genuine and those who say the right things just to get there leg over!!

a lot of things can be said for individuality.. and sometimes I think that in people/couples being so demanding about what they want that more and more individuality is forgotten about!"

* nods *

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